After Usopp died, Luffy withdrew. He withdrew from the sea, from fighting, from the crew, and even from himself until the only one that could get near him without Luffy suddenly erupting into hysteric tears was Zoro, who would just sit next to his captain in Nami's quarters, not speaking, not moving but just being in pain together. Sure, Zoro had only lost one person whom he loved and Luffy two, but the pain was the same, just on newer wounds.

They went on, sailing lifelessly until they came to the next island. Everyone was weary, and everyone was depressed, so when they landed on the next island, uninhabited by everything but a scattering of animals, they anchored their ship and stayed there for almost a year, just paying their respects to the three people who had been taken from them, trying to cope, trying to get better. Sure, they started heading towards getting over it, but as their recent stream of bad luck suggested, disaster wasn't over yet, it was still seeking them out one by one.

One week before they were planning to leave, that disaster caught them, biting at their heels with the ferocity of a rabid dog. It struck in the form of sickness, attacking the one officially the eldest, officially the nearest to death, officially the most necessary of them all.

Seven measly days before they were set to leave, a sickness known only to that island struck the only one capable of healing it. Chopper was down for the count.

He had been walking with Franky, laughing and crying about Usopp's life and how he had touched each of them, when suddenly he fell over, coughing, convulsing, and when Franky touched his forehead, he was burning up. It took four days until his fever went down, and when Chopper was coherent and strong enough to get out of bed and work on an antidote he found out something that just further pushed their fragile bond towards breaking point.

There was no cure.

The sickness came from a plant, as the animals told him, and it only affected the cells of animals, most often killing them with the first strike. If one survived the initial attack then it was in their cells. It could be treated, but only with the flower freshly cut.

It came down to the little doctor either choosing to go with his Nakama and die within days or staying on the island and treating his illness for as long as he could last but being alone in the meantime.

After days of arguing it, with Chopper being all for trying to grow the plants on the ship and treat himself while remaining with everyone else and the rest of the crew saying that he shouldn't risk it and stay on the island and live, they had gotten nowhere, and had just started testing the patience and fragile emotions of the crew. There was seldom someone that wasn't crying with all the stress everyone was under.

Finally, it got too much for even Luffy. He had heard everything, but stayed in grieving, huddled in Nami's chart room, clutching his head and only responding to Zoro by telling him to make it stop. However, by the time that everyone was done with everything, and the arguments barely lasted a minute without someone loosing it and screaming and crying, he was drawn out of his shell.

He came out on deck, straw hat hanging around his neck, red vest hanging on a thin, but still as strong frame, eyes shadowed with signs of sleep deprivation, and mouth drawn in a tight line. All arguments stopped as Luffy moved across the deck with a purpose, stopping in front of an angry but sniffling Chopper. He paused, staring his doctor in the eyes for a minute, as everyone watched. Finally, Chopper reached up to the rim of his hat with two shaking hooves, pulling it down over his eyes as a sob tore from his throat.

"By staying here… it'll be like… loosing everyone at once," he muttered, voice broken with sobs and hiccups. His small shoulders shook as he tried his best to suppress the harsh sobs, and Luffy knelt down, throwing his arms around the small reindeer and burying his face into Chopper's furry shoulder, tears soaking the doctor's fur as they cried together, embracing each other and trying to find solace in the company and the time they had left.

"Please," Luffy whispered, voice hoarse and somber, two things that Chopper had never heard before in his captain's tone. "Please, please, please don't… don't make me go through this again…" he shifted slightly, burrowing further into Chopper's fur. "It… its selfish, I know… but… please don't make me watch someone else I love die… please just live… because as long as you live… as long as you live there's hope, right?"

Chopper moved his hooves against Luffy's shoulders, pushing the elder boy back until he could see Luffy's tear-stained face and the pure agony and tiredness etched into his features, both maturing and aging him by leaps and bounds in such a short time. It had been hard on all of them, but those who took the biggest fall had been Luffy and Zoro, and no one could blame them.

"I'll stay," Chopper muttered, this time burying his face into Luffy's chest, sobs wracking his body again and making his high voice waver. "I'll stay, I'll write, and I'll find a cure and sail with you again someday. I promise!"

And for the rest of that night the five remaining original Straw Hats sat and talked, sometimes crying, mostly drinking, and seldom laughing. It wasn't a happy farewell party, but it was as close to happiness as they could get.

