Passion
Shortly after the death of Fatso, the tension in the main hall of Castle Oblivion turned into a massive fist fight. The Jonas Brothers were slapping, Muse hid in cracks in the walls, Lincoln Park was bleeding it all out, The Plain white Ts demonstrated how much they really, really, really, didn't like someone, Mozart began slaughtering chickens (they were rooting for Bach), and it seemed as if the only band not involved in the massive scuffle was Snow Patrol. They just lay there, and Namine lay with them.
Xemnas lifted off the ground to hover above the crowd and magnified his voice magically.
"Enough!"
The bands stopped fighting and all glared at him.
"I know we kidnapped you, and shoved you all into a room with people you don't like. But for the sake of our hearts, listen to reason."
Everyone lowered their fists tentatively.
"Fatso the Piano Cat is dead. There's nothing we can do about it. What we can do is form a cohesive musical group that will allow us to defeat The Greatest Band Ever, which will allow us to storm the castle and kill heartless, which rebuilds kingdom hearts, which allows us to get our hearts back. Oh, and they kidnapped Namine. So please, help us get our hearts back, and Namine. Or at the very least, do it for Fatso."
"But I'm still-"
Marluxia hushed Namine and covered her mouth.
The bands, soloists, composers, and posers, all looked at each other crossly until one of The Beach Boys shouted,
"Well I feel so broke up, I wanna go home."
"Yeah, man, this is worse than the Sloop John B."
The other musicians nodded their agreement with the sentiments and began to walk somberly to the front door, cradling their injuries. The Organization felt defeated, and looked that way. Zexion moved his book so August Rush could put Fatso in a shoe box, and dusted off the cover.
Just as the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra was almost to the door, three dusks dragged in a teenaged boy with a satchel and a notepad. They dropped him ungraciously on the floor, and everyone froze to watch him. He stood, dusted himself off, and asked, "has anyone seen a girl named Penny? Penny lane?"
"Who are you?"
The newcomer turned to Xemnas. "Huh? Oh. I'm William Miller. Rolling Stone sent me here with Stillwater to do an article about this whole 'New Greatest Band Ever' thing."
The musicians all murmured amongst themselves and quickly set their instruments back down; all was forgiven, and The New Greatest Band Ever was formed.
Two Days Later, In The Great Divide
The YouTube Internet Orchestra readied their instruments and delivered the most hope inspiring rendition of Internet Symphony no. 1 ever heard by mortal ears. The Greatest Band Ever yawned as it wrapped up, and then freestyled a song with lyrics more wrathful than Dies Irae, longer than Devil Glitch, Faster than anything Dragonforce could hear, Louder than Manowar, sadder than Danny Boy, more intense than Metal itself, and more awesome than the entire orchestra could comprehend. They combusted spontaneously. The lead guitarist yawned again when he was done. "Kan't take it, huh?"
The Greatest Band Ever high-fived amongst themselves and were about to leave when, faintly, they heard the opening line of dueling banjos played by a single, quiet, yet powerful violin. The Lead Guitarist of The Greatest Band Ever peered into the distance to see a lone figure, dressed in a formal suit. Jascha Heifetz raised his eyes from the ground menacingly. "We wanted you to be warmed up."
The rest of The New Greatest Band Ever materialized around him, filling the canyon so it was packed even tighter than when the heartless would later raid it. Four amplified pipe organs blasted Toccata and fugue in cadence as a warm up before the main show began. The band came From Yesterday like a British Invasion, rocked about the Animals they Have Become, lamented What They'd Done, rapped about why they should Remember The Name (all this to make them Comfortably Numb), Challenged The Old Greatest Band Ever to a street race (as if they could beat a "W" head 409 inch Chevy with dual quads), made Chocolate Rain, rapped some more about butts, bibles, Eminem's exploits, and the coming Willennium, then wound up the Doomsday Clock, lit Sex on Fire, came Back in Black, unleashed a parade of bulls, made a Strawberry Swirl (and this time all the boys were men), expanded their Absolute Space just with their awesome presence, hopped on a boat (Muthaf*cka), and then phased between Destati, Via Purifico, Somnus, and an all new FF anthology song that made the most formidable musical dolmade ever.
