Chapter VII

"You claim I'm the one hiding something, I'm the one who's blind…I wonder."

I grip my hair tightly as I let the words run through my head. I could scream. Scream into my pillow to relieve this pressure that is building within me. Every day I become more and more irate. I can hardly stand the games my brother plays. Yet, at the same time something pulls me back. Something within me won't let me leave him alone. I keep checking on him periodically when I should be trying to distance myself. He doesn't always speak, and sometimes he takes my abuse with just a few retorts. But those few words that escape his lips are alike a bomb. A time bomb implanted into my mind, and they keep bothering me, until I explode. I feel like I'm dangerously close to exploding and I don't fully understand why.

I don't' understand my desire to visit my brother's cell. I want to find out information from him…in truth I want him to give me an excuse. He's so much like my Aniki… the one that supposedly died so long ago. How can I be sure that he was pretending...had he told the truth afterwards when he though he was on his deathbed? Had he said all those cruel things to be sure that I will kill him? Ontop of that what is the bases of my brothers distrust towards Madara? My clan's history is becoming more of a mystery. A mystery that only two people hold the key too; Itachi and Madara.

I had dreamt that I was small again, and that Itachi was the caring brother I remember. I dreamt that he held me close and whispered things to me that I cannot recollect. Why? Because I don't' want to remember, and most likely because dreams are always so vague and forgettable. This wasn't' a memory…just a dream. What is my subconscious trying to tell me? I've dreamt of Itachi many times before. I've dreamt of killing him, spilling his blood and finally getting my revenge. Never were my dreams so pleasant. I wrap my arms around myself as if trying to remember the sensation I felt in my dream. Then with a scowl I let my arms slip away. Itachi has become an obsession and I don't' believe this is good for me. He's always been an obsession, the object of my hate…but now I'm not sure what he is to me. He is pathetic and weak…yet I can't bring myself to hate him as deeply as I had before. I can't let him get to me, I need to clear my mind and rediscover my passion.

However right now I don't' want to worry, honestly I just need some time to relax. I walk onto the balcony and watch the raising sun. The orange beams bring with them new hope, and a new day. Possibly I will gain more knowledge possibly today Itachi will break, and stop playing his games.


I sit at the entrance of the hide out. Juugo is innocently picking flowers. It's amazing to think, that this boy could decide to kill in a split second. Right now I myself wish I had such mood swings, so that I could get rid of my problem. So I could finally cut Itachi down. I think about all the bad things my brother has caused. In an attempt to try and revive my hate for him. However I end up questioning it, wondering if it is true, if Madara simulated that memory. I try to think of that horrible night…yet now that I look at it from this new point of view; I have no clue what exactly happened that evening. I find a spark of anger, but it is not only for Itachi, but Madara as well. Everything that I know could be false, nothing is clear anymore. Yet I can't get Itachi to speak to tell me! Don't' I have a right to know? Does this have to do with Itachi's twisted love? His protection, his regret of not killing me along with the rest of our clan? Suigetsu walks up next to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asks rather rudely. I don't respond, he smirks. "Having trouble? Does our little Sasuke have a heart?"

"Shut up," I say really not wanting to deal with this childishness.

"You know," Suigetsu's face turns serious for a while. "You're parents are dead..every figure of authority is gone in our life," He gives me a toothy grin, "You don't have to do what they think is 'right' anymore."

With that said he gets up and walks over to Juugo. I watch the two boys interact. Suigetsu acts arrogant and distant, seemingly uncaring. However Juugo's eye brightened up when the water boy approached him. They still shine, even as the flowers he's offering the smaller boy are slapped out of his hands. I frown at Suigetsu cruelty towards the gentle boy, but then I spot the little carved fish still tied to the sword on his back; I find myself smiling.


Itachi's eyes are closed, and he doesn't even bother to look at me. "Tell me damnit!" I yell kicking him. "Why are you saying you're protecting me? I don't' need your protection!" Itachi opens his eyes.

"I am not Madara…I am not as twisted as him."

"I'm sure he's more sane then you are. At least he doesn't lust after his younger brother.

Itachi smirks, "I would not state that as a fact," Itachi says slyly.