The next morning, when the Thousand Sunny finally pulled up anchor and sailed away from the island, Chopper stood and waved until long after he couldn't see the ship, tears falling down his face, soaking his fur as he fought to keep a forced smile on his face. He didn't have to see to know that Franky and Luffy were both standing there, crying and waving with all their strength, shouting goodbyes long after they knew that Chopper couldn't hear them. He didn't have to see them to know that Zoro and Robin were standing next to them, watching the island fade into the distance with sad smiled on their faces, making sure that the two idiots in between them didn't fall into the ocean.

Luffy had made a promise to come back to the island and visit Chopper, and he did. He came to visit almost one year later, but by then it was too late. By then the sickness had taken hold and completely destroyed over half of the animal population, including Chopper. But from what they could gather through the animal's charades and Chopper's notes, the little reindeer hadn't thought about his own sickness and instead treated the others, eventually wasting away even as he was treating them.

There were no tears shed at this farewell, there were only flowers placed on a makeshift grave, there were only four shadows falling on the ground as they said goodbye to the fourth person to leave them.

As horrible as it was, they were starting to understand the fragility of life on the seas.

----------------

I stood, watching as they sailed away, flanked by the other animals on the island, crying and shivering from the fever I had not yet recovered from. Even after they had disappeared I stood there, waving until I couldn't feel my arm, knowing that even if they couldn't see me anymore, they still knew that I was standing here, waving them off, making sure that as far as I knew they had left unscathed, and as far as they knew I was still standing. Far into the afternoon I stood there, not caring that I had long since sunk to my knees. By nightfall, I just fell asleep where I had stood all day, kept warm by those that had accompanied me throughout the day.

The next morning I spent a good hour just staring out at the sea, watching as the waves washed up on the beach, missing the feel of a deck beneath my hooves and the absence of the gentle rocking motion that was just so soothing on a hard day.

Deep down, I knew that I would never be able to feel that way again. I was old, for a reindeer, and now that I was sick, it shortened my life span drastically. I knew Luffy would keep his promise, I knew he would come back to the island some day in order to visit… I just knew that I wouldn't last long enough to see him again.

The days became routine.

I would get up, walk down to the beach, and watch the waves for a while, thinking about our adventures together, thinking about the laughter and the tears, and thinking about how much I was missing everyone. After about an hour I would turn, leaving the sea at my back, and I would start treating the symptoms of the fevers and other sicknesses the disease of the flower inflicted. After treating every animal and talking with them for a while, I would go and try and work on a cure, hitting dead ends about every day. I just didn't have enough equipment with me.

Every day it became harder and harder to pull myself away from the ocean, and every day it became more and more of a challenge to drag myself out of bed. I had no time to take care of myself, because I had to work on producing mass quantities of medicine that would help ease the fevers. I had no time to worry about myself… but that didn't mean that I couldn't worry about Luffy and the others. They were amazing. I still have no idea how they managed to treat themselves before I joined the crew. Trouble always seemed to sniff them out, and normally that meant getting stabbed through the stomach or chest, almost getting a limb whacked off, or just getting whacked in the head a bunch. I wasn't worried about sickness, since everyone on board was amazing in that regard. None of them ever got sick… ever.

But still, every day I could feel more and more strength leaving me. My fur started graying and hanging in lifeless clumps, my vision became blurry and whenever I passed by a pool of water I saw the cloudy beginning of cataracts. It took longer and longer to get to the ocean every morning, and pretty soon I could feel my joints creaking and swelling up.

I had been prepared for this back on Drum Island, but not on that godforsaken island. I didn't have Dr. Kureha's secrets; I only had the native flowers and what little equipment I had kept from the Sunny to keep me alive. Frankly, it wasn't enough.

The sun rose on that fateful day that I couldn't even find the strength to get out of bed, and some inner timer seemed to go off, warning me that my time was close. From the inner reaches of the flat island, you can't see the ocean, and even though I was going blind, could barely move my joints, and had a fever enough to incapacitate a young human, I just wanted to see the ocean one last time.

I've seen pets die in the village I grew up in. I know how it goes, and even though I'm partially human, that didn't change anything. I managed one last transformation into running point, and managed to stumble out of my little hut, various concerned patients and friends gathering around to try and stop me, to try and make sure that I stayed alive just a little longer.

