The last bell finally rings. I wander through the halls trying to avoid anyone that wants to talk about hair, clothes, whatever they want or are complaining about. There's an overly colorful poster up saying there's a drama club play try-outs. Naturally being bored to death and wanting to avoid my house and parents that enjoy disregarding my existence I snuck into the back of the auditorium which meant bumping into a chair that will inevitably leave a bruise. I bite my lip to stop from saying anything. After I finally find a seat out of view from everyone I immediately start to tune out my surroundings, but someone with this…amazing voice made me pay attention, almost an impossible thing to do. But this girl's voice was stunning. It was angelic and emotional. Hard to tie together because I figure everything that is viewed as angelic is also stigmatized as naïve. This girls voice was raw. She seemed as if she had some secret hidden in it. Maybe I was just delusional or reading into her sound too much but it's how it seemed. When it was over I realized that the girl was Jessie. Well that was unexpected…and I think everyone else is taken aback a little since its dead quiet in here. I don't think she knows how to take it as a compliment because she seems to be nervous and starts to pull at her sleeve. Everyone is just staring at her..crap she hates it when people stare at her…the party thing and the conversation playing in my head. I start clapping, what the hell it was amazing. Others join in and she loosens her shoulders and relaxes a little. She glances around the room, see's me, and gives me a subtle smile. Aha, saved her. Small point for me. She exists the stage and another girl comes on. I tune out again because now I'm distracted by the idea of Jessie singing. People go on and off stage with seemingly less clapping that what Jessie received. Ok Katie, try to focus on your homework or you'll never get to watch Buffy tonight. I can't believe that no one but my brothers know about my obsession, but how can I help it? Willow is adorable. Shy, but smart, just the way I like 'em. Anyways…focus on the homework which means nothing but a waste of time.
Soon enough as I just got through my English that involved an analysis on Shakespeare who is overrated in my book, the auditions are over. I mean come on, the guy uses the same techniques in all his plays, some just happen to be more dark than others and they're timeless but I enjoyed putting a small rant in about his female characters being second and his sexism with the women are evil theme and blah blah blah. Luckily that's done and so are the auditions, Jessie comes out with Grace Manning? Random. Tad goes up to Jessie first. The compliment rain down so he can't look like a moron. She blushes a little and turns to me.
"hey, I didn't know you were interested in drama club activities Katie," she says with sincerity.
"I'm not I just had time to kill, but I'm glad I did otherwise I wouldn't have been able to hear you, you were amazing." She blushes some more but remains sincere with a sweet thank you in response.
"So Grace," I say turning to her, taking my attention away from Jessie for a moment, "you never told me you and Jessie were friends."
"We're not," she says in an indifferent tone, "she's my step-sister," she continues. Jessie looks a little uncomfortable at the comment.
Ahhhh what the hell, think fast! "Well we can't all be lucky to have a step-sister to at some point steal some jewelry from, I only have brothers, my wrist with a huge watch on it wouldn't work," I respond. Way to bullshit your way through an awkward moment there. At least they laugh and the moment passes.
"Hey, we gotta get going," Grace says.
"Alright," says Tad who stands on the side, left out.
"Shit," Grace mumbles in an exasperated tone, "I promised Mr. Dimitri I would help him with this new club idea for school. Tad can you give Jessie a ride home?" she asks almost pleading.
"No, sorry Manning, I've got practice in about ten minutes. Sorry Jessie," he adds.
"I'll take her, if you want," I offer looking at Jessie. She seems to relax a little more, being asked directly instead of essentially being passed around.
"That'd be great," she says.
"Right then," Grace says checking her watch… "gotta go," she just about dashes off to her next engagement.
"See you girls later, sorry again Jessie I can't take you," Tad says in shock sincerity. He may be kinda, well…dense, but he has a good heart. He walks away with his huge sports bag on his shoulder.
"Don't be pummeled there Thadeus. We all know you bruise easily," I shout back jokingly.
"Yeah, from your boney knuckles Katie! And hey!" His last words as he leaves out the double doors. I can't help but laugh at that, he's gotten plenty of bruises from moi.
"So you and I are going on an excursion. To your house it is," I say with a smile. "I love driving around with people, it's more fun, makes the drive better."
"Agreed," Jessie says with a smile. Crap, I think it's going to be hard not to try and make this girl smile.
"Now where do you live," I ask as we head out the doors. She explains as we exit the school and head for my car. Just as we get in it hits me she lives about two streets away-unexpected moment of the day number two. We chat about how close we live to one another, what classes we hate, how school should start later, in my opinion at noon when I'm willing to be conscious and there's that smile and laugh again. I can't believe we only met yesterday, it's one of the first times I've been able to actually talk to someone. Hm, I think and apparently said out loud when I'm deeply concentrating on many things.
"What," Jessie asks suddenly, stirring me back to our conversation.
"Oh..I was just thinking how we met randomly by accident. You know, rather serendipitously." I smile to myself, I love that word and the movie is cute.
