Disclaimer: I'm so sorry for not updating! Forgive me wonderful reviewers, Houston had a storm and knocked out da power lines for a week. (tear) no internet connection. Oh yeah, I just found out that Morpheus was the god of dreams in Greek mythology. Sweet…
And he's way cooler than Mr. Sandman…
H.UgS! to those that reviewed. I love you all! Help yourself to the cookies in the corner of the screen!
And to the unfortunate person whose 'computer was being dumb' Here's its own review space! Thanks! But this review was too good to delete, so I just put it here!
Inara Cabot
hello! my computer is being dumb so i couldn't leave a review on the story so i'm leaving it here instead!
(take that microsoft!)
you know how funny you are! you know how great you are so i'll just... laugh at you for getting coconut shampoo in your eyes!
ha!
heh.
So without further hesitation--
The Owner's Guide to Morpheus
A Manual
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Note: It is recommended to keep Morpheus stationed in his box until after reading this manual.
Congratulations!
You are now the new, proud owner of the legendary captain of the Nebuchadnezzar! (I think I hurt myself trying to spell that.) Unfortunately, he doesn't come with a huge hovercraft, but he does come with a personality that everyone is bound to enjoy!
Note: Do not poke…do not prod…do not attempt to steal sunglasses or tie.
What have I ordered?
You have ordered one of the most sought after crewmembers aboard the Neb. From Kung Fu to surfin' on 18-wheelers, Morpheus has it all…and has been delivered to your front doorstep.
Morpheus comes complete with:
-Clothing
-Shiny samurai sword
-Sunglasses (It took me months to figure out how they stayed on his face)
-Tylenol liquid caps (will explain later in Added Info)
-Toy Nebuchadnezzar
-Agent punching bags
-Niobe plushie
Note: There are no refunds, returns, or satisfaction guarantees. (unless under specific conditions) Handle at own risk…
How to AssembleUnlike the other characters, Morpheus comes in a Nebuchadnezzar shaped box. When you walk towards the starboard side of the ship, you'll notice a little red button…Push that button. Afterwards, the box will unfold itself. Before opening the box, make sure that all children, animals or anything that Morpheus considers scary (furbies, tickle-me-elmos, tellitubbies, etc.) or is a potential threat is out of the area.
After AssemblingOnce the box is opened, Morpheus may get out and roam around a bit in order to explore his new environment. Make sure that his room is spic and span and that a computer is nuzzled into a corner. If you happen to own the Neo character at the same time, sit down with Morpheus and Neo and have a little conversation along these lines-
"Neo, no hacking while Morpheus is out."
"Morpheus, no strangling Neo if he's on your computer playing games." (Note- Neo has a fetish for minesweeper…)
Hopefully, your Neo and Morpheus will agree on some designated computer times, but if Neo is insistent on hacking into Keanu's bank account via Morpheus's computer, don't be afraid to take drastic measures.
Added InfoAs noted previously, Morpheus comes complete with Tylenol Liquid Caps. Only you know that though and we intend for it to stay that way. Morpheus believes that those liquid caps are actually the red and blue pills designed to be given right after his "What is Reality?" speech. There are times that Morpheus may feel compelled to strap you into a random chair and give you the long, monotonous speech. Afterwards you are presented with the pills. If we had given Morpheus the real deal, you would've been forced to swallow something you ain't supposed to be swallowing because that is some funky stuff/shit going into you. So to make it safe (and to cure that headache you got from listening to him talking), we gave Morpheus Tylenol Liquid Caps. If you happen to have the heart to tell him that his precious red and blue pills are bootlegged, he'll just deny it, which, if you have the Architect character, will be accompanied by the phrase, "Denial is the most predictable of all human characteristics." Secretly, Morpheus will feel ashamed of himself because he can't show his newest family members what the Matrix is. Hopefully, you may get the trilogy and show it to him. The pill problem is solved and normal life is resumed.
What does Morpheus like to do?Noted in the Added Info section, Morpheus loves to give his little speeches especially around the dinner table. To some, his speeches are more effective than an overdose of sleeping pills. We recommend said people to politely leave the table and eat somewhere else. And for those who enjoy his speeches, just listen and don't interrupt. If you're lucky, you might just get one of his rare "Get-Out-Of-Listening-To-Speech-Free" cards.
Other than bothering people with long conversations, Morpheus likes to read the newspaper ever morning from 7 to 8 accompanied with breakfast (just toast and coffee and occasionally some orange juice.) If Mr. Anderson is at the table also, conversation is bound to be pleasant and the morning smooth.
Note: Neo, Trinity and Niobe are the ideal table breakfast partners for Morpheus. The Merovingian, Twins, and Agents are not recommended in Morpheus's mornings. Listed below are the reasons. These following descriptions have been recorded under intense scrutiny by our lab experts.
-Merovingian- although he CAN be compatible with the Merovingian, they'll start a tedious argument over who has the most long-winded speeches. To make sure that this doesn't happen, the Architect is recommended. When it comes to the use of the English language, the Architect is the master.
-Twins- Not exactly the first thing Morpheus wants to see in the morning (and vice versa), he will most likely have to eat his breakfast with extreme caution. The twins are fond of poisoning other people's food with the latest drug.
-Agents-Will attempt to change Morpheus into one of their kind.
Apart from his meticulous dining habits, Morpheus has a passion for taking walks around the neighborhood and assembling machinery. Make sure not to give him cars. He will attempt to change them into hovercrafts.
How to Maintain MorpheusJust like Neo, there really is nothing to maintain. Just have food ready everyday and have the house clean 24/7. There are going to be some days when Morpheus is in dire need of company. You can only provide so much, but he would prefer to talk to someone that's been in his crew throughout the Matrix trilogy. Extreme cases of him lacking a social life will result in him talking to his Niobe doll. Sometimes he may even respond back to himself in a squeaky high-pitched voice. If you happen to stumble across these signs, don't snatch away the doll, just pick up the phone and order any one of the crewmembers.
In ConclusionWe hope you gladly enjoy the newest member of your family tree. It is recommended that you order another character to keep Morpheus company. If you don't want to, that's fine. All the more to have Morpheus to yourself. XD
Hmmm. This isn't as great as some of the others, but sometime I'll come around and add more, delete a bit here and a little there. It's 1:43 in the morning and my eyes are having a hard time staying open. I actually tried tape...that just suceeded in poking my eye out. Me go night-night...
Oh yeah, Halloween is just one week away! When you review, you get a 2 hugs for 1 special! and a delighted squeal from the authoress. Yup..my last braincell popped outta my head. Must go scavenge for it...(accidentally runs over it in rollie chair)
