NB: So here's a reedited version of this chpt. There aren't too much many changes but still changes nevertheless. If you're wondering why I'm doing this crap again, read the news update in my profile. If you would like to comment on the changes (if you've read the original) then pls review anon. Or if you would like to comment on my stupid idea of reediting this story for the umpteenth time, msg me if you like.
Disc: I do not own Naruto and Fullmetal Alchemist. They belong to Kishimoto Masashi and Arakawa Hiromu, respectively.
--Thoughts--
--Signs, radio communications, etc.--
The Perfect Soldier
In medical textbooks, they say humans are supposed to be lighter when they are dead. But Sakura thought otherwise as the body Sakura was currently carrying home seemed heavier than when it was still blessed with the breath of life. As the team got closer and closer to the Dome, now 45 minutes away, the heavier the body seemed to be, making each step heavier for her.
"On the bright side, carrying this slows me down and keeps me behind from everyone."
Indeed, facing the team at the moment wasn't the shrewdest idea. After making a decision with fatal consequences, Sakura didn't dare to look them in the eye and tried to stay far as possible. Sakura only saw a glimpse of their reaction when they saw the corpse but that was enough for Sakura to cower towards the far back of the group. The tense and uncomfortable silence during their way back wasn't encouraging for the young medic, either. Nobody breathed a word, not even Naruto after he and Sai regained consciousness 30 minutes after Sakura discovered Tazuna's body.
"If only I'd stayed with Tazuna…none of this would've happened. But what could I do? I couldn't let him die."
Sakura had sunk further behind in trepidation once she saw the dome up ahead. The moment of truth was fast approaching. Sakura was dreading for the worst punishment the authorities could inflict upon her. Then again, no punishment could ever torture her more than seeing the anguished face of Team Kakashi:
Naruto's scrunched face, marred with giant tears as he lowered his head in mourning and shame.
Sai's eerily indifferent yet stolid look on his features as he saw the burnt corpse.
Kakashi's heavily sunken eye suggested his gloom.
And then there's Sasuke, his eyes hidden underneath his bangs. That made Sakura even more apprehensive; not knowing what was on the mind of the man she'd risked her life to save. But Sasuke's seemingly emotionless expression made him look like a rubber band being pulled too far and about to snap any moment.
Sakura hoped she won't have to see that. Sakura had a tiny spark of hope that she'll be forgiven. After all, this was her first mission so a slip-up wasn't unusual, especially for the only other woman in Konoha Kamikaze Army (in the minds of those chauvinistic men in the military). Besides, Sakura thought, there was panic when unprecedented danger came, splitting up the team (a risky move in warfare).
But all hopes she had were dashed when Kakashi explained the situation with two simple yet shattering words to the watchmen once they passed the gate:
"Mission: Failed"
The Combat Medic's Burden
Sakura was feeling like she was suspended by a thin piece of glass that was cracking as she opened the body bag inside a cold morgue in the KGH basement.
Sakura had always hated the body bag and wished she'd never use it. There are procedures and tools she'd personally thought as unethical, but Sakura always looked at a body bag with a foul eye. The reason was tragically simple: it meant that the patient couldn't be saved…that no highly advanced medical technology or procedure could save him…that she failed to save the patient. The body bag proved her failure.
And the fact that Sakura failed…was the bitterest pill for her to swallow. Civilian and combat medics alike knew one day one of their own patients will die during their care and must accept that fact eventually.
Sakura never accepted that. Failure was not an option in her life.
"I let history repeat itself…again I let someone die…and could do nothing about it."
Sakura had always loved this job as a doctor because she could save lives, which was her lifelong goal she'd strived for. But if something like this tragic scenario happened, Sakura hated this job more than ever. One of the downsides of this job is to restrain the guilt and pain of losing that patient by her own hand and retain a reserved persona. She must never be weak and over-emotional when doing one of the gutsiest jobs – putting people's lives at the palm of your hands and making sure they survive.
Which leads to the ultimate worst part of Sakura's job as a medic – breaking the tragic news to the deceased patient's loved ones. Her heaviest burden is to keep a straight face and tell these people, who had high hopes their loved ones would survive the operation, their loved ones didn't make it…that she failed to save him or her.
She had to face Tazuna's widowed daughter and grandson once and tell them what happened to him. Sakura knew what she had to do next and that was the most emotionally stressful part of her job – to show them the horrifically disfigured corpse so they can identify and claim the body. Sakura couldn't even begin to imagine how she could divulge their distraught reaction once they saw it.
Sakura's heart raced faster still as she stood inside the frigid morgue, waiting for the "guests" to arrive.