"Nice five dollar word you got there. And yes, I have to say it was random, but I'm glad it happened, cause now I don't have to ride with Grace driving like a maniac," she laughs to herself. "I swear she almost hit a mailbox," she laughs some more. I can't help laughing along.
"Well, I'm proud to say I have not taken any lives of innocent mailboxes but I am prone to not slowing down at the yellow lights. It just means speed up a little to miss the kinda pink lights which aren't as bad as the mean red ones." I joke, she laughs some more, clearly enjoying this little conversation.
"You're crazy," she replies through laughter.
"You didn't get the neighborhood notice someone escaped from the insane asylum? That was me. Shhhh don't tell." I wink at her. This only makes her look at me in disbelief and laugh some more. I just about pull into her drive way when she says, "thank you very much, I haven't laughed this much all day, school makes me just about want to sky dive to avoid it and I'm afraid of heights." She says looking to the side.
"Hah, I used to be afraid of heights, but then I realized it's just the falling I'm worried about so I pretend I'm not where I am at that moment and it works out," I respond rambling on, without my realization until I'm done. But Jessie doesn't seem to mind, she just laughs, smiles and says, "I never thought about it that way, I'll try it." She gets out of the car and stares at me for a moment. "Thank you, it was really nice of you to go out of your way," she says sweetly.
"No problem Jessie. If I'm ever around and the option is either Grace or myself it's always your choice. I'll see you tomorrow at our wonderful hell-hole our government mislabeled as a school." She laughs and walks to her house. I wait until she gets inside and drive away to my wonderful abode of uncomfortable living.
The next day goes smoothly. Classes are somewhat a breeze accept for the occasional mandatory participation. Later..three fourths of the way through I spot Jessie in a study hall. She's working diligently as opposed to almost everyone else who's playing cards, reading teen people or reading crappy Harry Potter. I sneak in as the teacher gets a call on his cell phone and becomes distracted. I take the seat next to her. "Hey, you know what I don't get? The teachers can use cell phones and we can't in school. Madness I say, pure contradiction," I say in a whisper. She laughs quietly and smiles widely.
"Good point but what are you doing here? Do you have class," she asks concerned.
"I'm good, I have study hall and I'm skipping it to make sure my legs are still working, patrol the halls so..um..yeah..no idea where I was going with that," I say with a confused face. She laughs more and stares at me, but in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm here to entertain her like everyone else; she just stares as if she's trying to figure me out. She shakes her head as if to come back to reality.
"Nice," she says happily. I frown a bit after a few thoughts pop into my head. "Ever feel like you don't fit in anywhere, like you don't belong in any group that's here? You know..like you're just here walking around unseen even if people talk to you, they don't really…know you? What a stupid question. I think that was a completely stupid question," I say getting nervous since the subject of our conversation changed so quickly. I sit back in my chair and rub my hand on my thigh.
"No, I know what you mean," is all Jessie says and I relax.
"Oh, ok well..I'll talk to you later class is about to end, I'll see you after school, I bet you got into the play," I say as I stand up, taking a few steps towards the door, the teacher still doesn't notice.
"Alright," she says with a smile, "see you then." I walk out of class, achieve getting my books, going to the last two periods and making it to rehearsal that Jessie and Grace both managed to get in. Tad's already there. He's surprised to see me, but jumps right into talking about Jessie.
"Isn't she amazing? She's not like the other girls, no offense Katie, but she's way hotter than you," he says with a huge grin that resembles a little boy after he gets a piece of sugar filled candy.
"Thank you, as touching as that was, yes, she's very nice." I say to hide the happiness in my voice by downplaying it. "Now shut up, they're about to sing," I add in, so I don't have to hear Tad talk about how hot Jessie is in detail. About an hour later, after all my homework is done everyone was stirring and getting ready to go home. Again Grace had to talk to Mr. Dimitri who I find painstakingly dull and Tad left about half an hour ago for practice. Grace asked again if I would mind taking Jessie. I looked at Jessie and joked about it being such a burden.
"No, I wouldn't but only if it's OK with Jessie." I smile at her.
"I'm all for it, just let me go to my locker, Grace, I'll see you at home." With Jessie's approval Grace disappeared quickly and Jessie was left to walk to her locker with me following. On the way she slowed down. "You know what you were saying about not feeling as though you belong," she asks quietly. I nod and give an Mhmm. "Well I get what you meant, but it's not just in school…since my parents divorce…I've had to share a house and everyone is all mixed together and trying to make it work that I guess I don't get to talk to my dad as much since he's wrapped up with Lily and my mom's become so involved in her work and I can't really talk to Eli anymore because he's doing whatever new things he does. Then I come here…and I haven't really made any real friends, you know…people that I can actually talk to or at least people who will accept me…for my thoughts or screwed up life..."she trails off.
