Okee dokee, I finally got it up! Yay me! ... Anyhoo, I made this one longer, just like I said I would. (See... I keep my promises! ^^)
And here's the original disclaimer...
dIsClAiMeR! : I do not own Final Fantasy VII, because if I did, Tifa and Reno would probably be together. lol. ^^ I only own my story. lol. ^^
Here 'tis. ^^ Thanks for reading! ^^
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"Ruuuude..." a voice said. Rude could barely hear it. "Ruuude...." it said again, happier. "..." Rude stayed still and silent. "RUDE!" it yelled. Rude almost fell out of bed. "Who the hell-?!" he said, looking around. "Hey, buddy! It's like, nine... So I came by to see if you were ok. But... You were asleep, so, yeah..." he said. Rude saw Reno standing there. "Oh..Thanks." he said, tired. Wait... What had Reno said?! "Wait, what time did you say it was?" he asked, getting up. "Uhh..." he looked at his watch. "Nine ten." he said. Was he joking?! Rude grabbed Reno's wrist and examined his watch.
"Ohh damn..." he said, almost jumping up to get dressed. "Uhh, you okay, man?" he asked. "Yes, yes... Where are my shoes?" he asked himself, looking around his room. Reno looked down. "Black shoes?" he asked. Rude nodded, not looking at him. Reno smirked and bent down, coming back up with a pair of black Nike's. (I can just see Rude wearing Nike's, I don't know why. lol. X3)
"Here." he said. Rude looked over, confused at how Reno saw them and he didn't. "Thanks. Now I need my belt..." he said, going towards his closet. Reno looked down. He smirked and picked something up. "Rude..." he said. "What?! We really need to get going, we're already late! It's going to take a long time to get there!
Now, please be quiet until I find my-" Reno cleared his throat. Rude turned around. "...belt." he finished, smiling a little. "Thanks." he said. Reno laughed. "You're helpless without me, Rude..." he teased. "Pfft. Yeah right. You're talking about me, the Big Strong Indestructible Rude, here." he replied, getting a flannel shirt out of his closet along with some plaid AE shorts.
"...How long does it take to get there, Rude?" he asked, looking at his watch. "Uhh... About... 10 hours, maybe? Somewhere around there..." he said. "And it's nine fifteen..." Reno said. "Yeah... Why? I think it'll be smooth sailing to get there. We should get there right on time." he said. "...Ok." he said, waiting on the edge on Rude's unmade bed.
"...Why? Is Reno actually having doubts?" he asked. Reno laughed. "Nah." he said. "Ok, put your stuff in my car. I'll be there in a sec." he said. "Oook, but where are you goin?" he asked. Rude turned around. "To get my keys..." he said.
"....Oh. Right. Ok." he said, going outside. "God, did it have to be this cold, yo?" he mumbled when he got outside.
"Scrooge." Rude said from behind. Reno smiled. "I'm just sayin it's wayyy too cold." he said, putting a bag in the trunk.
"Tch. Riiight..." he replied, locking the door. Reno gave him a playful glare, then opened the car door and got in. Rude did the same, and soon they were off. Reno took out his iPod, put in his earbuds, and went to sleep. 'Hmm... Maybe his trip won't be so bad after all...' Rude thought, pulling out his phone to tell his mom he was on his way with Reno in tow.
2 Hours Later....
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"...Are we there yet?" he asked. sigh "No, we're not there. We will be in..." he glanced at his watch. "about eight hours." he said. A groan was heard. "I don't like cars." Reno complained. "I'm sorry you feel that way." he said, trying to remember what exit to take. "...Are we almost there?" he asked. "If you mean 'almost' as in eight hours, then, yeah." he said. sigh "...But I'm bored." Reno said. "I can tell, trust me. ... Why don't you read a book?" he suggested. "I don't like reading." he said. "...Oook... Umm... How about you draw?" he tried. "I don't have a pencil or paper on me." he said, leaning his head against the window. "...Look in the glovebox. Maybe there's something in there." he said, resisted the urge to sigh in annoyance.
"Ok." he said, shrugging. He opened it and a notepad fell out and flipped open to a page. He stared at it a moment, then smirked. "Aww, cute, Rude." he said, picking it up. "What?" he asked, looking at what Reno had.
"I didn't know you like to draw!" he said, flipping the pages. "Whoa, WHAT?!?! Give me that!!!" he said, taking a hand off the wheel to grab at it. "Nuh-uh! I wanna see the rest!" Reno protested, intrueged at Rude's drawings, which were actually pretty good. In Reno's mind, great. "Reno! Give it to me!" he said. "I'm almost done!" he said, looking at some more.
