A/N: Another chapter to catch up with those on . Thanks for the reviews and story/author alerts, keep them coming!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, movie, songs or lyrics.

Rating: T to M, for language/adult situations.

Flight 5107

Chapter Eight: i'm afflicted, you're addicted

BPOV

Everything was so fuzzy, blurry. My eyelids were weights that I was not strong enough to overcome. I was obtunded, but yet I could make out spinning colors like I was on some sort of endless carnival ride. Shadows and figures moved around me, casting swirling shadows and enveloping me in their haze. My head ached. There was a churning in the depth of my stomach, the peristaltic waves threatening to reverse their natural course and send me retching again. I tried to swallow but my tongue was a piece of cardboard in my mouth. I coughed instead. Everything was too dark. Why couldn't I see? Why couldn't I open my eyes?

Memories flashed in my head, but I couldn't connect them all together. The plane. The fire. Forks. The airport. Phoenix. Everything was jumbled and warped inside my mind, a slideshow that was all out of order.

Out of all the confusing imagery that was swimming around in my head, there was one image that was completely clear.

Edward.

I was on the ground, my butt hurt. Edward had dropped me. He hadn't dropped me from that far though, how had I lost consciousness? I know I should have tried to get up, tried to move, but I didn't. Edward hated me, I hated me. I wanted to just sit here and die.

He turned back, looking like he was more pissed at himself than at me. His figure was glowing, like he was standing in front of a portal of light or something. His facial features were dark, sinister. He held his hand out to me, but I refused to take it. I squint my eyes at him, if he was just doing this out of courtesy, he could shove it. I didn't need any more false pretenses from this man.

The crows feet around his eyes softened then and I thought I saw a glimmer of something kind in his eyes. Maybe he didn't hate me? Maybe there was something still there for me? No, I knew there was something between us. I just wished I hadn't completely fucked things up. He pulled me up, his forearm muscles strong and taut. Even after a devastating plane crash, he was still unbelievably gorgeous.

His hand was cold, and I couldn't hold onto it for very long. We walked in silence, our thoughts like an ominous cloud over us. As he sped up, my head filled with the memory of Charlie and Renee. Would I ever see them again? Would I ever see anything other than this island?

My eyes watered and I sniffed, not being able to hold back the tears now.

No.

Chills sent a shiver through my body. No, that wasn't the complete story. It was starting to come back to me. I was stuck on this island with Edward. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it being stuck. That word made it sound like some sort of punishment, when in reality, it was the exact opposite. He saved me, he gave me a second chance.

Right?

We'd made up. Hadn't we? Edward didn't hate me anymore, I'd apologized. Things had been starting to improve between us. He promised me he would not leave. Where was he? I cursed at the darkness. My eyelids still refused to budge. It was like they were melted shut. I tried to focus myself on another task, but quickly saw my attempts to move were futile. My body was not yet ready.

My breath started to quicken as the panic set. I wanted to scream, but had no voice. Please let him still be here. Please let me see him again. What had happened? Why couldn't I remember? My brain's fog refused to lift, but I concentrated hard anyway. What was happening to me? This was real, he was real, wasn't he?

Had I made that whole thing up?

Maybe I was dead. I had died in the crash after all. It was foolish of me to think that I, Bella Swan, could have survived such a catastrophic event…it went against the rules of nature. Was this some sort of purgatory? This was the cruel place where I was supposed to feel remorse?

Not likely. Being stranded on an island with a man who surpassed all of my dreams and expectations was surely not designed to make me suffer. And it certainly would not make me any more pure or cleansed.

I felt my heartbeat drum out a fast paced beat causing a sharp ache in my chest. I was not dead. At least not yet. I was very much alive, and very much aware that I could not have made Edward up. He was real. It was an undeniable fact that my imagination was not that creative. Whenever I'd visualized my dream man in the past, I'd dreamt of Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, but now even they seemed absolutely ordinary in comparison. No, Edward was not a fabrication. I couldn't even explain his mercurial eye color, which instantly changed from light straw color to pitch black, nevertheless make it up. And what of all of the other qualities that made up his perfection? The unyieldingly smooth, unmarred, porcelain skin, his radiant smile, and the rusty unkempt hair. Maybe he was too good to be true. But he was certainly real.

The visualization of him brought a lazy smile to my face. The pictures started to piece themselves back into place. I had said I was sorry, and he forgave me. I remembered now, his face at that moment was unforgettable. His hands ghosted on my chin as his glowing eyes gazed into mine. He cared about me.

