A/N: Thanks for all the feedback! Sorry it took a long time to get this chapter up...I'm graduating from medical school in two months, so it's been really busy...keep the comments coming though, I really appreciate them!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, movie, songs or lyrics.
Rating: T to M for language and mature situations
Flight 5107
Chapter Four: rescue me before I fall into despair
My body was utterly still as I gradually regained consciousness. I couldn't lift any muscles. They were all weighted down by something. What was it? Fatigue? Was I paralyzed?
In the distance I heard a seagull cawing. It was an encouraging sound even though I'd always hated those annoying birds before now. The sound staved off the panic that threatened my system because their welcome squawking meant that I was alive.
At least I thought I was alive.
My left eyelid opened slowly, regaining power before the right. All I could see were dark blurs. My other senses kicked into gear to compensate. It smelled like Earth and salt. I opened my mouth and immediately spit out the grains of sand that touched my dry tongue. Gross.
My strength started to return. I raised my head slowly. I could only lift it a few centimeters. It felt heavy, like there was something on it matting my hair down. I reached up and touched my head, feeling some soft fabric wrapping it like a turban. It was then that I realized that my head still throbbed like a motherfucker. Deep breath. It took me a few blinks to refocus my vision.
When all was finally clear, I took in my surroundings. It was overcast, like the days after a big storm. The crashing waves of a teal ocean stretched out as far as I could see. I felt the white sand underneath me and saw palm trees dotting the shoreline. I was on a beach, that much I knew. I could see the stretch of shore, and the water was so blue and vast that I momentarily forgot I was trying to place myself. It looked like somewhere I would go on vacation.
But this was no vacation.
I realized why I couldn't lift my head. There was something wrapped around my neck, a brace? A C-collar? I lowered my eyes to see a bent, fabric-covered metal rod enclosing my throat. What the fuck?
I stretched out my hands, trying to push out and push me up. Nothing doing. I managed to roll myself over onto my aching back. Ouch. Every part of me burned with pain. What the hell had happened?
Wait.
My eyes snapped open as I felt the warmth rushing down the back of my neck. Was I bleeding? I saw his face, inches from mine showing off his perfect rows of glistening teeth. He looked angry and lustful at the same time. He was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. An angel here to take me to heaven, no doubt.
O Speak again, bright angel.
I forced out a sound to get his attention. His eyes grew dark, but then filled with something…what was it, hope?
"Bella?" My name sounded so beautiful when uttered from his lips. If that was the last sound I were to hear on this Earth, I reasoned with myself that I would surely die happily.
He squeezed my shoulders, jarring me, forcing me to recover myself.
I labored, trying to find air. It was so hard. It was like someone was sitting on my chest and greedily taking all the oxygen for himself. Two visions of Edward danced in front of me, the dizziness was taking over. I smiled, two visions of Edward were better than one.
"Ed…ward?" I tried my best to make a strong effort. The warmth increased and I reached behind my head to feel the rush of blood over my fingers. I brought the two fingers up to eye level so I could see the damage. "Uuhhh!"
God, I was hemorrhaging.
My throat suddenly dried as the breaths got more shallow. I'd always been faint of heart when it came to blood. Nausea overtook me and my vision became cloudy with my own tears as my body trembled in his strong arms.
"Don't worry, it'll all be okay. We will be okay."
The same words from my dream. I felt strangely comforted by them, letting them placate my queasiness. If Edward said we would be okay, then we would be okay. As long as I was with him, come heaven or hell, it would be okay.
It didn't matter anymore…death. It was coming, it was inevitable. But if I was with this beautiful being, it wouldn't matter. I would accept it. And I would not fight it.
The tears escaped my eyes as I remembered. I remembered the screams. I remembered the sight of the corpses littering the aisles. I remembered the flicker of the plane engulfed in flames as we escaped.
We escaped.
My head snapped up. My de-conditioned muscle fibers twitched back to life as I found myself alone above the raging sea. Edward. What had happened to my savior? "Edward? EDWARD?" My voice was more of a croak than a yell, but where was he?
"EDWARD! EDWARD!" I mustered all the strength I had to pick myself up. Fuck my weary body for slowing me down. My leg had a large piece of black cloth soaked in dried blood tied around it. No matter, I had to find him. I looked around, I was on a beach, and I was the only thing on the beach. I staggered out into the water, letting the warm ocean wash over my injured legs. There was nothing in the water in front of me. I turned around quickly, there was lush green jungle or forest or whatever. No sign of him.
He was gone. He'd sacrificed himself to save me.
No, no, no. NO!
