Hi everyone! Sorry bout the update, it took me a while to finish. I've been kinda stressed with projects and school and all th rest of the lnyb so forgive meeeee

Disclaimer: yep I think everyone knows I don't own FFX-2

Hope you enjoy, tell me what you think )


If there's no hope left, why fight?

I was, as you could say, an empty shell, a walking nothing. I felt as though my heart had literally been torn out of my chest. I just couldn't figure out why things were as they were, how destiny could change one's fate in a matter of minutes, but more importantly what had driven Paine to take this course of action. I didn't understand anything, what had I done for her to leave me like that? I thought she was happy by my side……obviously not. I hoped it was just some big misunderstanding, although… it felt too painful to be just a misunderstanding.

I stood at the end of the Highbridge contemplating the beautiful city that I had grown up in, the colourful floors carpeting every street, the majestic buildings towering up above me, the mysterious temple where so many secrets had been kept. Almost every corner of Bevelle held memories of mine, some good, some bad. I gazed over the city again for the last time and turned my back to it, heading for the first glittering trees of Macalania woods. I hadn't packed anything; I carried only what I had on me at the time of… the talk… so basically what I was wearing. The only other thing I held was my dual edged staff, my faithful weapon that had helped me fight several battles.

I looked back towards Bevelle, but stopped in mid movement, staring instead at the small bush next to the road. No Baralai, forget it, forget Bevelle, forget all of your memories, and forget all of your life because your life walked out of your office a few hours earlier. So what does one do when they forget their life? Well that's up to you…

A sinister grin spread over my face as I started marching slowly towards the Calm Lands, walking like a machina, machina very much like the ones that Gippal and Rikku produce in Djose temple. A pang of sadness and guilt racked through me as I thought of my friends, sadness because I would not see them again, guilt because I haven't told them of my plan. However I very much doubted that they would want a shell in the place of their friend, so maybe it was for the best. Gippal, Rikku, Yuna, that young man Tidus, Nooj, Leblanc… They were the people that have always helped me through thick and thin, no matter the consequences, people I know I can depend on for anything. I sighed, knowing that no one would ever be able to help me through this; it is a battle that is already lost. As lost as a certain ruby eyed warrior.

I shook my head to try and get rid of my thoughts, especially the ones about… her. Just concentrate on your plan I stopped suddenly. Wait, I don't even have a plan. Why do I keep on talking about a plan when I don't even have one? I want to forget my life but I don't know how to, maybe I'll go to see Clasko, cause a Chocobo stampede and get in the way. Not very dignified but at least I have a plan now… Great I'm talking with myself, planning the end of my life. What could be better than this? Damn! I'm doing it again! Shut up! …

I sighed as I continued staring at the bush on the side of the road. I snapped out of my reverie and started towards the Calm Lands. Who knows? Maybe I'll get inspiration and make up a better plan… oh cred, here I go again. Ok focus, clear your mind… Since when do I do yoga? Alright, that's it, I'm definitely going crazy.

My interior monologue continued all through my journey to the Calm Lands. It only took a few minutes to reach the grassy ledge that indicated the beginning of the huge plain, but to me it seemed like hours.

I continued my trek towards the hover that belonged to the new business company by the name of Argent.

"Good afternoon Sir. Could I help with anything? A few tickets for the Lupine Dash? Or perhaps a ride to Mt. Gagazet?" A chubby man dressed in a formal looking suit stepped out from in front of the hover.

"No thank you, I will walk, I'm meeting up with someone" I answered politely.

The chubby man was about to answer when he noticed who he was talking to.

"P-Praetor Baralai! What an honour it is, yes Sir! I definitely didn't expect someone such as yourself to be down in the Calm Lands. May I be curious and ask what your business is on this sunny afternoon?"

"You may, but I wouldn't be so sure of recieving an answer. As I said before I am meeting up with someone. That is enough for you to know if your curiosity reaches such a high point." I replied calmly. I learned from the first of my days as Praetor to never reveal much information to strangers, however I had a feeling that if I didn't say something to this man he would not stop pestering me.

"O-oh, my apologies, Sir. I did not mean to be nosy"

Riiiight. I tried so very hard not to roll my eyes at the man's clearer than crystal, shameless lie.

"I must continue, good afternoon."

"Good afternoon Sir, if you need anything, Sir, Mr. Tispu is here at your service."

I nodded at the man and turned my back to him, ready to continue my journey to Clasko's… Chocobo Farm, trying not to laugh at the man's name. Mr. Tispu… Translated into Spiran it meant Mr. Dumbo. I smirked at the man's misfortune. What kind of parent would have named their child Dumbo? I wondered to myself.

I continued chuckling to myself while I made my way towards the other side of the great plain streched out before me.

My journey was, all in all, boring. Lonely, calm, silent... pretty much like me, at this moment that is. Other than an occasional battle with random fiends, which I fended off with my staff, there was nothing much to point out.

That is until I met an unusually strong fiend for its kind.