I felt a warmth creep across my chest and rise up to my face. Surely, the feelings I felt were real. I'd never felt them before with anyone else, so how could I have made them up? That would be impossible. Only he was able to make me feel this way; he made me feel new. Why was the memory so faded though, hadn't all of this just happened?

How long had it been since the plane crash?

I had to have some answers; I had to see his face before mine to placate my jumbled mind. I finally forced my eyes open, but my vision was blurred beyond recognition. There was no sensation, even though I was conscious that my arms and legs were starting to move about. My body was heavy; I had no control over it. Why was this happening to me?

I felt his cool hand brushing my hair away from my neck.

My breath calmed as I became suddenly aware that he was here with me. His presence could not be denied. I tried to speak to him, but all that escaped from my mouth was a fountain of gibberish. What was wrong with me?

It was so hot, I was aware that I was sweating and that I couldn't cool down. Even with his cool skin on mine, it was still too hot. It was also uncomfortably dry. And the pain, it was everywhere. I ached all over, a dull, bothersome feeling in all of my joints and muscles.

I was acutely aware of his hands lightly touching my back, sending a shiver down my spine. God, he smelled like a fresh fruit basket. Was he holding a secret supply of cologne somewhere on the island? I was not worthy of this perfection.

My breath was deep, but labored and I could feel the sweat starting to bead up by my temples. The sand moved beneath me, swirling about and confusing me. It was really cold now. He was leaning into me, his breath cooling my face. His hard lips brushed against my jaw line, lingering around my mouth.

Kiss me, Edward.

I wanted to feel the firmness of his lips on mine. He would feel like ice.

I could feel his lips crushing into mine. His hands ran roughly through my hair, pulling me close, the heat between us resplendent. I reached out for him, to hold him to me, but I felt nothing. My hands flailed around in the air in front of me. I could not feel him next to me. How did he move so quickly?

I felt the slightest of frost nip at my cheeks. He was so close to me. I yearned to speak, to whisper his name so that he would not leave.

My hands blindly grabbed at the air again, needing to feel the softness of his hair and pull him back to my lips, but I couldn't touch him. He wasn't there.

NO. NO!

That had to be real! I willed my eyes to snap open again and this time they obliged. My mouth parted in surprised as it took in the sight before me.

His lips lingered above my own, hesitating to meet mine. They brushed against mine lightly, feeling like a cool mist that immediately melted on my lips.

I couldn't be sure now if this was real or if it was a figment of my overactive imagination. I wanted it to be real, but now that thoughts of kissing him were so fresh in my mind, I had to call into questions the other visions I'd had. I had no control. I couldn't make sense of reality versus fantasy. It was frightening me, how I was slipping away from him. I could feel myself getting more frustrated with every passing second. I couldn't see him in front of me anymore, but I knew there was a place I could go to see him. My eyes gently shut again, and I prayed that the vision of Edward would return.

I was suddenly very dizzy, like I had gotten up too quickly. Except that I hadn't moved. There was an ache, a pull, something that was gnawing at me, draining me. I breathed deeply feeling like someone was pressing on my chest and preventing me from getting air. I could not control the moans of pain erupting from my mouth. It hurt, why was it hurting so badly?

I tried to sit up, although, something was holding me down. My eyes flipped open suddenly, and the blurriness was fading. Everything was so clear, it was shocking.

His eyes were now sinister and dark. He was leaning down by my shins, holding them close to his head. It felt good to have his cold breath against my heated skin. He was kissing my leg and I vaguely put two and two together. He was why my body was feeling so strange. The smile that played on my lips when I first saw him quickly disappeared. The pain. What was that? It felt like a vacuum had latched on and was stealing the wind from my lungs, the beats from my heart, the acid from my stomach. I was being robbed of life.

His eyes quickly flickered over mine, but he must not have liked what he saw, as he clenched his eyes shut quickly. His face was abnormally calm for someone who was slowing killing me, but I loved it anyway.

Screams escaped from my mouth, tears escaped from underneath my eyelids. Pain seared through my body, making me tremble and wish I were dead so that it could be over.

My body was on fire and then it was ice cold. Even though everything had become so clear, it was soon becoming hard to concentrate again. I lost control of my thoughts again and they were just a blur of colorful ideas. I just felt so tired, so worn out. I wanted to sleep forever. I wanted to be in his arms forever, safe.

And then it ended.