Then it suddenly occurred to Sakura that the team was still here in the morgue, looking at the burnt corpse with morbid fascination. Neither of them had moved an inch. Before she could say anything to the men however, Sakura heard a commotion from the main hall.
"There must be some mistake, sir. We're not supposed to be here at the morgue."
When Sakura exited the room, she saw a woman holding a boy's hand. Apparently the woman was arguing with one of the medical staffers. Sakura paled in fear. Sakura recognized the woman and the boy in Tazuna's photograph. Tazuna's relatives have arrived.
Before the assistant could explain Sakura stepped in, "Excuse me, madam, but are you related to Tazuna-sama?"
Visibly surprised, the woman nodded, "Yes I'm his daughter, Tsunami," the widow then smiled sadly when her eyes fell towards the introverted boy, "and this is my son, Inari."
Inari bowed, as this was the common courtesy. But he wasn't smiling at all. And by the looks of it, he never smiles. After Sakura gave her own introductions, Tsunami asked the question Sakura dreaded.
"Can you please explain to me what is going on? We've been led down here to the morgue but we don't have any deceased relatives; we don't have any outside relatives we know of."
Sakura took a deep breath, trying her best to keep a straight face, "It has to do with your father, Tsunami-sama. You see…there was an ambush..."
Then the fearful, suffocating silence came. Tsunami whispered, "W-What happened to him?"
Sakura paused, observing Tsunami's state of mind. The middle-aged widow was pale and placed her free hand against her heart that was rapidly beating. Her other hand was squeezing Inari's hand with all her might, which he did the same for his mother as they both feared the worst.
"I'm very sorry madam, but the assigned team did everything they could to protect him."
Sakura discreetly bit her lip as she saw Tsunami's next reaction. As expected, the widow covered her move as giant tears began to pour out from her eyelids and stifle her choked sobs. Inari, tried to be a grownup, tried to hold back his tears and clenched his fists.
"Tsunami-sama, please come with me to the morgue so we can identify the body and give the body a proper burial," Sakura paused for Tsunami's consenting nod, "I must warn you Tsunami-sama, it's not for the faint of heart."
Tsunami tearfully nodded, taking small and solemn strides behind Sakura while Inari's head hung low. As each step become closer to the cold morgue, Sakura felt like she was walking towards death row.
And as expected, Sakura was greeted by a bloodcurdling scream once they entered the room. With her motherly instincts and reflexes, Tsunami wrapped her arms around her son to shield her son's innocent eyes as she cried in utter horror upon that sight. Tsunami knew her son already gone through too much for his tender age. The widow hugged her son tighter as she cried in agony, her tears soaking her son's hair.
Sai and Naruto looked away to avoid seeing the woman's grief. As for Sasuke, Sakura noticed he had lowered his head and his fists turned white. Kakashi discreetly zipped the body bag closed again to relive the woman of her emotional suffering. This wasn't much, but at least this was something instead of nothing. For any human being, knowing the existence of death in such a manner was indeed too painful to watch.
"YOU!!"
Snapped out of their stupor, the subordinates and Sakura were caught off guard by Tsunami's sudden reaction. One minute ago the woman was crying her heart out, and now she had a look of scorn and damnation as she pointed a condemnatory finger at a man nobody expected to hold a past grudge with someone – Hatake Kakashi. Then again…Kakashi's life has been a closed book to everyone.
"Never in my life would I've ever imagined of seeing the likes of you again!"
Kakashi let out a heavy sigh, having known it would come to this. "I'm sorry we have to meet each other under these same unfortunate circumstances."
"So after your father decided to save his endangered men over my husband from being torn to shreds, you decided to play with my family's life again by letting my father charred to a crisp?! Blown into pieces? Why?! Why is my family being played like this? Why is God so cruel? WHY!"
"I'm sorry things had to turn out this way again, Tsunami-san-"
"Don't you 'sorry' me, you insensitive scoundrel! Just like your father, you're nothing but a selfish fool! Did you actually enjoy our family's misfortunes? Is your family destined to ruin mine?"
All the subordinates in Team Kakashi were absolutely stunned and confused by Tsunami's harsh accusation at their leader, whom they greatly admired. Naruto, being the most outspoken of the group and a caring person at heart, tried to defend his mentor.
"Hey listen, you crazy lady! We're really sorry we couldn't save your father and you have every right to be upset over this, but you have no right to insult Kakashi-sensei like that!!"
Naruto received a step on the foot by Tsunami's son who was absolutely livid. Somehow the 10-year old boy broke free of his mother's protective grasp, instantaneously reacting from Naruto's sharp criticism of his mother, the only person the boy held dear to his heart.