My body shook as the sobs wrecked me, collapsing me into the surf. The waves crashed over my body as I heaved, devastated. I sputtered as I choked on the salty water. He was the only thing that had kept me alive, and now I was alone. The salty sea pushed me back towards the shore, but I didn't want it to. How would I survive without him? I wheezed in and out as the breathing became too much to bear.
"Bella?" I flipped my head up at the sound.
"Edward? EDWARD?" And out of nowhere, he appeared, looking grim and tired. Even with prominent dark circles beneath his eyes and a frown that could break anyone's heart, he was still the most stunning creature I'd ever seen. He wore his now-tattered white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and black pants still. His perfectly toned muscles peeked out from under the shredded fabric…if I wasn't fully awake before, I certainly was now. His clothes were half ripped off, stained with dirt and blood. My blood.
I should have been distracted by the pain, but all I could see was how sexy he was.
His frown turned into a bright grin as he ran towards me, splashing about in the water, sweeping me up into his arms. "Bella," he breathed, his voice husky and raw.
I pulled back from him, looking into his eyes. They were that gorgeous tawny gold color. Funny, wasn't there something different in my memory? "I thought you were dead," I whispered.
He laughed an ironic laugh and I smacked him lightly, remembering the last time I tried to punch him. I looked down at my still throbbing hand. Jesus, it ached. It was completely bruised and there was a makeshift splint next to the little finger. He spoke and drew my attention. "I'm sorry, I brought you to this side of the island because I didn't want you to see…"
"See what?" My stomach did a flip-flop.
"The wreckage." My abdomen made a gurgling noise as it churned.
"Are we?" I started, knowing the answer. He nodded. "Oh." The tears brimmed over in my eyes again. I thought of all those people. The babies, the women sitting across from us, the flight attendants. Of all of them, why were we the ones who deserved to live? Why not the innocent children or anyone else for that matter? I was weeping now, but I didn't care. It was so unfair.
He patted me on the back to reassure me, holding me tightly. "I want to see it," I whispered.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. It would be too much. I'm trying to clean up as much as I can, and salvage what I can…"
"I want to see it, take me there," I interrupted. He scowled at me, but relaxed his features.
"Okay, I'll take you later, but are you sure you don't want something to eat first? You've been out for two days," he let his fingers trace my cheeks down to my jaw bone. I winced at his touch, it was so cold, but it did feel pretty good since I was hurting all over. He cupped my chin with both of his hands and placed his freezing forehead against my own.
My lungs burned as they begged me not to forget how to breathe. He stared into my eyes, temporarily hypnotizing me, until I realized that something he had said surprised me.
"Two days?" I had no idea. No wonder I was so out of it. "And you just let me?"
"I didn't know how long your body need to adjust to the shock. And I watched you that whole first day. I only wandered away when I felt that you were stable," he paused with a beat of hesitance, "When you weren't screaming…."
He watched over me? That was why I was better now. He had taken care of me. His eyes brimmed with distress. "Thank you, Edward." I took his hands into mine and rubbed circles into his palms, trying to assuage his fears. So cold. I was afraid he was getting sick. Now that he had taken care of me, I would do my best to take care of him. "For saving my life."
He remained silent in thought. He only nodded. He broke our contact and stood up, looking out towards the sea. I hopped up on my good leg and tiptoed to reach him. He looked down, his face was inches from mine as I put the full weight of my body onto his. I leaned into him, waiting for him to reciprocate, but he gently pushed me away.
His eyes looked apologetic, but they weren't enough to wipe the hurt look from my face. Hadn't he kissed me before we leapt from the plane? Or had I dreamt that while I was asleep?
He wordlessly swept me up and cradled me into his arms, ambling across the beach.
"I can walk by myself, you know," the edge in my voice revealing itself. He obviously had second thoughts about me.
There you go again, jumping to conclusions, Bella. Of course he couldn't want you…not like that. Look at him. Look at you. Yeah, right. Don't be an idiot.
The rejection hurt more than my broken body did.
"I'd rather you not, the wounds on your leg are still oozing. I did what I could to clean it, but you need to keep it elevated and rested. I think you might have some bruised ribs, maybe even a neck injury. You need to take it easy." I looked down at my leg and realized that it was the remnants of his suit jacket that acted as my bandage.
He stopped at a small area of the beach a few hundred feet from where I had awoken. There were two logs laid out facing a small fire pit. Edward expertly started a fire. He pulled out a fish speared on a stick that had been placed behind a log and held it over the fire. He went fishing while I was unconscious? The smell of the charred fish made my stomach growl…and then churn.
"Oh god, excuse me." I stumbled away from the fire, trying to get as far as I could as the contents of my stomach heaved themselves out of my body. I kneeled down in the sand with my head between my elbows. The stench of the vomit made me wretch again.