"Stop playing Itachi," I say grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling hard. Some of the strands come loose, but it's not a large amount. Itachi stays calm, and he doesn't wince. His eyes look at me, and even though they are empty they hold an odd beauty. Disturbed by my own thoughts I release my brother. My hand begins to shake, but I control myself. I will not show weakness in front of Itachi.

"Madara is looking for me, maybe for us. We have a time limit Itachi, and there's no room for you stupidity!" I tell Itachi. Yet even though I'm the one incharge..I find myself falling. Every time I look at Itachi I see my aniki. The kind brother who carried me on his back, who spent time with me. The one I loved…the one who's attention and approval I craved as much as my father's.

"You still hold that one piece of innocents. I won't kill that as well," Itachi says softly. I'm angered by his statement, which seems to belittle me.

"You've killed everything and everyone, don't show mercy now!" I spit out at him. Itachi doesn't respond. Hate boils within my veins, yet I pity the man in front of me. He's dirty, and shackled. Though he acts confident he looks pathetic. I smirk a little to myself, trying to cover up the sympathy.

Itachi's eyes look hopeless, and hold an emptiness that cannot be blamed on his blindness. I admire the despair within them, have I finally broken him? Am I finally affecting him with my words? Does his soul hurt as much as the bruises all over his body?

"I'll show you mercy if no one else," Itachi mutters out. I study him, his pale skin flawed, his perfection disappearing with each day. I should enjoy the sight..but then why does it seem like a tragedy? I look away not wanting to deal with my conflicting emotions. I glance at the door contemplating leaving for the day, but a part of me tells me to stay. It tells me it would be weak of me to leave. No, instead I must handle these unwanted feelings. I find myself sitting down next to Itachi, though I still avert my eyes.

"What's happened to you?" I question in slight aggravation.

"I've become tired, Sasuke," Itachi says plainly. "Tired of being part of this …violent race of humans.."

"You mean the Uchiha?" I question with anger. How dare he insult our family. He shakes his head, but gives me no words. "So you do regret your sin?" I laugh.

"Would that please you?" he questions, I become still. "I regret nothing..Regret will not solve your past actions, so then what is the point?" He says logically. I finally look at my brother. I really look at him. I gaze into his blind, hopeless empty eyes. They have died…all the lies have died away…and now there's nothing but the want to protect me. Protect me from the cold world that he forced me to enter much too early. I shake my head violently, such thoughts are absurd!

I look at Itachi's bruised an battered skin. His arms are blue and purple, and dirt clings to him. His hair is limp, and has no shine. His face is skinny and dirty as well. A few healed cuts linger on his arm as well, the dry blood hanging on. I feel regret..while Itachi still doesn't. I get to my feet scolding myself for what I am about to do. However Itachi has suffered greatly, and I will not stop torturing. He deserves the treatment…but at the same time the need to keep him clean is strong. He looks pathetic, like a dull trophy. What is the use of a trophy if it cannot shine? With that justification in mind, I undo Itachi's shackles.

I pull Itachi up, who doesn't question anything. I look at his fragile form, and a strange sort of anger comes over me. I can't place the cause, so I simply blame my brother. I guide Itachi down the rather empty hallway to the hot spring. Once I reach the end of the steps I notice Karin in the pool.

"Oh Sasuke!" she calls excitedly. "Are you coming in?"

"No," I say coldly and begin to strip Itachi. Karin's eyes grow wide and she props her head up on her hands. She watches, and a strange feeling of annoyance reaches my heart. I step in front of Itachi so that Karin can no longer view him. I can her the pouting sound that escapes her lips.

Once I've discarded all of Itachi's clothes, I quickly push him into the hot springs. Karin attempts to steal a peek, but is unsuccessful. She gets out of her hot spring, not modest at all, and sinks in near Itachi. I ignore her and run the naturally warm water over my brother's pale skin.

"Man you look bad," Karin tells Itachi, her hand reaching out for his shoulder; which is bruises and bony. I shoo her hand away.

"I've told you before not to be near him," I tell her sternly. Itachi remains motionless, and quiet.

