After Severus had gone to work, he sat at his own desk again. He began writing more letters since he didn't feel like really talking to anyone. He felt stressed so he wrote more frantically, trying to get a letter sent to each of these people. He didn't know why he snapped at Paige. Now, he just felt completely horrible about how he had yelled at her.
Even though Severus had wanted to be alone, Harry came over to him again and had another discussion with him. "Have you received any responses to any of the letters yet?" He asked.
"No."
"Have you wrote everyone on the list yet?"
"No."
"Well, try to finish it today so there will be a greater chance for a response." Harry explained.
"I know. I'm not stupid, Potter." Severus snapped at him slightly.
"I know that you're not stupid. I was merely saying. You have no reason to snap at me. Is something wrong?" He asked sincerely. This was the man who had treated him so poorly throughout his childhood years, but the man had still helped him.
Severus sighed. "I yelled at Paige earlier."
"Did you apologize?"
"No, and I can't believe I'm telling you this." Severus said, feeling weird for talking to Harry about his personal life. On the other hand, he really had no one else to talk to about these problems. Usually he kept them bottled up, but then things like snapping at people or yelling at them occurred.
"Well, you should apologize and give her some flowers or something." Harry stated, giving his piece of mind to try and help Severus.
Severus just sighed and nodded before continuing to write.
"I hope I'll see you two later at the Weasley's." Harry mentioned before he took off and went back to his own work.
Severus continued to write more letters for the better part of the day. He thought his skills and time would be better spent elsewhere, but he wasn't going to argue with a paycheck coming in every week. He just wanted to be able to help people instead of sitting behind a desk and writing stupid letters. Then again, most of his life he had spent trying to be involved in the conflict, and now that he was out of it, he felt kind of bored.
After work, Severus headed back to his home. He took Harry's advice to heart and decided to apologize to Paige. He saw her sitting on the sofa, reading one of his many books so he walked over to her. "Paige?" He questioned as he had one arm behind his back.
She didn't say anything to him so he knelt down in front of her and took her book away. He sat the book on the table behind him and looked at her. "I'm sorry." He apologized before pulling out a single red rose from behind his back. "I didn't mean to yell at you."
Paige took the rose and smelled it before looking at him. "We should probably get ready to go to this dinner. It's in a couple of hours." She said before standing up and not addressing his apology. She just walked up the stairs and went to get dressed.
Severus sighed and sat on the couch. He didn't know what to do. He didn't really want to tell her about Lily, but he didn't want her to be upset with him either. He cared about Paige, more than he had cared about anyone in a long time. The problem was, Severus still loved Lily to some degree. He just wasn't sure he was ready to love anyone else yet.
Paige came downstairs in a black cocktail dress a while later. "You look beautiful." He complimented as he stood up, getting ready to head upstairs.
"I guess." She replied, sounding ungrateful for his compliment.
Severus went upstairs and didn't understand why she kept punishing him like this. He just wanted her to forgive him. He looked pretty grim as he put on a clean pair of his usual black clothes. He didn't feel like sprucing himself up for this occasion. The Weasleys and everyone else were used to seeing him like this so he wasn't about to go and impress anybody.
After getting dressed, Severus went downstairs and took Paige to the apparation spot. They popped onto the Weasley's ground before walking up to the door and knocking on it. Mrs. Weasley opened the door and she actually had a slight look of surprise on her face from seeing Severus at her doorstep. "Oh what a surprise! Come in! Come in!" She exclaimed, opening up the door for them and moving out of the way.
Paige and Severus entered the Burrow to see Mr. Weasley, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, Ginny, Harry, and Hermione. Most of the Weasley family was sticking around for a while because of the war that had happened not that long ago. Even Charlie had given up the dragons for a short while to be with his family after the death of Fred.
"Dinner will be shortly so feel free to chat amongst everyone. I'm sure Hermione and Ginny would love talking to you, Paige." Mrs. Weasley explained, pointing to the two girls in the living room while most of the others were in the kitchen or upstairs.
Paige just gave Mrs. Weasley a slight smile and sat on one of the sofas in the living room. Severus walked over to Mr. Weasley and Charlie who were heatedly discussing something. "Dragons belong in the wild, not chained up in Gringotts to protect peoples' money!" Charlie exclaimed at his father.
Severus decided to step in and give his piece of mind. "Dragons are powerful beings. They should not be taken lightly." He stated before sitting down and joining their conversation for no apparent reason. Sometimes he liked stirring up trouble since it would make him feel better when he could create such distress amongst people over a simple discussion.
Meanwhile, Paige sat quietly until Hermione came over and sat by her. "You look upset about something. Are you adjusting to the wizarding world alright?" She asked curiously and sincerely.