"You don't know anything my mom went through so don't call my mom 'crazy'! You don't know what it's like to have happiness until someone literally took everything from you!"
Naruto mentally retreated after he saw the loss on the boy's face. Indeed, his life was different from Inari's. Naruto's life started out without any happiness – a stark contrast. He couldn't understand what this boy and his mother were feeling. The mother now looked disheveled when she was mourning for her father moments ago and her eyes were red and puffy as she broke down again and cried.
"I know I'm too old to say this but why is life so unfair? Kaiza and my father never wronged anyone so why were they rewarded with such a wretched way to die?! Oh God…please could You bring them back? I have nothing left but my dearest son! BRING THEM BACK!!"
The mother's control had flown out of the window by then and Sakura knew Tsunami had to know the truth – that Tsunami's loss was not Kakashi's fault this time.
"Tsunami-sama, please don't cry. Captain Hatake-sama isn't the one you should be placing the blame towards. I was the one who made the decision to abandon your father to save this team. I was the one who let your father unjustly killed. I'm to blame."
The room became nauseatingly quiet, like everyone was trying to hold back their explosive emotions from showing.
Tsunami spoke in the lowest of volumes, hatred hidden in her whisper, "So it was you who did this to him?"
Sakura tried to swallow that heavy lump in her throat, knowing the worst was yet to come. But she was willing to accept punishment. Tried to be strong as she could, Sakura answered: "Yes Tsunami-sama, I did it."
And Sakura was rewarded with a thunderous slap on the face. The slap was so hard Sakura's left cheek turned from pale white to bloody red. Sakura expected such a reaction from the distraught widow.
But Sakura never expected this:
"You are a filthy damned manslayer, you worthless good-for-nothing!!"
Sakura's mind was so spaced out from her words, Sakura didn't even feel the angry hand that had just slapped her face. Sakura wouldn't mind the woman's actions...but her distinct words worsen the wounds that only Sakura understood. Sakura tried with all her power not to crack her mask, not cry, not show anything in front of her superiors, who were in actuality, adding tons of salt to her bleeding heart.
Manslayer
Sakura hadn't heard that word for 5 years yet here it was again. That one word was enough for Sakura to lose her nerve – to make a huge dent on the fragile mental support she had. To be honest, Sakura could take any sort of insult thrown at her…but Sakura could never dissolve that one word. It was the one word Sakura never liked hearing, especially when that word was meant for her.
"I tried to save this team because I don't want history to repeat itself...and redeem myself from being a manslayer…yet I repeated history anyway…"
Sakura was so paralyzed by that one word that she wasn't able to discern anything that transpired. Sakura could barely hear the emotionally distraught and hysterical Tsunami and her son escorted out of the morgue and the body filed in one of the frozen cabinets. Sakura was numb as a statue, unable to notice the team slowly leaving the morgue and someone muttering the word "useless".
It took Sakura another 20 minutes to come to her senses a bit and saw Sasuke exited the rainbow room in small strides. Sakura hoped she could find forgiveness or perhaps encouragement or try to explain her actions from the one person that mattered to her the most.
"Uchiha-san, wait!"
Sasuke stopped at the threshold of the death room, his back remained unturned, not wanting to see her face even when she caught up with him.
"I'm tired of waiting. After all, it's not like I'd mattered when you decided to run off and do this stupid thing. After all these years of you annoying me, this ends here."
Although his words lacked any emotion, his words were sharp…and they hurt. Sakura knew Sasuke wasn't just telling her off about her screwed-up job during the mission.
"But-"
"I'm fed up with you."
Once Sasuke snapped those words, Sakura's mental glass floor finally shattered, falling into an endless black hole. Sakura's mind just turned blank.
To think that Tsunami's accusation was already dented her, Sasuke only needed five words to break her completely. Sakura could stand any physical punishment…but couldn't stand to bear this unimaginable pain in her chest. The most devastating part of Sakura's downfall was that this team she'd worked so hard for are absolutely displeased with her after her first assignment. This team that once tried to befriend her, now see her as an eyesore.
It would take Sakura another 50 minutes to realize she was still dully standing at the doorway of the rainbow room, with Sasuke long gone.
"This time, please remember to submit your report on-time, Mustang-san."
Riza sternly chided her captain Roy Mustang before they prepare to go their separate ways home after completing another ANBU mission.
"Don't worry, Hawkeye, I'll start writing it as soon as I get home-"
"8 hours later?" Riza added
Roy responded with a laugh. No one knows how to tame his bad habits as well as her. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's really in charge…
As Roy laughed away, Riza looked towards the sky, "Sir I suggest you go straight home; it's going to heavily pour and I know you hate it."