"Fine I'm done bathing anyway," she huffs, and gets out of the water. I hear here grab a towel and her clothe and her bare feet carry her up the stairs. I turn around to see her disappear. I look down at Itachi, who seems like a corpse. If only he were, if only I really had killed him. I scoot away from him, expecting him to clean himself. However Itachi stays completely still. I look down and notice that I've gotten water on my pants. I stand up and wipe at the spot, like doing so would make it disappear. The attempt was useless, just as I though. With a sigh I look longingly at he warm water, and my bones start to ache, calling out to the relaxing spring. I glance at Itachi, and then scoff at him. I had no particular reason, but I did so any way. I turn around and go to get a towel.

"You could clean yourself. " I call over my shoulder.

"You seem to like tending to you're doll, Little brother," he says in a low tone. The statement hits a nerve, but I control my temper. I can't keep over reacting to every statement that leaves Itachi's lips. I take the two towels back to the hot spring's edge. I then free myself from my own clothes. I take a few long steps away from Itachi and then finally let myself sink into the water. Itachi looks up in my direction when the sound of rippling water reaches his ears. He says nothing though, only lets his blind eyes stare, pretending to see.

"Stop your staring," I snap at him, but he doesn't' obey. "You should be grateful I let a piece of trash like you enter this nice relaxing water," I coo out. "And what do you give me? You're blank stupid stare. What sort of gratitude is that?" Itachi still doesn't respond, only continues his staring. Then he slowly lowers his gaze and I see his hand explore the water. I watch him play with the pure water. He's no beauty, with that dirt on his face, and those bruises all over his pale skin.

"You've really sunk low. Getting beat up by your own brother. You deserve it. I wish you had your sight so you could see how ugly you look, how worthless you've become," I spit out at him. My eyes study him, and something nags at the back of my head. The urge to insult him grows stronger…but there is something else. There is another desire, I choose to ignore it. The though is hidden away in my mind, and I don't wish to analyze myself. No I wish to please myself by asserting my power; my control. I can do so by insulting Itachi, by noticing how far he has fallen from the elegant dark angel he use to be.

Itachi lazily draws the water over his arm, an attempt at cleaning. The slow motion aggravates me and I scoot closer and capture his hand. I crush it in my grip for a moment before shoving it out of my way. I then start cleaning Itachi's shoulder, and next his face. I run the water over his hair and even scrub attempting to make it as silky smooth as I remember it.

Itachi willingly lets me do all these things, and he doesn't complain. "You can't even take care of yourself," I whisper cruelly into his ear. He turns to me, his red eyes giving me an eerie look resembling death. I glare at him, though it's not much use. Softly Itachi's breath blows onto my lips, then he turns away. A soft cough escapes him. I watch as after a small pause a coughing fit ensues. The sound angers me for some reason. I look at Itachi as if doing so will make him stop. However, he continues and small dribbles of blood escape between the slits of his fingers, which are covering his mouth.

"What's this?" I question angrily, but he continues to cough. "Itachi!" My tone came out sounding more like concern, then annoyance. Finally he calms down, and a smirk flutter onto his lips.

"You're right brother, I am sick," He says casually.

"What's wrong with you?" I question in a stern voice.

"I've been sick for a very long time…" He trails off. "I've gone to long without my medicine," He smiles. My frown deepens.

"What's wrong with you?" I question again this time with more anger in my voice.

"When one suppresses everything, it is bound to cause physical ailments."


I stand at the entrance of the cave. Next to me is Itachi stoic and quiet as always. In front of me are the people that have attached themselves to me. "I'm going to find a village with a good doctor, I don't know how long I'll be gone," I muse. Juugo gives me a worried look and I give him a smirk.

"You'll be coming with me," I assure the bipolar boy. This eases his worries, and he timidly steps next to me.

"Wait a minute!" Suigetsu burst out. "I'm am not staying with Karin all alone! Why do you always try and do this Sasuke!? Well this time I'm not gonna put up with her PMS induced nagging!"

"What did you say!" Karin yells, and holds up her fist threateningly.

Juugo looks at me, and through the yelling quietly asks, "May Suigetsu come along?" I nod, knowing allowing this would stop any complaints.