"No you're not. You're done NOW." he said, making another grab at it. "Aww! C'mon! I'm your best friend!" he protested.
"Reno!" he said. "Alright, alright... .... !!!!" he then noticed that Rude hadn't been watching the road. "Uh ohhh..." he said. Rude's Honda was headed straight towards a tree. Rude's Honda was. With them in it. Because of a notebook. Pretty sad.
2 Minutes Later.
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"...Reno..." he started, stiff. "...Um... Yeah, buddy?" he said sheepishly, listening to the car alarm go off. "I'm going to kill you." he said. They then heard a siren heading towards them. Reno tried to avert his eyes from Rude's piercing glare. The siren turned off and footsteps were headed towards Rude's window. Rude didn't even look at the cop while he rolled down the window. "Nice car, sir." the cop said. "It was. But thank you anyway." he said. "What caused you to swerve, sir?" he asked. "You mean swerve off the road, nearly hit about four cars, almost run over a kid and his mother, and run straight on into a tree? Reno." he said.
"Reno, Nevada?" the cop asked, confused. "No. Reno. My idiotic partner." he said. "....." he looked into the car to see a red head grinning, waving a little. "Ah. Your partner.
How's it going?" he asked. "How's what going?" Rude asked. "The relationship. Have you been together a while? Or are you just starting out?" he asked. Rude's eyes widened. "What?! Oh, hell, no! No, not a partner partner!!! Like, work partner! I'm in Turks! I work for Shin'ra! Oh, God, scary thought..." Rude exclaimed. Reno, on the other hand, was cracking up in the seat beside him.
"That was funny!" Reno said between fits of laughter. The cop flushed in embarrassement.
"O-oh! I'm s-sorry! I didn't mean-" Rude cut him off. "It's fine, whatever. Um, what do I have to do?" he asked, trying to ignore Reno. "J-just liscense and registration..." he said, fumbling for a ticket. Rude pulled out his wallet and gave them to him. The cop looked them over and handed them back to Rude, giving him a ticket along with it. "Have a good day, sir..." he murmured, going back to his car. Reno was still laughing in the seat beside him. "You shoulda seen your face, yo! You looked like you saw a ghost!" he said.
"Yeahhh... Now. What are we going to do.? I can't just call up my mom and say we crashed and we can't come!" he said. "Oh yeah... Ummm.. Look for a dumb blond and hitchhike." he said, smiling a lopsided grin. "Is that what you do when you don't have a ride home from the bar?" he asked sarcastically.
"Sometimes." he said. "And what do you do when that doesn't work?" he asked.
"I call you." he said, grinning. Rude rolled his eyes. "Yeah. So... What do we do?" he asked. Reno thought a moment, then smirked. "I got an idea." he said. Rude listened.
"I can' t believe I'm doing this..." Rude mumbled. "I knew there'd be tickets. There always are." Reno stated, picking his bag up again. "First, we're late, then we crash, and know we're going in an airplane. This day couldn't be more eventful..." he said. "And a cop thought you were gay." Reno added, smirking. "He thought we were gay." he corrected. "Anyway, it could be worse." Reno said. "Tch. Right. How?" he asked. "The plane could crash and you die and I become paralyzed for the rest of my life." he said simply. "...Why do I die? Why don't you?" he asked. Reno smirked. "Cause. That's just the way it came up in my head." he said.
Rude rolled his eyes. "Whatever." he mumbled. "Flight now boarding. Please gather your belongings and head to the gate." the voice on the intercom said. "C'mon, troublemaker." Rude said, picking up his bag as well.
Reno followed. On their flight, Reno saw someone he knew. "Tseng?! Elena?! What the hell are you two doin goin to Junon?!" he asked, surprised. Elena would've normally rolled her eyes, told him to shut up, and continue reading, but instead she looked just as surprised, then blushed a little. "Ohhh... You're blushing. Somethin juicy's goin on, right? What is it? Honeymoon?" he asked. "What?! NO!" she protested, now starting to look mad. "Aww! First Christmas together! Kodak moment!" he said, putting his fingers in a camera formation.
"Stop it, Reno." Rude said, trying not to laugh. Half the people on the plane were watching Reno, amused. "Do you already have a 'Book of Firsts'?" he asked. "Shut UP, Reno!!!" Elena fumed. "Alright, alright. I was just bein the bitch you usually are, always up everyone's ass. ... I bet you wish Tseng would just-" he was cut off by something thick and hard hitting the back of his head.