"Jessie your life isn't screwed up and trust me it'll get better. I didn't know Eli was your brother though and as far as friends go it's hard to find people here that are actually willing to accept you for your thoughts. You think my friends" I say with hand motions, "care about what I think? They don't care that I read maybe two to three books a week of that I volunteer at an animal shelter on the weekends, they care about if I can show up to a party. Maybe it'll get better and they'll become less self involved about outward appearances, or maybe you'll come across some people who you can talk to and I'm rambling, sorry," I say looking at the wall.
"No, I'm glad you can say what you're thinking. Anyways, this is what I'm talking about," she say quietly once she's reached her locker, "I don't have conversations like this with anyone, well..except you." She continues as she turns the dial and retrieves her things. She frowns for a second. "You read two to three books a week," she says curiously.
"Hey, I'm no scarecrow, I have a brain!" I say defensively. I can't help it, people think I'm dumb because I don't pay attention in school or something.
"No, no, that's not what I meant. I was just wondering what you read…or what you're reading now," she asks softly.
"Hm..since this is a big secret, you can't tell anyone about the books, they're very sensitive to who knows about them," I reply with a smile and she laughs so I continue, "right now-Sex, Drugs and Coco Puffs. It's kind of funny since its written by this pretentious sounding guy, but he makes me sad when he mocks bands like Coldplay, since I love them, no matter how simple their lyrics are and also Stick Figure about this girl that fights her eating disorder." Jessie keeps nodding her head and then inhales sharply. I look at her worried.
"My backpack just hurt my shoulder, it's kind of heavy," she says switching it to the other shoulder with a nonchalant tone.
"Happens to me all the time, so getting homework done during your rehearsal makes me happy but anyways the book is really good, its really um…in depth. So far I like it, its sad but she explains why she doesn't eat. I mean…I used to not eat three meals a day," I say with a whisper even though no ones around, "It's just easier to not eat when you..feel so..empty. Ah sorry, you don't want to hear my thoughts," I stop abruptly.
"No, I don't mind at all," she replies quietly, but in a non-judgmental tone. "No one else would talk about that here to just about anyone…" she trails off. We're in the car now, she turns towards me and just smiles. After I start up the car I ask her if she'd mind some music.
"Not at all," she says happily.
"How about some Keane," I say contently.
"never heard of them, but if you like Coldplay I'm sure your taste in music isn't as bad as Grace's." she jokes.
"Keane it is then," I smile to her and we drive to her house quietly with Jessie concentrating on the lyrics, me focusing on the road. She glances at me on occasion and I pretend as though I haven't noticed. She doesn't seem to freak out at the thought that I didn't east so much in the past, that's a plus. I can't believe I can actually talk to her, it's so easy. We're at her house already and stays in her seat, relaxed.
"I like them, they're good, really…calming and poetic in a way," she says as soon as I put the car in park.
"Yeah I had that thought too after I listened to a few songs, but since I've had this cd for a while and you seem to like them, you wanna borrow it?"
"No, I couldn't." she says as though I'm giving her twenty dollars.
"I insist, please. And then you can tell me if you like them completely since you only got a sample and you can tell me what's your favorite song," I say smiling.
"Alright, thank you again. Oh and I forgot…if you want to talk some more about…what we were talking about before here's my number," she says as she tears a small piece of paper out of her notebook. I blush since this is kind of implies that she wants to talk with me more, possibly..hopefully. "You know, since real conversations are rare," she continues.
"Thanks," I say sincerely.
"Sure thing, call if you can tear yourself away from the books," she says with another smirk and slight wink to top it off. Oh Jesus Christ, be still my heart. I just smile back unable to speak. She gets out of the car and heads in, again I wait for her to get inside until I drive off. By the time I'm home I've got a goofy grin attached to my face. I put her phone number next to the phone, fall on my bed, pick up my book that slept snuggled in my blankets and tried to calm down. An hour later my eyes get tired, I fall asleep and dream about driving in my car with Jessie. I wake up, still happy and realize it's time for dinner. I go downstairs, cook myself a meal and since there doesn't seem to be anyone home as usual I thank some higher being, if there is one for granting me the ability to be a natural chef. After I finish and wash everything off I realize that's one of the reasons I didn't eat in the past. No one seemed to care if I starved to death in this house…on one's here. I guess it's just become second nature for me to be alone. Once I realize this..I want to share it with someone and who better than Jessie? I walk slowly up to my room thinking about ways to say hi to Jessie. In a few short minutes were talking and she sounds happy I called. I ask her how she's doing, she says better now that I've called and knows I don't want to talk about what happened last night on Friends she jokes. Why is this rare I wonder, but I'm too happy to answer my question so we talk until her dad tells her he needs to use the phone. We say goodnight and take a few more minutes to get off the phone since I hate hanging up first, which leads to some laughs and having to explain to Jessie my odd OCD. She laughs some more and finally hangs up, leaving me to hang up after, more content than before to have found someone to call, a friend to ask how they're doing and know they want to know how you're doing as well.