"Then come with us Suigetsu," the water boy stops his bickering, and smirks.

"I could tag along, maybe look for another sword while I'm out," he ponders about the idea.

"But Sasuke…then I'll be all alone," Karin says helplessly. I look at her meaningfully.

"I trust that you will keep the hide out a secret, and protect it," I tell the girl lacing my voice with unnecessary charm; just to insure that she will not whine about her position any further.

Karin swoons, " You can count on me Sasuke."

With everything sorted out we quickly leave. Trying to be discreet so that if someone is in the forest they will not spot us. I carry Itachi in my arms as I jump from tree to tree. He is still shaky on his feet, though he can walk with great elegance and pride; he is not fast…he's too weak.

I look down at my brother occasionally as I jump along. Again I notice little things about him; yet now I see them in a different light. His pale skin, is it because he's unhealthy? His empty yet strong eyes…are they holding on to life, or simply emotionless? Then his lack of will to eat, was he simply too sick to eat?

We finally make it out of the forest that holds our hide out. Though I am still sure to have everyone cover their heads. We are all wearing black hooded clocks, even Itachi; seeing as his Akatsuki clock would draw to much attention.

I set Itachi down upon his feet. We all walk leisurely, not certain where we will go, but we are not in much of a hurry. Besides, Itachi cannot walk any faster then our current speed. Occasionally Itachi struggles with a step, or starts coughing again. Though the coughing is never that bad. Suigetsu and Juugo end up walking ahead of us, and I don't mind. I stay behind to keep an eye on my pathetic brother. The sight both pleases and angers me. Itachi would have let himself die…but that privilege will not be given to him. Even now he refuses to tell me what exactly is causing his body such great pain. Which is why I'm out looking for a doctor. I will not let him die. He will only die once I let him…once I kill him.


We settle down in a hotel. We've found a village but sadly it is so small that the only doctor they see is from the village next door; which is miles away. However we will rest here to night, it's already well past Midnight. Juugo and Suigetsu have already gone to bed. We are each in our own room. They had insisted they wanted to give my brother and me privacy. I wondering if they just didn't want to be bothered with us, and just wished for sleep.

"You're exposing yourself," Itachi mutters from his Futon. He's sitting up and his blind eyes stare at his hands.

"You are killing yourself," I say back.

"I would think you'd be happy to hear such."

"No, I'll be happy once I cut you down."

Itachi stays silent and then lifts his head. He looks up at the ceiling, which he cannot see. "It is best to let the wicked wither," he muses.

"I will pick the time when you may pass."

"I will allow you to do so…if you can." Itachi coughs again, but it is just a small one.

"Why do you hold on to me, little brother?" he questions softly. I glare at him, hoping that he can feel my anger and annoyance. He lowers his head and directs his eyes towards me.

"Why don't you learn your place?" I snap out. I've grown very tired of my brother suggestive questions.

"Where is my place?" he asks emotionlessly.

"Underneath me—" I curse myself as I notice the double meaning those words hold.

"I see," Itachi says coolly. His calm and collective demeanor taunts me. I know he also sees the double meaning, but he ignores it; all just to tease me.

"You're disgusting," I mutter out, continuing my glare. The word seems to bring Itachi back from some sort of daydream. He slowly turns towards me.

"What have I done now?" he questions in a monotone voice.

"Don't act innocent." Itachi stays quiet, and the silence eats at my brain. "You do this every day all the time, with every word that you speak! You try to seduce me with your twisted words of love and protection. You try to convince me I feel something towards you by turning my words around. You act so subtle but at the same time you are a blatant whore. Throwing yourself at me, wanting any kind of touch. You're desperate and sick, you disgust me!"

"You see all of this in my words?" Itachi says in a cold tone. It angers me, the lack of emotion, it angers me so much. He says so many things, but none of them seem true because all his words hold no feelings. His eyes are always blank, I know nothing about him...about his thought process. All I know is that he lies, and he's sick, twisted. Somewhere at some point in time he got lost. Yet at the same time..he's vulnerable and occasionally I can hear softness in his voice. Sometimes I almost pity him..I almost mistake him for my Aniki.

