Finally, an update. A whole month from my last one. I feel so slack...beware the terrible powers of procrastination. And English assignments. But mostly just procrastination.

Warnings: Minor language, the contemplation of ways a butter knife should not be used, food abuse, Tyson-induced chaos, and two mighty planks.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. That honour belongs to a highly creative Japanese guy whose name I can never remember...be assured though, it's not me. Bleugh.

Side notes: No major pairing moments, this is just me trying to get back on track after being bitten by procrastination and a thorough lack of creativity. A little humour and Ray spacing out are all I have for you today...

Enjoy what you can. Until you finish reading this chapter, I bid you adieu.


Commando was interesting. I have about ten million mozzie bites, and they are driving me nuts! They itch! And Spencer likes Robert...

It's about seven a.m. in the morning (well, of course it's morning, it's a.m.!), and there is currently a mad scramble to get dressed and ready for breakfast...just not in our cabin. We're all ready except for Claude who's in the shower at the moment, but I think he's nearly finished, so really, we are all ready. I had a shower last night, because there was no way in hell I was going to bed all muddy. Call me picky, but cleanliness is very important in maintaining hygiene. I feel so smart right now. I also feel like I am spacing out...

"RAY!" Yes, I was spacing out, as Johnny has just reminded me. Don't ask me why Johnny is here. I think he's visiting Robert. Michael is also here. Again, don't ask me why; there is not one American sleeping in our cabin. Although, I think he and Johnny got kicked out of their cabin when they woke everyone else up in a very unpleasant way. I don't know what was so unpleasant about it, but Steve's still ranting, so it was probably pretty bad. But I think that might be why they are in our cabin. I'm not sure; my brain doesn't really switch on until after breakfast. Before then, I ramble and repeat myself. Much like I'm doing now.

"Earth to the tiger; we're leaving." I must have spaced out, again. How embarrassing. At least Bryan was nice enough to wait for me...I wonder if he's feeling well? Nice isn't really a word generally associated with him, or any of the Russians, so I'm a little concerned. I'm also definitely not spacing out again, since I've managed to get up and begin the walk to the dining hall. That makes me sound like I'm drunk...

Why did no one tell me breakfast was a synonym for chaos? Mainly Tyson-induced chaos, but chaos all the same. Tyson's table is not taking well to his apparent lack of table manners. Tala is threatening him with a butter knife. I never knew butter knives could be so scary. Garland's giving our illustrious world champ the 'you've-got-until-the-count-of-three' look...time up. He's forcibly removed Tyson's plate from the premises. As in, through the (open) window. Tyson is now intent on rescuing his plate. It's official. He's an idiot.

And don't get me started on the imps. For some extremely strange reason, Kevin decided it would be a good idea to deprive Lee of coffee after his entire cabin was woken up early by Johnny and Michael. Did I mention Steve is still ranting about it? It's been over an hour...At any rate, Lee is very, very grumpy in the morning without his coffee. Seriously, he shoved Ming-Ming out of the way so he could get to the coffee machine. Now, I'm not her biggest fan, but it's rude to hit, shove or otherwise physically mistreat a woman. Again, I feel smart. At least my table is almost normal. We're all eating breakfast and not throwing it around the room (Ming-Ming and Hilary haven't quite had that food fight yet, but they will soon if Daichi keeps going the way he is...He and Ian are throwing food at the two to make it seem like the other girl threw it), nor are we stealing people's coffee. In fact, I'd say we're about the most normal table in the room. Even if Miguel is a really slow eater. It's taken him fifteen minutes to eat his toast, and that was only one slice. Even Robert, the other champion of slow eaters, finished before him.

"Right everyone, listen up." It's that blonde lady, Lyndal. "Since this is camp, you will be doing activities. We'll split you up into groups and assign each group some supervisors and instructors. Yes, you can try to get the supervisors to take part in the activities. We'll have three groups; two cabins will go together in one group. The lists are posted on the noticeboard; you've got half an hour until we begin the first activity."

Half an hour...that would make it nine when we start the activity. I wonder which cabin we're joining up with? Robert and Claude just went to check it out. I hope it's not the girls. I'm sure I couldn't put up with Ming-Ming and Hilary for the whole day. I also hope it's not Michael and Johnny's cabin, because Steve only just stopped ranting now, and Lee still looks annoyed about his coffee. Aaron's the only sane one in there. Nor do I want to be paired with the imps. Life would not be worth living if that happened. Well, maybe it's not quite that bad, but it's getting close.

