A/N To all my awesome readers and reviews. I'm sorry this took so long, but I think it was well worth the wait and as a special treat I am almost done with the next chappy, so keep an eye out. Also, stephenie meyers owns these characters.

Bella woke up some time after five in the morning. She wanted to go home, briefly explaining her need for comfy clothes and her own blankets. My idiot mouth almost told her she was home. But my male ego said to put a sock in it.

I understood. There were countless times after my one night stands that I longed for the comforts of my room. Interesting enough, Bella was the first person to spend the night here with me. I was anal about not bringing my sex partners back to my place. It was my space, my bed. I really didn't want any of my sexual exploits tainting my sanctuary.

As the door closed behind her, I couldn't help but feel the void she left in her absence. Having her in my room was nice. It was more than nice. It was like she just fit within all my belongings and personal possessions. And now that she was gone, there was this hollowness around me.

Alone again, it would have been a perfect opportunity to put my 'comfy' clothes on, but I didn't. My shirt smelled like a strawberry patch and was still warm from her body. I grabbed a spare pillow out of my closet and used that for my head. I then pulled the blanket back around me and cuddled the pillow we shared to my chest, taking deep inhaling breaths of Bella's sweet scent

I don't know how long I lay there. I was so content to have her in my arms that snuggling with a pillow was a total letdown. I tried to sleep, dreaming of her soft hands clenching mine, mimicking the deep breaths she took while sleeping. I waited for my eyes to grow heavy, but they never did. Sleep was eluding me.

As I focused on the way she perfectly curled into my body, my imagination started down a very dark road. My mind soon became stuck on spin cycle and I couldn't find the off button. Who did it? Was it someone on campus? When did it happen? Shit, that's a pretty obvious answer. Had to be Monday night. Where did it happen? Was any protection used? My stomach lurched at that thought and I had to swallow back down the bile. Oh God, I can't go there. I will not go there now.

Was she drunk? Was he drunk? Was. Was. Was. The list of questions went on and on. No wonder Esme had a job.

There was so much I could think about, dwell on, and agonize over. If this was what my mind was doing to me, I couldn't even imagine what was going through Bella's head.

I grabbed my IPod, hoping music would silence my brain. It too failed. I actually became more frustrated flipping through my playlist, unsatisfied with everything that came across the earphones. Nothing was working and I could feel the kinetic energy pulsing through my muscles.

Unable to take it any more, I changed into shorts and a pull over and put my sneakers on. I was never overly athletic or obsessed with weightlifting like Emmett, but I always enjoyed a run. And right now I could run the Boston Marathon with the pent up energy flowing inside me. I was just about to pocket my IPod, when thought better of it. If music didn't help me 10 minutes ago, it wasn't going to help me 10 minutes from now.

Oddly enough, I waited until I was across campus to the outdoor track stadium before I started running. The walk over gave me time to acclimate to the cold morning air. It was still dark with some security lights illuminating the track. I could see the faint line of day in the east. The sky was clear and the stars were still bright. They reminded me of stubborn birthday candles that won't go out. Only when your breath is right above them, will they finally submit. The stars were being as persistent as the nagging questions in my head.

Of course I was the only one on the track. Who else would be out here at 6 in the morning? I set my pace slow at first, letting my legs and lungs adjust. By the second lap I was at a good clip and I finally let my mind go free. My legs began to burn and the initial side cramp that always appears at the onset of a run had dissipated. The air was silent except for my even pants and rhythmic footfalls. I couldn't shut off my thoughts. I couldn't contain my imagination, but I could run it out of my system, at least temporarily.

With each pound of the pavement I pushed through the myriad of emotions and questions and insecurities that plagued me since Bella left my room. Did I do the right thing? Did I say the right words? Did I really help or only make things worse? I couldn't help the doubt that was starting to hang over me creating a heavy feeling in my chest. It was so important to do the right thing, but how do I even know what that is. Maybe I need to have another talk with Esme. I'm pretty sure though if I want back to her, she would enact some family torture technique to get me to reveal Bella's name. I was not ready to do that.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even realize I was no longer alone. Somewhere after my 7th lap, Emmett had joined me. Silently he paced me and together we just ran.