Roy stifled his laughed and looked at Riza's now-softened expression. Roy mentally chuckled. This woman could flicker from a strict military persona into an ordinary caring woman. Not many have seen that side of Riza Hawkeye. That thought earned him a lady-killer smirk.
"Good work on the mission, Hawkeye," Roy waved lightheartedly as he walked home.
"Yes sir!" Riza saluted to bid him farewell, unfazed by his smirk.
It was when Roy was completely out of sight did Riza begin her way home to her private apartment where she lived. It had been a long day but earning a good praise from Roy was enough to make her day.
But her thoughts were cut short when heard a voice resembling her female comrade nearby. Curious she followed towards her voice, leading her to the combat medic training and residential quarters in a secluded location. There, Riza spotted Sakura at the running track, with her military vest and shirt taken off and her heavy gear nowhere in sight.
"…213…" the medic panted.
Sakura focused on her running while Riza continued analyzing her. The blonde soldier noticed Sakura's bagged eyes, once sparked with die-hard determination, were now dimmed with antipathetic aimlessness and numbed with sorrow. Sakura also looked a bit paler than she should and the way her legs were running, they looked like they were about to collapse.
"Sakura-kun!"
"….214…"
"214 laps?! She'd never pushed herself this far before!"
Since she knew Sakura for years, Riza knew running was Sakura's way of coping or escape her troubled thoughts (like going to the shooting alley was Riza's method). No matter how bad the weather or her physical condition was at the time, Sakura would run to the point of physical and mental exhaustion.
"….215…"
But what worried Riza about this case was how Sakura was pushing her body to beyond her physical limit. What concerned Riza more was Sakura ignored her and kept running. Like Riza, Sakura had very few friends in the military circle and so she was always receptive to Riza. But now Sakura looked like she was bent on breaking herself by running herself to dangerous capacities, closing herself from her surroundings.
Riza knew she had to intervene before things worsen. But Sakura didn't listen and kept running. All Sakura could think of was running…running away from her troubles. And so Riza physically approached Sakura from behind and used both arms to squeeze Sakura by the waist and elbows, locking the younger medic in Riza's own grasp. Sakura struggled in Riza's grasp, desperate to get free.
"Sakura-kun, that's enough!"
The more Sakura struggled, the feeling of vertigo in her stomach became increasingly excruciating. Unable to fight it any longer, Sakura spewed out whatever that was left in her stomach. Seeing what had just transpired, Riza dragged Sakura to a nearby disposal bin and let her cough and spit out the rest of the vomit. Riza took a glimpse at the bin's contents and was disturbed from what she found.
"It had never been this bad before. Something horrible must've happened – Sakura, I don't think you should run anymore. It's getting cold and it looks like a big storm is coming."
Not even noticing that Riza had dropped the formality suffix entirely, Sakura wiped her mouth clean and collapsed into the older soldier's arms.
"Even the heavens are disappointed in me. What was all that hard work for after 5 years of insufferable training? – Nothing! No matter how hard I tried to change things, nothing's changed and I'm still the 'Manslayer'!" Sakura lamented.
Riza knew there was more to this declaration and tried her best to console her friend.
"I know you, Sakura. You've always overcame this."
"I don't want to do anything anymore: I'm tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of hiding, tired of serving everyone – I'm just tired of everything. I just want to get away and take a long deep sleep. I'm so tired."
Riza could see all those things in her eyes and most of all – hopelessness. "Where would you like me to take you? At least I could help you with that."
"Take me to my parents," Sakura immediately answered.
Riza could see red flags going up. Whenever Sakura visits her parents she stays there for almost an eternity. Adding this ominous weather would be a bad combination. But Riza had to keep her word and from the look of utter desperation in Sakura's eyes swayed her to fulfill the somber request. Holding her pack in her right arm, Riza's left hand draped Sakura's over her shoulders as the senior medic carried her to her final destination.
For the first half of their journey, it was eerily quiet. Riza knew Sakura would eventually explain everything in her own way. Riza's patience finally paid off when Sakura asked,
"Have you ever hated Mustang-sa?"
"Never."
Riza soon regretted for answering so quickly when Sakura said the next thing:
"Even if he told you he hated you?"
Riza was instantly frozen on the spot, absorbing the words. Once they finally sank in, Riza felt like her head had been smashed by a sledgehammer. Riza was so dazed she'd almost lost her grip on Sakura's arm. The blonde felt her heart and lungs constricted, like everything had crumbled inside her soul; her self-control and security crushed in an instant.
At that moment, Riza realized what really happened to Sakura…and knew exactly what she was planning on doing. Riza's heart poured out to her surrogate sister with sympathy as her own painful memories came back like an angry tidal wave.