"We're with Kai, Tala and that lot." Claude doesn't look too happy with his announcement. I have to admit, I'm not too thrilled either. Not that I dislike any of the individuals in that cabin, but it means we'll be subject to Tyson-induced chaos all bloody day. Life is not fair. "We've got Hiro, Lyndal, Kiaya and Mr. D for supervisors and instructors." Well, that's not so bad. Maybe Hiro can curb Tyson a little. Yeah, self, and maybe pigs will fly.

It looks like 'Kai, Tala and that lot' have figured out that they're supposed to be in a group with us, as Tyson and Max are waving enthusiastically at us right now. Tala still has that butter knife ready to castrate Tyson with if he's not too careful, while the rest just look resigned. I hope it's to Tyson's behaviour and not having to be in a group with us. Wow, they look like right idiots now, still waving even though not one of us has made a move to wave back. I guess I'll put them out of their misery.

"What the hell was that for?" Shut up Spencer, I know what I'm doing.

"They won't stop unless you wave back. I'm just ending everyone's misery." Trust me, being on a team with them for however long it was, I do actually know this stuff. Claude and Miguel seem to recognise this fact, as they're completely ignoring me to leave the table and...oh my, Miguel finally finished breakfast! We don't have to wait at the table anymore!

I really need to stop listening to Mariah. The drama is invading my brain.


Well, we finally made it to our first activity, which is, and I quote, 'Alpine Rescue'. From what I can gather, it involves putting someone light in a metal stretcher (which really looks more like half a coffin) and trying to get around various obstacles while keeping them in the stretcher. We have to stay on the logs, and we have two planks we can manipulate to help us. Of course, we all have to wear safety helmets and harnesses for when we get to the flying fox bit. What I want to know is how we're supposed to transport a person in a stretcher via flying fox. That could be awkward. Apparently it's a race against another group, some random people who were brought here by their instructors. Yeah, fun. At least they're not crazy fans or anything. Actually, from the lack of reaction, I suspect they're not fans at all. Maybe they're cricket fans. That sport really confuses me. Especially since China doesn't play it.

"Alright Kai, you're the lightest, hop in the stretcher already." Good luck with that, Tala. Convincing Kai to play victim will not be easy.

"No. Max is lighter." See?

"No Kai, Max grew. You're lighter now." Oh no, there goes all our hope. Tyson has officially doomed us. Kai definitely won't do it now.

"Fine." Wait...what? Since when did Kai agree with Tyson? I feel so out of whack. Icky mental images are coming back. I blame Max, who's currently winking like he has the eyelash from hell stuck in his eye. Note to self: never hang around a drunk Max ever, ever again. It is a scarring experience.

Alright, back to reality, and Kai's hopped in the stretcher, looking mighty uncomfortable. By unanimous (and silent) vote, Bryan and Spencer have been appointed stretcher carriers. The rest of us are going to have to pretend we have brains to try and make this work. Our first challenge; trying to haul a stretcher over odd piles of cemented tires. Oh yeah, those planks are gonna be real handy. Garland, Robert and Tala have been officially dubbed the brains trust, Miguel and Claude get to be plank-carriers, and I am officially the Tyson and Max entertainer. Brooklyn is our correspondent with nature, I guess, since all he's doing right now is bird watching. Oh, and he stopped Claude from crushing an ant.

Okay, well, thanks to our diligent plank-haulers, we just made it past the cement-tyre-stack things, and now we're onto a set of logs that get wider and wider apart. Damn, whoever made this didn't try to make it easy for us. Claude and Miguel are going to be extremely busy, I can tell. If they can keep their balance, that is. I'm not having a problem, but Tyson and Max have fallen off the logs, a few times now. Spencer keeps wobbling dangerously, which in turn jolts Kai around, who then gets extremely cranky and starts scolding. Robert's not faring so well either, though he's managed not to fall off yet. The rest are doing alright, though Bryan keeps getting unbalanced when Spencer tugs on the stretcher. One thing about the logs, they're thinner when they're closer together.

Alright, we made it past those logs without incident, except for Kiaya cacking herself laughing at Tyson and Max's expense. Not that I mind very much, but I think they do. Our next challenge involves more tyre stacks, and then wobbly logs.

