Part II

Realization

Chapter Four

Mac's eyes opened again and he looked around, taking stock of things. Still bound, still on the uncomfortable mattress. But the room was bathed in light now and he had non-ghostly visitors.

"Flack? Danny? What's going on here?"

Both men looked rough, stubble shadowing their cheeks, clothes a little wrinkled, Danny's white T-shirt was stained and Flack's dress shirt was rumpled. Their eyes were sunken and they looked exhausted and looked as if they were leaning on each other. Neither was bound or restrained in any way.

"Hey, you're awake. How ya feelin', Mac?" Danny asked, coming closer. "Donnie, he's awake now. Showtime."

"Showtime?" Mac echoed, confused. "Danny, what the hell is going on here?"

"Hey, Mac," Don Flack said in a reasonable tone of voice. "You okay?"

"Flack, what the hell is going on here?" Mac rattled his chains. "Can either of you get me out of here?"

"No can do, Mac," Danny said, looking regretful. "It's for your own safety."

"Safety?" Mac looked from one man to the other. "What do you mean?"

Flack came closer and got down on one knee. "You remember what happened last night? We went out for a beer and then you went home."

So, it wasn't a dream? Mac wondered, watching the men.

"Yeah," he replied slowly.

"Then you went into a store and got a water. Someone was robbing the store and you um…"

"You were shot. Pow! Pow! Pow! Three right in the back!"

"Danny! Have a little sensitivity. The man died."

"Died?" Mac put in. Was that why he was seeing Claire? "But you and Danny…" He trailed off, rattling the chains.

"Died," Don said, crystal blue eyes swimming with sympathy. "Danny and I rushed to the scene but you were too far gone. All we could do was…" He caught himself and looked over at Danny. "You sure he's ready for this?"

"Positive," Danny affirmed, coming closer as well.

"All we could do was change you, Mac. You'd almost bled out. Your heart rate was slowing." Don pointed to Danny's wrist, where a small indentation was the only indication it had been marred. "I bit in right there and pressed his wrist to your mouth. Fed you his blood. Changed you."

"Into one of us," Danny added.

"Into one of you?" Mac repeated, looking from one man to the other in shock. "What does that mean?"

Flack opened his mouth, flashing lethally sharp teeth--fangs. "Mac, I know it doesn't make sense to you. Might never. But Danny and I, we're vampires."

"And you're chained up because until you're at full strength and completely transformed, you're a danger to yourself and us. You're gonna hunger so bad for blood you could kill us without a second thought. And would. These next few hours are gonna be real rough for you. Your body is changing, awareness opening up. You're seeing and feeling things you haven't ever before."

"Claire?" Mac asked. It was a plea

"Claire?" Flack asked, but Mac ignored him. His attention was on that voice and presence.

"Right here," her voice, a little ethereal, came from somewhere behind Don and Danny.

"Is it true?" he asked, directing his question at her. She sighed, expelling air he wasn't sure she even had in her lungs. If she had lungs. The scientific implications of all of this were making his head spin.

"It's true, Mac," she said quietly.

"It's true, Mac," Danny echoed, though there was no indication either man was aware of Claire's presence. "Right now, I'm gonna give ya a little blood, just a sip. The room is being monitored. We'll know when you need more, when your body has finished the transformation. You might dream, you might see people from your past. I dunno how it might work for you. Been a while for me and I was changed gradually." Danny flashed his own set of sharp teeth and Mac fixated on his mouth.

"But when you come out of it, you're gonna need a lot of things. Feeding, sex…among other things."

"Sex?" Mac asked, distracted by Danny's mouth. He squirmed restlessly, his body aching.

"Yeah, sex. Even now you're getting hard. Blood lust and physical lust are all tied in together. We don't have any women around but you…I know you and Danny…once or twice…" Flack actually blushed at that.

"Yeah," Mac said roughly. "And you and Danny, now?"

Flack shrugged but nodded. "Doesn't matter. What you need, you need. Danny and I have been there. We understand."

Danny sighed, rolling his eyes. "Can we save all this for later? Mac needs to eat a little and then rest up." His eyes slid down Mac's body and he grinned. "Though he looks like he's healing really well to me."

Flack nodded, propping Mac's head up a little. "Know you don't want to do this but you have to. It'll help get you stronger. Trust me, it'll get a lot worse if you don't."

Even though Mac was completely opposed to the idea, he found his mouth opening as Danny brought his wrist closer. "Just bite right down, Mac. It'll be okay. You'll see. It'll really be okay, Mac."

Danny's wrist rested a few inches away from his mouth and Mac sucked in a deep breath, smelling warmth and sunshine on the other man, not the expected darkness or decay. His body twitched and Mac realized he was getting turned on, despite the circumstances.

"Danny," he whispered, groaning.

"Right here, Mac. Right here." Danny lifted his arm away, grunting as he tore into his own flesh and then brought the arm back to Mac's level. One crimson drop hovered above Mac's lips for a moment before it fell, coating his mouth.

"Go ahead. Have a taste."

Even though Mac didn't want to, his tongue darted out and he licked the liquid off his mouth. Warm, salty, not at all as he'd expected. The single drop rocketed right through him and he groaned, trying to surge up and get more.

"Okay, okay." Don supported his head as much as he could and Mac drank thirstily, groaning with the pleasure of it. After only about thirty seconds, Danny pulled away, licking the small torn area. Mac watched as it sealed itself closed.

"You're gonna feel invincible soon." Danny told him. "It's gonna drive you crazy, gonna drive you outta your head, Mac. It's why we gotta leave you chained and we gotta go. But we'll be back as soon as we can and we'll take care of whatever you need."

Mac swallowed hard, eyes wide. "Don't go."

"Gotta," Danny said and there was pure regret in his tone. "You can't go through this with us here. You have to do it alone or it won't happen."

Mac watched helplessly as they left, turning his head to the opposite wall. Already, his body was starting to shake and quiver, the blood rushing through his veins and making his body sing. He started shaking, groaning. This was pleasure in its purest form and the changes worried him. He didn't even dare talk to Claire yet. Again. He was too worried about what she might think. At least after all of this, he suspected she was more than a figment of his imagination.

If he was drinking blood and that blood was turning him on…he knew on some level this part was no dream. He couldn't explain or rationalize how he knew, but it was a certainity that ran through him, a clarity of thought, an honesty that made more sense than anything else had.

A hand ran through his short hair, the fingers cool and soothing, and Mac made a small noise of desire, want, need. Danny and Flack had said they wouldn't be back soon. Were they? He forced his eyes open but he couldn't see anyone.

"Please," he whispered, head whipping from side to side. He needed sexual satisfaction. It had been too damn long and his hand was never his favorite sex partner anyway.

Chapter Five

March 17, 2007

"I've got ya, Danny," Mac said softly, guiding the other man into the foyer of his building. Danny was way too drunk and his place was far too distant for Mac to allow him to go home on his own. It was only eleven and Danny was hammered. Mac had no idea how that had happened.

"Come on, Danny. Gonna get you upstairs to my place. You can sleep it off."

"Your place?" Danny mumbled. "But ya only got one bed, Mac. Big Mac. We sharin'?" Danny leaned in even closer and Mac shook his head.

"I'll take the couch, Danny."

"Nah. Not putting ya out. King-size bed. We can share."

Mac sighed inwardly, knowing what Danny said made absolute sense, even if it was unorthodox. He'd shared sleeping quarters with his men many times beforehand. It wasn't that big a deal.

He managed to get Danny inside and on the couch, bending down and tugging first shoes and then socks off. "How do you sleep, Danny?" When Danny looked confused, Mac tried again. "What do you wear to sleep, Danny?"

"Oh." Danny's eyes brightened in comprehension. "Nothin' usually. What 'bout you, Big Mac."

Mac shook his head, walking to the dresser and pulling out a pair of sweats. "Put these on, Dan." Danny fumbled with his jeans before he looked up to Mac and Mac found himself dropping to his knees, unbuttoning and unzipping, yanking Danny's pants, shoes, and socks off. As he pulled Danny's shirt off, his knuckles grazed the other man's stomach and Danny groaned, throwing his head back.

"Mac, you're teasin' me, man."

The thing was, he wasn't. Not intentionally anyway. He glanced down, knowing what he'd see, knowing that he'd find Danny erect. Sure enough, the other man's cock was outlined, straining against the fabric of his boxers.

"Want you," Danny whispered.

Max reared back in surprise, wondering for a moment if this was alcohol talking or if there was truth behind it. Studying Danny's expression and his eyes, which were clouded by drink but also so frankly honest, gave Mac the answer he sought.

But he couldn't act on it, for a great many reasons. He reached over and mussed Danny's hair, giving him a tight smile and pulling on the sweats. The light leaving Danny's eyes made Mac wince. Despite all Danny'd been through, he'd maintained a hopeful outlook that shone in his eyes.

Mac had to close his heart off when he tugged Danny to his feet and settled the other man in his bed, on his side. Mac couldn't bear to put Dan on what had been Claire's side. He'd sleep there, if he went to bed.

And that was a big if. He wasn't sure about this. Danny's admission changed everything between them, the realization its own sort of anguish. It couldn't be, it could never happen the way Danny wanted it. The way Mac knew Danny deserved. He was just too wounded, a big part of him still living in the past.

But as Danny burrowed into the blankets on a cool March evening and turned to Mac, reaching a hand out, he found himself stripping down to boxers and undershirt and settling in beside the younger man. It would be okay. Even if his feelings for Danny were complex, Mac was a Marine with a Marine's willpower.

He closed his eyes, knowing that sleep wouldn't come for him any time soon. He was wrong. A deep dreamless state overtook him and he sighed happily as the rare event served to pull him down into a place where darkness reigned, where he was completely at rest.

Mac awoke with the first light, groaning slightly. A warm, wet mouth was lapping at his nipple, his shirt rucked up. A strong hand was stroking over his abdomen, working its way down to his hard, leaking cock.

His eyes opened and he looked down at the head, already knowing it was Danny's, knowing it was wrong to do this. But it had been so damned long and it felt so good. Mac's internal arguments held no water at the moment, not when that warmly capable hand curled around his boxer-clad flesh.

"Dan," he whispered, hips thrusting upward as he tried for more satisfaction than he was getting currently. He wanted skin to skin contact. He wanted it all.

Danny lifted his head, grinning at Mac. His eyes looked soft and slightly unfocused, his smile dreamy. He looked so much younger than Mac and Mac almost felt as if he was a dirty old man, though he was nothing of the sort. Yes, he had about ten years on Danny, maybe even fifteen, but Danny was a fully grown and very capable man.

"Yeah, Mac?" Danny asked, mouth curving into a smile.

"More," Mac said, a gentle demand. When Danny tapped him on the stomach, he lifted up, allowing the other man to skin the boxers down his body. When they had tangled at his feet, Mac kicked them off.

He watched as Danny reared up slightly, sliding his eyes down Mac body, lingering at the ridge of scar tissue over his heart. "Beirut, right?" he asked, hand smoothing over it.

"Yeah." Mac nodded. They'd had showers in the same area at the office but male etiquette was to never look at another guy that closely and he hadn't. He assumed his colleagues had reacted the same way. Mac would have preferred if nobody knew about the injury, but word had gotten around slowly, especially after the building collapse last year. As discreet as Stella was, word still managed to slip out.

"Man, you musta almost died," Danny remarked sadly and Mac shrugged, uncomfortable with talking about that time in his life. He took Danny's hand away and moved it lower until it finally brushed his pubic hair.

Mac groaned, pressing his head back into the pillows, and Danny chuckled. "Been a while, hey, Mac?" he asked, a slight laugh in his voice. "Don't worry. Won't be long again."

Danny's hand moved again, finding Mac's hard cock and giving it a gentle squeeze, thumb smearing the pre-cum over the way too sensitive head. "Danny," Mac hissed.

"I got ya, Mac. I got ya." Danny ringed him right under the head, moist thumb now working the sensitive underside of his head, fist exerting just the right pressure to drive him crazy. The longer Danny waited to start stroking, the more Mac fought against reacting, wanting to take complete control and dominate the event. But he would hold off, patience and self control winning over his growing sexual need. And he would not give Danny the satisfaction of knowing that Mac was so easily controlled.

That thumb kept skittering over his hard flesh, tracing and then flicking lightly at the area where Mac's head met the shaft, where the vein pulsed in the underside. The pressure was incredible, he was leaking constantly now, the scent of male lust filling the air. He really ought to be focused on what Danny wanted and needed, but Mac couldn't bring himself to move, to touch Danny. All the self control in the world wasn't enough to pull him away from the first hand job he'd had in a long time.

That it was Danny Messer doing it just added to the experience.

"Danny, need more." Mac's thigh muscles were twitching now, his body straining for more contact. This male hand was so different from his and rather than being awkward, he embraced those differences.

"Like that, huh?" Danny asked. "I can get off doin' that to myself, Mac."

"Yeah?" Mac asked, curiously. He skimmed a hand over Danny's chest, but couldn't effectively worm his hand between their bodies and get a nice grasp of Danny's cock.

"You wanna feel?" Danny asked and Mac nodded, giving him a challenging measuring look. He watched as Danny reared up and then glanced to Mac's bedside table. "You got lube in there or you do it in the bathroom?"

It wouldn't have occurred to Danny that Mac didn't jack off, it was just a given, and that charmed Mac in a strange way. He reached over, opening up the drawer and pulling out a bottle, nothing fancy, no special scents or any of that, just basic glide your hand where it needed to go, stuff. Danny looked at the bottle and smirked and Mac wondered what he was thinking.

"Almost empty. Ya do this a lot?"

"What?" Mac feigned innocence. "Have a guy in my bed? Nope, that never happened before."

Danny chewed his lower lip, clearly wondering about that. "But you're okay with it?"

Mac nodded. "Not a virgin, Danny. I've…experimented." A little, but he could probably fake what he hadn't yet experienced.

"Oh…good."

"You? Not your first time here." Mac said it as a statement rather than a question. He knew Danny had some experience, had been able to read that in Danny's eyes and the way he moved with such confidence.

"Yeah, I have a friend with benefits, Mac. Not discussin' it though. Not without his okay. Not gonna ever out anyone, not even you."

Mac nodded, even though he hadn't worried about that possibility. "How about getting back to business, Danny?" He was hard, from what he could see now that Danny had shifted, Danny was at least as hard as Mac was, and they were wasting time.

"Okay. You're a top only right? You ever been a bottom?"

Considering Mac had never had full penetrative sex with a man he could answer that question easily. "Never been a bottom."

"Good." Danny's smirk this time was feral and Mac found it both endearing and sexy. "Cause I've been hoping to get that cock inside me for a long time. Man, you made my mouth water when you were sleeping."

"Oh?" Mac asked, wary of starting Danny off on another tangent.

"Yeah. You were lying there, leg cocked, boxers gaping and you were so hard Mac. I just wanted to swallow you down in one gulp. I would have too if you hadn't woken up like ya did."

"You mind that I ruined your fun?"

"Naw," Danny said, giving Mac a speculative look. "Not when I get to have my way." He swiped a bit of Mac's pre-cum and licked it off his thumb, groaning, sliding his own hand down his chest. "Damn, you taste good, Taylor."

Mac grinned and reared up, pulling Danny down for a kiss. Danny gasped against Mac's mouth as he pressed eagerly against it, cupping the younger man's cheek as he pulled Danny's lower lip into his mouth. Mac held Danny's lower lip in place in a gentle bite while his tongue swept over the flesh in long licks. Danny groaned, opening his mouth up further and Mac deepened the kiss automatically, claiming Danny's mouth with his own, tongue plunging inside.

Danny fumbled with the bottle of lube, squirting a little bit in his hand and then settling over Mac, gripping both their cocks in his hands, allowing Mac to hold him upright. The sensation of slick cock moving against slick cock was incredible, Mac had never felt anything like it beforehand. Danny was smaller than he was, but he was thick as well, and it was an amazing sensation having this hot, hard male sliding against him, the friction and pressure of Danny's hands adding to the experience.

Mac hissed out his pleasure, eyes closing, hands supporting Danny's upper arms, hips thrusting eagerly into the warm hand gloving him. "Like that do ya, Mac? Just wait until you're up me, in my tight ass. You're gonna fill me like I ain't never been filled before."

"Still waiting," Mac teased gently. He and Danny had found a rhythm that worked for them, bodies riding each other in perfect sync, in perfect harmony. This was so damn good but there was an ache deep in the base of his spine. He needed more than a hand. He needed to be inside someone warm, pliable, needy. He needed to be inside Danny Messer.

"Give it time, Mac," Danny said, laughing. He rose up, sliding away and Mac hated the cooler air rushing between them. He watched as Danny jacked his own cock slowly, hand moving over flesh in practiced strokes, slow but sure. He collapsed onto the bed beside Mac, spreading his legs and thrusting into his hand, his free hand wandering to his balls and lower. Mac propped himself up on an elbow and watched as Danny's fingers pressed against his tight hole, his index finger slowly slipping beyond the tight ring of muscle.

"Oh, God. God…Mac." He could only watch as Danny began spreading himself slowly, entering a second finger and stretching himself slowly. He jacked himself all the while. It gave Mac time to watch the play of morning light over Danny's body, brushing golden rays over his chest, highlighting the thick cock

Mac ran a hand over Danny's pectoral muscles, stroking and testing the flesh beneath his hands. Strong. Muscular. Utterly male. He began teasing the small nipples, working them to hard points with his fingertips, tweaking them, lightly pinching, making Danny moan. The other man was riding his hands, his fingers plunging inside himself.

"Mac…I'm ready. Fuck me."

Mac hesitated a second, glancing to the bedside drawer before he looked back at Danny. Danny watched him for the beat of a second before he chuckled. "Come on, Mac. You're not getting any, you think those aren't past their use by date? I'm clean, you're clean. You really wanna go to a store and get some?"

Mac chuckled, shaking his head. "You sure, Danny?"

"Yeah, I trust ya." He arched into his own hand. "God, I need ya. Don't keep me waiting, Mac."

The reedy tone, the deep need in Danny's voice, did something to Mac. He leaned in, kissing Danny tenderly and settling himself atop the other man. Reaching for the lube, Mac started to coat himself, growling happily as Danny batted his hand away, jacking him instead in twisting hand motions that made Mac groan and buck into the younger man's grasp.

"Come on, Mac. Enough with the foreplay. Let's get on to the main event." Mac grinned down at Danny, nodding. He was a little nervous, a little worried about hurting Danny, but the other man showed no worry, just complete arousal and need shining in his eyes.

"Tell me if you're uncomfortable."

"Yeah, yeah, such a gentleman. Fuck me, Mac."

Mac grinned, settling above Danny. The other man lifted his legs, jamming a pillow underneath his hips. It allowed Mac the perfect angle and he pressed against Danny's hole.

"Just like that, Big Mac," Danny said with a delighted laugh. Mac eased in slowly, moving past the thick ring of muscle and hovering there, barely inside. Danny's head was thrown back, the cords of his neck standing out clearly.

"Come on, Mac. I can take more."

"Can ya?" Mac pressed in slightly more, Danny's tight wet heat seeming to pull him deeper every second. Soon, without consciously doing it or knowing how it had happened, Mac was balls deep inside the other man, his overfull testicles resting against the curve of Danny's ass. Mac stilled there, brushing back Danny's hair, loving how soft it was against his hand.

"You doing okay?"

"Oh yeah…yeah." Danny made a quiet noise of need, wiggling under Mac. Every move was telegraphed to his hard cock and as Danny ripped around him, Mac let out a low groan.

"Feels good, huh? You like that, Big Mac?"

"Shut it with the pet names," Mac said good-naturedly. Danny clenched around him and he groaned his approval, head moving back.

"Come here," Danny said in a low passionate voice, and Mac moved closer, leaning in to kiss Danny gently. "Yeah…now start moving. Fuck me, Mac. I can take it hard as you can give it."

Mac sincerely doubted that, but he began thrusting, long movements where he pressed inward and withdrew to the tip. He kept his thrusts slow and even, not wanting to jar or jostle Danny at all. "That okay?" he asked, starting to breathe harder.

Danny nodded, shifting and then crying out. "God, Mac. Right there! Perfect!"

Mac realized that he had to be hitting Danny's prostate and he moved as deep as he could, quickening his strokes, feeling Danny starting to buck under him. "Fuck, fuck…" Danny chanted over and over again as Mac bottomed out, hitting just the right spot. The younger man's head began moving restlessly from side to side and Mac changed his approach, driving hard in small jerky thrusts, making sure he hit Danny's prostate on every motion.

"Dan, jack off," Mac said, his voice shaking from the effort of not giving in. It had been so long since he'd been inside anyone and this was both heaven and hell. As amazing as it was, he was having to work hard to not lose it before Danny'd come.

Their groans punctuated the morning silence, Danny adding little feline mewls of pleasure as Mac stroked over the spot relentlessly. He was tightening and releasing around Mac in a rhythmic manner and Mac closed his eyes, giving himself over to the sensations. Danny's breathing stuttered and he cried out, clamping down hard on Mac as he erupted on his hand and their stomachs.

That was all Mac needed. He stilled inside Danny, eyes opening, watching the other man as his climax began to build into a raging inferno. The lightning ran up and down his spine, his balls tensing and then….

Mac saw fireworks as he emptied himself into Danny's welcoming ass. Danny clenched and ripped and milked Mac's cum right out of him. He shook and groaned through a climax that stole reasonable thought from him, that stole everything but the ability to pulse, shoot, feel.

"Dan….Dan…" he whispered in wonder.

"I know, Mac. It's gonna be okay."

Chapter Six

Present Day

"Mac, Mac, it's gonna be okay."

The voice, an echo of the past, brought Mac to awareness. To burning agony, to need, to hunger.

"Dan?"

"Yeah, and Donnie's here too. Ya remember what happened?"

Mac blinked a few times, nodding. "You said I was…shot. And…" He tested his bonds again. "Let me free, Danny!"

"No can do, Big Mac. Ya gotta let the transformation happen. When it does, you'll know. You'll have all sorts of memories, and you'll know all about our kind—your kind now."

Kind?

"Kind?" Mac asked carefully.

"Yeah, the Kin. They're our band of brothers, all sorts of people like us."

"Vampires?" Mac clarified and Flack nodded. He hadn't thought he'd imagined that part but anything was possible. This was all so surreal.

"Yeah, vampires. Some of them have some other abilities as well but don't worry about all that stuff right now. It'll all make sense when you come into your own."

Flack sounded perfectly reasonable and Mac found himself giving himself a mental shake. This wasn't normal, whatever they claimed. This was…strange. Paranormal.

"There's a lotta ways to make a vampire, Mac. This is only one of 'em, and we usually don't like to do it under duress. When the person doesn't get a say in the matter, but we had to in your case. You were gonna die. You were dyin' right in front of us and we reacted without thinking too hard about it. Don't ask us to regret it. We didn't want you to die."

"And if I wanted to?" Mac asked, trying to stay calm.

"You didn't. You have a lotta life in those green eyes," Flack told him. "You have a lot of people who need you around. Us for one, two actually. You're still close with your in-laws, aren't you? And Reed…"

Mac's only answer was a jerky nod. He took stock of things, testing his physical condition. He was burning from the inside, exhausted and yet still able to concentrate, he was confused and wary, but was listening to the men.

"What's happening?"

"Danny fed you some of his blood. A lot. More than he should have." Flack gave Dan a stern look and Danny shrugged. "Twice now. I'm gonna give you some of mine soon too." He looked suddenly unsure and a little shy and Mac wondered what that meant specifically.

"And?"

"Well, when Dan gave ya a lot, it stopped you from dying and started you healing and there are all sorts of chemical changes that take place. I don't know what they all are…" Don shrugged and looked over at Danny. "It happens a lot more gently in controlled circumstances, but this wasn't one. It was just the opposite."

"Your body is healing itself and getting' stronger too, Mac. It happens over the period of a couple of days. Some people dream. Some people, it's just darkness and unconsciousness. You drift in and out. A lot of people hallucinate. Some get violent. It's why we had to chain you up. You could hurt yourself."

"Or us," Flack pointed out.

"Or us," Danny added in agreement.

"How much longer?"

Danny and Flack looked at their watches and then each other. "'Bout eighteen hours," Danny said a little uncomfortably. "It gets worse before it gets better, though, Mac. First your blood starts to burn and then you have this huge sexual desire that you can't take the edge off. Then, you…" Danny pressed his lips together.

"What?" Mac asked.

"You hunger. You get hot and hungry and needy. You need so much, Mac. It's incredible but it is the most horrible thing at the same time."

"But then when you come out the other side, you have a brand new life. You're sharper, stronger…" The two men looked at each other, smiling slightly. "It's amazing, Mac. It is incredible, the strength and the sharpness and the memory. It helps us do our jobs so much better. And we…the three of us…" Danny trailed off.

"We're going to be a hell of a team," Flack said, resting a hand on Mac's chest, stroking the skin there. "Does it hurt?"

"What?" Mac asked, his body shaking. He was over-sensitized, that hand driving him crazy even though it only rested lightly on his flesh.

"Your chest. It is healing, knitting. The scar tissue will disappear soon and you'll be as good as new, there. All over. Danny's eyesight is a perfect twenty ten now, even better than twenty twenty. We're stronger, smarter, sharper."

"And you like blood," Mac pointed out.

"Not like," Danny added. "Have to eat for nutritional purposes, but we can eat and drink other things as well. We just need a little blood to keep us stronger. The good thing is that we can share with each other. Rarely need any from anyone else. And we have blood banks for those times."

Mac tried to concentrate on Don and Danny's words, but the touch was amazing and he strained up into it. "Anyone else?" he asked before his mind blanked out and the passion centers took control.

"Not in the NYPD that we know of, anyway. But we have a lot of Kin in various industries, a lot of friends." Don stopped speaking when he realized Mac's attention had wavered. "We can talk about all of this stuff later. Just try to relax. Let it happen, the more you fight it, the harder it will be to deal with."

Don's voice was soothing and Mac relaxed into the touch. When Don placed his wrist to Mac's mouth, he drank thirstily, without any hesitation at all. The blood was starting to taste better to him, maybe it was an acquired taste. He drank hard, gulping down the warm, salty liquid, sealing his mouth to Don's wrist. It should have been awkward, it should have made his skin crawl, but instead it seemed right, and moreover, it felt right.

He felt softer, delicate hands in his hair and he tracked her even though he couldn't see her. Claire. What did this mean for them? Was he…damned? Was he cursed to never see her again? Mac was a man of science but he also had a healthy respect for his religion and faith and this twisted it all up inside.

It was this thought process that forced him to pull away slightly, shaking his head at the question in Flack's eyes.

"Had enough." He weighed what to ask, wondering how to phrase it, not knowing how to make sense of it all. "Are we dead?"

"No. We breathe. You can feel yourself breathing, right?"

Mac nodded. "What about…" Flack was a good Catholic boy, wasn't he? He didn't say the words, feeling a little trepidation at the thought.

"Do you mean Claire?" Don asked in barely more than a whisper.

Mac nodded.

"We die. We live a lot longer than the average bears, but there is an end of the line for all of us. She'll be there for you. We're not damned bloodsuckers, Mac. All that stuff is vampire lore that has no bearing on our Kin. Look, Donnie's got a buncha books. When we get you outta here, you can come back to his place, do some reading up on everything. A lot of it you'll learn when the change is complete, but our people are readers and writers and they have all sorts of books."

Mac started to open his mouth to talk, but Don shook his head. "Save the questions for later, Mac. Once my blood hits you…"

It was almost as if Flack had flipped a switch. Mac's body began shaking, the chains rattling slightly as the blood rushed through his veins. He could almost hear it whooshing through. A kaleidoscope of colors burst in front of his eyes and he made a small sound, trying to get away. His breathing seemed too loud, their scents overpowering.

"Cut the lights, guys," Flack said to some unknown presence in barely more than a whisper. Even though Mac knew that the sound was quiet, it cut right through him. "We're gonna go for now, Mac. Try to sleep through it. When you wake up, it'll be much better." Flack smoothed a hand through Mac's hair. "It'll be better, Mac."

Mac arched up into the unexpected gesture, feeling every strand of his hair moving, the extra sensation driving him crazy. Don't go, he said silently, but wouldn't dream of saying it out loud.

Chapter Seven

May, 2006

Mac remembered it all in the moment he woke, the dust and stench of cordite still strong in the air. He'd been here before, he remembered it all in stark clarity. This time was different, though. He was a civilian now. He'd been investigating a murder in an office building on a nice weekend, not a young lieutenant with his men one October morning half a world away.

His men…Flack! Where had Flack been when the bomb had gone off? In a single moment, Mac flipped through his memories, following the blood spatter, seeing the ladder, climbing up and unzipping the duffle and seeing the wires. Yelling to Flack that they needed to evacuate the building and the high-pitched whine of the fire alarm as they raced up the stairs.

Mac had thought they had the building clear, then the guy with headphones on had appeared and Flack had screamed for him to get out. But they'd been too late. Just a second or two later the bomb had exploded.

He coughed a couple of times and moved debris off him, crawling to his knees. As the building settled and more debris fell, he knew how lucky he was. His neck was stinging and bleeding, but that was minor and he knew as much. Were Flack and the other guy as lucky?

He started calling for Flack first but saw and freed the other guy first. Then he saw Flack, lying still, bloodied, and his heart clenched. Don was shaking, his mouth moving even though words weren't coming out, and Mac was caught in a place somewhere between the two bombing events in his life, flashing back and forth without any rhyme or reason.

Flack's stomach cavity was torn open and Mac felt sick at the realization of how bad off the other man was. He was not going to lose another man this way. He'd been there once, never again. He would not allow it to happen again.

His mind tried to shut off as he went through the motions that no man should ever have to do, trying like hell to save his friend. With his hand inside his friend's gaping stomach, he couldn't afford to deal with emotions. He had to remain the scientist. He had to see this through.

Only when the bleeder was tied off did Mac allow himself to breathe again. The guy asked him how he'd known what to do and he replied without thinking too hard about it that he'd been there before. And he was still there in his mind, flashing back and forth, telling Don to hang on one minute and Stan the next, Don's dress shirt transforming into Stan's fatigues, the face of a NYPD detective becoming that of a young Marine, barely more than a child. Dying.

He would not lose Flack.

"Stay with me," he repeated, even though he knew Flack was too far gone to hear. Just as Stan had been. Why he felt the need to compare them, he didn't know, but he was getting angry with himself, as if he was consigning Don to death by mental association. Don was a fighter, he'd survive. He had to live. There was no other option. Mac just had to allow himself to believe that.

When the flashlight beams brightened and he heard Danny's voice, he finally allowed himself to relax.

Seeing Don at the hospital initially had been about scientific need, for the case alone. As Mac had worked collecting evidence, he had tried to distance himself, completely failing. Mac was a strange mix of heartbroken and comforted by the still form of his friend lying there, face bruised, and scraped. They'd had their disagreements but there was a brotherhood there that nothing could tear apart.

"I'm gonna get you through this, Don," he said, his voice quiet in the sterile room.

The rest of the case was as complex as the bombing itself had been. Mac hated being used to prove someone else's point and so much of the case brought back memories for him.

It felt right to get back to the hospital and Flack as soon as he could. He was almost relieved when the others left and he was alone with Don and the machines, their steady beeping soothing him. When Don's fingers curled around Mac's he had to blink back his tears, gulping back his emotion.

"Squeeze my hand, Don," he said, his voice little more than a whisper.

Present Day

Mac awoke to someone holding his hand gently, stroking over his thumb and fingers. "Right here, Mac. Right here." Another hand, this one feminine, was in his hair. Claire. She'd often soothed him by stroking his hair and today was no exception.

"How ya feeling?" Flack asked, his voice soft and a little tender. The feminine hand pulled away and Mac swore he heard a whispered "I'll be back."

"Still need…" Mac didn't know how to verbalize it. His body was still shaking and vibrating, he hungered for something deep and unknown.

"I know. You're getting there. Only about six hours left."

Mac couldn't believe he'd been out so long, but he looked at Don and the other man nodded. "Danny's making arrangements. Calling you in sick, getting some clothes, your shaving kit."

"Where am I?"

"Kin safehouse in Staten Island. Once you're fully changed you'll be able to go home. Or to my place. Danny and I pretty much live together these days and we want you with us."

Mac arched an eyebrow in reply and Flack continued. "You and Danny have a connection and you and me, we have a bond too. Started out a long time ago but got real strong on that day."

"That day?" Mac echoed.

"Yeah. When I almost died. You kept me focused. You were incredible." Flack reached over, mussing Mac's hair. "And if you think Danny is good in bed, just you wait and see. The two of us together will rock your world." A smirk came over Flack's face and Mac was struck by just how good looking Don was.

"And I think you find me hot. At least a part of you does." Flack's hand closed lightly over Mac's cock, making him aware of how hard and aching he was. His hips thrust as much as they could into the firm grasp and he groaned deep in his throat.

"Like that, do ya? Danny told me you had a great cock, but I had no idea. You gonna top me like you topped Danny?" Don began a twisting stroke, showing Mac just how talented he was, in the world of hand jobs, anyhow.

"Don…God…"

"Yeah, sex is so much better too. And when we mix sex and sharing blood, it's gonna drive you crazy." There was a promise in Don's voice and he picked up his strokes. "That good for you, Mac? Danny told me he called you 'Big Mac' and now I understand why."

Mac tried to chuckle but he ended up emitting only a low sound of need.

"Relax, Big Mac. I'm gonna make ya come. Just let it happen." Don's voice was quiet and soothing and Mac arched his back, trying to move as best he could in the chains. There was no lubricant but he was leaking constantly and in moments the room smelled of male need and lust. Don was still standing over him and Mac could make out the bulge pressing against the other man's pantfront.

"If you want to bring that closer…" he offered and Flack shook his head.

"No way, no how. You're hungry for blood and there is no way my dick is gonna get in between you and that need. It isn't as big as yours and I don't need an amputation.

Mac laughed, trying to shrug one shoulder even though the restraints wouldn't allow that. His eyes drifted closed and his entire world focused to a talented hand working his tortured flesh. Don pulled and stroked, teasing the underside with little flutters of his fingers. His hands were smoother, less calloused than Danny's but would never be mistaken for feminine ones. And he worked Mac's cock like a master, seeming to know every place where he was most sensitive, every little ridge of flesh that begged for a firmer touch.

