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4. Snobs and Girls

Epov:

I walked over to her dresser slowly, carefully so that I didn't trip over clean air again and hurt myself. I really couldn't understand how she even managed to walk at all. I stood frozen at her dresser. I knew my dresser was neatly arranged but, girls are a completely new kind of species. Who knows what would stare me in the face if I open that door. I glanced around at her room, which seemed to be in some kind of order. All her books where scattered on her desk, her schoolbag lay forgotten in the corner and next to her bed was a single bedside table with a small golden lamp on it. Under her lamp were some more books. Her room wasn't neat but at least she wasn't like Alice who believed the floor of her room counted as an extra closet.

OK Edward, if you can survive through endless encounters of wrestling sessions with a sweaty Emmett you can definitely survive dressing the girl of your dreams. So what, if you dreamed more about undressing her, than actually dressing her. This was no time to think about your fantasies.

I breathed in a big breath of air ignoring how the motion caused Bella's breasts to move outwards and pulled her closet door open. I stood there for a while just staring at the contents of her closet before the uncomfortable feeling in my lungs reminded me that I needed to breath. I must have been holding my breath in anticipation, her closet was neatly arranged but the thing that struck me was how little clothes she had. A few dozen shirts were folded neatly on the top shelf, the second shelf contained about the same amount of folded jeans and hanging loosely at the side of the shelves was an assortment of tops and jerseys. She had about three pairs of shoes.

Didn't girls have many clothes, especially shoes?

Alice's closet was almost bigger than her room and she had about two pair of shoes for every outfit she had. Maybe many clothes were just an Alice thing. I quit pondering about Alice and all her clothes when I noticed a big drawer below the bottom shelf. I slowly bent down to open it and shot back up when it just happened to be Bella's underwear drawer. I gulped heavily before I glanced back down, her underwear was folded in a neat pile and her socks were sorted by color in neat rows. Next to her socks was a pile of clothing that gave any male problems. I knew boys complained at school that the contraption at hand was the worst thing ever invented and getting it off their girlfriends was nearly impossible. I had no experience with girls whatsoever but getting a girl out of it wasn't my problem, I feared that getting one on a girl was definitely going to be my problem.

Well if girls could do it so could guys right? I slowly bent down and picked up a black bra, the material felt nice and soft. I rather liked the way it felt.

Crap, does this make me like some pervert?

What if I'm secretly gay? Or a cross dresser? Is that why I'm in Bella's body? "Stop it Edward." I said aloud to calm myself.

You are not gay, you like Bella. You've fantasized about Bella and Bella is a girl, there is no way in hell you are gay. She obviously did something that brought this on. Yeah, that's it she did something and she will just have to fix it. Now that you've figured out you're not gay and that Bella is to blame for your current situation maybe you can figure out how to put this thing on.

I held up the black garment in front of my eyes and frowned. "It can't be that hard." I said and placed it on the ground to remove Bella's nightshirt.

I quickly pulled her shirt over my head and without touching or looking at her boobs picked up her bra. I stuck my arm through one of the holes and my head through the other one. I was sidetracked when my hand accidentally brushed against her boob. I couldn't help but glance down, I haven't seen a lot of boobs and the one time I did see boobs it was in that stupid magazine Emmett brought to my house two years ago.

Those where big, oversized and done by some hotshot plastic surgeon who brainwashed the girl into believing that the bigger they are the more guys will like you. Bella's boobs where just the right size, normal size and they where just as velvety pale as the rest of her skin, except in the middle where they were a nice rose color. I choked when I suddenly dropped my arm into a strap of the bra that I was holding. It was caught around my throat and by admiring her boobs, I totally forgot about my current position. I quickly lifted my arm.

That's what you get for ogling a girl, you pervert!

I tried to untangle myself. Twenty minutes later, I was even more tangled up than before.

Screw it. If I can just untangle myself, I'm free styling it for the day.

I don't see the need for a bra anyway. I froze suddenly when I heard the room door open. Luckily, I was facing away from the window. Who the hell, would enter her room without knocking first? I was about to ask who it was, when I heard footsteps behind me and the sound of door closing again.

