This Disclaimer has been brought to you by the Oracle!
Oracle: Well look at you my dear…all grown up.
P-G-B-I: (sweatdrop)
Oracle: You want a cookie? (cookie tray appears)
P-G-B-I: O.O! COOKIES!!!! (latches onto tray)
Oracle: .
(munches)
Oracle: (evil grin)
ACK! They're poisoned! YOU POISONED THE COOKIES! Y- (falls over) XO
Oracle: I'm sorry dear, but I can't let you own the Matrix…
And now I present the month long awaited…
The Owners Guide to Trinity
A Manual
Congratulations!
You are now the new proud owner of Trinity! For a few, Trinity is the best 'starter' character (after the Architect) and will provide an equal amount of enjoyment and frustration for everyone. Please read manual to obtain everything that your Trinity has to offer.
(Note: Free bubble wrap included underneath box)
What Have I Ordered?
You have ordered Wonder Woman's arch-rival. Take caution while handling.
Items Included--Sunglasses
-Shiny black outfit
-Toy Cadillac CTS
-Toy motorcycle
-Hair gel (replace immediately when depleted)
-Neo plushie
-Cell phone
-Morpheus figurine
How to AssembleDifficulty rating- Stupidly easy
-Grab nearest sharp object, stab box along duct tape and saw open. Please note to use small knives when stabbing box. It is known (and proven) that Trinity has a lethal kick when angry.
When opening the box, the only mess created is by the packing foam. Simply clean it up and discard the box or keep it for later use.
After AssemblingAfter Trinity gets removed or removes herself from the box and packing noodles, introduce yourself, your surroundings and any possible characters currently living under your roof. Afterwards, give Trinity a 'brief' tour of your home. One of the last stops you ought to make is by her room. After you tell her that the tour has ended, she will disappear into her room and send "Wake up Neo, the Matrix has you…" type of messages obviously to Neo. (This doesn't happen if you currently own him.)
It is noted that Trinity enjoys her own room with a Spartan appearance. To Trinity, a room is just another place to wait until she gets to go out and kick program butt.
What does Trinity like to do?Besides glomping Neo at random occasions and threatening other male characters with…threats…Trinity enjoys dancing, shopping, and completing missions (car chase explained below.) Attempting to throw away her shiny black outfit will result in you being the primary target of anything shiny and sharp. Many owners don't like her choice of clothing, but that is one default in Trinity that can't be changed.
(Random yet Important Added Info)If you happen to own a Cadillac CTS there's a high percentage that Trinity may borrow your car without permission. If you happen to be a Cadillac freak and have the one and only Cadillac Escalade EXT (plus twins) you've got yourself a full-fledged car scene chase (which'll only last the length of your neighborhood, hopefully.) Just pop yourself out on the front lawn with a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the front row view.
Warning: Risks are as follows-
- There is a chance you may get shot by stray bullets.
-May get run over by either Cadillac vehicle (most likely the EXT due to the Twins failing their mission again and needing to take their frustrations out on something or someone…)
Since the Keymaker isn't out yet, you can get a life-size (but not a lifetime) Keymaker blow-up doll to add detail to the chase.
Having a Keymaker blow-up doll will prove immensely satisfying as a punching bag or just another collectible item to be added to your collection. Although the only drawback on a blow-up is the risk of being popped with said prefix of Keymaker.
(Note: Keymaker doll only good for ONE car scene chase only)
How to Maintain your TrinityTo maintain Trinity for the years to come, keep Trinity away from electrical plugs/sockets, the Twins, and anything that may be potentially rabid. If this includes you, notify us A.S.A.P so we may inject Trinity with a rabies shot before she gets sent to your doorstep.
In ConclusionWe hope that you enjoy the newest (if not the most confusing) character within the Matrix.
Questions such as "Why does she insist on wearing that type of outfit?" or "Is Trinity a guy or a girl?" should NOT be directed to us. If so, you will be severely beaten with a stick.
Q: My Trinity has recently dumped Neo and hooked up with the Twins. What should I do?
A: You pack your bags and run FAR AWAY. If you're lucky, the fight will last no longer than a few days. Hopefully your house/apartment/condo/trailer will still be intact by the time they finish. You'll be lucky if the door is still on its hinges.
Q: My Neo has dumped Trinity for Persephone, what should I do?
A: Same as above, but stay away from the place of your residence for a week or so.
Review...
Shouldn't that be a rhetorical command?
Now THIS I'm definitely gonna have to have some stuff added in. The hardest part about writing Trinity was that there's TONS of info about her. Just which info should be added? Also, since Trinity isn't really one of my favorites, I found it harder to do this manual than any of the others.
Your input shall equal an unblemished, de-poisoned cookie from the Oracle! (and a glomp by me, too!)
