A very big THANKS to Bee93! You will always be my first reviewer :D

Again, the Twilight characters are Stephenie Meyers', not mine.

And Mariah Carey is definitely not mine either ;p

BPOV

To say that school today is bad is such an understatement.

Today was calamitous. It's horribly tragic.

After my bumpy moments with Lauren at the parking lot this morning, I thought the worse was over and I can boldly face the thorns this day will throw my way. Oh boy, I was so dead wrong.

First, my English professor made us write our thoughts on Romeo and Juliet and what we think they could have done to "save" their doomed romance. As expected, I came up blank. I mean, I wasn't able to find a solution to my own doomed romance, so how I will be able to throw a suggestion that would eventually result to positive outcomes is undeniably out of the question. At about ten minutes before our papers were due, mine was still as clean and untouched as the day it was created from an unfortunate tree. At the last minute, I decided to just write what I felt. After all, submitting a full-page of honestly written pessimistic and slightly morbid thoughts is always better than submitting a blank one, right? I just yakked on about taking everything as it is; that maybe Romeo and Juliet, try as they may, cannot do anything to save their relationship simply because it's just destined to fail. I even added a little note saying that if I would be given the blessed opportunity to meet Shakespeare in the afterlife, I would ask him what the hell he was thinking when he wrote a story about the glory, splendor and magnificence of true love, only to have them die at the end because of it. And not to mention, terribly breaking the readers' hearts. My ever-buoyant professor would surely shit bricks. It would surely surprise him that the well-behaved daughter of the town's chief-of-police could come up with not-so-sanguine views. I'll have to ready myself for my first F, I thought indifferently.

In my Trigonometry class, the teacher called on me to give the correct answer when I wasn't paying attention. He called on me, not one, not twice, but thrice. As in three effin' times. I mean, seriously, can't he simply process the fact that I'm in no mood to listen to his monologue about tangents and move on to his other unsuspecting victims, namely my other classmates who were ducking their heads in order to avoid any eye contact with him? And to make matters worse, I was completely feeble since I left my trustworthy scientific calculator on my study table at home. He shook his head to me grumpily, but decided that he would be lenient today- his words, not mine. He warned me and the whole class never come to Trigonometry lessons unarmed, well in this case, calculator-less. I, on the other hand, was just relieved that he didn't condemn me to detention. Huh, that would've been a first. And if that happens, it would be Charlie who would shit bricks., I chuckled to myself humorlessly. I suppose high grades and clean records go a long way with professors.

Then in my History class, I was called to the front of the room to discuss the role of powerful couples in shaping history as it came to be. I ranted mindlessly about Ceasar's "love" for Cleopatra that he willingly allowed her to keep her own dynasty instead of conquering her land, but apparent it still wasn't enough because he was unable to marry her even if his own wife and family had been knowledgeable about their affair. I also extensively discussed King Henry VIII's supposed "love" for Catherine of Aragorn, his first wife, that he saved her from disgrace when her husband, his brother and rightful king, suddenly dies, only to have her banished when a fresh piece of meat came along. I spoke heatedly as well about his "love" for Anne Boleyn, the fresh piece of meat and his second wife, that he changed a whole religion just to marry her and make her his new queen, only to have her beheaded when she failed to provide him a son and heir to his throne. I briefly discussed his succeeding marriages to different women, four to be exact, which all ended in either death or banishment. Hell, I think I even mentioned Adam and Eve, their perfect world, and how quick it was for him to point his finger at her when they were about to be evicted from the Garden of Eden.

When I finished my tirade, the class was totally silent. I was surprised to see that my classmates were gawking at me with eyes as wide as saucers. Most of them also had their mouths hanging open. Even the teacher was slack-jawed. He eventually cleared his throat and finally asked me to take my seat again. "Uh, you have quite interesting points, Miss Swan.", he stammered out after I was seated. I was sure my face was turning an unhealthy shade of scarlet as I realized that I may have said too much, and my classmates were all very aware of what, or who, may have been the cause of my outburst. Thankfully, the bell signaling for lunch came on and I hurried out to the bathroom to splash some cold water to my burning face.

