DEDICATED: To everyone, but most especially, those that die needlessly and don't even leave an afterimage.
WARNING: Angst, perhaps majorly. Duo talks with an L2 accent, which mostly I just imagine as a little bit of everything and kinda hard to understand, so if you're have trouble reading him, there's sorta a "dictionary" down below. However, I would like to suggest trying to read without it, because I think it helps A) the illusion and B) it's really not that hard to understand once you get use to it (at least, I don't think so).
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing or anything associated with said anime. However, I am particularly proud of this little piece so if you don't mine… glows with pride
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Afterimage
"A dying solider takes no sides
A dying solider doesn't cry
A dying solider wants the world to see
A chance that died before it could be free
(The Nameless solider – Me)."
-Meiran Change; The Death Bell (GW)
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***
A black image is shown, the slight static buzzing. A flash of white and then a picture leaps onto the scream. A young man of around twenty is sitting in front of the camera, lazily sprawled in a chair, messing with something off view. He is wearing a black t-shirt with black jeans and white socks. A long auburn braid trails down his back and falls on his lap, moving with his slight movements. After a few moments, the young man looks up, revealing large violet eyes, a slightly upturned nose, and pale lips pulled up in a quirky grin, all of this giving him an elfin look.
"Heya!" He waves at the camera. "Duo Maxwell here. You may have heard of me." He laughs, his head tilting back slightly, and he absently mindedly tosses his braid over his shoulder. "Y~ep! Ex-Gundam pilot of Deathscythe and current Preventor," his smile droops slightly before returning, "at your service. So, you're probably wondering what I'm doing. Well, see, the thing is, by the time an of you good people see this video, I'm going to be dead." His face is suddenly deadly serious, a strange look for so young a man, and a person can tell that it's not a look that usually inhabits his face. "Yeah, that's right, I'm dead. Actually, you should already know that, because it'll probably be all over the news." He raises his voice mockingly, the cadence of his voice changing completely, "Duo Maxwell died today during his job at the Preventors, trying to defend the world once again. We will mourn his passing and blah, blah, blah." He shifts in his seat and resumes in a normal voice. "Bullshit. All of it. And that's why I'm here today, on your loevely screens. To tell you about how all of it's complete and utter bullshit…" A sad smile crosses his face and he looks off-screen; not at someone else but rather as though he was seeing something only he can see. "See, I'm not doing this for me. It's a little pointless to try and get revenge when I'm not going to be there to enjoy it, isn't it? So, anyways, the reason that I'm doing this is because of the other pilots. 'Course, they don't know what I'm doing either and it's better that way." He lets out a sad laugh. "They're great guys, the whole lot of them. Very loyal. You don't get many people in the world that are loyal anymore. But they are." Suddenly looks back at the screen. "And that's why I'm doing this, because they deserve a lot better. Because they deserve to live."
"He shifts to get more comfortable, his braid swinging behind him. "See, the thing is, the government doesn't tell you all that's going on. Sure, they say that they're telling you everything but the plain fact of the matter is, that they don't. So, I'm here to tell all. Too bad I'm not given an interview or I could actually answer some questions. As it is, I'll just have to tell my story like it is, and you'll just have to figure out what I don't say." He looks thoughtful for a moment. I guess the best place to start would be the beginning, ne? So… now the question is, what is the beginning? I guess I should start with the fact that during the war, all we could think about, when it finally dawned on all of us that we were going to live, we kind of started talking, about what we wanted to do with our time. Shit like that. And here's the thing. More than anything else, we wanted to life. Just live for ourselves for once. Se, we'd been living for other people for a long damn time and, frankly, we were ready to trying something new, something different." He suddenly looks intently at the camera, as though he could see through the screen and see the viewers. "See, we didn't get the lives like you all had. We all came from fucked up families. Even Quatre. Most of us had never even such a thing as a home. All the thing all you people out there take for granted, that's what we wanted. We wanted to go to bed in the same bed every night. We wanted to wake up and learn how to make our own breakfast. We wanted to find out what we wanted to do and then do it." A bitter laugh escapes his lips as his view focuses inward. "But we didn't get any of that, now did we? See, the only one that wanted to join the Preventors was Wufei. None of the rest of us wanted that. We wanted to go somewhere quiet, rest and relax, and mourn our dead. And we did for a little while. Then the second war came. You all know what I'm talking about. People aren't going to forget that war for a while. And we were called back into action. And we went."