"I'm fine." Paige replied simply.
Harry and Ron had made their way over to the group in order to be with Hermione and Ginny. "It's Severus isn't it?" Harry asked.
Paige didn't respond. Her silence was enough to give him an answer.
"Listen. He isn't always the nicest person. We have all experienced that first hand but he cares about you. I can tell and that is pretty rare with Severus. I actually think he loves you." Harry explained and slightly defended Snape.
Paige sighed and looked down at the ground. "He doesn't love me. He is in love with someone named Lily." She confessed.
"Lily is dead." Harry admitted quietly, the topic obviously still bothering him after all these years.
Paige looked up at Harry. "How do you know that? Who is she?" She asked, wanting answers now.
"She was my mother." He answered in almost a whisper. Ginny put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him a little. "He was in love with her but made some bad choices. He was never with her and blamed himself for that everyday. I'm sure that he cares about you and if he doesn't, you could always leave to make him realize what he would be giving up."
A tear rolled down Paige's cheek. "I can't. I fell in love with him and I'm pregnant." She admitted to the four of them.
"BLOODY HELL!!!!!" Ron shouted at the top of his lungs because he was unable to believe his professor could have a child. The thought of Snape having sex crept him out beyond words.
Everyone turned to Ron, even those who weren't in their conversation. "Behave yourself Ronald Weasley! You shouldn't use such language in front of guests!" Mrs. Weasley shouted.
"Sorry mum. I stubbed my toe." He lied in order to not cause more of a scene.
Mrs. Weasley gave him a look and continued to carry on with preparing dinner.
"You should tell him." Harry stated before Mrs. Weasley told everyone it was time for dinner.
The huge group of people managed to sit around the table. It was lightly crowded but after a couple of spells to make the table longer, everything worked out alright. They ate the dinner but Paige picked at her food with a fork. For someone who was pregnant, she didn't feel like eating very much. Everything was weighing down on her: her relationship with Snape, her pregnancy, and her new life in this strange world. Everything was different and overwhelming so she didn't know what to do. Most of all, she didn't want to be with someone who didn't love her.
After dinner, people chatted for a while before leaving. Paige and Severus went back to Spinner's End for the night. Paige remained quiet once they had arrived at home and the silence was starting to kill Severus. "I've already apologized. I don't know what else you want from me." He informed her.
"I don't want to be second to a dead woman." Paige admitted harshly.
Hatred started to form on Severus' face. "Don't you dare talk about her like that! She was wonderful and a great witch!"
"Big emphasis on the was! She's gone! I'm here and she's not! If you want to wallow in your past and still be in love with the past, then go ahead! I don't have to stick around and be here for it! I can go out and find someone who will actually care about me and love me for me!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.
"You don't have anywhere to go!" He yelled at her, not sure of what else to say at this point. He didn't know how to make things better. In reality, he thought he could never make things right at any point in his life.
"I'll go somewhere that actually needs me since it's apparent that I'm not needed here." She said through gritted teeth, trying to hold back her tears. She started heading towards the door but Severus grabbed her wrist and turned her around.
He clenched his wand tight in his hand, obviously upset and not aware of what to do in a situation like this. Paige glanced down and saw his wand, which made her think he was going to use it. "So what are you going to do? Use your wand on me to force me to stay?" She asked with slight anger in her voice.
A sigh escaped his lips and he let her wrist go. "No." He said before turning around, his back facing her.
Paige felt surprised for a moment. "Severus?" She questioned. She didn't receive a response so she figured something was wrong, even though she knew this big explosion they just had with each other was probably it. Deep down, she cared about him too much to just leave him, even if he didn't feel the same way about her. "Look at me." She demanded.
Severus turned to face her and a tear had rolled down his cheek. "I'm not sure what to say or do. This is new for me. You're actually here and not dead. I don't think I've ever loved someone while they were actually here in my presence, and loving me back." He explained quietly, trying to avoid her eyes.
She walked up to him and wiped away his tear with her hand. "Life doesn't make sense. I can guarantee that most of the time it won't and it will be so confusing, you won't know what to do." She explained.
Severus hated it when she was so inquisitive sometimes. He knew life could be confusing but she always found a way to say certain things. "Just because I don't say certain words, doesn't mean I don't feel it." He mentioned before pulling her close and kissing her on the lips gently. "I really do love you."
Paige looked at him with caring eyes. "I love you too." She said, realizing that for once things might actually be fine. She thought that maybe Severus really could be happy with her and that she wouldn't be second. She knew that Severus would love Lily forever, but she wasn't there, and so he would love her forever too. He could actually be with her and have the life he had always dreamed of having.