After a few deep breaths, I was a lot calmer and my face was not as hot as before. I glanced at the mirror and saw that the red had indeed subsided and my face was almost back to its pale shade. I really got to hand it to you., I mockingly thought to my reflection. Just when you thought you were so screwed beyond recognition, you had to step up the game and screw yourself even further. Wow, I should be in the Guinness Book of World Records, the title holder for messing up her whole life single-handedly over and over again. My name would be there for a long time, since I doubt that anyone can top me and my remarkable performance. Of course! I mean, I put the "ass" in embarrassment. Without a doubt, I can never walk in that room again without my face burning red.

I swaggered out of the bathroom and walked along the empty corridor. Everyone's now in the cafeteria, and my impromptu flared-up speech could now be topic of discussions. I tried to push this thought at the back of my mind, because if I didn't, I will never have the muscle to enter that damn room.

Sure enough, as soon as I stepped inside, hushed whispers could be heard from anywhere and everywhere. Thankfully, there were no more students at the lunch line so I managed to grab a bottle of water and quickly head down to my friends' table.

I sat beside Angela, and she instantly threw me a worried glance. "Are you alright, Bells? We, uh, we heard what happened.". She was studying my face, so I just nodded my head. "I'm fine, Ange. I think I'll survive.", I uttered jokingly. Angela can read me easily, and right now, she definitely knows that I'm everything but fine. But like Charlie, she never hovered over me so she just nodded back to me and dropped the subject. But then again, Lauren had other ideas. "So I heard it was the most interesting English class that Forks High had in ages. Any chance of a repeat performance?", she was smiling sweetly at me, as if she was telling me an effin' compliment. I just rolled my eyes at her and uncapped my bottle of water. I drank heartily, suddenly thirsty. "Don't get your hopes up.", I muttered to the table while twisting the cap back on the bottle. "Sheesh! Thank God for that!", Jess exhaled loudly while making a show of wiping imaginary sweat off her forehead. Everyone at the table laughed, and even I chuckled at her. Gotta love Jessica freakin' Stanley. Yes, she may not be the most mature person to share serious conversations with, but she definitely knows how to ward off tense situations.

"You're not going to eat, Bella?", Eric asked, pointing to my half empty bottle of water. He was sitting directly across from me, so he pushed his plate of fries towards me and told me to get some. "No, I really don't have an appetite today. Thanks, Eric." He just shrugged his shoulders and took his plate back.

"Hey, you're not gonna bail out on us tonight, are you?", Tyler asked me while munching on his cheese stick. Before I could answer him, I heard groans and whines from everyone around the table- well, from everyone except Lauren, that is. I looked at my friends and just like at lunch yesterday, I was greeted by a hodgepodge of comical faces. Angela looked worried, and Ben was frowning at me. Jessica was pouting and putting on her best sad puppy look while Mike was staring at me with his cheeks bloated, his mouth filled with a bite of the cheeseburger he was currently devouring. Eric was staring at me while trying to dip his fry into a pool of ketchup, but missing it by a few inches. Tyler was still munching on his cheese stick, unconsciously squeezing it too tight that melted cheese oozed from the bottom and landed on his navy blue shirt. And Lauren, well, Lauren was studying her nails.

I laughed silently and shook my head. "I said I didn't have an appetite for lunch. I never said anything about bailing out tonight." I took another drink from my bottle and heard Jess squeal and clap her hands. The others released a collective sigh and continued eating. I heard a faint snort from Lauren, but a quick look at her told me she was smiling a little as well. And it wasn't a sneer or anything close to it which can be automatically expected from her. It was a hint of a genuine smile.

Huh, Lauren. Is. Smiling. Sincerely. Well, that's surprising. "Sheesh! Thank God for that!" Ben imitated Jess' theatrics earlier which caused us all to laugh, and Jess stealing a fry from Eric's plate to throw at Ben.

After a few more minutes, the bell rang and we hurriedly walked to our respective classrooms. I wobbled my way to my Physics class, and slumped down on my seat. Just like in Biology class last year, the teacher had us in pairs and we'll have to share a table with our lab partner. When classes began, nobody was surprised when I had inherited my former Biology lab partner as my new Physics lab partner. And when that student, along with his pixie-like sister who eventually became my best friend and their whole impossibly beautiful family, moved away from Forks a couple of weeks later, no one really had the guts to take his position.

Damn it, Bella! You're stepping on dangerous grounds for the millionth time today.

