Me: The idea for this chapter was mostly inspired by Smallvillegirl2 and Miyuka Kokoro because of some conversations I had with the two of them which is why I started working on this as soon as I got the idea. So thank you guys for giving me this idea. This chapter goes out to both of you :3
Ikuto: What idea?
Me: Trust me, you're going to love it!
Ikuto: …I'm scared.
Me: As you should be. Now do the disclaimer before I change my mind.
Ikuto: Change your mind about what?
Me: Do the freakin disclaimer damn you!
Ikuto: Hana-chan doesn't own Shugo Chara or any other manga. In fact, she doesn't even own this computer.
chapter five
Recap:
"I have a plan," Tadase and Kiseki said at the same time.
"Where have I heard that one before," I muttered, the words sounding depressingly familiar.
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Of all the plans so far, I knew this one was the worst. The situation made me rethink all thoughts of Tadase. Actually, I was beginning to understand why some people call him Tadagay. Before you call me a failure as a friend let me explain what happened.
Tadase brought us to his place. He put me in a knight costume that was three sizes to small everywhere. He also said that Rima would find this highly attractive and leap into my arms. I was too dumbfounded to refuse it and ended up putting in on in a shocked stupor.
Well, crap.
"I'm not wearing this," I said flatly. Tadase rolled his eyes. Ikuto was watching grouchily from the corner and even Amu was looking a little uncomfortable.
"Tadase-kun, I think this a bit extreme," Amu said tentatively.
"Of course not!" Tadase declared. "No girl can resist a knight in shiny armor!"
"This is plastic armor, Tadase," I reminded him. I wasn't being as polite as I could've been, but this was absolutely ridiculous and after four-going-on-five humiliating attempts, it's hard not to be snappy.
Ikuto had the expression of someone in a torture chamber. He eyed my outfit and dragged me away.
"Look girl-boy, I'm only doing this because Tadase is an annoying prick and I want to make him look like an idiot in front of Amu," he growled and I rolled my eyes.
"Oddly enough, I can't imagine you doing anything out of pure generosity," I said darkly and Ikuto looked confused for a minute. He shook his head and sighed.
"Just trust me," he said.
"I'm not sure if—"
"Hey kid, it's my plan or a tiny-tots king costume, right?"
"…"
It was true.
My thoughts would be a mixture of both. I had no desire to find out what Ikuto had been thinking when Tadase showed up.
"Yeah, I thought so," Ikuto said with a smirk.
"Just tell me what I'm supposed to do," I grumbled.
"Do exactly what Kiddy King says," Ikuto ordered and my jaw dropped.
"The whole point is so I don't do what Tadase says!" I exclaimed.
"OK, not everything. I'm going to be making a few adjustments to save you some dignity and score me some points with Amu," he amended.
"Hn," I grumbled. The tights Tadase forced me into was killing me. Slowly and painfully I should add.
"Good." Ikuto said promptly. "Now let's head back."
"I don't wanna go back!" I cried. I was acting childish, but would you want to go back to the person who stuck you in a humiliating outfit? Would you? Nope. I thought not. Desperation brings out the very worst in people.
"Just go you idiotic girl-boy," Ikuto growled and I obliged with a glare.
"Let's do this," I replied in the same tone of voice.
We got back to where Tadase and Amu were, Amu staring off into space like a space-cadet and Tadase humming The Cuppy Cake song. It hurt my ears.
"I'm ready," I said firmly. Ikuto grinned. He actually looked happy, something that I found rather scary. For what seemed like the millionth time, we made out slow way to Rima's house, a path that was seeming more and more like the path to Hell.
"Now," Tadase whispered and backed away.
"Now," Ikuto muttered and I could hear the evilness in his voice.
"Don't die," Amu said. I felt so much better. I threw a rock at Rima's window.
"What do you want, cross-dresser?" she asked with a scowl. She and Ikuto would get along well I believe. Her eyes widened when she say my outfit. "What the hell…?"
"That was my reaction, too," I said darkly. Rima said nothing for what seemed like years…even though it wasn't of course.
"But why?" she asked me gawking.
"It's a very long and complicated story and—DAMN IT ALL IKUTO HELP ME!" I shouted the last part because the tights that came with the knight outfit were squeezing me in a place that no guy wants squeezed and I was going to spontaneously combust if I had to wear them any longer, especially in front of Rima.
Tadase came running from behind a tree at the same time Ikuto did.
"You killed it Nagihiko!" Tadase exclaimed.
"Good job, girl-boy," Ikuto said grinning nastily before he kicked Tadase's behind so the blonde toppled over onto Rima's lawn. What happened next was possibly the most disturbing thing that I've ever seen.
Right after face planting the ground with a loud thud, little laser beams shot around, electrocuting Tadase in a way that looked rather painful. Then a whole opened in the ground with the promptly fell into with an even louder thud that looked more painful than the first fall. Soon after, a pack of rabid dogs came running at him and Tadase ran away screaming, straight into a wood chipper. How he failed to see the wood chipper is something that will forever be a mystery.
Everyone stared. Except for Ikuto that is. He was laughing like crazy.
"What just happened?" Amu and I both asked at the same time.
"My security alarm that I just set up against you guys went off," Rima said casually. I winced at the thought of that being me.
"Ouch," I said.
"It's specifically programmed to not go off on a few people such as my parents, Amu and myself go through it," Rima said and then she looked like she just realized something. "Oh, and one other person, but none of you need to know who it is," she added.
"It's obviously not Kiddy-King," chuckled Ikuto.
"I didn't think of him," Rima said easily.
"Is he dead?" I asked uncertainly.
"Um…I'm not sure. The package did say that the system could cause possible death, but I don't really know," Rima said looking not the least bit alarmed.
"Who's the other person that your alarm doesn't go off against?" Amu asked curiously. Rima blushed lightly.
"That doesn't matter," she said quietly. Ikuto was the only one who seemed to understand her cryptic response. He laughed.
"I'll tell you guys," he offered, but paused when he saw Rima's death glare. "OK, maybe I won't."
Rima slammed her window shut and we made our way home, me still dressed in the knight costume Tadase gave me.
"Hey, what's going on?" asked a feminine voice.
"Rima, just killed Tadase-kun," Amu replied to a very French looking girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. Her blue eyes widened in shock.
"Hey, Lulu," Ikuto said with a small glare.
"How did that happen?" Lulu asked looking completely bewildered. Before Amu could tell her everything, I did. Why not? Amu was going to do it anyway. Lulu snorted a very unlady-like snort.
"What?" I asked her grumpily.
"Roses, sports, cute things, singing, cosplay," Lulu said, listing my past failures off, "that's not what you do."
"What else am I supposed to do then?" I grumbled. Lulu smiled sweetly.
"There's one thing you can do that won't completely screw up," she said.
"Do you know how many times I've heard that?" I demanded.
"But this will really work," Lulu promised. "I know it will."
I sighed. I'd made so many failures that one more probably wouldn't hurt. I nodded.
"Here's what y'all do," my possible—but unlikely—savior said.
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Me: I foresee many mixed opinions on what I did to Tadase in the chapter. I had to re-write it because what originally happened to Tadase was a lot more…anyway, sorry Tadase lovers. And I don't exactly know where the idea of Lulu came from, but if I end up calling her Luna by accident, blame it on Gakuen Alice…
Ikuto: I totally owned Tadase…
Me: Yeah.
Tadase: Ikuto totally owned me.
Me: Yeah…wait. Why are you still alive?
Lulu: Review!
Me: I think I'm going crazy 8-P
