"Are you ok?" I ask hesitantly. She frowns more…I guess that wasn't the right question, but what else am I suppose to ask?
"Yeah I was just tired…it was too loud inside, why do you ask?" she says in a near whisper.
"I um saw that your lip..is bleeding," I reply glancing at her lips, "just wanted to make sure you were OK," I finish lightly.
"Oh," she replies touching her lip, looking at her fingers tips, "yeah I was..biting my lip forever in there..they..this all makes me kinda nervous," she mumbles as her hand moves in a motion as if dismissing her discomfort.
"Heh, you don't have to worry about that. Everyone in there is worried about themselves. That's the trick," I say trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh I wish someone had told me that..before I ate my lip," she says joking back.
"Hehe yeah, hey stay right here…I'll be back and I promise I won't bring a crowd of people with me," I say as I reach out for the door handle. I get inside and make my way to the food table or the area that someone decided to lay out the food and soda haphazardly. There's the cheap soda, beer to compensate for the cheap soda, chips, surprisingly some veggies and dip. I grab a plate and try to get some things and grab a coke since that has caffeine in it. I make my way outside without anyone really noticing me and breathe out a sigh of relief as I shut the door behind me, the loudness cutting off.
"Hey, I brought you something that might make you wake up and do you need some food, there's veggies here, but it's just a rumor that they're healthy for you so don't be scared of them," I say trying to make light of my randomness.
"Thank you, you didn't have to do that," she replies as I set the plate down on a table that's near the lawn chair.
"No problem, I figure its dark out..we need our night vision. What better ways to help with that than carrots," I say as I take a carrot, dip it in some ranch and bit into it.
"What, I thought they help you with vision…all together."
"Nope, someone lied to you, eat enough of it and you can be a cat…an orange cat," I say smiling. "Great night vision I tell you, you're on your way to becoming a spy at any moment."
She smiles and stares at the food. "Is the dip fat free?" she asks in a near whisper.
"Ahhh I didn't actually check, there wasn't a lid lying around exactly," I say in my odd conflicted tone that I have when I try not to sound sarcastic.
"Oh..yeah..ok."
"What do you care about fat free dip? You're skinny, you don't need to worry about it, just eat and drink some soda, caffeine is a god!" I say joking around again. She doesn't smile back, she looks...sad in a way.
"Haha, yeah," she says smiling lightly… "is it diet…the soda," she asks looking away.
"Um no, just coke…and some beer but I figured since beer is disgusting I'd leave it in there…"
She nods as I trail off. "Why do you care anyways…really, you're skinny."
"No I'm not," she says sadly and coldly.
"Yes, you are," I say as I take her hand gently. I wouldn't usually do this, I've only just met her but there's no reason for someone to think like that when that's clearly not the case.
She looks up again just as someone opens the door and screams, "Hey! Get in here the party is picking up!" Four people come out and grab me, not listening as I almost scream I'm talking with someone. By now we've stopped holding hands, she dropped mine the second some lame moron screamed. Ugh, of course that lame moron is Russel, but hey, that's just him and I love him for his strong personality but people are pulling me into the house that smells of sweat and this guy…Eli or something is waiting by the door to go out, I guess for a cigarette or whatever and I'm blocking his way as I try to stop my friends from pulling me deeper into the house. I give him a look that hopefully says sorry and then angrily glancing at my god damned friends. They pull me in with one last shove and for the next two maybe three hours, I have no idea, I don't wear a watch and its all a blur. Not from alcohol or anything mostly boredom, so I drive home, walk up the steps heavily, my legs are so tired and my bed waits for me. I fall into it after taking off my nearly dry clothes that got wet after someone decided to take the party outside and play with the hose. I'm asleep before I can even think to count to ten.
Next day-
I can't believe I got in at three. No, I can believe that, it's not like I haven't done that before, just means I'll be half awake for English, which I really don't mind at all. I'm dressed in a few minutes, an old tshirt that's worn thin with a semi-new sweater and a black skirt, ahhhh I'm too tired to care what's going on. Somehow I manage to get to school and English class with Grace who I swear pays too much attention in that class. It's not healthy. She looks close to drooling over Mr. Dimitri for some reason, though I'm not one to judge a guy but still. Two highly caffeinated drinks later and I'm "myself" the upbeat, crazy person that people like to talk to. The bell rings after second period…what was that lecture on..aha…Tad! I make my way through the people and mess up his hair as he's talking to someone who I can't see, since he's blocking them with his damned tallness.