"Bella?" Edward worriedly ran to my side.
I gasped. "Please. It just…reminded me of the way the plane looked when we jumped. The burning, the smell of ashes…" The bile rose to the back of my throat as I again released all of the stomach acid that was slowly eroding my body. Edward grabbed the hair that was exposed from my dressing and held it back.
I saw the faces of the other passengers. It was so fucking unfair. Why me and not them? I didn't deserve to be the one to live…wasn't it supposed to be survival of the fittest? I ripped the cervical collar from my neck and tossed it aside.
"I'm sorry." He looked ashamed. His golden eyes were filled with turmoil.
"How would you have known it would affect me this much? You can't read my mind." I snapped. His eyes darkened, and I immediately regretted my words, not really knowing why.
"Thanks for reminding me." Reminding him of what? He turned his head from mine, looking confused and conflicted. I could see the regret dripping off his expression. "Bella, you need to go back to the fire and eat something, you're weak," he kept his voice even, not allowing his disappointment to seep through.
I hated the paternal tone of his words. I spat back, not being able to contain my emotions anymore. "You're not the boss of me. Why can't you just let me be? Why are you controlling my life? You should have just let me die!"
His cheeks stung, like I had slapped them with my words.
"Is that what you want? To be dead?" he snarled at me, his teeth blinding me.
"Just leave me alone." He stood motionless, perfect as usual. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"
He muttered something to himself, something that sounded like, "Fuck you."
He let go of my hair and trudged back to the campfire. I could hear the sizzling and crackling of the fish, but I didn't dare to look back. I was being a total bitch and totally unreasonable and ungrateful. I knew that. I was thankful for him, really I was. He was being so protective, and me being me, I just couldn't deal with it. I had always hated when people took care of me. It always felt like I was losing control, and I needed that control to keep myself together.
And now, I was unraveling. Especially with all the emotions running through my head, I was confused and scared. I'd always bottled everything up until I burst and of course, this was no different. I breathed in deeply, trying to make the nausea dissipate. I was an ungrateful bitch. Add that to the list of qualities that would spurn him from me. He didn't deserve my reaction. I would apologize for my behavior and hope that he wasn't too angry.
Eventually I turned around, but he was gone. He left the whole fish behind, and I didn't realize how hungry I was until I ripped into it, finishing it off quickly.
"Edward? Edward?" I called out, hoping to make a truce. He didn't come.
My stomach gurgled again, but probably not for the same reason as before.
His eyes, his face. He looked like he was so hurt.
His face was pained, I wondered if he was hurt also. He didn't look it, but he looked worn out.
My face must have twisted in pain because he picked me up, wrapped me in a blanket, and hooked the seat cushion to my body. Where are we going, I wanted to ask. The words didn't come. He held me close and then in a matter of seconds we were at the front cabin door.
How did he do that? Who was he, Superman? He looked at me, shrugging slightly. Maybe time was passing faster than I thought. I couldn't hold back my labored breaths, they just kept coming, more and more shallow.
I watched in awe as he kicked aside the drink cart with his leg, crumpling the metal in the process. He was amazing, my hero. I searched his eyes for any type of meaning, and I wasn't exactly sure of what I was expecting to find there.
"Edward…your eyes…are black."
He smirked at me, keeping his secrets again. "You're okay, Bella. I just need you to hold on tight. Don't let go. Do you hear me? Whatever you do, don't let go."
I gripped on tighter, my scraped knuckles starting to bleed.
I tried to focus on something other than the blood on my hands. It was then when I finally heard all the screams and moans of those who were injured. Bodies littered the floor and slumped over in seats. I gasped and the tears came more readily. The plane was still jerking about and I couldn't be sure that it wasn't that making me nauseous or if it was the fact that I was looking at a blood bath.
It smelled like vomit, blood and death. And I would not forget that.
I tried to be strong as I leaned on him, but I couldn't even believe it myself.
"Bella, do you trust me?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Just hang on, everything will be okay, Bella. I promise."
I don't know why, but I believed him.
"I just want to try something…"
He leaned down and lingered a few distressing centimeters from my face. "Be very still…don't move." He pressed his cool lips against mine, sending an electric volt through my weakened heart.
"I've wanted to do that since I saw you," he grinned.
Before I could even respond, he squeezed me tight and jumped. The sky exploded around us as the warmth enveloped our entwined bodies.
I didn't realize I was bawling until I tried to look out toward the water, a curtain of smeared tears obscured my vision. We jumped out of an airplane…with no parachute. And we survived.
The questions raced through my brain. How did we do that? How did he know we would make it? How was he not hurt? How did we get to this island? Why did he kiss me?