The sky was light and the sun was just breaking when we stopped. Walking around the track cooling down, Emmett finally broke the stillness. "How is she doing?"

Physically and mentally exhausted, I laid my cards out on the table, "I don't know."

Emmett didn't question, he just gripped my shoulder in understanding. It was moments like this that I truly appreciated him as a friend.

"I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing?" I said after a moment. Emmett gave me another squeeze before releasing my arm. I felt a sense of relief that comes from just having someone truly listen.

"Just be there," Emmett finally replied. "Look. I don't know what's going on and I'm not gonna pry. But the best thing you can do is just be there for her, no matter what she wants."

"What you're a psychologist now?" I teased, unsuccessfully trying to lighten the mood.

"No. I just… I know where you're at. I've been there before. Trying to help someone who was going through a really shitty time. It's not easy and it sucks. The only thing you can really do is just listen and accept and. Well. Just be there," Emmett reassured me. I didn't need to look at his face to grasp his sincerity. It was written all over his body language and laced in his words.

I suddenly felt the weight of Bella's secret shift within me. I may be the only one who knows the truth, but I'm no longer carrying this burden alone. Even through he didn't know, Emmett understood. And that said volumes to me.

"Thanks man," I said as I gave him a kind slap on the back. That was male speak for 'you're a good friend.' We headed back towards the dorm when the thought occurred to me. "What the fuck are you doing out here so early? Rose is going to be pissed if you conk out on her early tonight."

"I'm gonna take a nap after lunch."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You know, first comes naps, then you have to get dentures and pretty soon, you'll be needing a prescription for those little blue pills."

"Fuck Off! Mister I have my own stock pile of penicillin for all the dirt skanks you fucked last year," Emmett snapped before playfully punching me in the arm. Guys have such easy relationships. We can totally rag on each other and still be the best of friends.

Emmett followed me back to my room where I gave him his 'fucking Rosalie' cd. He almost punched me again when he saw those words scribbled on the disc. I laughed at his supposedly menacing glare and shoved him on his way, telling him to "have a nice nap." I swore he growled back at me before he left my hall.

I was just about to open my door when I realized with utter amazement how lighter I felt. The questions and concerns plaguing my mind before I left the dorm were still there, but they somehow seemed more manageable. They weren't as suffocating. It gave me some perspective and allowed me to concentrate on one thing at a time. And the most important thing right now was seeing Bella again.

After my biology lab, I headed to the cafeteria.

I entered the place and started my search. Thank goodness for small colleges. I couldn't imagine having to search through thousands of students for the brown haired beauty I sought. But I couldn't find her and was starting to feel self -conscience just gawking around the room. I grabbed some fajitas from the lunch line before weaving my way thru the tables. I was hoping I looked less obvious with a tray of food.

I saw Angela. I found Alice. But no Bella. Maybe she was late. It is a fairly common phenomenon with females. I started towards Alice because if Bella did show, she would sit with Alice. Unless she was still pissed over the little stunt Alice pulled yesterday. Actually, I still should have been upset with her too, but the lost look on her face made me feel guilty for my behavior yesterday. She was Bella's best friend and my close friend. I didn't really have any right to take my frustrations out on her. So I decided that some peace making was in order. She was looking around the room so I grabbed the seat next to her before she could object.

"Alice. I am really sorry for being such a prick yesterday. I didn't mean to bitch at you like that," I sputtered out quickly, internally bracing myself for retaliation. But Alice just stared at me, sizing up my sincerity. After a moment, she spoke.

"How is she doing?"

I think my mouth was hanging open with in confusion. I had expected to be scolded, yelled at, ignored, or even slapped. But I had no clue where this question came from.