The last note held in the air for three whole minutes before bursting into a colossal volcanic eruption. Xemnas took the nearest microphone and said, "and now for our finale. We dedicate this to Fatso, our fallen comrade."
MCR took the stage alone and sent him off just as wonderfully as Helena. As everyone bowed their heads in prayer, Fatso rose from the dead, danced around them all, joined in on one of the pipe organs, and then returned to his grave just in time for everyone to say, "amen."
When it was clear that the Organization was through, The Lead Guitarist of The Old Greatest Band Ever set down his guitar in shame and said, "wow. That was pretty cool."
The rest of his band nodded.
"Yeah, we don't have a response. You guys really did us in there. We surrender."
Xemnas' jaw dropped. "Really?"
"Hek NO!"
The Lead Guitarist summoned a baby out of thin air and drop-kicked it at the Organization, where It exploded on impact. The ensuing battle transcended three dimensions.
After the Battle
Marluxia staggered out from under some rubble, carrying Luxord over his back. Larxene was limping nearby, making her way toward Zexion's limp body to poke him with a kunai and see if he was alive. Roxas had already dusted himself off and was mourning the loss of Mikey Way with Vexen. Demyx had remained unmarred by curling into a ball and holding still, and was now bathed in the remains of the Boston Philharmonic, who had played valiantly, but ultimately succumbed to the face melting solo that the Chernabog unleashed from his living seven headed dragon bass guitar. Xaldin and Xigbar were cowering behind Yuki and Utada, who had formed a phalanx with The Wonder Girls to spearhead a JPop incursion into the column of heartless that been spawned. Meanwhile, Xehanort stood triumphantly over his arch nemesis, The Lead Guitarist of The Old Greatest Band Ever, the only remaining member.
"Where is Namine?"
Namine poked her head out from under a rock nearby.
"I'm right here."
"Well it's about time!"
Axel appeared nearby with a shell-shocked expression. "She's been here for a while, superior. We brought her here, remember?"
Xemnas blinked. "But... but there's nobody else that could have been kidnapped. Look."
He began pointing out Organization members in the settling dust. "Me, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Sa'i'x, you, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas. Thirteen. See? Everyone. So who'd they kidnap?"
Axel smacked a hand against his face as it dawned on him.
Memories in Pieces
"You got him what?"
Xaldin and Xigbar were giggling uncontrollably.
"Superior is totally wasted, Axel."
Roxas stuck his head through Axel's door to address the other three. "Heard the news?"
"Yeah, dude, superior's totally wasted."
"The other news."
They all stopped laughing.
"Superior wants all of us gathered ASAP."
They portalled to the meeting hall, where Xemnas sat, or rather swayed, in his chair.
"Now. As all of you are aware- I mean come on Larxy, you just don't cut it, okay? Okay?!"
Axel, Xigbar, and Xaldin were cracking up while Zexion glared at Xemnas. Larxene appeared confused.
"Larxy, you can't... don't take offense at this. Everyone, there aren't enough girls around here, okay? It's like a friggin' sword fight broke out at a sausage fest. I want you to meet our newest member, number fourteen."
The laughing stopped. "What?"
"Her name is Xion."
Flash Forward (To Our Surprise)
"Fourteen!?" Xemnas stared incredulously at Axel.
Axel nodded.
"Why don't I remember any of this?"
The rest of the Organization had assembled by now, along with the remnants of The New Greatest Band Ever.
"You were pretty wasted, superior."
Xemnas turned back to The Lead Guitarist. "Alright then. Where is Xion?"
The Lead Guitarist waved his hand, causing a cage to appear. Xion sat in it, looking rather bored.
They freed her apologetically and turned back to The Lead Guitarist. "Well... wanna join our band?"
He nodded solemnly. "Thanks."
