The Independent Heart

Sully threw his axe on the ground and grabbed his canteen. The still-cool water felt good going down his parched throat. He only had been chopping wood for twenty minutes, but it was a hot day and his shirt was already soaked clear through with sweat.

He wiped his brow with his shirtsleeve before setting down another log. He picked up his axe and swung it with all his might, splitting the log in two.

He'd lost her forever. His heartsong.

Sully still couldn't believe that in the course of a few weeks, he went from being blissfully in love to alone. Michaela's fiancé was alive, here, in Colorado Springs. She was probably with him right now. What was she doing? In a way, it was more painful than losing Abagail. Sully knew Abagail was gone, dead. As much as it hurt, he never had to wonder what she was doing, whether she was happy. He realized that for the rest of his life, he would always wonder what Michaela was doing.

He thought of Michaela with David, saying the words of love she had shared with Sully. Being in David's arms. Touching him. The look on her face the first time she is with a man. Sully was so sure he would be that man, and for a moment let himself think that maybe he still could be.

He shook off the thought immediately. Of course, Michaela would choose David. He was from a fine family, educated, a doctor like her. David spoke so eloquently at Myra and Horace's wedding. Sully knew he could never get up and do something like that. David would provide a stable home for Michaela and the children.

The children. Just the thought of Matthew, Colleen and especially Brian caused a lump to form in Sully's throat. Even another swig from the canteen couldn't make it go away. Brian's excitement about having Sully as his father was so intense, he couldn't imagine the boy's disappointment. But as upset as Sully was, he loved Michaela so much and knew deep in his heart that he had to let her make her own decision.

Sully sat on the ground and leaned back against a log. His temples were throbbing. Perhaps his migram was returning? He closed his eyes and immediately saw Michaela. She was wearing white and her hair was flowing down her back, just like when he saw her in his dream right before he proposed.

"Michaela?" She moved into his arms and began to kiss him, her tongue invading his mouth forcefully. Then she pulled back and smiled.

"What are you doing here?" Sully asked.

"I love you. I need you. Only you." Sully was stunned. Michaela never kissed him like this before. Her kisses were sweet, loving, but never this passionate. She kissed him again more deeply. He always knew this kind of fire lived within her.

Sully hoped the kiss would last forever, but it was broken by the sound of the bird flying overhead. Sully was suddenly sitting on the ground. Disoriented for a moment, he looked around for Michaela. The realization that it was all a dream was cruel.

Sully stood up and started splitting logs again until his arms hurt. He surveyed his work. Despite the growing pile, Sully continued, knowing he would need the firewood for the many sleepless nights he'd spend thinking about his heartsong.

He suddenly heard someone approaching. He glanced up and saw Michaela, her hair down and pushed to the side, wearing a blue blouse that complimented her skin tone. He concentrated on his task before her beauty overwhelmed him.

"Hello, Sully."

What happened next was nothing short of a miracle in Sully's mind. Michaela wanted to be with him. With Sully. She still wanted to marry him.

Bursting with joy, Sully lifted Michaela into his arms and spun her around. He looked into her eyes, amazed he would have the honor of spending the rest of his life with her.

Michaela held his gaze. "Let's go home. I want to tell the children right away." She slipped into his arms and found the welcoming, familiar spot in the middle of his chest to lay her head. Sully held her close and realized that hours of chopping wood required a dip in the pond.

"I should get cleaned up first."

"Do you want to meet me at the homestead?" she asked.

"Won't take long. You can wait at the lean-to. Truth is…I can't bear to be away from you."

"Oh Sully, how could I have ever thought…" she stared intently into his bright blue eyes. "You're my life, my other half. I…"

"Shhh." He put his fingers to her lips. "Don't. I understand."

"So you forgive me?"

"Ain't nothin' to forgive." She smiled and went into his arms once again, holding him tight.

Hours later, Michaela and Sully stood outside the homestead, gazing at the stars. Michaela felt safe with Sully's arms wrapped around her waist, his lips nuzzling her ear. The children had gone to bed, but from the whisperings she heard coming from Brian and Colleen's room as she walked outside, she knew they were not asleep yet.

"Wish I could stay here and hold ya just like this…" He hesitated, unsure if he should say what was completely in his heart. "….all night," he whispered.

Michaela felt a blush rise from the tips of her toes up her body, and she was glad he couldn't see her face. She thought for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "That sounds nice," she said, unable to control the shakiness in her voice.

Sully pulled her in closer and kissed her cheek. His stubble itched a bit against her skin. He suddenly turned her around, his eyes boring into hers. He cupped her chin, slowly moving her face closer to his. Michaela felt his warm breath on her face and her mouth went dry as his lips pressed into hers. His hand moved to the small of her back as he deepened the kiss. Michaela placed her hands on his broad shoulders, getting lost for a minute in his kiss. From the corner her eye, she saw the curtain on the homestead's window move slightly. Embarrassed, Michaela broke the kiss. Sully followed her gaze to the window and smiled. He knew two pairs of young eyes were watching them. His finger stroked her cheek. He understood Michaela wanted to set a good example for Colleen and Brian about what a proper courtship should be, and he respected her all the more for it.

"Looks like a storm," Sully said, his eyes searching the sky. "'Better get you inside before it hits."

"Will you come by tomorrow for breakfast?" she asked. Sully nodded his head. He hated leaving her and the children, even though he knew that very soon he wouldn't have to make his nightly trip back to his lean-to.

A gust of wind blew a few strands of hair across Michaela's face, and Sully pushed them away before slowly moving in for a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Good night."

Michaela reluctantly began to walk up the steps. She turned around to see Sully still standing there, beaming. She felt her heart quicken and she smiled back as she went into the homestead. She rested against the closed door, sure her knees were about to give out.

Minutes later, the rain began to come down in sheets. Michaela stood by the window and marveled at how she could miss Sully already, even though five minutes had not passed since his departure. She wrapped her shawl around her tighter. She was exhausted. Although part of her looked forward to a good night of sleep, the first in many weeks, another part didn't want this night to end.

Just then, she heard footsteps approaching the porch. Her mind raced for a moment. She peered through the window, but it was too dark. She quickly eyed the poker near the fireplace. She didn't want to startle the children. She looked out again and saw Sully standing in front of the window, soaking wet.

She quickly opened the door. "Sully, what are you—" Sully grabbed Michaela and pulled her into a soul-searing kiss that nearly knocked her to the ground. Sully's rain-drenched shirt pressed into her, his wet hands moved up her back and sent a chill down her spine. Michaela was surprised at how much she enjoyed the mix of rain and sweat that came with his intense kiss. His tongue was warm as it explored her mouth. Just when she thought his kiss would utterly consume her, Sully broke away.

"I needed to kiss you one more time," he said, breathlessly.

Michaela smiled and touched his face. They both laughed, unsure of what to say or do next.

"I'm sorry…" he said looking her now-damp clothes.

Michaela shook her head, "I'm glad you came back." Sully was relived. He was worried she might be a bit annoyed with his enthusiasm.

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," she replied. He took her face into his hands, leaning in to kiss her gently on the lips.

Michaela watched Sully as he walked out the door and smiled, knowing that tomorrow was the rest of their lives.