"No doubt about it – this is uncannily like my first mission. I actually went through a moment similar to yours."
"What happened, Riza?" Sakura asked weakly, dropping the formalities.
Riza paused for a moment; gathering her thoughts as she continued their journey, hoping this will calm her nerves a bit.
"It was my first mission with Team Mustang – an A-rank mission. We had to destroy a conversion center inside Yokohama. Everything was going smoothly during the mission…until Mustang-san was captured by a Carrier. He was out of ammo and the Carrier was too far and too high for even Armstrong to grab him down. The only option was to use my sniper rifle.
"But if I shoot the Carrier, Mustang-san would also be injured. I don't know what to do as confusion turned into panic; I cannot harm him but if I do nothing Mustang-san would be eaten or converted. And the mission – the explosives we've set up will detonate soon and if I don't act now, all of us will be caught in the explosion. I had to act fast and I must choose between saving the man I swore to protect with my life…or let him die in order to finish the mission."
Sakura, even in her numbed and vacant state, peaked in interest at how uncannily similar their situation was. It's ironic how their fates were both in the hands of the men that are more important than their own.
"He yelled at me to not shoot – ordered me to finish the mission. But I couldn't do it! I couldn't afford to lose him…and so for the first time in my life I disobey him. I chose – out of my own free will – to shoot Mustang-san. I still remembered how much blood gushed out from that wound."
Riza's legs feel like jelly as the graphic details ran across her mind.
"Although we succeeded our mission with no fatalities, I felt like I'd done a horrible crime. Mustang-san's reaction wasn't encouraging as he angrily glared at me during our way back, holding his bleeding shoulder. He didn't say a word to me; he must've hated me to the point that he couldn't say anything. Such an idea pained me. After my father was KIA, Mustang-san did all he could to protect my well-being and so I reciprocated. I-I couldn't imagine myself betraying that bond between the two of us…but I did."
"So what did you do then?"
"Mustang-san was choking me with his silent fury. That itself gave a huge burden on me. I resolved my burden by using my handgun…and shot myself on the left shoulder – the same spot where I'd shot my captain – to feel his pain. I didn't even think such an action would've permanently ended my shooting career."
Riza kept walking despite the tears forming in the corner of her hazel eyes. Riza remembered her long rehabilitation period to recuperate her shoulder while her team was deployed in other missions without her, leaving her at the hospital alone and in physical and emotional pain. Sakura could feel the hot tears landing on her arm and despite her exhaustion, tried to comfort her friend.
"You were lucky: lucky your arm – and your heart – recovered after he understood and forgiven you, lucky you get to choose this path because you wanted to and not out of tragic circumstances, and lucky you've never had to bear the burden of taking a human life."
Riza nodded solemnly and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Again you and I are polar opposites. Nevertheless we are the best of friends and surrogate sisters. I'd never regretted meeting you, Sakura. I'm sorry things had to turn out this way…but there's nothing else I can do for you."
Sakura felt like her heart (or what's left of it) being squeezed from her role model's genuine words, the few good things Sakura had heard somebody say to her in a long time.
"Don't be sorry, Riza. Luck was never on my side, anyways. I knew someday this was where I'd wound up."
Riza didn't realize they'd just arrived to their destination. As they reached the tombstone, Sakura asked Riza one last question: "What would you do if you really had to take a human life."
Riza paused for only a moment, "To be honest, unlike you I wouldn't feel like I'd done a wicked deed. I'd know that I'd killed someone for Mustang-san's sake and safety."
Riza helped Sakura stand on her own once they stood before the stone. The two soldiers looked at each other square in the eye.
"It was an honor training with you, Haruno-kun. Good luck."
"Thank you, Hawkeye-sempai."
They knew this was where they'll go their separate ways and so formal farewell with the formalities would be better; more honorable and able to cope better. As a final gesture of respect and farewell, Riza saluted the lesser-ranked soldier which genuinely surprised Sakura. Such humble gesture moved Sakura so much she gave the same gesture with equal heart despite her muscles shutting down.
It was time to go. Riza somberly walked out of the dreary property, never dared looking back. A goodbye means goodbye and a soldier must move on to fight another battle. Riza looked up towards the sky where it was as black and somber.
"I wonder if Roy is already at home..."
Once Riza was far from her sight, Sakura finally turned towards the slab of stone that marked the deaths of her parents – the people whom Sakura tried to redeem herself. Exhaustion fully seeped in when Sakura fell upon her knees. This was the place that marked her crimes and a constant reminder of her marred past. As the afternoon autumn sky became darker, sounds of howling winds became stronger, making this cemetery even drearier.