"How is she doing, Edward?" She repeated, looking at me like I had two heads.

"Huh?"

"Ok. Let's start again. Slower this time so you can understand." She turned her body towards me as if she was addressing a child. I should have back-handed her. But that would have negated the purpose of apologizing.

"How is Bella doing this morning? I assumed you found her last night."

A shiver went up my spine at her uncanny intuition. "Wait. How the hell did you know that?"

"I just know."

God damn cryptic pain in the ass.

"Look. After you got all cave-man on me yesterday, I knew you wouldn't let it go until you talked to her. So I'm guessing that you ran around campus looking for her. You must have found her because she didn't go back to her dorm last night."

"God, Alice. Are you fucking spying on me or something?"

"I prefer 'or something'," she smirked, her facial feature snarky for a moment before turning soft. "Edward. You were right yesterday. I was being too pushy with Bella. If you haven't noticed I'm not a really patient person and it was making me a little crazy seeing her all bottled up like that. So I did something stupid. I pushed her buttons."

I stared at her and remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

"Two things were either going to happen. One. Bella would have told me what was going on when I cornered her or, two, she would have told me later when I showed up at her room last night to apologize. I honestly didn't know her arm was bruised or I would never have grabbed her."

"But you being there put option three into play. Giving me a good bitch slapping and knowing that Bella was pissed at you, I knew you would just have to go after her to explain."

"I'm assuming because she didn't go home last night and you aren't frantically searching for her now, that you found her and that she may have talked to you. So back to my original question. How is she doing?"

Holy shit.

I should have been pissed. Royally pissed that she was playing mind games with Bella and I, but I couldn't bring myself to feel that emotion. I knew Alice had an freaky knack of understanding people, especially her friends, but she is a mentalistic genius. She should have followers bowing down to her along with her one 1-900 psychic hotline.

"I think she's doing okay," I said when I found my voice again. "She left pretty early. Wait. How did you know she wasn't in her room?"

"I stopped by there last night."

"Maybe she was just avoiding you." I couldn't resist getting some verbal slap in. I did have some pride left.

"Dork. She wasn't in her room. I checked."

"How?"

"I copied her key."

"Alice!!"

"What? It's not like you aren't still carrying around that master key. Now I don't have to rely on your lazy R.A. ass to get in her room."

"Alice, that is so wrong."

"What are you going to do? Tell the R.A." With that she threw a crumpled napkin at me.

"No. I'll just tell Bella." If this were a game of chess, I would have called "check."

"Go ahead. I'm sure she would love to know you have a key to her room too."

"She already knows."

At this bit of information, Alice choked on her drink. I wanted to yell "checkmate" to her smug little face. Instead I did an internal happy dance.

She turned to me with a look that at first was shock, then amusement and then devious. Shit. This just became a whole other game. I only had two choices, damage control or redirection. I chose the latter.

"Have you talked to her this morning?"

"Yeah. I apologized to her. She forgave me for being such a bitch yesterday, but I knew she would. She seemed a little better. I told her I would always be there if she needed to talk, but that I wouldn't push her anymore."

"If you saw her this morning then why the hell were you asking me how she was doing?"

"I wanted to find out what you knew. You must have realized by now that how she talks to you is different from how she talks to me."

"Alice, You're not going to get into this shit again about Bella liking me freshman year. That was four years ago. A lot has changed."

"Yeah, and some things never change," she grinned. Damn she was really starting to piss me off.

"Well smart ass, if you and her talked this morning and just came from class together, why didn't she join you for lunch?"

Alice's face turned somber again. "I honestly don't know. We were actually in line, when she suddenly bolted saying something about needing to get a book from her room. Did she know you were going to be here for lunch?"

"Yeah, I mentioned it before she left.

"Can I ask you something, Edward?"

I nodded my head as Alice turned her entire body towards me. Her posture stiffened and I could feel a serious discussion approaching. "Do you like Bella?"

Wow. