Chapter X
What did Noah do, when he saw how fragile his world is? What did he think when he saw that it could so easily be swept away, and that everything he knew and loved was flooded and killed. A single force tearing apart one world, to make room for the next. What do I do now?
I look out of the mouth of the cave. I don't hear any birds chirping, and it feels like a huge storm as passed. Maybe that's why the birds aren't singing. I don't' remember any rain…however I'm standing on the threshold of a new era. An era where I have to discard the notions of my past…I have to throw away every thing I ever though I wanted, or hoped to achieve. I have to look out for myself, and the other people that have decided to stay by my side. The most important journey that is to come? The journey within myself. After all, I cannot expect to be a leader without knowing myself, and who I am.
I wonder if Noah ever held fear when he set eyes on the soil…what seeds did he sew first?
I look out at the dense forest. Madara knows I reside here. I should really move the group somewhere else. I know a safe spot where we can go…yet I wonder if we would be accepted there. It's worth a try. After all Konoha owes the Uchiha, the least they can do to redeem themselves is help the last remaining clansmen. Besides if nothing else I can Black mail them using Itachi. I'm not afraid of them…but I am a little angry. However I suppose there's no point in seeking revenge, not after Itachi worked so hard to bring peace to that village. Besides what have thoughts of revenge ever gotten me? Nothing...it's an empty feeling of hate that can consume your soul, and leave you with nothing. I'm glad I stopped myself before I took Itachi's life. I suppose a part of me already came to the conclusion that killing Itachi is useless. Killing anyone in revenge is useless…it won't bring back the people you've lost. It'll only add to the list of the dead.
Itachi...All the love and admiration that I held towards him when I was little, has come back. It's a relief really. It's a much more uplifting feeling to know your Aniki never left. It's better then feeling betrayed. Though I don't necessarily agree with Itachi…somehow murder has lost it's glory. I could never be a shinobi, because now more then ever, I refuse to kill. What right does any human have to kill another? None at all.
Itachi's words are believable; I trust everything he says. Including…the 'I love you's' he's muttered out. I look at the dirt, and my heart throbs a little, I feel uncomfortable as I think back to the night the truth came out. I know I feel something very strong for my brother. And I wonder if it's more then brotherly affection. My face starts to heat up, and I close my eyes. I've never felt so many conflicting emotions, all because of one person. Itachi always does this to me...he always makes me question myself without even asking. I run over the emotions I felt when I rapped him. In the beginning anger bitterness, and lust…In the end regret, and embarrassment. Is it odd for you to lust after your own brother? Or was it an emotion brought on by stress? To encourage me to carry out the punishment? I'm not sure…however I do remember the many times I've looked at Itachi and though he is beautiful. He still seems perfect…even with all his flaws…even though he's exposed himself as human.
It's hard to tell if my feelings towards Itachi have changed. Well I know that my hatred towards Itachi has disappeared and I feel great relief. However now when I look at him…and I feel a smile tugging at my lips, is it really admiration, joy, or something different that I'm to afraid to admit to myself?
The truth of the matter is that I cannot tell the difference between love anymore. I know there are many different types of love. However I can't recall the love that I gave Itachi when I was little, I don't' remember if it's different from this emotion I'm feeling now. It could be exactly the same. However the one thing that I'm sure of is, that I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. And maybe this new world isn't so scary…Maybe Noah didn't even think about where to start, and just followed his instincts.
I push myself off the wall of the cave, and walk back into our hide out.
"How are you feeling?" I ask Itachi in a monotone voice. I slide the door shut behind me.
"Better ", he mumbles out, and turns his face towards me. Does he wonder how I feel? I touch my lips, and remember the overwhelming sensation of the kiss we shared the night all truth came out. I want to say 'I love you' but I'm afraid. I'm afraid because I know it's not the normal type of love two brothers share. I think…I've always held these feeling for Itachi, since we where young. Maybe my deep admiration and my desperate need for his attention was fueled by love. He's mine now, but I'm still unsure, I don't want to hurt Itachi. I don't' want to break his heart if this love I'm feeling isn't the same as the love he feels for me. However just thinking this way is that proof? Are we not normal brothers?
I think back to all the times he's said 'I love you', and remember how my stomach twisted, and how I felt sick. I've always felt sick when he's done anything 'inappropriate'. But, now I wonder if maybe I became sick to cover up the fact that I myself enjoyed it as well. That I wanted Itachi to feel that way towards me. It's intoxicating to have his complete and total attention; to be wanted by such a perfect angel.
"We'll be leaving. After all Madara already knows our hide out is in this area. It's only a matter of time until he finds us," I explain and step closer to Itachi's bedside.
"Where do you plan to go?" Itachi questions casually.
I sit down on his bed, and his head turns towards me. I look into his blind eyes. It feels so different now. To know I don't have to hate him…that I can love him. It's such a positive emotion, and I feel so light. All this time was revenge a simple obligation? No...I was searching for answers, and I was angry. Anyone would try and find someone to blame in that state of mind. I blamed Itachi, though a part of me always wanted to believe in my Aniki. I'm glade that he never left. I feel so at peace.
"Sasuke?" The sound of my name catches my attention, and I stop my staring.
"Oh, yes, I was planing on retreating to Konoha."
"Konoha?" Itachi looks out straight in front of him. "What makes you believe we are welcome there?"
"We're not," I tell him, and reach for his delicate hand. For a moment when I touched that soft skin, I had the urge to pull away. However I remind myself that he is my Aniki, my only. The soft spoken, and caring brother I remember, even if he's capable of murder, he's still so…fragile. What's past is past, what matters the most is that Itachi never stopped careing about me. He never left me, and he had a reason for slaughtering our clan. A noble reason...peace...even if it was achieved in a violent way.
"What's on your mind," my eyes focus.
"Nothing…" I drift off before going back to the topic of Konoha. "Either way I am wanted by Konoha, so it would benefit them if I just appeared. If they wont' treat us decently, then we will expose Konoha for the murders they are." I explain.
"I am no longer the murder?' Itachi smirks.
"You where following orders," I mutter out. "Would you like a bath?" I change the subject. "The Hot Springs might do you some good."
Itachi pulls the blankets off, and I help him get to his feet. Though he tries to walk on his own, I end up helping him along the way.
Karin runs out of her room, and stops in front of us. "When will we be leaving anyway?" she questions me, while pushing up her glasses.
"Within three days," I tell her and push past her. Her eyes run over Itachi and then look at me.
"Are you two going to take a bath?" she questions with a grin on her face.
"Yes, a private bath," I say. She frowns, and becomes red in the face.
"Well of course it would be a private bath!" she blubbers out and fumbles with her glasses.
"Isn't there a girl in Konoha who fancies you?' Itachi questions.
"Sadly, a lot of girls 'fancy' me," I mutter out. Itachi becomes still, and we continue to walk down to the hot springs.
Itachi undresses himself while sitting near the warm waters. I undress as well and set our towels close to the water's edge. I slip into the hot pool and wait for Itachi to finish undressing. He's taking a rather long time, but he manages on his own. Once his pale skin is completely exposed he coughs and I fear that he might once again be coughing up blood.
However I am not able to check his hands for the red substance and he enters the water, and washes his hands.
"It's not as bad..." he mutters out, and continues to run his hands through the liquid.
"I'm not convinced," Isay low. Itachi doesn't respond, but simply sinks in deeper into the warm water.
The tips of his hair float on top of the water. His eyes stare out straight-ahead. "Beautiful," I find myself whispering. I know my brother heard these words, he must have. However he gives me no indication that he did. I scoot closer. I want to touch him, however I don't allow myself too.
Itachi continues to ignore me. He looks down at the water, and I wonder if he's still able to see the difference in light and shadow. Does he notice the tiny streams of light dancing on the water's surface? He pushes the water, and I watch it ripple towards me. Suddenly a hand touches my face. I become stiff, but soon relax, as I meet empty eyes. Itachi's expression is equally as empty as his eyes, his fingers trail down my face. As if he's trying to see me.
"I haven't changed," I reassure him. After all it would be strange if I aged that rapidly. Finger tips trace underneath my eyes, and then my nose.
"You have," Itachi says simple."
I look at the reflection in the water, and see no difference.
"Not physically," Itachi says plainly, making me feel rather stupid. I look at my aniki again when he touches my lips gently.
His fingers pull away slowly but they are replaced. I find myself kissing my older brother yet again. My blood flows freely through out my body, and I'm relaxed. No desperation or anger in this kiss…it's simple and pure. I pull Itachi's hand away from my face with my left hand, as my right one goes to tangle itself in his hair. I push my lips against his, and take control. I let my hand run down submerged skin. I lightly lick Itachi's lip, and he opens up for me. My fingers trail up his thigh, and my hand almost trembles. However, my tongue is sure of itself and explores my brother without protest. Itachi's hand comes to rest over mine, stopping it in it's track. His tongue twirls around mine, and then his mouth closes, capturing my upper lip. He sucks on it for a moment before pulling away. Feeling all worked up and rather hungry for more, Itachi's actions don't stop me from attacking is neck, and swatting his hand away. I touch him, and feel a rush of confidence as I hear him gasp.
He tilts his head back a little and takes in a shaky breath before announcing, "We're being watched."
I pull away quickly. I look over my brother's shoulder, and he rests his head on mine. My eyes roam around the room and when I come to the changing screens I see a shadow trying to duck and make itself smaller.
"How long has she been there?" I question my brother. Not surprised that Karin would spy on us.
"They've been there for a while," he says in a monotone voice.
"Don't you two have anything better to do?" I call out.
"Damn it Karen!" Suigetsu stand up, and the one shadow turns into two. "You're stupid heavy breathing alerted them!"
"Me!" Karen stands up, and pokes a finger into Suigetsu chest. "It was probably your constant shuffling!"
Suigetsu pushes Karen out of his way, and steps out. "Well don't mind us, just ya know…keep doing what you where doing." He encourages us. Karen peeks out her face completely red.
"We're not going to give you a free show, get out," I tell them sternly.
"Great Karen," Suigetsu throws his hands up in the air. "Thanks to you I'm gonna miss out on seeing the closest thing to twin on twin action, I'll ever witness in my life!"
"You're sick," Karen mutters.
"Look who's talking," They begin to fight and argue as they exit the chamber.
"We'll be leaving today," I call out into the dark room. I slide the door shut behind me. Karen and the others are aware that we'll start our journey towards Konoha today. Suigetsu has decided he'd rather not follow us, and will be going out to follow his own path. I told him he's welcome to visit me at any time, and of course he gave me a cocky response, however I'll be expecting to see the water boy in a couple of months. Juugo of course has already made it clear wherever I go he goes, and Karen is still clinging to me with drool rolling down her cheek.
"I'm excited to see Konoha's response when you return." Itachi says, his tone not conveying his claimed excitement.
"Get up, it'll be a long journey," I say in an equally monotone voice. I watch my brother as he slowly moves out of his bed. I wonder if I'll end up carrying him most of the way. It seems he's become so fragile yet he holds this immense power. Strength you can only reach with wisdom, and self-confidence. When I first set out to kill my brother, and turned my back against Konoha I never imagined I'd become infatuation with Itachi. I wasn't at all planing on returning to Konoha, it seems that life, no matter how well planed out, is very unpredictable.