"OW!!! God, Rude! I'm sorry! You coulda just said somethin!" but instead, Rude had nothing in his hands and was laughing. "Huh?" he turned around to look in the seat behind him. A little old lady sat there with a rolled up Italian Vogue in her hand. "Bad boy." she said. She had white hair up in a bun on the top of her head with knitting needles in it, thick glasses, strings of white pearls around her neck, a skirt, stockings, black shoes, a sweater with embroidered unicorns on it, a red and yellow striped handbag, and she was about three feet tall.
"What the-?!" Rude was still laughing. "Good shot, Nana!" he said. She smiled at Rude, then glared at Reno. "Bad boy. Cursing is a no no. You should leave that beautiful young lady alone. And that handsome young man! I should hit you again for good measure." she said. "What?! No!" he exclaimed. She raised up the magazine, warning him. Then looked at Rude. "You want to see how Nana took care of things like this in the old days?" she asked, smiling.
Reno whimpered and looked at Rude in hope. Rude didn't even hesitate. He nodded enthusiastically. "Watch and learn, young man. Nana will show you how it's done!" she said, leaping from her seat. "What the hell?!" he said, tackled by the old lady. "No cursing! Bad boy!" she said, smacking him countlessly. "Get off of me! Crazy old woman!" he said, trying to push her off. She punched his jaw. "No respect for your elders! Bad boy! Cursing! Bad boy! Harassing beautiful young ladies and handsome young men! BAD BOY!" she said, punching him again.
"Rude!" he called out. "Not now, Reno... I'm seeing 'how it's done'." he said, smirking. "Everything all right, mam?" a flight attendant said, coming down the aisle. Rude watched in amazement how fast this old lady was. In less than five seconds she had taken out her eyedrops, and put her purse strap in Reno's hand. The woman gasped. "How dare you steal a poor old woman's purse! Oh my God, mam, are you alright?!" she asked, rushing over.
"Oh dear, my poor heart!" the old lady moaned. "Oh God! Come here! We'll get a first aid kit!" she said, heading towards the cockpit.
"Thank you." Reno said, sitting up. "Not you! The poor old woman!" the lady snapped. "She doesn't even have any injuries!" Reno protested. "I'm sure she does! Now you just sit down! And don't try to mug anyone!" she said, rushing towards the cockpit with the little old lady in tow.
A few chuckles were heard through the plane. "Wow... You just got your ass kicked by an old lady!" Elena said, laughing. Reno glared at her and sat down again. After a few moments, Rude spoke up. "You okay, Re?" he asked. Reno laughed. "Yeah. I'm actually kinda worried about the old woman." he said. "Really?! Why?" he asked. Reno smirked. "She wasn't lyin when she said, 'oh, my poor heart!' " he said. Rude thought a moment. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I kneed her in the chest to get her off me." he said. "You WHAT?!" he asked. "I said, I kneed her in the chest." he repeated.
"...That was harsh." he said. "I know, right?! I mean, she nearly broke my jaw!" Reno agreed. "Tch. Not you. Her. You could've given the wrinkled old thing a heart attack." he said. Reno smirked again. "That's probably why she's calling out if anyone knows CPR." he said. "What?!" Rude looked up the aisle to see a flight attendant asking, "Does anyone know CPR?! CPR! Anyone?!" she asked. An old guy raised his hand. "Umm... Ok. Perfect. C'mon." she said, taking his arm and taking him to the cockpit. Elena gaped at her. Tseng raised his eyebrows. Rude stared. Reno stifled laughter. "Why don't you take a break?" he suggested. "A break from what?" he asked.
"Trying to kill people. First me, then a little old lady on a plane... In less than two hours. Take a break from it, please?" he said. Reno shrugged, pulled out his iPod again, turned it to 'Burn it to the Ground' by Nickelback, and was soon asleep with his head against the window.
Elena sighed in relief, Tseng stayed silent, Reno was asleep, and Rude was bored. Great combination for four Turks.
Tseng sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I think I'm gonna go with Rude's idea and catch a few winks. Wake me up when we're about five minutes away." he said, putting his arms behind his head. Elena rolled her eyes, but said nothing. "Will you?" he asked after a moment. "No, I'm going to leave my boss on a plane while I go see my brother so that he's left behind with some creepy old man who's going to sit by him and tell endless stories about the 'old days'." she said sarcastically. He waited. sigh "Yes, Tseng, I will wake you up when we're almost there." she said, going back to her book. He smiled. "Ok. Thanks, 'Lena." he said, going to sleep. "Mmm Hmm." she said, reading.
