Thanks everybody for reviewing! It has inspired me to get off my butt and write more!
Disclaimer: Since the Author is out eating ramen this disclaimer has been brought to you by the Merv and Twins.
Merovingian: (kicks twins) Come on! Zis is ze Disclaimer! We mustn't disappoint ze Author!
Twins: (mumble incoherently)
Merovingian: What was zat?
Twins: (sigh) Author doesn't own the matrix.
Merovingian: Good…Now, since zat's over with, I want you two to get your albino asses off ze chair and get ze Keymaker!
Twins: "…"
Merv: (vein pops out of temple) Well? What are you two waiting for? A red carpet for your exit?
"…"
Merv: (exasperated sigh while rubbing temples) "Please don't tell me zat ze Keymaker stole your car keys again…"
(no comment)
Merv: (eye twitches) "I swear! How on earth did ze Wachowski brothers put up with you two? It's only because zey own you zat you've avoided being tortured by fan girls!" (points to a random pit containing screaming and fainting fan girls.)
"Oh…what am I saying…screw ze keys, just go hotwire ze darn escalade."
And that's how the car scene chase came to be…XD
Please pardon the shortness of this chapter. I hardly know enough info about the dude to write a full, complete, detailed manual. But none-the-less, it's all good.
The Owner's Guide to the Architect
A Manual
NOT RECOMMENDED FOR PEOPLE WITH A.D.H.D!
Note: Please keep Architect in box until after you've finished reading the manual and memorizing at least 20 percent of your dictionary. It will come in handy when conversations are bound.
Congratulations!
You are now the new proud owner of the great and blindingly white architect! The very being that created the Matrix (and all its lovable programmed characters) has finally arrived under your roof! This day will definitely have a special place on your timeline.
What Have I Ordered?
You have ordered the dude that is 24/7-ly (new word!) surrounded by mini TV's. From there, in his little white room, he sees all…Hopefully, your new added member will significantly increase your English vocabulary. The mathematical genius comes complete with all of the following:
-Annoying clicky-pointer pen.
-White swivel chair (with 85 percent more swivel)
-Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary- eleventh edition
-White business suit and a black tie. (Will arrive with architect) (hopefully) (smirk)
-Aspirin (to help reduce brain cramps)
Note: There are no refunds, returns, or satisfaction guarantees. (unless under specific conditions) Handle at own risk…
How to AssembleUnlike the other characters, there is NOTHING to assemble here. When you glance toward the pristine white box, you'll notice a big red button that says "Exert pressure by finger here." (in other words-push) When pressed, the box will unfold itself. Keep in mind to stand at least five feet away from box while it unfolds.
Note: Please excuse the bright light and angel voices.
After AssemblingOnce the light has dimmed and the voices diminished, you will be greeted the sight of the all-powerful architect sitting in his all-powerful chair. The first words to escape his mouth will be " I've been waiting for you…" followed by a looooong speech that would have put Morpheus to shame. Besides talking, he doesn't really do much and doesn't have a preference for his environment. Lazy people and games freaks, the Architect will be your best friend.
Added InfoOnce he's been living in your house for a day or two, you'll notice that he never leaves his chair. Not once. Because of this, especially around Christmas time, little children love to sit in his lap thinking he's Santa Clause wearing a white outfit instead of red. Please note that if this does happen, remove said children at once. The Architect has a patience span of a heartbeat and will not hesitate to take drastic measures in order to get the children off his person.
(A/N- I can easily picture a little child on his lap saying "Santa? Can I have the Matrix for Christmas?")
What does the Architect like to do?-Making others feel inferior in the knowledge department.
-Watching TV
-Swiveling in his chair
-Eating the Oracle's cookies
and
-playing the Sims (because the Wachowski brothers took away his ownership over the Matrix.)
How to Maintain the ArchitectMaintaining the Architect is a simple task. He doesn't need his own personal quarters, he doesn't need to eat, and he doesn't really demand any form of entertainment. So once that box is opened, you can just roll him via his chair into a corner and just leave him be. Because of his almost non-existent maintenance, owners tend to forget that the Architect is in their home. His presence is quickly realized when owners trip over his leg while trying to forage for a midnight snack.
In ConclusionWe hope you enjoy the newest (if not the most intelligent) member of your family. In order to keep relations happy between you and the Architect, remember to never underestimate him. He may not have fancy kung-fu moves like Morpheus, the scorpion kick like Trinity or the recklessness of the twins' driving, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to wield that clicky pointer pen. Trust us, it's more than for show or for flippin' channels on the mini-TVs.
Remember, when the box unfolds and the angel voices sound out, that is NOT the 'Light.' Do not go towards it, you will end up being squashed flat by the unfolding box and then the Architect doesn't get the pleasure of saying "I've been waiting for you…" That is his purpose in life…
Somebody ought to do a "Whose Line is it, anyway" matrix style. I haven't seen the show in ages, so I basically forgot what it was about. If anybody wants to write about this topic, go ahead. I'd enjoy reading it!
If you have those sunglasses I gave u last chapter, you're gonna need them. If you review, that smile should be able to light up an entire city!
Coming up next- either Trinity or Agent Smith!