"What the hell, Edward?" I heard my male voice ask and I turned around and watched as Bella in my body stared wide-eyed at me. This was so freaking messed up I thought briefly as I remembered my dilemma.

"Bella thank God! Help me get out of this contraption." She just stared at me and started laughing. Great now I was the amusement. "This is not funny, are you going to help me or not?" My outburst caused her to laugh even harder, I had a pretty good sense of humor but I was struggling to see the fucking joke.

She walked over to me slowly. "Why are my breasts exposed to the whole world?" She asked as she began untangling me.

"I was trying to dress you and things just went haywire. How do you get dressed in these everyday?" I asked as she laughed finally freeing my arm.

"It takes some fine maneuvering but we girls just use our heads. Now turn around please, staring at my half-naked body is freaking me out. And don't look down!"

This is freaking you out! What do you think it's doing to me?

I thought as I was freed from the stupid small black contraption. I did as she asked and turned around. "If I may just say, they are really nice." I couldn't help but be sarcastic. I hated it when I was the subject of the joke. She smacked me on the back playfully.

"Shut up you pervert. Now I'm only going to show you this once, turn the bra inside out and connect the two pieces in front of you like this." Was that some sort of joke? I asked myself as she slid her arms around me and fastened the bra together. "Then turn it around until the two breast pieces are in front of you". She also did that part and then stepped away from me, "Now slip your arms through the arm holes and pull the straps up over your shoulders.

I did that and magically saw the bra covering and supporting my breasts.

Wait did I just say my breasts?

This was fucking messed up, I thought to myself as I turned around to face her. "Great why didn't I think of that? They should hand out a manual with these things." I said as she walked to her dresser. She took out some deodorant and threw it towards me. I quickly applied it without staring to long at her cleanly shaved armpit. Her skin looked so soft there.

"Look Edward, just tell me what you did that caused all of this so that I can fix it." She said as I took the shirt she was handing me.

"How many times must I say it before you listen to me, I didn't do a fucking thing." I said and pulled the shirt over my head.

"Then how do you explain this?" She asked as I glanced from her to the jeans in her hands. How was I supposed to ask the next question without sounding like a total idiot? "Oh for heavens sake Edward, just pull down the pajama pants and pull on the jeans. It's not rocket science."

I felt my face warm as blush crept across my cheeks "You are wearing underwear right?" I croaked out in barely a whisper.

She laughed again, "Yes." I sighed inwardly and pulled the pajama pants down halfway. I slipped out one foot and stepped on the pants maneuvering out of it. I didn't glance down once. First of all. I respected her privacy. Secondly, she only stood a few feet from me and thirdly, she was a guy now and could probably hit my head off. I grabbed the jeans and slipped them on. I straightened back up again in a hurry but forgot all about her clumsiness and toppled over.

I shot out my arms and once again forgetting I had an injured wrist took full impact on it. "Fuckit Bella you're like one big deathtrap." I nursed the wrist for a while and when most of the burning subsided, I took Bella's out stretched arm as she helped me of the floor.

"OK so if we didn't do anything funny last night then how did this happen?" I asked as she was helping me up, I took the Jersey from her and pulled it over my head. She gave me some socks and pointed to a pair of shoes I could put on.

"All I know is, I woke up yesterday morning went to school and came back home." She said and it was as if a big light bulb went up in my head just like you see in those stupid cartoons.

We looked at each other. "The museum!" We said together.

I frowned when I noticed the two small papers stuck on her face. "What did you do to my face Bella?"

She turned and looked in the mirror. "You had morning stubble. We have to go to that museum after school." She said very matter-of-factly, like she shaved her beard everyday. She removed the two small toilet paper balls. I stood up when there was a sudden knock on the door.

"Bella were going to be late, what's the hold up."

Bella moved to the door quickly and opened it. "Emmett, do me a favor and take Alice to school. Edward and I are taking his car."

I could see Emmett frowning. "Edward what are you doing here? Don't you mean Bella and you are taking your car." He said emphasizing her mistakes. I didn't even notice those.