I looked back at my friends' hilarious faces during lunch in order to prevent myself from crying my eyes out. In the middle of Physics class, no less. It may seem that I hang out with my friends just to pass the time and get Charlie off my back. Honestly speaking, that is not the case. I was, and still am, very much grateful that I have people like them to make my agonizing days bearable. I can't help but compare them to one of those boxes of assorted chocolates; some are extra milky, some are too sweet, some are bitter, and some are just the right combination of richness and texture. They are merry and outgoing people, and they offer spontaneity that introverts like me categorically needs. And when things go far too crazy or out of hand, I could always turn to Angela to bring me back to my senses. I can't even bring myself to dare to imagine what I would be like right now if they also turned their backs to me when I was floundering around with my devastatingly broken self. I mean, to give your whole heart away to someone, and have the rug under you pulled by that certain someone coldly, no pun intended, aren't atrocious enough, suffering through those alone will surely be worse than hell. I know, I know. I'm kind of the more suffer-in-silence type, but it certainly doesn't hurt to have shoulders to lean on when things go too excruciatingly bad.

I almost jumped when the bell rang again. The hour flew by just like that and I didn't even hear a word spoken in class. But then again, being the studious human being that I am, I always read chapters ahead so that won't be a problem, not to sound cocky or anything. I guess I'll just have to ask one of my classmates if the teacher gave us any assignments.

It turned out that the teacher only reminded us of our paper being due next week, which of course I had already finished writing last weekend, and he didn't leave us any homework as his "gift" to us. I trudged out of the building and was greeted by the soft afternoon drizzle. I pondered on the gift comment for a while but decided to just disregard it. I entered the gym and instantly groaned when I saw that the school crew chose to take down the usual and uniform window blinds and put up red silk and satin curtains instead. Damn, why do they bother with this stuff? It's not like students come here to admire their decorations, it's more like we come here to sweat our bums off and pass another compulsory class.

Geez, I abhor Gym. And that is one way of putting it lightly. If I was born a little more hard core, that statement would come with a set of colorful expletives that will put any sailor stuck in the ocean for decades to shame. For someone as physically uncoordinated as me, Gym classes are the literal hell of every high school. My face was always burning red hot that others can swear they would be able to fry an egg on it. As if bruising myself or landing flat on my ass aren't awful enough, I, most of the time, cause injuries to my unfortunate classmates and to the other gym class that we shared the venue with as well. I once single-handedly managed to end our class half an hour before the bell rang by playing volleyball, and in the process, bestowing a concussion, a bloody lip, couple of sprained ankles, an unhealthy amount of scraped elbows and knees and a generous number of bruises upon my unlucky classmates. I could also conclude that I left our Gym teacher with a throbbing migraine.

Gratefully, we now moved on to table tennis. I was relieved that we were now dealing with a sport that is not as action-packed as the usual. I mean, now, the ball was as almost as light as a feather and all you have to do is run around the freakin' table to deflect it with a small paddle. I wouldn't mess up something as easy as that, right?

Wrong! Being Bella Swan for the past eighteen years, I should have known that can I mess anything up. The ball is indeed light, thus making it faster than I can follow it with my eyes, and my sorry excuse for hand-and-eye coordination didn't help any. The paddle is indeed small, but it was made of rubber and wood, thus making it heavy. As I swung my right arm to hit the ball, I realized that I underestimated my grip on the paddle, but it was too late. It flew out from my hand and went sailing into the air, then smacked the left arm of the boy who was playing beside our table. He just smiled sadly at me and waved a hand to brush off my apology. He was either already expecting that something like this would happen since he was standing just a few feet away from me, or that he's thankful that he was able to survive with just a bruised arm, rather than to be carried out on a stretcher.

And of course, my day wouldn't be complete if I didn't gain any battle wound. The table, like any other rectangular tables, had corners. Sharp, pointy effin' corners. As I ran to the other end of my side to strike the miniature ball, the corner of the table poked a part of my hip. I tried to ignore the little pain, but it happened again. Twice, might I add? That effin' corner poked the same spot on my hip thrice. I can just picture the big ugly bruise already starting to form there. But then again, nothing surprising there. The bruises and my body are like peanut butter and jelly. It's like the two should never be separated. If I was given a dollar for every physical misfortune that I have acquired since the day I was born, I could possibly be one of the richest people in the state of Washington.

Gym class ended without any more injury. I headed to the locker room to change and tried my best to ignore the other girls who were excitedly talking about something being "new". I exited the gym and headed back to the parking lot, eager to get to my homey truck. On my way there, I passed by Tyler's and saw that the whole gang gathered there. They waved me over and when I was near enough, Tyler shoved a jar of Red Vines candy at me, knowing fully that it was my favorite. The main reason why we opted to hang out by his vehicle is that his truck, like his previous van, is always fully loaded with sweets and goodies. It's like he never runs out of it. The others always teased him that if he maximized his truck and used its bed as a candy store, he could make a fortune. He always declined the idea and stated that his candies are "exclusively for him and his people alone".

"Did you already tell Charlie that we're going out tonight?", Jessica asked me while sucking on a lollipop. "Yeah, I told him last night", I nodded, "but it might have slipped his mind so I'll just leave him a note or something." From the corner of my eye, I saw Lauren nod as well. "Good. At least we all won't face a Spanish Inquisition, Chief-of-Police style.", she said in a tone I hadn't heard her use on me before. It wasn't a scoff or a sneer. Her tone was normal. I looked at her momentarily, and then looked at my friends. They didn't seem to notice anything. I just nodded my head again, still a little confused.

"Bells, I'm going to pick up Ange later. Around ten minutes before five. Want us to pick you up as well? Your house won't really be out of the way anyway.", Ben asked while I chomped down my second Red Vine. "Yup. That sounds good.", I agreed. Really, there's no reason for us to crowd the parking space of the Newton's Store with our cars, especially if we're not going to be there in the first place anyway.

I listened to my friends' chatter for a while before I went to my truck. "I gotta go. I'll have to make Charlie his dinner before we leave." I grabbed two more Red Vines and handed the jar back to Tyler. "Don't forget, Bella!", Jess shouted as I walked away, "We'll be leaving at five!" I didn't turn around but gave her a thumbs-up sign, never taking my eyes off the ground. I heard my friends' laughter as I drove away.

I parked my truck in front of our house, and my eyes immediately darted to the path that leads to the woods. The woods where he revealed that everything I believed in was basically a lie. We, what we shared between us, had just been a lie; just another one of the many distractions he needed in his timeless existence. With the realization that everything between us has gone far too complicated to handle, he moved himself and his family away. Losing the man I love is agonizing, and losing the people that I have come to love as a second family on the same occasion is like pouring salt to my open wounds. I guess I can say that I would take the excruciating pain of James' venom any day, rather than experience that dreadful event ever again.

I got hold of myself before the tears on my eyes fell. I took a deep breath and cut the engine which was still idling noisily. Good thing Charlie isn't here yet., I thought, he'll definitely know you were taking a walk down the damned memory lane again.

I got out of the truck and walked carefully to the front door, still taking deep breaths. By the time I got to the kitchen, I had regained my composure. Well, as composed as I'll ever be. I checked the cupboards and the fridge, looking for something I could cook quickly. I decided to make simple spaghetti and meatballs and some garlic bread to come with it. I also made a mental note to visit the grocery store tomorrow.

I got to work and finished in no time. I set the bowl at the table, waiting the food to cool down before putting it in the fridge. I washed the utensils using the new dishwasher Charlie had bought, remembering his face when he first showed it to me when I came home from school one day. He'd said, and I quote, "I guess it's time for me to help out in the kitchen, so, erm, I bought a dishwasher. The saleslady picked that one out. She said it's easy to operate and really durable." I can't help but smile at my father's dry sense of humor. By "help out", he didn't mean that he himself would actually work. What he meant was purchasing a machine that would make me accomplish my tasks faster. To top that off, he had to get a "really durable" one that could hopefully survive encounters with me and my not-so-graceful ways.

I dried off my hands and noticed that the living room could use some tidying up. After arranging Charlie's newspapers into a neat stack, everything was in its rightful place. The couch looks ready to welcome Charlie's weight, the coffee table looks spotless clean, and so does the flatscreen TV. The three material things Charlie couldn't live without, aside from his shotgun and pistol, that is. He would no doubt eat in here, because aside from the fact that he'll be eating alone, there'll be some "awesome" baseball game airing tonight.