Maybe we were incredibly lucky…and we were, no doubt, but a lot of stars would have had to align in order for us to make it through relatively unscathed. He didn't look like he had a scratch on his perfect body. I looked bruised and beaten, but I was alive…that was a miracle in itself. In normal circumstances I would have never had a chance. And if we had survived, how come no one else had? How did he save me? What had he done?
I am a jerk. I've pushed another one away.
This realization hurt worse than any contusion on my body. I stumbled to my feet. It didn't matter how we got here, I had to find Edward. My stomach gnawed itself; I felt terrible for causing him any sort of pain. I limped towards the greenery at the periphery of the beach. I would start here, the island couldn't be that big, right?
Famous last words.
I trudged through the thick vines and brush trying to avoid stray low branches and unruly roots. I managed to fall only a few times, but the scrapes I sustained were nothing compared to the pain I felt visualizing his face. I stopped in a small clearing, taking in all the sounds of the jungle. The rustling of the wind through the leaves, a bubbling nearby stream, birds chirping about. There were musty odorous moss and lichens, and vines covered the enormous tree trunks. I wondered if there were any dangers in this wild, when it seemed like paradise. Were there other inhabitants on this island?
The sun that had been shrouded by a thick blanket of clouds finally appeared and shone down from the heights of the trees. It was beginning to fade as I made my way deeper into the trees. I had no sense of time at all. I unconsciously shivered, it was cold on the floor of this jungle. Turning myself around, I didn't recognize the path through which I came. Okay, now I was lost. Perfect. We were on an island though, so sooner or later, I would reach the other side of the beach. I just didn't know when that might be. Some furry animal whizzed by me, causing me to jump back and lose my balance. Before I could even stick my hands out to keep myself from falling, I felt the cool grasp of two firm arms underneath me as they swept me up.
I opened my eyes without knowing they were even closed. His eyes glowered at me, his face devoid of any discernable feeling.
"I can't leave you alone for twenty minutes, can I?" he grumbled.
I gave him a helpless smile. "I was trying to find you. I got lost."
"I thought you wanted to be alone," he scoffed at me and then turned silent. He pushed the hanging vines and branches out of the way and kept his steely gaze directed forward, not looking at me.
I'd irreparably hurt him. I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't mean it. Please look at me.
As if he'd read my mind, he redirected his cold glare on my face. I almost recoiled, but his arms held me still. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but he looked so full of fury, so incensed. His lips parted slightly and he started that rapid whispering that I couldn't understand again. His pupils brimmed with hate towards me.
My blood began to boil, angry at myself, angry at him for not being able to forgive me. "STOP IT!"
His fierce eyes met mine. "Stop what?" he bit back.
"Doing that! It's freaky!" Anguish flashed in his eyes as the muscles in his neck prominently grew. My eyes had to have widened in shock and possibly fear. In one fall swoop, he dropped me from his arms.
"Ow!" My tailbone broke my fall, and my face crumpled in shock and dismay.
He had dropped me.
He continued alone the path, solo, not even looking behind me or offering a helping hand.
Not like I really deserved it though.
I clenched my jaw and got up. I would show him, I could take care of myself. The branches crunched below my feet as I unsteadily followed him, slowly at first, but then picking up the pace as I felt more comfortable with my legs. My arrogance betrayed me as my toe stubbed a hidden vine and I went tumbling down.
"Ugghgh," I grunted. I had to give in. "Edward!"
He stopped in his place, his body stoic in rage.
"Edward, help me," I whispered, but he was still somehow able to hear.
He turned and I visibly shuddered at the coolness he exuded. "Why would you want a freak like me to help you?" He huffed, emphasizing the word freak.
I let my pride get the best of me. "You're right, fuck off. I can do it myself."
Before I could try to help myself up, he was at my side, picking me up like a bag of feathers. He remained silent in his irritated state. He continued to walk in silence as I stared up at his perfect, angry face.
"You know, I don't know why you even bothered," I stated.
His eyebrows dared me to continue. "Why did you save me, when all it did was cause you to regret it?"
His legs ceased moving beneath us. He turn and gave me an icy frown. "You think I regret saving you?" he growled. His voice faltered even in anger.
"I know you do…" I averted my eyes to keep from crying.
"You don't know anything." And for the second time in ten minutes, my ass hit the ground. Hard.
What kind of trouble can two people get into on a deserted island, I wonder?
It may be a while before I get to post again...Reviews do motivate me to write faster though...just sayin'. ;)
Inspired by Message in a Bottle by the Police, Trouble by Coldplay, Just like Heaven by the Cure, Land of Confusion by Disturbed or Genesis