"Uh…yes, Bella and I have a…err…Biology project to work on before school. Oh and if Alice asks about some emergency just tell her you don't want to talk about it. Thank you, see you later." She closed the door in his face. I ignored her rudeness momentarily, when I thought of something.

"Who is going to drive my car to the museum? You're not touching my baby." I said glaring at her back.

She sighed. "Yes I am and we're driving to school, not the museum."

Are my ears deceiving me or was Bella parsley death because I swear I just heard her say school. "What do you mean we're driving to school? We have to fix this now. I'm not going to school as you." I said as she glared at me.

"Yes you are I have to hand in a written essay in English today and need perfect attendance to get my scholarship. We can go to the museum after school." Oh boo hoo, she needs perfect attendance I mocked her silently as we glared at each other, she didn't say anything and I could slowly feel myself giving in.

"Fine but we leave right after school, I don't want be like this for to long it's creepy."

She huffed. "Really? You make it sound as if I'm having the time of my life, why am I feeling some sort of pressure between my legs?" She asked suddenly looking down.

"What do you mean some sort of pressure?" I asked quizzically.

"I don't know, it feels like my bladder is going to burst." Her head snapped up as she looked at me wide eyed, I smiled when I realized her dilemma.

"Well then you better go." I said calmly enjoying her torture a bit too much.

"No, I'll just keep it in." She said in a small voice, she almost seemed afraid.

"Bella I don't know about girls but when a guy has to go he has to go." I said as she shook her head. I heard Emmett call that he was leaving from down stairs in a rather booming voice. Good then she can use the bathroom here. "It's probably better if you go here and not at school."

She looked like she wanted to argue but then just turned around and headed for the bathroom. I followed her, trying hard not to burst out laughing as she stopped in front of the toilet. She lifted the toilet seat.

"Don't turn me into some kind of pussy, men stand they don't sit". I interrupted her when it looked like she wanted to sit down. She glared at me and straightened up turning around. "Don't forget to pick up the second part as well." I said, after all it was just good manners. She lifted the second part and froze, maybe I should help her, she did help me with the bra after all "Now unzip the jeans and it will probably be better if you pull down the jeans and my boxers." I said but even I could hear the strain in my voice from trying not to laugh.

"Why do I get the idea that you're enjoying this way to much." She unzipped the jeans and then pulled it down.

Ok I didn't factor my naked bum into this, total awkward moment.

"Actually I think I'm even more uncomfortable than you right now". I said and walked into the hallway.

"This is wrong in so many ways. Do I need to hold it with one hand or both?" What? How could she not now the answer to that question?

"Just one, it's not a fire hose!" I shouted down the hallway, I thought of everything I could to keep me from picturing the scene in the bathroom right now.

"Now what?" She asked.

"Aim at the toilet and relax." It was quiet for a while and then I heard the all too familiar sound of a man peeing in the toilette. "Bella if you're done remember to…err… shake…it a few times." I said uncomfortably and moments later, she emerged from the bathroom, I quickly checked to see if she at least remembered to zip up her jeans.

Luckily, she didn't notice. "Coward, just you wait until you have to go to the toilet."

I shrugged. "I'll just sit down. I have always wanted to go into the girl's bathroom. Maybe under different circumstances and for different reasons but beggars can't be choosers." I said and she just glared at me.

"Can we go to school now?" I nodded and she showed me where her schoolbag was, she obviously thought I didn't even look at her room, before we left. "Lock the door behind you". She told me as we walked out. We walked to my car. There was no way in hell she was driving my car.

"Bella, would you just let me drive please?" I asked and she nodded as she got into the passenger seat. I quickly ran into my house to fetch my car keys and school bag, I knew everyone would have left already.

Very little was said on the way to school. "Meet me here right after school." I said before she could run of, she just nodded. She glanced at my class schedule and headed for my first class. I glanced at hers and headed for English class, I had to search through her bag for her essay when the teacher asked for it and got up to hand it in. My feet got caught on the shoulder straps of someone's schoolbag and I fell on my knees in front of the entire class. I cursed softly as I rose to my feet.

