November
This cannot be real. I have followed every path, traced each step, pursued every scent and still Victoria eludes me. I don't understand.
I am fast and my senses are strong, but I believe I've lost more than my love in the struggle for redemption. Some part of me was left behind, standing with her in the forest, as if the kiss that bade her goodbye tied some portion of my being to that spot, there with her. I should be able to achieve a small thing, a simple thing, as tracking this woman with easy grace. Yet she escapes me still.
Days pass. Nights pass. Day. Night. I am no closer to redemption than when I began this quest. This warm city holds no hope for me. There is no warmth for me. I must leave tonight for the hunt; my thirst leads me to thoughts that may unleash the monster within me. No, I will not allow it untethered. I owe her that much.
Even now, outside this city, I can only remember the sweetness of her breath, the caress of her hair in a gentle breeze with loss and remorse. Her fiery kisses I imagined would consume me and in turn, consume her. I regret loving her, I regret leaving her, I regret losing her. Whatever momentary pain she may have felt I regret. But she is of human stuff and will recover. She has her family, she has her friends. Perhaps by her next birthday, I will be a vague memory of short-lived infatuation, meaningless and all but forgotten.
How unkind the loom of fate, to weave her life amongst every fiber of my being!
I must remain here and now. I cannot falter. Victoria is the quest for the here and now. That is the path of redemption, a path I am obliged to follow.