"I told myself to only cry for no one else but the two of you and only when I'm here to see you. I'd told myself to only cry on the days of your passing. I know you have expectations from me, but these three things are the only things I could keep. I'm very sorry…mom and dad."
Tears gradually leaked from Sakura's dulled eyes as icy droplets plopped onto her pale skin. Droplets turned to heavy downpour as the cold water pelted down on the woman. She didn't even feel the frigid water mixing with her warm stinging tears as they formed tiny rivulets on her cold pale cheeks.
"I couldn't keep my promise to him. Not even one single promise. Instead of helping him, I cut him really deep, hurting myself in the process. His bitterness towards me cuts even deeper."
Sakura took no heed to the growing storm. And then the sound of thunder rumbled nearby to join the raging wind and the stinging rain. Her words were almost incoherent when she croaked out her heart's deepest pain.
"I saw that look in his eyes to know he felt ashamed of his inaction and my poor decisions. I was more ashamed of myself than he was at me – ashamed I made the same mistakes I did back then. What kind of person am I, unable to even help the very last person alive that meant everything…when I already lost the two of you?"
A blinding yet terrifying lightning flashed, making the cemetery eerily like morning for only a flicker of a lightbulb. And once the apocalyptic thunder unleashed its might, she lets go. She was finally letting go what weighed her down for the entire day and all the baggage she'd been carrying for years.
Sakura finally sobbed and cried. With that heartwrenching cry, Sakura lost what's left of her energy. As soon as she gave out her last croaked cry, Sakura collapsed onto the soggy ground, like her body's "power switch" had instantaneously shut down. Her body laid there motionless as the icy rain continue to prick her like needles. As Sakura closed her eyes in exhaustion, the heavy rain and her giant river of unnoticed tears formed muddy puddles on the now-spongy earth.
The angry look on Jiraiya's face was enough for Team Kakashi to know one thing: they're screwed – big time. They've never seen that look on their leader before, with the blinding lightning seen from the window next to him adding a much scarier effect.
"What the HELL happened! The reason why I entrusted this mission to you was because you've never failed before. How could you've failed this mission? Do you have any idea what sort of mess you've brought upon us by letting one harmless old man killed?!"
The three subordinates cringed when the man banged his desk in fury. For the past two seemingly endless days, they barely uttered a word to each other or even slept much. This moment was the moment they dreaded most because they'd never imagined being in this position. This was the first time they'd ever failed a mission and now this felt like Judgment Day as they await their punishment.
"Not talking, eh? Well you'll know soon enough once I demote the three of you."
That snapped them out of their stupor. Naruto was visibly outraged and so were Sasuke and Sai. They were expecting some sort of consequential action…but not this.
"You can't demote us! You just promoted us!"
"You should be thanking me for only demoting you three. Usually with such failures you three would've gotten yourselves a front seat at the Tribunal. You better give me good reasons why I shouldn't implicate any of you."
Defeated, Naruto stepped back while Sasuke clenched his fists and trying to hold back his anger. Kakashi decided it was time to intervene before it gets ugly.
"Actually, Commander, there are a few reasons but I have to discuss them with you privately."
Jiraiya looked into the captain's eye for a moment, analyzing him with suspicion.
"Rest of you, out!"
As the three subordinates stiffly exited the office, Jiraiya gave an exasperated sigh before he gave Kakashi a sympathetic look.
"I'm sorry what had happened, Kakashi. Are you feeling alright after all this? I still remembered what your father went through when he got himself into this same situation."
"Don't worry, I'm alright. My circumstances were a bit different than his. And besides, I've changed since then."
Kakashi then took out his report file. "My report here explains everything. But if you're concerned about who's responsible for this catastrophe, then it's a very complicated matter. The situation we got into was beyond any of our control and as much as I hate to admit it, but Tazuna's fate was sealed. The mission was almost impossible to succeed."
"That's a bold statement you're giving. Explain." Jiraiya folded his arms
"We expected a few small Chimeras here and there, but we got more than we bargained for. Not only were we attacked by Leapers, but also Slipskulls, Howlers, and even a Titan chasing us."
Jiraiya almost fell off his chair.
"Impossible! Chimeras of that size would've been easily spotted and immediately killed by the border patrollers. How could they be INSIDE the Triangle?!"
"That's not all. It seems these creatures had been lingering in that area for a long period of time. When the enemy ambushed us, they executed the attack with ruthless efficiency – using the surrounding environment to their advantage. That could mean they'd been spying on us and were familiar with the area. And that Titan we ran into turned a 500 hectare of forest into a barren wasteland. That would've taken months!"
"But how did they get past the patrollers? And how could Chimeras of such caliber linger right in our own backyard without our knowledge, even when multiple teams and squads in past missions had passed that area? Something's not right."
"I don't know what's really happening but think about it: how is this connected with past police reports of Menials attacking civilians inside the dome? Either someone is committing negligence on duty or there's something much more sinister none of us could ever predicted."
"You're right; this is difficult, finding the right person accountable. And all this stuff is in the report? You do know Tsunade and the top brass will be reading this, right? This could be a huge political firestorm you're brewing." Jiraiya nervously chuckled.
"But how could I ignore such a thing? Our country is at stake!"
"If only we knew what they are doing out there in our own territory. It can't be an invasion; at this rate, they could've done that whenever they wanted. What are they planning?"
"I don't know but I think Sakura's report might be a good start on this investigation. After our team got separated, Sakura was probably the only other person fully conscious throughout the ordeal. She may have seen something the rest of us haven't."
"I wish things are as simple as that, Kakashi."
"What do you mean?"
"Root hasn't sent in your combat medic's report yet. Either she hasn't sent it to Root or Root is trying to cover-up something after reading it. If it's the former, then something horrible must've happened to Haruno; she's supposed to submit her report 24 hours after returning; it's been two days since you've returned."
"And if it's the latter?" Kakashi's eye narrowed, fearing the worst as he watched the grim look on his superior's face.
"Then God help us."
Sasuke was feeling absolutely miserable, depressed, angry, and frustrated, in that unarranged order. The miserable weather wasn't helping, either. As the B4s waited outside Jiraiya's office, Sasuke tiredly leaned against the cold moist window to ease his stiff back. After letting out all his angry steam toward Sakura two days ago, Sasuke still felt like an empty void. In fact, he felt guilty and acted like a spoiled sensitve brat. In simple terms, he felt even worse after telling Sakura off. It accomplished nothing.
"But she deserved that. So why am I still feeling so out of place…like I haven't accomplished anything?"
Then again Sasuke really hadn't accomplished anything. He was unable to meet Kakashi's order of protecting Tazuna, allowing Sakura that huge responsibility by herself on her very first mission. But because of Sakura's selfish decision to not continue the mission, the mission failed catastrophically: an innocent man died unjustly, they failed the nation, they threatened the future of the nation, and the rank they worked so hard for was tarnished.
Sasuke briefly glanced at Naruto and Sai. Each man was in his own personal space and had been that way since they'd returned to Konoha two days ago. The men haven't spoken to each other since returning and that also meant avoiding each other day and night. Basically, their team had fallen apart. It would only be a matter of time when the powder keg exploded.
"You know what? – this is all your fault, bastard! You should've went with Tazuna-san instead of her! What were you thinking?!"
Naruto pointed at Sasuke accusingly. The tension between the three had finally reached a boiling point.
"Oh really?" Sasuke replied sarcastically, "I wasn't the one who was unconscious during the latter half of that mission when we're attacked! All you and that jackass did was to make a diversion."
"Then what this I'm hearing about you giving your assignment to that inexperienced hag when that wasn't even her assignment?" Sai ask snidely as his own anger building up as he shoved Naruto behind to confront the Uchiha.
"Hey! Who do you think you are?-"
"Oh so you're blaming me for all this?! Well you didn't give a flying fuck to bother telling me about her true assignment! So what were you doing while she and I were trying to make things right? – Oh that's right! You were poisoned shitless by some gas your pathetic lungs couldn't hold up!"
Sai grabbed Sasuke by the collar, "I dare you to say that again!"
The powder keg exploded. The three young adults began grabbing each other by the collar – or anywhere else on the body – kicking, shoving, and even exchanging a few punches. This was the only viable way to resolve their frustration and anger at each other…and their own inadequacies.
"What're you doing?!"
The trio's brief scuffle was interrupted when Kakashi and Jiraiya abruptly entered the hallway. The trio suddenly became nervous, having their superiors seeing them in such immature behavior.
"Have any of you seen Sakura?"
The trio was genuinely surprised when Kakashi didn't inquire further about their immature tantrum. The three of them looked at each other, searching for answers about Kakashi's sudden concern over the most troublesome "member" of this team. And by the looks of it, Kakashi was growing increasingly concerned by their silence and so was Jiraiya.
"This does not look good for Japan, Kakashi."
Kakashi looked very uneasy and upset as he continued to look into his subordinates in the eye, "How could you three not know of Sakura's whereabouts?! How could you've forgotten the one person who'd risked her life and limb to save the three of you from death? If it weren't for Sakura, I would've been burying the three of you in your designated graves by now! Where is your sense of honor?!"
The trio lowered their heads in self-disappointment, realizing their own faults. All this time they were lashing out at each other's errors, particularly about Sakura, only to found themselves blindsided by blaming each other.