"Are you OK Bella?" The teacher asked when I finally reached his desk.

"Yes sir, there's no better way to start the day than getting the wind knocked out of you." I said handing him the essay.

He chuckled. "This would be an interesting read as usual." I just shrugged and headed back to my seat.

I tried to remember to react every time a teacher called my name witch proved difficult since every teacher called me something else. English it was Bella, Math's it was Swan and in History, it was Isabella. It was during History that I had the sudden urge to visit the bathroom. I had hoped that this wouldn't happen until we swapped our body's back but clearly, that was not going to happen any time soon. I got permission to leave the classroom and headed for the girls bathroom, I slowly opened the door and looked to she if someone was inside. It was completely deserted. I quickly entered the first cubicle and locked the door.

I stared at the toilet.

Ok if Bella can do it, so could you.

I raised the top cover and scanned the ring. It seemed clean enough. I turned around, unzipped the jeans, pulled them down with her underwear and sat down quickly.

OK now what do I do?

I stared at all the graffiti scratched into the wall.

I thought girl's bathrooms would be cleaner than the boy's bathroom. Ok just relax.

I thought about being back in my body and felt the building pressure relieve.

This was one part of being a girl, I didn't envy.

I was about to stand back up when I remembered girls had to use toilet paper, great better get this over and done with. I grabbed a lot of toilet paper and without looking down, wiped quickly in what I thought was the proper way and pulled up the jeans. I zipped up the jeans and was about to exit, when the bathroom door opened.

"Come on Lauren I want to smoke this cigarette before lunch."

Great Jessica and Lauren were in the bathroom for their usual smoke break.

"Ok, ok just hurry up, Jake wants to meet me just before lunch since he has to be there for Bella." I froze, she said Bella's name as if it was something disgusting.

"Did you know that they still haven't done it? Apparently, Bella has never been with someone before and is like a total nun. No wonder Jake is looking for greener pastures! Some girls just don't know how to please their men." I opened the door and walked past the stunned Jessica and Lauren, I washed my hands without even looking at them. I turned and walked to the door.

"Are you not even going to say something?" Jessica asked just as I was about to open the door, I turned and smiled at them what I hoped was Bella's sweetest smile.

"I would but I just don't speak snob." I turned and walked out the door, I was barely back in the classroom when the bell for lunch went.

I grabbed Bella's schoolbag and headed for the cafeteria, I wasn't very hungry so I went to wait for Bella at our usual table. She finally arrived carrying a tray with some pizza on it. Our other friends, with the exception of Jacob, were already seated. Ok I wasn't going to be the moron to tell Bella that Jacob is cheating on her but there were other ways to make her see the light.

She sat down across from me. "How are you holding up?" She asked sounding concerned.

"I fell over at least a dozen times and the girl's bathroom is not how I imagined it." I tried to make a joke to lighten the mood since she looked very concerned for some reason.

"My morning was hell too, just two more classes and we'll be right back where we belong." She said and took a bite of her pizza.

"What's with the two of you?" Emmett suddenly asked.

Crap! Dude, now was not the time to pay attention.

"Nothing we're just not feeling like ourselves." I said wondering if Bella would see the humor in the line.

"Hey beautiful, sorry I missed you this morning but I'm here to make up for it now." Jacob suddenly said behind me and kissed me in the neck. My face instantly turned to one of discuss before I could help myself. Jacob sat down next to me and took my hand. My first reaction was to rip my hand away but I forced myself to stay calm.

"Its ok Jake, Edward and I were so busy with a project for Biology I didn't even notice that you were gone."

Jake glared at Bella and I felt her kick me on the shin under the table.

"Ouch! damn it." She looked away innocently.

Sorry Bella but Jacob really is an ass you'll see soon enough.

"So do you want to go do something after school?" Jacob asked while he played with a strand of my hair. I twisted my body towards Jacob smartly moving out of his little caress.

"Sorry, Edward and I have already made other plans. Maybe next time." I said.

Jacob frowned "You and Edward get along now? Maybe I could join you?" He asked, confused.