I reined in my Obsessive-Compulsive self and decided to take a short shower. A glance at the clock told me that Ben and Angela will be picking me up in half an hour so I have enough time to spare. I went back to the kitchen and put the bowl of spaghetti in the fridge. I retrieved my backpack from one of the chairs where I unceremoniously dumped it earlier and headed up to my room.

I dropped my keys to my bedside table and deposited my bag to its designated spot on the chair facing my study table. I grabbed my small leather Gucci tote bag that Renee had given me for Christmas last year. I never wanted to use it because it's a designer and really expensive, but I didn't have a choice since it was the smallest bag I own. Just like before, my parents and Phil decided to nonchalantly ignore my aversion to receiving expensive gifts, expensive being the key word there. I have learned before that no storm can ever stop them from throwing gifts my way so I simply dealt with it and graciously thanked them. But receiving gifts is one thing, and receiving pricey ones is another.

Last Christmas, Renee and Phil came to Forks to spend time with us. Surprisingly, spending time together with my father, my mother and her new husband isn't as awkward as I thought it would be, or at least that's what I think when I look back into it.

At that time I was so out of it that I don't even remember what I had prepared for our Christmas dinner. It was like my body was on autopilot. I didn't have the sense or the energy to bitch around when I discovered my mom gave me the designer bag, or when I opened my gift from Phil and saw that he got me the latest model of cell phone which had a radio, a camera and built-in Wi-Fi on it. Hell, I didn't even throw a fit when I laid my eyes on Charlie's gift for me, and it was a new Mac laptop. Instead, I thanked them using a soft and calm voice, the exact opposite of the tantrums they were expecting. By the looks on their faces, they didn't know if they should be happy that I gratefully accepted their gifts for me without freaking out on them, or they should be worried that there is certainly something wrong.

I grabbed the phone from my back pocket and threw it in the ridiculously expensive tote. I also put in my wallet and set of keys before zipping it close. I headed to the bathroom down the hall with my toiletries at hand and took a second shower for the day.

After showering, I threw on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a long-sleeved green shirt that Jessica had blackmailed me into buying when we went out shopping in Port Angeles. She had insisted something about it being perfect for me, and since she wouldn't let it go, I bought the freakin' shirt just to shut her up. I decided to just let my hair dry naturally as I laced on my black Chucks. I took my favorite black hoodie- which was two sizes too large for me, much to Jess' dismay- from my closet and snatched the tote from the bed before going downstairs. I left Charlie a note on the fridge, reminding him of my plans for tonight, and telling him to just reheat the spaghetti I made and that the garlic bread was in the oven. I glanced at the clock again and saw that it was already quarter to five. Sure enough, not even five minutes later, I heard a car pull up.

I went outside and locked the door. When I slid myself in Ben's backseat, I was greeted by his and Angela's matching grinning faces. "Ready to party, Bells? We are gonna have fun tonight!", Ben asked while he drove, still grinning. I smiled back at him through the rearview mirror. I like Ben as much as I like Angela. They really made a great couple. "Shut it, Ben.", I joked, "You're beginning to sound like Jess." Angela giggled at my remark. Ben, with his blessed sense of humor, whined as if I had hurt his feelings. "Oh no, I do not!", he shrieked, perfectly imitating Jess' whiny defensive voice, which made me truly laugh.

Angela and I regained our bearings as we parked in front of the store. We saw that Jessica's car was already parked beside Tyler's truck. With Jess picking Lauren up from her house, Eric riding with Tyler, and Mike waiting for us in their store, we were the last group to arrive. We got out of Ben's car and walked to the door which Eric held open for us.

"What took you guys so long? I was just a second away from calling you, Bella. I thought you were going to back out or something. Really, I should have picked you…", She trailed off while Ben, Ange and I began chuckling, remembering Ben's uncanny imitation of her voice. "And what is so funny? Care to share it with us?", she inquired grouchily, both hands on her hips.

Knowing Ben, he'll more of show to the gang what's funny, instead of just tell. And with Jess' already grumpy mood because of our tardiness, we'll never hear the end of it. I hurriedly spoke before Ben could open his mouth. "I already told you at lunch that I'm not backing out. And besides, you said five, and we still had two minutes to spare. So hold your horses."