Silence.
It was too quiet for Rude. And it was so wonderful and peaceful for Elena. Rude thought about waking Reno up so he could have someone to talk to, but had second thoughts. First off, this was as quiet as Reno had been for the past two hours. And second, Elena would slowly kill him when they got back. Rude sighed and slumped into his chair, deciding to take a nap since he'd need the energy later.
"We will be landing in five minutes, please put all your belongings back in your carry-on and under your seats. Thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines, (it's the only one I can think of right now. lol.) and we hope you had a terrific flight!" she said happily.
"It would have been better without the incident involving a certain redhead..." she mumbled when she walked past Reno. Reno smirked.
"Wouldn't it have been?" he said, smacking her on the back. "What on-?! ... Oh, whatever. I'm not wasting my time on you." she said, scowling and continuing to walk down the aisle. A burst of laughter was heard from the seats she had just passed. "What?!" she snapped.
"Oh, oh, n-nothing..." he managed to get out between laughter. She scowled again and stalked down the aisle back to the cockpit. Everybody got silent, wanting to hear the pilot or co-pilot. Or anyone else in the cockpit. "Um... Alorra... What, is that on your back?" a muffled voice asked, obviously stifling laughter. "What the hell is so damn funny?!" she hissed. There was silence coming from the cockpit. "Why do you have a 'Kick Me' sign on your back, Alorra?" Silence. The door flew open. "CARROT-TOP!!!" she said loudly. Rude hid his face. Elena chuckled. Tseng watched Reno. Reno smirked. She stomped towards him. "Obviously, you're upset." he said, still smirking. "Yes! Yes, I'm upset! What is it you have against me?!" she asked, gesturing to the piece of paper that said 'Kick Me' that had been on her back.
"Wow... Who coulda put that on you?" he asked innocently. "I'm thinking a certain redhead that has been here before." she said, glaring at him. He waved her off. "Ah, don't let it get to ya too much, Alorra. You should know me by now." he said. She growled. "Why is it every flight you get, I'm on that very plane?" she asked. "Because I ask what flight you'll be on, and that's the one I get. When they ask, I tell them you're my sister." he said, a lopsided grin on his face. She got a weird look on her face. "Your sister..?" she repeated. "No, not really. Just bad luck, I guess... Well, we're landing, aren't we? I suppose I'll just go ahead and say, 'See ya on the next flight'." he said, smirking.
"Alorra! C'mere!" someone said. She gave him one last glare, threw the paper to the ground, and stalked off to see who was calling her. "Score one." he called out. Alorra resisted the urge to turn around and smack him silly.
Eventually, the plane landed, and Elena almost ran off the plane to get away from a mad flight attendant by the name of Alorra. Then remembered Tseng. She walked back over to him, shook him awake, told him they landed, and then escaped from a crazy mad lady... Leaving Tseng alone. To carry everything. And to somehow slip past Alorra. Poor guy. But, oh well. As long as Elena was in the clear, she, honestly, didn't really care.
Once off the plane with a sleep and hungry Reno, Rude was, yet again, stuck at another tight spot.
They were in Junon, but... How would they get to his parents' house? "...I gotta idea..." Reno said, looking past the airport. "Oh no... What is it this time?" he asked. Reno smirked, said nothing, and pointed. Rude looked. And did not like what he saw. "Oh, hell no. I'm NOT riding a bike to my parents' house with all this baggage." he said, instantly mad. "Do you see any other options?" Reno asked innocently. "Yes." he replied.
"Reaaallly... Like what?" he asked. "Like me getting a taxi and you getting a bike." he replied. Reno rolled his eyes. "I think I like the taxi better." Rude said, heading towards the road. "Fine, fine." he replied, following. In five minutes, they had a taxi to his parents' house. In ten minutes, they'd be there. And, in ten minutes, Reno would meet Rude's family. You could go ahead and call it a blind date. Because Rude knew that even though he had told his mother what he was like, and what he looked like, they had no idea what they were in for. 'Well, all that's left to do now is see how it goes...' he thought, watching the road through his window.
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I was watching Madagascar 2, Escape 2 Africa, and when the little old lady came up, that's when I got the idea for the old lady on the plane. lol. Anyway, reviews would be nice! Loved, even. ^^ Thanks for reading! ^V^