"Ahhh, what the hell," he says turning around. "Ah, hey Katie, you're such a pain" he continues as he shakes his head.
"Heh yeaaah, but you love it. Your day just wouldn't be complete," I say as I put my elbow on his shoulder, leaning into his to say yeah, that's right, mwahaha you love me.
"Yeah yeah, well thanks for rudely interrupting me as I was talking to Jessie…" he says with a hint of annoyance as he nods his chin towards her.
"How rude of Tad for not introducing us, god..where is his mannors?" I say jokingly.
He huffs and kind of rolls his eyes…"Katie, this is Jessie, Jessie-Katie."
She looks at me confused. "Hi," she says unsure of herself.
I wave my hand that's on Tad's shoulder. "Hi," I reply just as the bell rings and she gets this weird look where she just realized we met last night. "I'm sorry, I have to go," I say to Jessie, "I'm about to absence out of trig and I need those days for something worthwhile," I say to Tad knowing quite well that he'll have another party soon. We all diverge our separate ways and I can't help but wonder if this day is real…for once it's actually going to be interesting.
Whatever the teacher was talking about in my last class is beyond me. I keep thinking about Jessie…she looked different. Could be that there was actual lighting this time instead of dim lights from the pool, but she just looked…
"Katie Singer, do you have the answer to the question? Or are you too amused by the wall to understand what I'm saying," asked my wonderfully nice teacher. Ugh! I guess I was staring off…fine-I can be just as nice as him. I touch my fingers gently against my head and close my eyes for a longer period of time than a usual blink and respond slowly for emphasis, "yeah, sorry…since the accident, the doctors said that the migraines are normal.." I say trailing off making it seem like I'm lost in thought again.
He blinks and gives me a sympathetic look, "Sorry to hear that, if you need prolonged time on your homework talk to me after class." He says and then goes back to the class.
Nice! You can't get by without a couple of lies I think in my head. After all everyone lies. The class goes by faster now and I think some more about Jessie…how does she know Tad? Does she remember me? Does she think I'm completely strange giving her two different impressions from me talking to her yesterday and me tackling Tad this morning? The bell rings and I turn to pick up my things as I slowly get up. "Katie," my teacher says gently.
"Yes," I reply quietly gathering my books and crap, got to keep up the act.
"If you need extra time to get some work done it's fine, just try to not get behind, alright? You're a good student," he says nicely.
"Thank you…but I'm sure I can handle the work, thanks anyway." I try to look preoccupied, "I have to get to my next class, thanks," and I walk out, get past the corner and burst into a smile…oh yeaah. And the Oscar goes to…hah no..but that girl in that movie…Volver..she was good. Anyways..god Katie, talk about ADD…and why am I referring to myself in the third person? I'll be honest, some ADHD. Just as I finish that thought and turn another corner I run into someone and my books and their books splatter across the floor, some papers falling out of binders in the process.
"I'm sorry," I say in an odd tone..the type where I'm annoyed at myself but no one can figure that out. I reach for a paper, glance at it to make sure it's mine, it says Psychologist Appointment at….
"It's ok, its not your fault," a sweet, quiet voice says. Ok, so I didn't run into a guy, a plus, but I recognize that voice…
"Jessie?" Crap! Note to self: stop talking out loud and stop saying note to self in your freaking head!
"Hm," she says gently as though I asked a question.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you...again." God why can't I say something funny…where's the Singer charm? "In case you forgot I'm.."
"I remember," she says quietly, cutting me off, "from last night..hi Katie," she says with a light smile. At last I exhale slowly. Why am I so nervous? Maybe because I ran into a girl and that's awkward no matter no matter who it is, unless it's Tad…hey!
"How do you kow Tad," I ask in a less nervous voice, trying to make light of the moment as we pick up the last few papers.
"Oh..he…I don't really know. He and my brother Eli kinda know each other so he just started talking to me one night as I was waiting for Eli to get out of practice, they came out together and I guess that's it," she says nervously. I hand her the psychologist paper making it seem like I didn't read it, but she looks around more nervous than before. I feel bad, she doesn't have to be nervous, it's just me…
"I have to go," she says quickly.
"Alright..I'm sorry for running into you, hopefully I'll see you later…and there will be a lack of papers flying through the air," I say lamely as she takes a step away, she turns around a bit and smiles.
"Hopefully," she says.
Later…
Lunch comes around and I haven't seen Jessie around, but hey its lunch so that means…no, not gossip, that means food! I'm so happy to get to lunch that while I'm peering into my bag I made the night before and can't remember what I put into it I run into someone. "Ah, this is happening to me so much today, I'm sorry," I say in a rushed manor. This really is embarrassing as my apple rolls down the hall…
"Don't worry about it," a quiet response comes out. "Maybe third times the charm, next time you see me we might not actually run into each other," she continues with a small smile and slight laugh as she speaks. God, she's adorable.
"Hey, to make it up to you would you like to sit with me..I can tell you all about how I fell down some stairs and nearly took out five students coming up them," I say with a small wink.
"Really?" she looks at me, a smile creeping up. We walk to the table as Tad comes up from behind us and puts his arm over my shoulder, I shake my head, what can I do? The guy doesn't get anything, even non-subtle clues have been lost to him.
"Well no that didn't happen, but I did push Tad down some stairs once, it was fun, you should try it," I say with a huge smile just to show Tad I'm teasing him..well half teasing.
"Hey now, if you keep that up you won't be invited to my party this weekend," he says with a very obvious wink.
"Tad, it's Monday, why are you worrying about a party days from now?" I ask out loud, it's not like Tad to plan ahead.
"Well I have to plan it and make sure important people will be attending,'' he states, glancing longingly at Jessie. Great..fun times..alright, that's ok..breathe…I love Tad. I don't even know Jessie, so for all I know she could be playing the cute and innocent thing and is going to break his heart…wait, Tad has a heart? Ok kidding and I'm thinking to myself again..I made a note to myself, what the heck! But really, tad likes her…so where's the off switch for being interested in someone? I need to find it…Tad and I can't like the same girl and she's straight.
"So Katie are you in?" Tad asks nicely.
"Well let's see. If I don't show up you won't really enjoy yourself..because after all who's going to show up if I don't," I say with my tongue sticking out to the side.
"Alright Katie you're set, how about you Jessie?" he asks her in almost a pleading way, it's cute in a sense.
"Um, I'll think about it," she says weakly. I glance over to her, she doesn't seem to enjoy the idea. She seems uncomfortable…ugh, why does a yawn have to come out of me right now? I feel so rude, I quickly try to cover my mouth but my hand seems to be going in slow motion. Jessie laughs though even after she tried to suppress it.
"What?" I ask with a frown. I mean why is she laughing, I'm so confused.
"Nothing..just what time did you wake up?"
"At the crack of dawn," I say with a lift in my voice.
"Hm and what time is that," she asks with a curious, joking tone.
"Nine o'clock thank you very much..is it that obvious?"
"You look kinda tired..and you seem to be moving pretty slowly."
"Hah, well I'll live. I have study hall first period so I have every right to sleep in," I say with a serious nod.
She laughs some more…Jesus Christ I could listen to her laugh for hours…it's official, I'm going to do all I can to make this girl laugh. Too late to say something in an attempt to be witty, bell rings and students get up to dump their trays and wander back to their classes to learn nothing. The irony of it all, we go to school to learn but we learn nothing of value. Someone taps me on the shoulder, where's my head?
"Katie, earth to Katie…you might want to get going," a sweet voice says.
"Oh, thanks Jessie and thanks for not yelling..my head can't take it."
"Sure thing, so I'll see you later."
"Yeah, hopefully," I say mimicking her words. Now I have to get to my locker and take some aspirin before my next class, onward with the pointlessness.
