Never Trust Strangers With Sweets (Because They Will Rape You)
Author: Dali
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. =]
Note: Thanks to Yosh, hkfoot, XxabridgedgirlyxX, & Scarlet Amaranth for the reviews. Just wanted current and future readers to know that these drabbles are meant to explore the characters and their wacky/insane relationships with one another. I, personally, love Gintama for that sole reason. =D
"Naa—Zura, I got something for you," Ginpachi said around his strawberry lollipop that was doing the most extraordinary thing; it was smoking at the end. Tiny wisps of smoke that smells suspiciously like tobacco was escaping from the end of the long white stick currently lodged loosely in the middle of Ginpachi's lazy grimace.
Katsura squinted his eyes at Ginpachi-sensei and blurted out loud, "Umm… Sensei, I don't think smoking is allowed within school vicinity. And it's Katsura, not Zura."
"Don't worry, kiddo. It's just my lollipop lolling."
"Somehow, that is highly unbelievable, Sensei. Plus I don't think there is such a word as 'lolling' either," the long haired boy added thoughtfully.
"Well, do you wanna know what I got for you or not?" Ginpachi asked, the ever-present exasperated tone clearly evident, as it usually is whenever speaking to Zura.
"If it's that hard test you gave us on sea planktons, then no, I don't want it. You don't even teach biology, Sensei! Speaking of which, you don't even teach period. Which is really unfair because I don't know how it's possible for Sougo-kun to pass all your tests and have the highest percentage in class!" Zura grumbled. "That and I am pretty sure it's a cigarette in your mouth because no lollipop can 'lolly' like that." Zura added as an addendum at the end of his rant.
Ginpachi sighed for the umpteenth time that day and resigned himself to the exasperating mess that was Zura. Shoving the square package into the boy's face (and squishing his nose in the process as well), Ginpachi was mid-step from turning around and walking back towards the stairwell that led to the school roof's exit before Zura's voice caught him. "Strawberry milk? You drink this kind of thing, Sensei?" Zura had the most indulgent smirk on his face as he examined the box of milk with chibi pink rabbits decoratively placed in what was suppose to be an aesthetically pleasing manner.
"What's wrong with it? I like that stuff. If you don't need it, give it back."
"Hmm… I'll drink it, but just to let you know, it's highly inappropriate to flirt with your students and to bribe them with sweet stuff like some old, lecherous pedophile." The indulgent smirk had seemed to taken permanent residence on Zura's stupid face.
"Shut up, you idiot, and drink the goddamn milk already," Ginpachi said, his lollipop still lolling at its leisure pace.
"Ok, only if you promise to flunk Sougo-kun on the next test," Zura said around the tiny straw he timidly sipped on.
"Hmph—I'll think about it…"
