Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns everything!


Bella's POV

1863, Houston, TX

I know that I'm a fantastic shot and that I can throw a good punch but that certainly didn't mean that I was a good fighter; that was Jasper's job. I let go another small sob as I looked on at my brother's too-small uniform that he left behind. How was I going to do this? Could I do this?

Yes, I could. For Jasper. I need my brother. And I know that the army wouldn't listen to a woman who had questions. We were women, to them, I was lowly.

Self-doubt started to steal it's way into my body but I shoved it out. I can do this.

I shook my head and squared my shoulders before grabbing the Confederate uniform and sneaking back to my room. I tried my best to be incredibly quiet and I amazed myself at my ability to do so without tripping or breaking something thus far.

I locked my door back and set the uniform upon my bed and took a deep breath. I turned around and looked at myself in my mirror and began to take off my dress, my petticoat, my thick knickers, I struggled a bit with my corset, and then looked at myself in nothing but my underclothing. I felt odd without my corset. I turned to my side to look at myself and was hit with a pang of uncertainty as I looked at my chest.

Oh, those.

What was I going to do about those? I looked around my room. My plan was only to impersonate an officer to sneak in to find information about my brother. I was going to avoid any fighting or combat or anything but just in case, I looked upwards and silently thanked whoever was listening for being taught how to use a rifle in case I was caught. I blew out a breath and looked around some more. I know they aren't exactly flashy as Mama would say but they're large enough to be noticed. I couldn't wear my corset to flatten them.

Ah hah!

I looked down at my feet where I was still wearing my white tights before looking back at myself in the mirror, then down again. I reached down and began to remove them; I wouldn't need them for my feet anyway!

Lifting up the thin fabric I wore between my skin and my corset I began to tie one of my leggings around my chest very tightly. I almost laughed though, because it wasn't nearly as tight as my painful corset but I refrained in fear of waking my parents. After making sure it was secure I pulled the thin fabric back down and looked at myself in the mirror from the front and then both sides. I smiled to myself; I looked like I had gone back to having my old twelve-year-old body before I knew I was supposed to have these things.

I suddenly thanked whoever was listening for not having my mother's physique. Oh those would be impossible to conceal let alone painful. I hear her complaining about the shoulder and back pain all the time. I shuddered and hurried back to work.

I kept placing on Jasper's clothing and was almost finished when I thought to myself that Jasper and I didn't have the same size feet. I looked around frantically, my heart plummeting, until my eyes set upon the boots Jasper bought me for riding. Those would be perfect! Now that my plan wasn't foiled thus far, I hurried to complete the look.

Finally, I stepped in front of the mirror with Jasper's extra hat in my hands about to put it on when I noticed that my hair was much too long to pass for a boy. I froze. I was not about to cut my hair! I pulled it down from its pins and curls and ran a comb through it to smooth it out as I pondered what to do.

As I lifted my hair from my neck to comb the underside I stopped and had an epiphany. I looked from my hair pulled back from my face and neck and to the hat, the idea forming too quickly for words. I had read about this only in books and wondered if it would work! I pulled my hair tightly around my head and put so many pins in I was sure if I stepped outside during a lightning storm I would be immediately hit with lightning and placed the hat over it all.

I still looked a dash too female for this. I frowned.

Apparently I only pretend to be intelligent. I thought. Makeup.

I had to clean my makeup from my face that my Mama makes me wear. I hurried to the small basin upon a stand along my wall, took off the hat, and proceeded to wash any remnants of the coloring from my face then proceeded to take my pen as I went towards my mirror. My eyebrows were still too thin for a man but I was about to fix that by a little coloring in.

Five minutes later when I was sure that I would pass for a male with no problem I hurried to pack other necessities before blowing out my candles and sneaking from my room to my father's study for his gun, ammunition, and gun powder, then made my way to the kitchen area.

I was glad that my father had implemented a rule that no one was to be in our home while we were sleeping for fear that we would be killed in our sleep from servants or otherwise so I needn't worry about being caught once I made it down the stairs and to the kitchen with a bag to fill with food and multiple canteens of water since I was only vaguely sure of where to go.

Once done, I didn't bother writing to my parents where I was going because I knew I would be found out in no time if I did. My mother wouldn't be able to stand the true loss of a child; she was barely getting by with thinking that Jasper was only missing. I shrugged and made my way out to the stables where my horse stayed.

I hurried and readied my horse for the journey. I already knew he was fantastic at long distances since he had been on multiple trips and through multiple spooks so he wasn't easy to make scared.

"It's okay boy," I whispered to him when he made a bit of noise, "It's only me, it's only your Bella. Shh."

I lead him from the stable and after double-checking I had everything upon my horse and my person, along with Jasper's "J" blanket (since I couldn't live without it) I brought my horse to a full gallop and we were gone into the night.


I made my way into town and noticed that it had taken me nearly all night to ready myself for my journey, as the sky was slowly beginning to lighten. I knew I had to hurry if I had any hope of this working. I looked about town for any signs of where I needed to go and I caught sight of what appeared to be a newspaper.

I gathered that I had to travel northeast and begin my real search there when I met up with someone I recognized from the letters and photo's Jasper sent home. I looked down at my pack and saw that said letters he addressed to me and said photos were still safe in their place before urging my horse to go as fast as he could.


I pulled my hat down a bit when I entered another town after leaving home nearly a week ago. I knew I was somewhere in Louisiana by this point and I tried not to rush my horse as I let him stop for food and water. I was making my way northeast towards Mississippi, then through Tennessee where I knew he was last seen.