But routine was routine, and by the time I dragged myself to the edge of our little village, they knew that I was determined, even though my hind legs were already starting to fail. By the time I had reached the path leading to the sea, I was pulling myself along with my front legs, hindquarters no longer able to support my weight. Tears were running down my face, soaking my fur as much as my sweat was. I only managed a couple more feet before my front legs gave out and I collapsed in one twisted, sobbing, heap of fur.

I needed to see the ocean one last time.

I needed to feel the spray of the water.

I needed to remember the salty smell of the sea.

I needed to look to the horizon, seeing if Luffy's ship was coming back.

It was stupid to think they would come back, but every time I saw the ocean, it filled me with strength, with hope, and I just needed to feel that one last time.

My eyes slid shut, and I remember cursing my weakness, cursing my inability to drag myself as far as the sea.

A moment later, I realized I was moving.

During my lapse of consciousness, the animals I had been watching over had found a giant palm leaf and had managed to get me onto it, using their combined strength to start to drag me further and further down the path.

Not many of them were in better shape, but somehow they managed, and as we emerged from the jungle and the sea breeze hit me, I regained a little of my strength and managed t get to my feet, stumbling off the leaf and into the surf, collapsing again and letting the gentle waves lap against my fur as I lay there, vision blurred with my failing strength and the glare of the sun against the waves.

The sea, so vast, so full of life, so ferocious, and so calm. It smelled of salt and water… it smelled of something i alive /i . And as I lay there in the surf, feeling the rest of my strength fade away with each shuddering breath, I smiled through my tears, raising my head a little to look out towards the cliffs I had last seen the Thousand Sunny. There, perched on top of the rocks was the small pirate flag I had made that day. It had the Jolly Roger, but underneath it were sakura blossoms, a hoof-print, and a straw hat.

My eyes filled with tears, spilling the salty water into the surf, adding to the vastness of the ocean before me.

I tilted my head back and used the last of my strength to yell out, voice thick with tears.

"AAAHHH! I'M A PIRATE! A GREAT DOCTOR! SANJI, USOPP, NAMI, LUFFY, ROBIN, FRANKY, ZORO! I WON'T GIVE UP!!!"

And with one final choked sob, I allowed my head to fall into the waves lapping at my fur; a smile crossing my face as darkness finally overtook my vision.

No one could say that I didn't die happy.

As the darkness started to fade away, I felt the sun warming my fur, the aches and pains in my joints dissolving to be replaced with quivering energy. I could almost feel my fur bristle with the energy suddenly lining my muscles, and every ounce of sickness faded away. With a happy sigh, I inhaled the scent of oranges, the sea, and familiar cooking. They were all scents that I missed, and scents that I never thought I would smell again. A giggle from behind me caused my eyes to snap open as I panicked, jumping up and hiding behind the mast… or… at least trying to. I stared with wide eyes at the figure partially obscured by the clouds around us, smiling widely at me in a welcoming gesture. I blinked, relaxing slightly as I stared at that figure. I could almost hear the hum of its life in my ears, and recognized it immediately, my eyes filling up with tears as I stared, just stared.

"M-Merry," I murmured, finally giving into my emotions and sobbing, embracing the mast like a lost lover. "ITS MERRY!" I shouted, burying my face into the wood, tears soaking my fur again as I sobbed, a smile almost painfully stretching my face. "ITS REALLY MERRY!"

There was a laugh behind me that caused my ears to prick and my body to whirl around, taking in the smiling figure of the sharpshooter before launching myself into his arms, laughing and crying as he caught me, embraced me, and then set me down, allowing me to run around the ship, taking in every little detail and recalling all the stories, all the memories associated with it.

The galley door swung open and there was Sanji, leaning against the door frame with a towel slung over his shoulder, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a cigarette hanging between his lips. There was Nami just laying there, tanning on the deck, raising a lazy arm to push up her sunglasses and smile as I ran by, sobbing, laughing, and occasionally tripping in my haste.

They all watched, smiled and chuckles escaping them as I dashed around, finally jumping up to land on the figurehead, throwing my arms out as I closed my eyes, smile still spread across my face.

"I'M HOME!" I shouted, not caring how ridiculous I sounded, for at that moment, even though I was dead, it really was like finally coming home.