I pin Itachi down, and growl. My temper has had enough of his little word games. "You know damn well what you do!" Itachi stays silent. "You've lost all your dignity!" I spit out at him, my grip on his shoulders tightens, yet Itachi shows no fear.

"It's always that you want to protect me, you love me," I yell at him. "But you're protecting yourself, you've never loved anyone but yourself! You lie, to please yourself, to keep me in the dark. So that you have some sort of control. Well I don't need you, you might hold knowledge but it is knowledge I will find out on my own. You're not in control you are pathetic and weak!" Itachi looks away, and I smirk. "Do you see? Do you see who's in charge?"

"It was out of love that I did not kill you. It was out of want to protect you that I taunted you, and watched you and your little blond friend."

"Shut up, you don't know what any of those emotions feel like. You're not human, you're just a murder!" My anger continues to grow but a part of myself doubts. A small part of me looks at my brother with want. I know so many things and I want to know, I want to trust. However a greater part of me is angry and desperately holds on to my old ideas and notions. I want to hate him, I desire to hurt him…because I feel pain and confusion. I want him to feel that!

"Keep saying that Sasuke," His voice is but a whisper. He almost begs me to keep telling myself this, to keep calling him a murder. No…I'm sure he's begging me to.

"Murder.." I trail off, as I look at Itachi's dead eyes. "Liar," I mutter with hate. I want to know the truth. I question everything.

"Yes," Itachi whispers more to himself then to urge me to continue with my delusion. His eyes close. I want to know what it is he's keeping from me. I'm not sure of anything anymore, and my grip tightens on Itachi's shoulders. I am even beginning to wonder if the story he told me when he thought he was going to pass away was true. I can't be sure that anything he's told me is true. I don't' trust him…yet at the same time I do. I'm so confused. I wish to know why he's lying to me..what is he protecting me from?

"Has everything you've ever told me, everything you ever said; has it all been a lie!" I ask in frustration, though I don't expect an answer.

Itachi's lip curls up into a soft smirk, his eyes close again. "I'll show you mercy if no one else," he whispers. The word rings through my ear, and as it settles into my brain it seems to turn on a switch. Rage consumes me, the confusion has become too much. I'm tired with his games, I cannot handle his cryptic messages and lies. Nothing seems to be true anymore…yet all the words he's spoken run through my head. All the claims of his love, and wanting to protect my innocence. The statement that I am the one who is blind.

I find myself in a fog, I linger there in pain and confusion. I want Itachi to feel this torture he's putting me through. I'm the one in charge, I'm tired of being played with. Let him keep lying let him play his games, but I'll hurt him. I want to hurt and confuse him. So that he doesn't have complete control over me. My heart may ache, my conscious maybe split, but I will hurt him. I've done it before, but I've been to soft. Not anymore, my life is not something to be toyed with. I'm tired of being controlled. I'm tired of having people tell me what to do, or convince me to change my views. I'm not going to be used anymore. I'll find out everything I need to know, and I'll use force. Mark my words I'll use force, but I'll never give the sweet release of death.

My fog is lifted as I hear a small gasp. I look down to see Itachi's eyes half lidded, and dazed even in their blindness. His hair is around his face like dark sun rays. His skin is exposed and almost seems to radiate. I can feel the cool soft skin underneath my fingers, and just a tickle of hair. However non of my hands are anywhere close to his face. I glance around wondering what my blind rage has caused me to do. I am still annoyed and my hate still runs through my veins like fire.

A smirk spreads across my face as I look at he situation I've put myself in. I almost feel like laughing as I realize the potential that this holds. A fitting punishment. For if it is true, if Itachi hasn't lied to me about his unacceptable love towards me, it's about time I torture him. That I play a game, and confuse him. That I give him a hint only to take it away and make him wondering if it was a lies or truth. Even if he did lie about his love, it will hurt him, I'll make it painful. I'll take his pride, his strength and make him suffer in physical and emotional pain. Either way this punishment will be all to fitting.

A/N: Next chapter angry lemon. I always mark my lemons for those you might not want to read them.