---

When I woke the second time, he was gone. My leg throbbed, but I felt so much better. My skin was no longer as flushed, and I wasn't shivering. Best of all, I was completely cognizant of my surroundings. Everything was clear enough to realize that the one I adored was missing from my side.

I looked at my injured leg, the pus had been drained, the skin was no longer swollen and hot. A miracle? I stood up quickly, hoping to find Edward outside, but my balance failed me. I guess I was still pretty weak.

Crawling on all fours, I was determined to get outside. Slowly, I made it, only to be disappointed when I didn't see him there. He had to be here somewhere, maybe he was off finding more food or something. I lay on the damp sand and waited.

And waited.

It was nightfall before I woke up again. Still no sign of him. I had to find food somehow, I was famished. My legs bucked underneath me as I tried to get up, but somehow I made it, though not very far. He'd given me strength and food and all of the other things I needed to survive. I needed him. Where was he?

Instead of taking another step, I just sat back down on the sand to rest. Where was I, and how come no one had come to find us yet?

His breath was sharp as he inhaled. My weary head lifted to see him emerge from the water.

"Bella!" His voice was full of relief and joy. He ran to me, and threw his arms around me, holding me tight to him. He was cold, but I was getting used to it. Actually, nothing felt better than him next to me. He pulled away slightly and looked at me in awe, shaking his head slightly.

"Where were you?" I whispered. His eyes were the warm honey tone that delighted and excited me. I wished I could just melt into him and be apart of him.

"I went out to search for other islands. I had to find you help. I didn't think you were going to make it." He squeezed me tightly in his arms and I never felt so right.

"But I did because of you. Edward, please don't leave me again. I was so scared."

"You're here because of me," he said as he bowed his head in shame.

"Edward, promise you won't leave, okay? I don't want you to go..." My voice cracked and the tears threatened to fall again.

He shook his head, his eyes mirroring a deep pain. He sighed in defeat, "Well, like I said before, where else would I go?" He placed his head against mine, and softly kissed my cheek. Oh, the frost burned, but it felt good.

But wait…

"Did you try to swim to another island?" It didn't make sense to me.

He quickly recovered, but I still saw a glimpse of a shocked expression that told me he had a big secret. "Bella, you're tired. You've been very sick."

"I saw you coming out of the water…I…you were…my leg. Wait, how did you get the metal for the hut on the beach?"

He looked troubled for a few minutes, and I thought he'd forgotten I had even asked a question. "Bella, trust me. I'll explain everything - just give me until tomorrow okay? I'll show you everything. But, you need to rest now. I don't think you're completely recovered, and you need to eat something to get your strength up."

"But…" I started, thinking of something else.

"Bella," he warned, his lips curling into a teeth baring snarl. My eyes must have widened because his whole lovely face softened. "Bella, I need you to know that I won't hurt you. Can you do that?"

"I'm not afraid of you," I shared equivocally, unsure of my own thoughts.

His eyes were no longer trained upon mine, but he was staring off into the water. He was so silent, so still that I thought maybe he hadn't heard me. My hands found the edge of his shoulder blade, tracing a soft line on his firm skin.

He flinched away from my touch. "Maybe you should be."

His statement was simple, yet laced with an underlying warning that was not lost upon me. What was so terrifying about him that he felt he had to protect me from it? What was it about him to whom I was drawn? I don't care how many warnings he provided, I would not take heed. I was stupid like that. He was dense if he believed that I would easily surrender and be less intrigued by him.

I touched his jaw and his chin and pulled him gently into me. His body was stiff, like he didn't want to concede. I gripped at him tighter. He was what I needed. He saved me. He kept me alive. He made me question and believe and hope. He made me brave. So whatever it was that was holding him back, I didn't care.

He was mine and I was his. Here in this moment, nothing else existed but us. Not fear, not confusion. There was only one thing running through my mind as all of the fog and mist cleared up from being down for so long. Only one thought existed in my head and it was of him and me together.

"Edward?" I breathed, my head brushing against his chin.

"What, Bella?"

"No matter what you are or what you've done, I don't care."

"Bella, don't…" The creases in his forehead appeared again.

"No, you don't. I need to tell you that whatever it is, it doesn't matter to me. As long as you're with me, as long as you're here, I don't care. I know you think that whatever you have to say will scare me away, but it won't. Trust me. Nothing you could say could push me away."

"I wouldn't make that statement until you know all the facts."

"Why do you think that I could feel anything less than what I feel for you now?"

"You can't begin to understand the things you don't know."