I checked my map, looked at the town name and saw that I was making much better progress than I thought and I smiled to myself as I allowed my horse to rest. I had money that I had taken from home that I used to buy myself some food. All around people were staring at me and a few asked if I was joining the war. When I nodded I was clapped upon the back and I tried to smile as manly as possible and nod before quickly making my way away from them.

After resting for a while and doing a once-over on my horse I looked at him, "Ready boy?" I asked before mounting and high-tailing it out of there.

My journey lasted so long that I wondered if this really was a good idea but every time I thought about that I forced myself to look at a picture of Jasper I brought along with me and my resolve hardened just a bit more.

As I entered yet another town I looked up and was surprised to see other Confederate soldiers making their way through the town. They noticed me and waved me over, asking my name, rank, et cetera. I answered all of their questions using my knowledge about my brother and was incredibly happy when one of the other men announced that they were supposed to go the same place as I. When they asked if I wanted to accompany them on the journey I quickly agreed and we were on our way, knowing that we didn't have much longer to go.

I prayed that I had the guts to find what I needed. The army had to know something that happened to him. Don't they keep tabs on their soldiers when they, I gulped, fall?

I shook my head and continued.


I finally made it. This was where Jasper was last. I sneaked away from the men I had joined up with to find my way up here and tied my horse up and began my search.

Where had Jasper stayed? I recalled him telling me in his last letter but I knew that they usually moved quickly but a few usually stayed such as nurses, cooks, and others.

I had to find the documents that said anything at all about my brother, and I had to do it fast so I wouldn't be caught.

Multiple times when I was riding with the other men they had asked why I was so shy to do my business around the rest of them and I had blushed so hard I swore I was going to get caught.

To my astonishment they left me alone.

I looked to the sky when I noticed that night had fallen and I raised an eyebrow. Night had fallen? Already? Was I really not paying attention?

I shrugged and went back to my horse after locating an area that seemed promising. I had to copy other soldiers and salute other men I did not recognize at random intervals. I knew it wouldn't be any good for me to not fit in by some mistake like that. Oh, no, not good indeed.

When I got back to my horse I decided that I would wait till complete nightfall before starting my search. Men were still awake right now and I knew from Jasper's letters that there were far less men on duty during the night to guard things such as the documents as they were all checking other surrounding areas for Yankees.

I un-tethered my horse and decided to wait near the tent I picked out for my first bit of research but behind it slightly towards the woods. I re-tethered the horse, gave him water and some food and sat on the ground after relieving him of some of the weight he had been carrying.

I sat and listened for a while to see when things would quiet down and was awarded for my patience after the man who was supposed to be guarding the tent left. I had no idea how long he'd be so I hurried and searched through the names listed, thankful that they were surprisingly in alphabetical order.

Whitlock. Whitlock. Whitlock! YES! My eyes came to rest on a very small picture of my brother and a small file. My smile faded when I only saw "Currently M.I.A." scrawled next to the last duty he performed along with a note saying that his possessions were placed in box that suddenly disappeared three days after he turned up missing.

Oh, I wanted to cry. I thought for sure that they would have something they weren't telling my family. It turns out that I thought much more highly of their record-keeping skills than I should have. I placed the parchment back where I found it and stared dejectedly at the wall.

I was about to let my tears fall when suddenly I heard a gunshot nearby. I ran out of the tent quickly, pulling my rifle from my horse and quickly preparing it for fire. The shot had come from the wooded area nearby. I gulped down my fear and grabbed my bag of my most prized possessions. I'd rather have them just in case I was accidentally found and had to run.

I made my way deeper and deeper into the woods. I was trying to be very quiet and I could hear other men around me doing the same as I. We were investigating. Something happened out here. We only heard the gunshot; nothing more and that alone was suspicious; especially so close to a military base.

There was another gunshot but this time it was accompanied by a shriek. I had never heard a man make such a noise and truly it scared me. I began to berate myself for even coming all the way out here. I should be at home back in Texas in my bed mourning my brother, not here walking through woods getting more and more scared like a girl like me should be.

Oh, I wish I had listened to my mother and just stayed at home knitting, getting married off, and already having a child like the other girls my age in the town.

I stopped mentally berating myself for a split second and I noticed that everything around me had gone completely silent.

Silence.

Silence was not good in my situation. I knew that. Jasper had taught me that much. He told me bad things happen in complete silence, and he told me exactly how I would feel if something bad were going to happen.

I had that feeling. It was much, much worse than my brother had explained.

I was terrified.

I heard a twig snap in the darkness to my right and I swung my body in that direction, pointing my rifle, ready to fire.

"Hello?" I tried. "If you don't want me to shoot at you, you will say something back to save yourself!"

What I heard next was a growl. I froze and let my eyes whirl around till I felt a breath against my face.

I looked and caught a glimpse of pitch-black eyes before I felt a piercing pain upon my neck.

I pulled my trigger and barely heard the sound.

What is this? I felt my body start to weaken as with each pulse in my body my blood was taken from my body.

My blood. I had only heard stories of what was happening to me and never believed them and yet, here I was. I felt the hands that held me still and the face pressed up against my neck.

"No. I have to find Jasper!" I whispered.

Suddenly the pulling of my blood stopped and the thing jumped back. I fell to my knees, raising a hand to my neck. I could barely see in the blackness of the night but I knew that was it for me.

"Oh, oh, oh, no!" I heard the thing whisper. The vampire.

Then my neck began to burn and I let out a strangled yell that was quickly muffled by the beautiful creature. Then I was airborne, I felt my bag still on my body and felt only a small relief.

Oh, the burning!

This was how I was going to die?


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