Jessica was still frowning, but she dropped the subject nonetheless. From the corner of my eye, I saw Ben was still stifling a laugh, which surely caused Ange to hit him lightly on the arm. Yeah, Ben can amuse us some other time.

I noticed that, like me, my friends also took the time to freshen up themselves. They are now wearing different clothes from the ones they used earlier today at school. I particularly noted that Tyler was no longer wearing the navy blue shirt with the cheese stains, and that Jessica was wearing the pink blouse which, according to her, "makes her boobs look good".

I raised an eyebrow at her when she met my eye again. She just giggled and winked back at me, her bad mood evaporating into thin air. "Come on guys, can we please get going, as in right now?" Lauren huffed as she started to stalk towards the door. We followed her outside, and I was a little puzzled when she went directly to Tyler's truck. Huh, I guess fate decided to spare me this time.

I slid in the backseat behind Jessica as she started her car and Angela seated herself beside me. Lauren walked towards our direction, her arms hugging something I couldn't make out clearly. Duh, of course fate wouldn't spare me. That is just plainly impossible. I fixed my gaze on the cluster of trees from across the street, their leaves dancing lightly due to the soft winds. How could something so peaceful and harmless star in my nightmare every night? Uh, well, I can actually think of a few explanations for that.

But I'm not going to go there.

I refuse to go there.

This night is for my friends, and I will not let anything ruin it for them, for us. I promised myself that I will do my best to enjoy this night no matter what. I owe this to them.

"Bella." I was brought out from my internal monologue by Lauren. I turned to look at her in the passenger seat, gauging what she wanted from me. After a couple of seconds just staring at each other, she finally rolled her eyes at me. "Just take it. I didn't mess with it or whatever. Took it from Tyler, didn't give him a chance to bitch about it."

It was then that I noticed that she was holding out the jar of Red Vines to me. So she fetched my favorite sweet for me? Wow, from Lauren, that is a really big thing, and not to mention puzzling. Jessica giggled as she pulled out from the store's parking lot. "Um, thanks." I took the jar from her awkwardly, as she turned to browse through a couple of Jess' CD's and eventually shoved one in the stereo. I looked at Angela quizzically, only to be greeted by a small, knowing smile.

Okay, this day is turning from hellish to baffling, and come to think about it, our night has just begun.

Ange and I chewed on our Red Vines, while the dynamic duo in front of us sang their poor lungs out. Jess and Lauren belted out their ghastly version of Mariah Carey's already-eardrum-shattering song, Heartbreaker.

Boy your love's so good
I don't wanna let go
And although I should
I can't leave you alone
Cause you're so disarming
I'm caught up in the midst of you
And I cannot resist at all
Boy if I do
The things you wanna to
The way I used to do
Could you love me baby
You leave me feelin' used
Cause you go and break my heart

I cringed visibly as they reached a painfully high note. On my right, Angela was sagged down on her seat, her right hand nursing her temple. We were most probably sporting identical headaches. Little did I know that the worst is yet to come.

And it came in the form of the chorus.

Heartbreaker, you've got the best of me
But I just keep on comin' back incessantly
Oh why did you have to run your game on me
I should have known right from the start

You'd go and break my heart

The chorus hit me. Hard. Especially the last two lines. I could almost swear this song was written for me.

Yeah, it never made sense for him to love me.

He was insanely beautiful, bequeathed with flawless poise and elegance, and gifted with phenomenal abilities.

I, on the other hand, was a plain human who couldn't even walk gracefully to save her life.

I plucked another candy from the jar which was settled between Ange and I. I opted to chew it steadily, buying myself some deep breaths so I wouldn't bawl out. I pushed the thoughts out from my head, keeping good on my promise to not letting anything ruin tonight. And I mean anything.

Still, amidst my greatest efforts, the last lines of the chorus kept coming back to me, as if mocking me for my naivety.

I should have known right from the start

You'd go and break my heart

I don't know if I wanted to give Mariah a hug for identifying my feelings so spot-on, or give her a lovely kick on her portly booty for rubbing it on my face further. I was more inclined on the latter.

In fact, I even want to give her a resounding slap to go with it.

What? Someone once taught me to do things thoroughly. I'm just putting into practice what I've learned.

Surely, I couldn't be blamed for that now…

Could I?

Reviews? Anyone? Thanks :D