"Then why don't you explain it to me? I'm not some sort of simpleton. I don't think it'll be too much over my head. Unless it's something wrong with me." I tried to control my tone, but even I could hear the scowl in my voice.

"What? How could you think that?" His shocked expression surprised me. I'd never seen him react to anything like that. His cool exterior was finally broken. "How could you think that my actions are a reflection of you? That is preposterous. Don't be foolish."

"So you do think I'm some sort of fool."

He exhaled deeply, closing his eyes in frustration. His hand found the roundness of my cheek and cooled my flush immediately. His other hand quickly swiped through his hair, mussing it so perfectly that I almost forgot how aggravating he was being. His eyes flipped open and his tawny eyes sparkled. "Bella, I did not mean to imply that you wouldn't understand, you are smart and lovely and your mind is beautiful. But, please, for me, just leave this for now. I will, I told you I will when the time is right. Can't we just enjoy the fact that you're headed towards convalescence?"

I crossed my arms in mock defiance as I relented and let him kiss my forehead. "I suppose you won't cave tonight."

"No, I won't."

"Tomorrow, you will tell me everything."

He hesitated, looking away. I crossed my arms over my chest. He exhaled deeply and replied softly, "Yes."

We sat there listening to the crush of the ocean's waves as they crashed upon the sand. My head rested against his shoulder and I marveled at how delicate yet strong his features were. My eyes traced imaginary lines up his neck to his chiseled jaw. Flawless. He sighed softly as his fingers ghosted along my spinal column.

"What it is, Edward? Ready to talk?"

The lines around his eyes crinkled as he feigned disapproval.

"No, not yet. Patience is a virtue."

"You're obviously thinking very hard about something. I'm not a mind reader you know."

"Really? Interesting, I was beginning to think you had some extraordinary power that was allowing you to see right through me."

"Don't try to turn this back onto me. Spill it."

"I was just thinking about something you just said."

"And what was that?"

"You asked if I thought you could feel anything less than what you feel about me."

My cheeks were instantly warm. I hated how he paid the utmost attention to every detail.

"Yes," I quietly agreed.

"I was wondering, what it is that you feel for me?" His eyes smoldered and I blinked quickly several times in succession to try and remember the question.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I tried to un-cast myself from the spell he'd placed on me.

"The question?"

"Oh, sorry…" I muttered.

"Now who isn't speaking her mind? Cat got your tongue, Bella?"

"Umm, no, I just…it's a little embarrassing."

"How so?" His eyes bored into mine, and I had to look anywhere else but at them.

He took my hand in his and stroked tiny circles on it with a feather touch. "Well, it's petrifying to think that you might not feel the same."

"I can guarantee you that will not be the case."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say. Who thinks they're the mind reader now?"

"Hmm, well it would be make it very easy if that were the case. I'm usually good at reading people, but you, Bella Swan, are a mystery. I told you that before on the plane, and it is truer now than ever."

"Okay, well what do you think I feel for you?"

"Irritation?" he conjectured with a wink.

"Sometimes."

"Aggravation," he offered slyly with a soft smile.

"Most definitely."

"Abhorrence?" he asked with the slightest hint of uncertainty. Alert the presses, Edward Cullen unsure of himself? I didn't know him that well, but I had a feeling this was the rarest of occurrences.

"Never," I replied assuredly, smirking in the knowledge that I actually had the upper hand for once.

"Never? That's very confident of you." The corner of his lip rose, flashing me that dazzling crooked smile of his.

I rolled my eyes at the return of the smugness. "Well, don't push it."

I leaned my head back onto his shoulder. He stiffened and I looked back up at him. His eyes were serious. "Bella, all kidding aside, I have to know. What do you feel for me?"

It was a few moments before I could collect my thoughts. We'd been dancing around our feelings the whole time we'd been here, however long that was. It was time for some honesty.

I started slowly, picking up speed as my confidence increased. "I've never felt like this about anyone, and I don't use these terms lightly. You make me feel this…like…uncertainty, this twisting of my stomach, all the time, and it scares me but it excites me."

"You feel uncertain about me?" His brow furrowed.

"No, definitely not...it's not an uncertainty about you. It's just a manifestation of my mental state, like butterflies in my stomach."

"I don't understand."

"I'm not even sure I understand it. I've never felt this way about anyone before. You make me nervous, but happy. I mean, I like the way you make me feel. It's like…you're really going to think I'm foolish now with my yammering. You are…I just…I think I love you."


Inspired by Infected by Bad Religion, Save Me by Aimee Mann, All These Things I've Done by the Killers