Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.

Over Again

"Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult"

Getting ready for high school again made my feet move slow even for a human. I loathed school when I had to attend as a human, and being forced into another classroom with scandalous teenage girls who are secretly drooling over there professor was not on my list of things to repeat in this existence.

Everyone minus Carlisle and Esme had piled into my Volvo to head towards the school campus. We were going to work on not drawing attention to ourselves, which if you ask me is going to be the hardest of our task. Jasper was clearly nervous about being so close to humans that it was making me nervous. I had to ask him to chill out on several occasions this morning.

We were going to plan for a short time frame just to see how things worked out. Rose and Emmett had done this several times before and it was no work for them; but for the other three of us it was going to be torture. Alice and I were going to be in our Junior year while Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett faked Senior year.

The only reason Jasper was starting off as a senior as opposed to suffering with even lesser minded teenagers like Alice and I was because he was faking to be Rosalie's twin brother. We were all adopted and sticking to a sly truth, we're from Alaska.

I heard the entire thoughts of the teenagers crowding the parking lot move our way as we pulled into the parking lot before I even saw the eyes twitch and stare. Alice was her usual happy self hopping out of the car with a pleasant grin. She didn't mind the attention and actually thought it would be a good promotion for her fall line coming out soon. She used false names and false company names, so no one would know it was her design…but still wearing the clothes had its effect.

All of us kept our eyes to the ground as we trudged through the rainy parking lot up to the school's front office to pick up our schedules. Esme had already made the arrangements for our enrollment so they were expecting us this morning. I tried to block out the thoughts of everyone around us as I concentrated on the treaty that I signed earlier. It was the basic document scribbled on with rules and principles on it. I didn't have a problem with any of their rules, what I had a problem with was the way these people approached it. Rose's thoughts were teetering on a dangerous edge causing Jasper to be frustrated with the tribe.

Rose had made plans to go with Esme and Carlisle to turn the treaty in, I was sure she had an ulterior motive but every time she caught me trying to figure out or get a glimpse into her thoughts on the situation or what made her so angry she would starting thinking of lewd thoughts with Emmett. It was disgusting but a good deterrent. Alice was going to go with everyone but Jasper didn't want her too insisting that she should stay with us just in case.

Alice slid my schedule into my hand as the family began to move out of the small confined office. I stared down at the bold blocked out lines looking at the classes they had prepared for me. Alice reached her hand over the paper and my eyes drew up to her face.

"Looks like we have home room together, we should get going...I don't want to be late on our first day of school."

I rolled my eyes and adjusted the backpack that sat on my shoulder before following Alice down the hall way. Jasper kissed her briefly on the cheek as we separated causing my thoughts to trail back to Bella. I entered the room and waited while Alice discussed with the teacher where our assigned seats would be. She used her beauty and charm to convince the teacher that introductions where not necessary. I looked around taking in the small student body that filled our home room class. Each girl had something missing, brown eyes, brown hair, a perfectly shaped body...none of them where Bella.

As I took my seat I pulled out a pencil and paper and began drawing lines with no meaning, I was trying to block out my thoughts of Bella, trying to get over what was once mine, and trying desperately to move on. That evening played over and over in my mind, the way her body bounced slowly above me...the curve of her hips, the taste of her skin and then the pencil lead broke under the amount of pressure I was applying on the paper creating an indention in the desk.

I looked over as Alice's eye's met my own and she frowned, further reminding me that I am alone. My pride was wounded and the constant thoughts of my happiness was causing bleeding in my brain I'm sure but even then during those desperate times of want and need for her all that I wanted for her was peace, and that would never include me.

There were times when I would let my frustrations take over and I would curse the day I met her, such an angel...such perfection, but I never wanted to hear her say she loved me just so that she could disappear again, and I am glad that she didn't try to reach me because it's better if she hates me so that she can find something or anything out there that was better for her than me. I knew it was all bull shit...but I needed to keep telling myself that so I could move on. Thirty years later and the only woman I had ever been with has never left my thoughts.

In a sick way I wanted to be able to thank her for that evening, even if it meant her turning her back on me and walking away a few minutes later driving me that much more mad, I knew she wouldn't nor could anyone else ever understand the monster that I had become or my warped opinions of things like suicidal hate. I would never have the love and heart of a woman that pure, she could never compliment me or make me love me for who I am...so why even bother?

I drove far enough away from her that morning that I probably never crossed her mind when she woke up that morning, and if she did...she probably did whatever it took in her heart to leave me behind because it was just one night, one moment taken for granted between two lonely people. She should hate me for not staying...I would and do hate myself for it. It's hard to swallow the hatred I built up over the years.

With a sad heart I left without a good bye or even a wave, what kind of man does that after a woman has just given herself to you completely? I was kicking myself for all the mistakes that I had made, I was a boy that she made a man and I could picture awful things like her big brown eyes crying until I would scream to make it go away and to bring back her smile so that I could have that one image where it should and used to be. If she were to ever meet me now I am sure she would ask, 'how could I do this to her?' but even I didn't have that answer...and therefore she should hate me as much as I hate myself.

The bell sounded bringing my attention back to the front of the class I pretended to care what homework assignments we were being given out. Something about a paper on ourselves to get to know each other with. I didn't want to get to know any of these people, but I'd write the damn paper for the sake of Alice's little 'let's go to high school' project.