I smiled at him. "Sorry Jake, there's only room for two on this outing. Right Edward?" I asked Bella turning towards her.

Please don't blow this, Bella.

I waited patiently for her to answer. "Uh yeah, sorry Jacob."

The bell suddenly rang and Jacob slid his arm around me for his and Bella's usual parting kiss. "I don't want to be late for class." I said quickly turning out of the embrace and left without looking back. I shivered as I thought about what Bella was going to do to me in Biology. Did she really expect me to kiss another guy? That would be so totally gay.

I walked quickly to Biology when the bell rang just unpacking her biology books when she arrived next to me. "What the hell are you up to? Couldn't you handle the situation with Jake any better?"

I tilted my head and shook it lightly. "He's not my type. He's a bit too manly for me." I said and she stared at me shocked.

"Well he is my type so you better get used to it."

I looked at Bella, in my body and shook my head again. "I don't think he is your type either. People would look at you funny, seeing that you're a male yourself." I joked lightly and her mouth fell open.

Oh yeah she didn't know that I had a funny side.

Well she was going to see a lot more of the real Edward. "Just stop your crap ok." I nodded as we paid attention to our teacher.

We left quickly after school. "I hope this works, otherwise were screwed." I said as we stopped in front of the museum. We walked into the foyer and saw the same old tour guide that gave us a tour yesterday. We walked quickly towards him.

"Excuse me sir but were wondering if you could help us?" Bella said and he squinted at us and smiled a toothy grin.

"Sure do you want a tour?" He asked us thinking that we must be tourists.

"No we were part of the school that visited the museum yesterday."

Bella said quickly and he nodded suddenly. "You forgot to ask something yesterday." How dumb could one person be?

"No, we wanted to now if you ever heard of someone swapping bodies with someone else?" Bella said again and he looked from my face to Bella's.

"Well why didn't you say so? Right this way." We looked at each other and it was clear that we both thought the same thing. This old man was insane. We followed him into the first room where I noticed the weird statue Bella and I stood next to arguing yesterday. He stopped in front of the statue and waited for us to join him. "We don't know were this figure originated from but archeologists found it on our shore about one hundred years ago…"

Great what was he on about now? "What does the statue have to do with our question?" Bella asked and the old man smirked at her.

"Everything. Now do you want my help or not?" We nodded quickly, before he didn't help us at all. "Amongst the archeologists there was a woman present, she and one of the men didn't get along, they argued a lot. One morning they woke up in each other's bodies. It was said that the statue crossed over their spirits so that they could better understand each other." We looked at him expecting him to go on but he in turn just stared at us.

"Well did their spirits return to their bodies?" I asked excitedly.

"No they did not." Bella's mouth fell open and I just stared at him in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked the man flabbergasted.

"The statue gave them one task and they could not complete it."

Bella looked at me. "What was their task?" She asked not taking her eyes of me.

"They had to fulfill the others persons hearts desire, before there time ran out." Her head snapped back to the man.

"Time ran out?" I asked shocked.

"Yes. They had two weeks to fulfill each other's most inner heart's desire. They missed their timeline. Now if you'll excuse me the museum is closed." He started to push us towards the door.

"Ok, we're going, we're going." Bella said and we walked out into the drizzling rain in a stunned silence. Bella climbed into the car and I stood in the rain shocked before I joined her. "Edward I can't stay like this for two weeks." She said in a shaking voice.

"Bella I don't want to stay like this at all, so we better do this hearts desire thing before our time runs out."

I said and she looked at me. "Ok, so what is your hart's desire?"

She asked and I took a minute to really think about it. "That's easy. I want to study music at Yale." It was really the only thing that I wanted the most.

"Well that won't be to difficult, did you apply already?"

Oh crap, I forgot about the scholarship.

"Yes I'm already accepted but I have to play a music piece for the scholarship committee in ten days to get a scholarship."

She looked confused. "Why do you need a scholarship?" Of course, she would think that, my family was rich after all.

I sighed. "My father is a bit difficult about the direction I'm taking and now he refuses to pay for my studies."

She looked as if this was very normal to her. "Ok, so then you just have to play…wait…holy shit. I can't play any musical instrument, I can't even sing to save my life."

