CHAPTER 2
I arrived at home in what seemed like very little time due to my annoying thought preoccupation. My thoughts remained completely on him. I climbed the stairs to the second floor and made my way to the furthest end of the hall to my room. After getting in to my night clothes and brushing my hair, I sat on the trunk at the end of my bed. My lack of personal experience with the opposite sex had made me an oddity to all my friends. They were always thrilled with the attention of men, me on the other hand always seemed awkward. I always thought of things I should have said or done to seem more charming and less introverted, but too little too late I suppose. I thought of his eyes, deep and never ending. His hands, so warm, I thought I could still feel where his hand had touched my side. I held up my right hand, the one that had been in his. I studied it, trying to tell if I could still feel the warmth of his palm.
Suddenly, I laughed at myself shaking off the events of the evening thinking of silly I must have looking sitting there studying my own hand. This my not like me at all, and I was ready to put it all behind me. Very ready, but at once, a strong breeze gusted through the doors of my balcony with a loud bang and put out the light by my bed side. I sat frozen heart pounding from the sudden shock. I was shaking slightly trying to breathe to calm myself down. After a moment alone in the dark I stood and moved to my side table and began looking for matches. I opened and closed drawers moving around their contents. But as I fiddled around in the darkness and strange feeling came over me. A feeling that I was being watched. Maybe it was a deep seeded paranoia. I peered around, but saw nothing. I continued to scan around the room in the dark still seeing nothing. Then I knew I must be paranoid, but that didn't stop me from slowly creeping toward the window to peak through the slats to check the outside. Was I paranoid?
The moonlight poured into the room through the crack in the balcony doors cascading across the floor in streams. I peered out as silently as I could, all the while holding my breath, my heart pounding in my ears. I then noticed a strange glow. I was sure it was something I'd never seen before. Trying to get my eyes to focus, I then realized it was the glow of white skin in the moonlight. His skin, his beautiful pale skin. He stood there plain as day staring up at my room from below. He didn't move an inch, nor did I. I was sure for a second that my heart had stopped as I backed away from the window as quickly and silently as I could manage. I raised my hand to rest over my mouth as I digested the shock. What was going on here? Had I made him angry? Then in suddenly dawned on me, that perhaps he was an smitten with me, as I was with him. I quickly pushed that from my mind, but I could feel it creeping back in.
After a few seconds I began to slowly pace back and forth across the wooden floor boards trying to process what I should do now. Should I panic, run to get my mother? No. There was something in my that was deeply excited for whatever reason he had found to come here tonight. I would not ruin it. Suddenly, although I was scared, I got a sudden burst of curiosity. I wanted to throw open the door and walk outside. To question him, to see what he wanted, why he had come here. To stare back, and the beautiful form below. I fought the feelings of happiness and tried to replace them with guilt. I didn't want to become attached to a stranger, that was bizarre. I looked cautiously out the window slats again to make sure my eyes had not deceived me. I after all wanted to make sure I hadn't gone insane. But, there he stood, unmoving, unnerving, emotionless perfection, staring like a beautiful statue. It dawned on me that perhaps he knew I was there. Dear lord, I had no idea what I should do. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. I felt momentarily lost. After a long minute and a pep talk from myself not to be a coward, I decided to take a few steps out the door to see if he moved or spoke. I was so insanely nervous that it took at least a minute to force my feet to move. Then, slowly, heart racing, I grasped the door handles and gradually pulled them half open. I took a step forward so that my face and the front of my short sleeved white sleeping gown was visible in the moon's glow. I didn't look at him at first, I just stared out toward the sky. It was a beautiful night, stars glimmered like a million tiny diamonds across a velvet black sky. The moon was almost completely full and was a beautiful yellowish white.
I glanced quickly out of the corner of my eye for one brief moment to see if he'd moved. Maybe the bold move on my part would scare him off. He stood, unwavering. He had a look on his face that I couldn't quite interpret. Something about the way he looked at me was completely at peace standing there staring at me. It was so beautiful, it almost broke my heart. Inside my head, I saw visions of me reaching out with my hand and stroking his cheek. He was like something out of one of my favorite romance novels, beautiful and perfect. My heart melted.
I kept very still for another minute before I made the decision to take a few steps outside. More brave than I perhaps had ever been, my feet propelled me forward. I stopped at the white columned railing and rested my hands there. Then, with all the courage I could muster, I turned my head and stared back into the face twenty feet below and thirty feet out. I felt a flood of emotions, it was all very strange to me. We were dead locked in an unbroken stare for sometime before I realized the intensity was honestly more than my momentary courage could handle. My legs felt weak, I got light headed and my breath seemed bated.
I broke the gaze suddenly returning back to my shy self and couldn't believe what I was doing. I couldn't believe how great the pull was from me to him. It was not unlike magnets. Every moment I stood there it became harder and harder to think about moving away. I had to take action before I lost all control of my emotions. I slowly backed up into the shadows and into my room. I took one more brief glance into his face before slowly shutting the doors and retreating to sit on the side of my bed. I buried my face in my hands feeling positive that I had humiliated myself. I thought if I ever saw him again I would be too embarrassed to show my face. How, I longed to see his face for one more second. No. Stop this foolishness. As badly as I wanted to, I was too scared to look to see if he was still there, I sat nervous and anxious for an least an hour before I felt calm enough to rest. I drifted off to sleeping wondering if he was still there watching.