He sighs and, though his lips keep grinning, his eyes turn very sad. "And then the war was over and were ready to start finding what it was we wanted to be doing… when the government decided that we couldn't be trusted." The smile slowly melts from his face as he recalls, "I remember that day very well. You don't forget the day the people you saved stab you in the back. You don't forget the day all your dreams melt around you. Years of dreams gone in a split second. It's a sad moment to live through. Even sadder to see it happen to the people you love. But anyway, we were all sitting in the hospital watching over Heero, because he got real messed up taking down that fortress, and in walked Lady Une. You know, that commander lady who used to work for OZ. I'll give her this, she got straight to the point. Told us straight out what was happening." He laughs another bitter laugh. "At least they can say that much. They didn't beat around the bush. Told us right out that because of how framile the new peace was, they couldn't trust us. Not us, who'd saved the peace twice now. Now, we had one of two choices. We could either go to prison for a hundred year sentence, or we could join the Preventors and work for them until we were sixty. We were actually surprised." Hw bows his head for a moment, hands rubbing at his face as though he could dislodge the memory.
"She left us after the news, telling us that she was giving us time to think it over. She knew as well as we did, there wouldn't be any thinking, we knew what we had to choose. We'd be dead or useless by the time we got out of jail. People are living to be a hundred and twenty nowadays, but that's only if your in top condition. At least in the Preventors we could sort of have a normal life, live a little bit for ourselves, and we'd be out sooner. Though to tell all truth, though we never talked about it, I don't think any of us believed that they'd let us go then, either. But it was better than the alternative. Better than living in a cell." His voice turns bitter. "Of course they told us we couldn't tell anyone. And of course they waited till Wufei was out of the room. So he was overjoyed that we'd "decided" to join. I think that was the first time we ever lied to one another. It shattered us all, a little bit, I think. And so we went to work. And so we have lived for five years. But it was only a matter of time before one of us died. I don't know if they're trying to kill us, or if they really buy into that we're invincible. I don't know. All I know is that each mission is getting more and more dangerous and everyone knew that it was only a matter of time before one of us died. But they didn't think it'd be me, though."
He suddenly looks stricken, as though he's been talking about his death but it hasn't really hit him. He starts to talk after letting out the saddest little laugh, but it's quiet and it's obvious he didn't plan to say this in front of the camera. "I can't help but keep thinking about all the stuff I wanted to do after I was free to live. I wanted to get a dog, or maybe a cat. I don't know. I never really ever got to be around one or the other, I guess I wanted to find out which one was for me. I wanted to learn how to cook. I wanted to open up an orphanage where everyone would have been welcome and take care of children like me. There's so much I wanted to do. So much." His shoulder shake once… twice… though no sound is heard. After along pause, he finally looks back up, and when he does its obvious that he hasn't been crying, but his eyes are bright with unshed tears.
"And so here I am, trying to make sure that my friends get the chance to do the things they want to do." Another sad smile. "I'm not asking for much. Think of it as a dying man's wish. The only wish and dream that'll ever be granted for him. Set my friend free. Even if the government says that they wanna be there, don't believe them for a second. Push until they're free. Please. It's bad enough that I'm dying without having lived, don't let my friends. Please. This is the only thing I've… we've… ever asked from you. Let my friends life." He turns away, tears sparkling brightly in his eyes. "And that's all I have to say. I'll let you go know. I love you guys. You know who I'm talking to." He turns to the side and messes with something off-view, and the camera goes blank, sucking the last image of Duo Maxwell into blackness leaving only his afterimage eon the back of eyelids before even that slowly disappears.
***
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A/N: I'm not sure if this qualifies as a "deathfic" per se. But, in the end, I decided not to put the warning A) just in case it wasn't and B) because it's such a short fic that it seemed kinda pointless and C) there are plenty of hints in the quote and the dedication that somebody is going to die. I hope that reading Duo's dialect wasn't horrible. If it was, let me know and I can go back and change it. Either way, let me know what you think.
Petra Megami Assari