Seeing they'd come to their senses, Kakashi spoke, "We don't know what had happened to her but Jiraiya and I suspected something horrible had happened to her…and it might not be an 'accident.' We need to find Sakura and get her in this office ASAP. Is that clear?"
"Yes captain!"
As the trio dashed towards the exit, Jiraiya looked at the cracked window created during the fight, leaving the hallway exposed to the brutal inclement weather. The glass splinters looked like beautiful crystals coated with a tiny dot of blood. "I think you should contact Sakura's former instructor to see if he'd seen her. I'm going to contact Tsunade right away. A cover-up or not, this is a serious matter."
Jiraiya noticed the crestfallen look on Kakashi's eye. Jiraiya knew immediately what was bothering his protégé and placed a confident squeeze on the captain's shoulder, "Don't worry Kakashi. I have faith in your students. This will not be another Hatake Sakumo-case."
"But I couldn't take care of Captain Ikichi's daughter like I'm supposed to. I've never felt so powerless before. I should've comforted her after that botched mission…but I just choked and couldn't mutter a single word of encouragement to her. If only I had stepped up and explain everything to her…things wouldn't be tragic as this."
Jiraiya frowned as he looked at the relentless storm within the room, leaving the walls, furniture, and carpet soaked and covered with dead leaves.
"No...it's not over until it's over."
"Sakura! Sakura!"
The sound of furious thunder and lightning out-volume Sasuke's desperate cries for the missing girl. He and the others had searched almost half of Konoha for Sakura in the pouring rain and still no signs of her. As the rain continued to heavily pour, Sasuke knew the situation did not look good for her.
And for some reason, this foreign fear of Sakura's unknown whereabouts was weighing Sasuke down like a pile of bricks as his imagination become darker.
"Stop! You're not supposed to worry about Sakura! Nothing happened to her! Just find her and don't panic!"
Sasuke was thankful his cell's vibration interrupted his thoughts.
"Got anything, Uchiha?" Sai asked from the other line.
Sasuke answered with a disgruntled "No".
Naruto called from another line.
"Hinata-chan hadn't heard from her, neither. This weather has been really bad these two days and if Sakura-chan's out there somewhere-"
"I know, Naruto!" Sasuke snapped. "If we were her, where would we go under these circumstances?"
"You're asking me, Sasuke? None of us know her that well so how should I know where she would've gone to? If only we could get a glimpse of her mind…what do you think, Sasuke?"
And then that insidious fear inside him moments earlier had finally sank into reality. This weather, Sakura's disappearance – it all ties back to that one dream…the one nightmare that gave Sasuke the coldest of sweat a few nights ago. Only one place immediately came to mind now that his inner fears were brought out.
"No….no she can't be serious about doing that, is she?-"
"Uchiha are you-"
"Call an ambulance!"
Sasuke hung up the phone and dashed towards the isolated and creaky iron gates that marked the entrance of a cemetery. Sasuke hadn't visited this place for years and so he had difficulty trying to find the proper grave. As Sasuke tread through the giant rain puddles and tombstones, the adrenaline rushed through his veins when he realized this placed and setting looked exactly like that final climatic moment in his terrifying dream….
And soon Sasuke's heart missed a few beats at the sight before him.
Right before him in the heaviest of melancholy rainpour was Sakura, lying in a giant wet circle of muddied water and unmoving. Sakura's skin was as white as a sickly ghost and looked even whiter when powerful lightning flashed. The woman was so pale her once-exuberant pink hair now looked like deathly-calm lavender. Sakura's unconscious form laid before a small monument Sasuke remembered in horrific detail in his nightmare:
In Remembrance of Haruno Ikichi and His Beloved Haruno-Yukishiro Kasumi
"SAKURA!!"
Sound the bugle now - play it just for me
As the seasons change - remember how I used to be
Now I can't go on - I can't even start
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart
I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here
THE END!!
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OF THE REUNION ARC!!
Next Arc: Reflection
Theme Jukebox: "Sound the Bugle" by Bryan Adams
NB: The jukebox song represents the entire Reunion Arc (chpt1-7) like an OP/ED theme of sorts. You'd probably guess this story will be long since I made such an arrangement. I like to play this song while reading the chpts. I'm not a musician but I love music and my fanfics were inspired by what music I listen to. So I totally recommend you guys to listen the song as your read.
As for Sakura's fate, I know, I'm sooooooo evil (hides evil laughter)! What can I say?
Please provide your offerings to CrAzY-SiLLy-Me for being the brain cells behind this magnificent story! Please contribute here as well by offering any corrections that you think should be here (besides the ending)!