A black chimera approached me cautiously at first but slowly it started to gain more and more speed till it was charging directly at me.
Due to the fiend's inability to change direction I avoided its tackle swiftly and turned to face it. The creature had stopped and was also turning to face its prey. I stood my ground, my staff held in front of me, waiting for the chimera to attack me first. Suddenly it leaned forward, its serpent tail about to strike me with a magic spell but it halted.
Two machina stepped out from behind the huge fiend and positioned themselves on either side of the rearing monster. What surprised me the most was that they were on fire, burning like the heart of a bomb. I remembered my training from the Crimson Squad and started powering up a lightning spell directed at both machina.
As I was charging my magic, the chimera took advantage of my distraction and charged at me again. I noticed the fiend's intentions but I couldn't move without breaking my concentration on the spell. It was coming closer and closer. When it was only a few yards away I finished my spell and shouted "Thundaga" at the burning machina and rolled out of the chimera's path to avoid injury. I didn't move fast enough, the fiend caught my side with its horns and sent me flying several feet away.
I landed on my back with a huge thud, managing to leave my arm underneath as I fell, twisting my wrist in the process. I ignored the pain shooting through my wrist and looked at the machina to see if I had eliminated them. To my dispair they hadn't and were charging at me, metal arms tipped with dangerous looking spikes aimed straight at me. I stood up with difficulty and muttered a few words under my breath, my rod pointing towards the chimera. I smirked as I saw that my spell had worked; the chimera was paralysed, it couldn't move.
I focused my attention on the machina. I held my staff in the middle, sank down onto one knee and waited for my burning enemies to reach me. Their arms caught each side of the staf and when the moment was right I stood up and turned around sharply, sending the machina flying, just as I had moments before. As they stood in a messy heap of scrap metal, oil and flames, I started muttering a complex formula to a combined spell, one I hoped would get rid of these extremely strong fiends once and for all.

I hit them with a mixed lightning and ice spell, hoping the combination would leave them shocked to the core and frozen like statues.

Their metal bodies screeched and clanked as they tried to throw off my magic spell, but they were unsuccessful, they fell apart piece by piece.

I leaned on my rod for support, my back felt as though it had a thousand needles coursing through it and my wrist was aching painfully. "I'm not so sure I just twisted it" I muttered to no one in particular.

I had completely forgotten about the chimera that I had petrified earlier. A big mistake. My spell had worn off and the furious beast was preparing a huge meteor in one of its massive paws. I felt the heat behind me and turned my head a little. Too late... The ball of flame impacted on my already crushed back and threw me forwards onto the grass. My vision blurred and I could only just make out the silhouette of the angry fiend walking towards me. Suddenly it stopped in its tracks, looked up at something I couldn't see and ran off.
Something told me I was in deep trouble, even deeper than being crushed by a chimera. A shiver went down my spine as I tried to stay conscious. From far off I could hear somebody shouting, something like "look out!" before finally falling unconscious.

I woke up somwhere dark, damp and awfully smelly; I opened my eyes to find a big yellow face, two centimetres away from mine, covered in feathers. A chocobo? I blinked slowly so as not to startle the big bird and groped around on the wall behind me to pull myself up.

Wait a moment... wall? I was in the middle of the Calm Lands, there are no walls in the middle of the plain. I tried sitting up but a wave of pain surged through my spine. I held in a string of words that shoudn't be heard by innocent ears and leaned back on the wall. The chocobo was still looking at me but it had sat down beside me, something I was grateful for actually. It's not very pleasant to have a huge beak in your face. I turned to look back and the bird let out a little contented chirp and ruffled its crest. I remember someone telling me that these intelligent birds could do small errands if asked nicely. I guess I could give it a shot

"Um... Hello there" I greeted the animal; I must admit I felt rather stupid talking to a bird... "Do you think you could do me a favour?"

The yellow fowl tilted its head. I took that as a yes. "Could you find me a potion or a remedy please?"

Its big chocolate eyes shined and in one swift movement it stood up and trotted off. I watched it until it was out of sight, then turned to gaze at my surroundings. There wasn't much, there was a great cliff behind and in front of me, a thin path leading off to my left and to my right... were the Calm Lands! My mind jumped into gear, I was somewhere near the entrance to the hidden temple, the Remiem Temple.

Just then the chocobo came trotting back, a bottle hanging from its beak. I smiled gratefully at the bird and drank the remedy down in one gulp. It sat back down next to me and I patted its neck.

"You know, you saved me...I am truly grateful. You're the one that brought me here didn't you?" The bird nodded. So they really do understand us. "I think I'm going to give you a name...How about Cyjeuin? It means saviour in albhed." The bird cooed a little and closed its eyes in happiness. "I'm glad you like it."
I sat there a while pondering my actions. I could've let myself be killed by the fiends, yet I fought them off. Those crazy machina could've taken me down if I hadn't defended myself, as could the chimera... but I still fought. Why? I think I know why... Somwhere deep deep down in my heart, there's a shimmer of hope still burning, still keeping me going... Maybe I can get through this... I still have Gippal and Nooj, our friendship bonds could never be broken. Maybe, just maybe I can get though this... but I'll need time... a lot of time...

A sudden wave of tiredness came over me. My back was cured, as was my wrist, so I settled down to sleep. My newest friend, Cyjeuin, shifted a little and cuddled up to me. I smiled and lay down on his soft feathers. Cyjeuin cooed and covered me up with his wing. I fell asleep almost immediately, probably thanks to the wonderful pillow I had.

That day I almost died. The strange thing is that I had wanted to die, but somewhere in my heart, a flicker of hope told me to keep holding on.