She said and started hyperventilating. "Calm down Bella, I'll just teach you how to play the piano. It's not that difficult. Now what is your heart's desire? It better not be anything to do with Jacob." I joked hoping it would put her at ease.

"No, I also want to go to Yale and study literature. I need perfect attendance at school and then also in ten day's time have to go there for an interview to get a scholarship." I was shocked momentarily.

"You want to go to Yale and study literature?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "What is something wrong with that?"

I shook my head lightly. "No you took me by surprise that's all, so an interview that doesn't sound to difficult." I started the car beginning to pull away.

"About Shakespeare." She said. I stepped on the brake.

"Shakespeare? I know about books. Fantasy books are my specialty. My classical knowledge is ok. My Shakespeare knowledge on the other hand is nonexistent."

She looked at me. "Then I'll just have to teach you." I huffed and started to drive again.

"That's going to be boring."

She looked out the window, "Would you listen to that…" I listened for something that was wrong with the engine but all I could hear was the soft purr of the car and the rain hitting the windshield. "That is the sound of me not caring."

"Ha, ha very funny, Bella. You'll care if you don't get the scholarship, so you better be nice to me." I said concentrating on the road.

"Is that a threat Edward?" She asked glaring at me.

"No just a warning, I don't know about you but I don't want to be you for the rest of my life." I said and she huffed.

"I don't like this anymore than you do, ok? So I'll try my best to be nice." She said as I stopped in front of my house.

"Ok then what do you say partner, lets get this show on the road." I said holding out my hand for her to shake.

"Whatever it's not like you can do this without me." She said as she shook my hand.

"Just remember that goes both ways." I said as we got out of the car.

"So who is going to teach who first?" I asked as she joined me outside the car.

"No one, you have to go make dinner for Emmett and Charlie and we have to fill in each other on our families." Wait. Did she just say make dinner?

"Bella, I don't know how to cook. I know how to make a sandwich but that is as far as my cooking skills go." I said as I followed her into her house.

"Well then it's about time you learn, wouldn't you say?" She said as she headed into the kitchen. She placed steak into the oven, rescued the salad I was making and set the table. During all this, she filled me in on everything she did in the house. What I had to remind Emmett to do and with what homework I was supposed to help him. I never had an idea that Bella did so much for this family and she never complained about it once.

I filled her in on everything in my family. When the cooking was done, she left to go to my house before my parents returned from work. I called Emmett down for dinner. Since Charlie wasn't home yet and Emmett ate like a bear leaving no room for talking, dinner passed by very quietly. Emmett excused himself after dinner and I cleaned the dishes just as I was told before heading upstairs to take a shower.

Bella and I have discussed this little part deciding we would wash the body quickly and efficiently since it was unavoidable, we would just never discuss it at all. Charlie must have arrived during my uncomfortable shower because his Cruiser was standing in the driveway. I did Bella's homework and after I was done, glanced out the window.

Bella was sitting in my windowsill and I waved to her quickly. She smiled and waved back. I smiled softly and turned to walk out of the room. I walked down stairs to lock the front door just as Bella instructed me to do. I threw a blanket over a snoring Charlie and walked back to Bella's room. I turned of the lights and climbed in her bed, please let me wake up in my own body I asked before I drifted of to sleep.

"Cock-a-doodle-doo!" Emmett screamed into my ear.

"Go lay an egg." I grunted into my pillow.

"Roosters are males." Emmett said next to me.

"Not castrated ones." I said bombarding him with a pillow. He ran out laughing.

Great, another day in the life of Isabella Swan.

A/n Next chapter will have a big incident with Jacob and Bella.

Thanks for all the marvelous, fantastic, glorious, wonderful and lovely reviews. It really is the best part of writing when people tell you what they think of it so keep up the good work. Thanks for the people who added the story to their favorites and alerts list.

I would also like to thank my wonderful beta, Princes Blair Rose, for editing and polishing this chapter to perfection. Be sure to check out the story she's writing "Bella Cullen" it's great.

Thanks for reading.