I walked through the rest of the day with the same attitude, lingering on thoughts of why I should get over the very thought of Bella and trying to force my mind to focus on something other than her beauty. It was her presence that I craved, not the thought of her presence. I sighed as the last bell rang signaling my freedom from this wretched place and the mundane people that occupied it. At this time I had learned the name of every person in the school, and the gossip that surrounded them. Most of it though was about me and my family. We were fresh meat in their eyes and they couldn't wait to sink their teeth into our lives.

I climbed into my car and waited for my family to arrive tapping my fingers on the steering wheel impatiently as they each piled into the car only to speed off as soon as the door was closed. Emmett thought it was extremely funny that Rose and he had gotten detention on their first day there, Jasper was less than amused with the amount of girls that flocked to him in gym and Alice was very contempt that she looked fashionably better than everyone in the school. I was a freaking miserable mess.

I sped down the old winding road until I turned into the drive way slowing my speed slightly as wound up to the house. Carlisle's car was parked outside giving me the impression that they would be leaving with that stupid treaty soon. I guess it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later. Rose was preparing herself to not breath the entire time, I could see her memories of the wretched smell approaching the woods occasionally…that was until she changed her thoughts to something else.

I pulled the car to a stop and remove the keys from the ignition as everyone else piled out and into the house. I was taking my time, it was annoying how all of their thoughts would flash between the treaty and then to their love lives. I was actually going to be relieved when they either 'a' just told me what the fuck was going on or 'b' stopped thinking about it entirely.

"Edward dear, will you be staying here?"

I paused, turned, raised an eye brow and looked over to Esme who was her usual smiling self. She was a very kind woman, and perfect for Carlisle in every way possible. Her human life had been a tragic story of loss and death meeting Carlisle was a god sent gift to her and the only issue she had with being a monster was the fact that she couldn't have real children. It was probably also the only problem Rosalie had with it.

"Do I have a choice? The feeling I got was that I was welcome to go."

"Well, I was talking to Carlisle and you being able to hear their thoughts might be beneficial."

I shrugged my shoulders and let out a sigh as Rosalie passed by me with a smirk. I might go just so that I could annoy the holy crap out of that woman.

"I'd like to go Esme."

She smiled brightly at me before placing her hand on my shoulder. We both turned around so that we could head out of the house and to the car. The treaty was in one of her hands held so loosely that not even the paper had a small wrinkle on it from the pressure of her finger tips.

We stepped out of the house and onto the front porch. I moved ahead of Esme being the gentleman Carlisle normally was with her and stuck my hand out to help her down the stairs. I was normally called, 'the kiss ass' by Rose or Emmett but it felt natural to be polite to Esme, she was from a time where men were supposed to act like gentleman and unfortunately end up with a man who didn't agree with the times. Carlisle wanted to spend the rest of eternity making that up to her, because she did deserve better.

"You're too kind Edward, when are you going to find a mate and be happy?"

"My heart doesn't exist anymore Esme…so I do not see that day coming."

"It is possible to love more than once."

"I don't think I could settle for a lesser love."

The corners of her mouth pulled up slightly in a forced smile as we climbed into the car. I sat in the back and allowed her the front seat. Carlisle and Rose were not far behind jumping into the car with us and then driving off. Rosalie's thoughts had taken a very hateful tone and no one really spoke the entire way there. I wish I could enjoy the silence but unfortunately their thoughts would never stop.

I stared out the window catching glimpses of things moving within the woods as we approached closer to the tribe's lands. I was sure it was them and they were watching us approach. I felt the anxiety I had felt several years ago when Jasper and I began our walk into the woods. That walk changed so many things in my life, it was the catalyst the beginning to a never ending story for me.

The car came to a stop on the side of the road as we all climbed out and headed into the woods. Carlisle and I were following Esme and Rosalie who knew where they were going. A horrible smell made me stop breathing entirely, it made me feel like I rolled around in rancid week old moldy maggot covered food. I was disgusted completely and understood know why Rosalie hated these people so much. She was vain enough that if you smelt bad you were not on her polite list.

"Well, at least they didn't bring the girl this time."

I looked around as several wolves and a young teenage boy approach us in the clearing. He had long black hair that drifted down his back, his eyes were black as night and even though he couldn't have been more than sixteen years old I was sure that he held some authority with this group.

I began listening carefully to the thoughts around me realizing soon that the wolves could communicate with each other without speaking. They referred to the boy standing in front of us as Jacob, there alpha; and though the other four wolves seemed to be able to use some sort of communication it appeared that Jacob couldn't, maybe it was only while in there truest of forms?

"Did your entire family sign the treaty?"

"Yes, and if we do need to contact you…may I ask how we would do that?"

"You won't contact us, you will stay away from our people and our land."

I didn't like the angry undertone that Jacobs thoughts had moved to and I really didn't like the fact that he was hoping we would cause him a problem. I growled low and under my breath as Carlisle took a small step back and smiled at Jacob.

"We do not wish to cause you or your people harm."

Jacob scuffed slightly looking back the wolves and then turning to stare at my family again. His hatred for our kind was strong enough to match Rosalie's hatred yet childish enough to get himself and his people killed. He didn't nod, wave, or really acknowledge us in a way of a formal good bye, instead he turned with his back to us to show us that he wasn't afraid and then moved to leave the woods. That's when the thought hit me, hard and smooth.

Bella is going to be pissed when we get back.