"Hey, those logs wobble." Wow, Tyson, how very astute you are. May you receive a medal for your powers of observation.

"Are you alright, Ray? You're mumbling." Shit, shit, crap, shit. I just said that out loud. Ah well, I don't think Tyson heard, and it made Bryan laugh. And Tala, Spencer, Garland, Miguel and Claude.

"Yeah Tyson, I'm fine. I was just saying, we might need people to stand at the end of those logs to keep them level for the stretcher-bearers, when we get to them." Praise be to me, the genius. Or not, since anyone could have figured that out, but a guy can dream, right? Well, apparently the others thought I was right, because Tyson and Max are finally making themselves useful by standing at the ends of the wobbly logs while the rest of us follow Bryan and Spencer, Kai suspended between them in the half-coffin thing.

I really, really don't like Australian summers. Way too hot. I am sweating like I've just run a marathon, and the flies. Oh, the flies. They're enough to drive a person insane. And they won't. Go. Away. Grr. Random rambling rant aside, we made it past the wobbly logs. Barely. And now we have to get past a log with a tyre suspended from a frame in the middle. Claude and Miguel really are getting a good workout. Those planks are the most important members of the team at the moment, even though we keep treading them into the dust. And mud, since it rained recently. The planks have been placed beside the log so that we can get around the tyre, and we're playing a miniature game of 'follow the leader' trying to get us all past the tyre. Looking around, the other team looks like they're having trouble; they just dropped their poor victim out of the stretcher. Ow. I think points are deducted for that.

"Alright people, going good so far. Now, for this bit, Kai can get out of the stretcher, and we'll send you all across the flying fox. I'll take the stretcher and the planks down for you, but you all have to go across the flying fox, which is why you're wearing your harness." Lyndal's started moving stuff already, while Kiaya's attaching the cable thingy to the harness so we don't fall off and break our necks. Kai gets to go first; the joys of being the poor injured victim, I guess. There are two cables, so Tala's all set to go after him, though we can only go one at a time. Tala's gone, then Miguel, Spencer, Max, Bryan, Tyson, me, Brooklyn, Garland, Robert and Claude, in that order. It's only a small distance, so it doesn't take too long for us all to be finished with the flying fox. Kai isn't very happy since he now has to get back in the stretcher as we try to get past...more tyre-cement-pile-thingies! The creator of this thing must have loved their tyres. Or their cement. Or both, together in a pile. However, these ones are a bit taller, so it's going to be worse if we fall. Most of us can jump the distance, while Bryan and Spencer will need the planks.

We really should consider giving those planks 'team player' awards or something. They're doing the most work out of all of us, and are completely uncomplaining. Of course, they're only inanimate objects, so it's not like they actually could complain, so...I'll just stop now. I really need to stop the chats with Mariah; the drama is spreading. Fear the invasiveness! I know I do. And oh my dearie gracious me, my mozzie bites itch, and it is so hot! Dammit! Normally I like summer, but this is insane! Especially after Japan, where it's so much milder, weather-wise. And for some reason, Japanese mozzies are more polite than the Australian ones. As in, they don't bite you in a thousand places purely to make life a misery and...shit, I'm rambling. Again.

"Dammit! Space cadet, wake up!" I think that may have been directed at me. "Ray!" Yeah, Kai was definitely talking to me. And he doesn't sound happy. What on earth have I done now?

"Hello?" We'll start small; he can't bite my head off for being polite. I hope.

"Are you aware that we're done?" Really? When did that happen? How the hell do I keep missing this stuff? I really need to stop the rambling and pay attention. Somehow I missed us navigating a tunnel and more tyre-cement-stacks to get back to our original starting point, and beating the other team who are having fun with the flying fox at the moment. Yeah, I really need to stop the rambling.


I am fully aware this is only part of the day. The next half I shall probably change to Bryan's point of view. Because I can do that. Meh.

'Alpine rescue' is another activity we did while on camp. It was actually quite fun. Nobody dropped their stretcher person, luckily. Although, those harnesses were the devil for wedgies...

I'm going to try and have the next bit up soon. I won't make promises I can't keep, but it will be quicker than the month this one took.

30 days till my birthday! Not that anyone but me really cares, but what the hell.

As always, please review and let me know how this story is developing. Feel entitled to berate me for not updating sooner if you want; I know I deserve it.