"Getting close," Mac whispered and Don leaned in, nuzzling Mac's cheek. They were both stubbled, there was no mistaking any part of Flack for a woman. Mac strained into the touch as he raced closer to his climax.

"Don't hold back, Mac. Let it happen. Come on."

Don's encouraging words sent Mac hurtling over the edge and he came, pulses of fluid arcing over the bed to splatter on his stomach, a kaleidoscope of colors bursting behind his closed eyelids.

A rush of sensations, of knowledge hit him so hard he reeled and his breath stuttered. "Sleep, Mac. Your mind and body need to figure it all out." Don's voice was dim as Mac's awareness faded away.

Almost Present Day

The Day Before

Mac gasped, his body shaking, his blood a wetly spreading puddle below him. This was bad, he knew it. A part of him was ready to go, but the other part of him wanted to fight, even though he knew the odds were stacked against him. He looked up at the young cashier touched his arm, noting the tears in her eyes.

"Don't…cry…" he rasped, not knowing where he got the lung capacity to do that. It was getting harder and harder to draw air. Three slugs, his slowing mind remembered. Through his back, his chest, and out. Not likely survivable.

His eyes closed now. Mac couldn't comfort the girl, much as he wanted to. He supposed it was a good thing she was still alive with an assailant or assailants still out there.

He was getting so damned cold and even though he was trying to keep awake until the end, he knew consciousness was drifting away, and with it, his life. It had been a good enough life, and at least he knew where he was going and who would meet him.

Claire. Had it only been eight years ago since the towers had taken her?

"Mac, it's okay."

He thought he imagined her voice, but then her hand covered his, right over where he was clutching his chest. He could see her hand as well as feeling it, but he couldn't see her. Darkness was all around him, and he realized he felt no more pain.

So this was what it was like to feel dead. Interesting…

"Claire?" he said, and he heard his voice echo. "Why can't I see you?"

"It's the way it is," she said and her voice sounded so lyrical to his ears. "You'll see and understand, Mac. You'll remember this when the time is right and you'll understand. It's okay. It's really okay."

"I can't be alive," he told her in a shocked voice. "How could I survive that? I was shot…wasn't I?" Could he have possibly dreamed or imagined this?

"You were shot," Claire confirmed. "Three times. But something is happening now, Mac. Something miraculous. You're going to live and you're going to prosper. Mac, you need to be open to this and if you can be, you'll find happiness in a place you never expected. It is unconventional but it exists."

"How?" he asked, straining to try to see her.

"Against the rules," she whispered. "You're not dead yet so you can't be with me. You can't see me, Mac. Even this is only possible because you're close to death. But you have to listen to me." She cupped his chin, her voice getting firmer. "You need to listen and understand, Mac. When they tell you what happened, accept it no matter how angry you are. Accept it and them. They're the right ones for you."

"They?" he asked, confused.

"They," she echoed. "You'll understand. I love you so much and you need to understand and know that loving them doesn't mean your relationship with me means anything less. You're not being disloyal to start a new family."

She brushed a tender kiss over his mouth, her warm lips were gone before he'd registered her caress. "I love you, Mac. And I want you to grasp this happiness. You deserve it. Maybe it isn't what you expected but they'll be very good for you. And your new life…you need to learn how to adjust and they're the ones who can help you."

"Claire, I don't understand. And I miss you so damned much…"

"I know." Her hand returned to his hair and he could feel her stroking the short strands soothingly. "When you finally wake up, you'll remember this moment. You won't be able to feel me any more, but we'll both know what happened. This is real, Mac. Ask Danny Messer or Don Flack."

"Why?"

"Because they'll understand. You need to awaken, Mac. A new life waits for you. I'll always be watching and listening. We love you."

"We?" he asked in a raspy tone. He was completely overwhelmed by all of this.

"We," Claire replied. "Your parents, the baby, and me."

He pulled in a breath, a sharp gasp tearing through the air.

"Baby," he replied, feeling a little numb. "Boy or girl?"

"Little girl. She's with us, at peace now. And we need you to seek your peace with your mates and new life. I love you so much." She placed a finger against his lips when he started to answer. "I know. I know how much you love me. I see it in your eyes every day. But that doesn't mean you have to stagnate. This is your opportunity to live again. Live and love, Mac. For once you need to grab this full force and just live without regrets. You've mourned me too long and I'm sick of it."

She took a deep breath and he was astonished to realize that she could breathe in whatever state this was. "You need a life, a life of love, and of really good sex." She giggled then and he realized just how much he'd missed the lyrical sound of her laughter. "This is a crossroads in your life, Mac, and I need you to choose to live. Too many people need and want and love you. Believe in it, believe in us."

She kissed his cheek this time. "This has to end, Mac. You need them and they need you more than any of you know. You have the choice here and I know you'll make the right one. Choose to live and be with the ones who can take you onto the next phase of your life. It will be different but the second time doesn't need to be any less sweet."

"Will I see you again?" he asked her softly.

"In your dreams. I love you so much, Mac, and I know you're more than capable of thriving in your new life. Take a chance."

"Claire, there's still so much to say….I love you…"

"Always and forever, Mac. I love you."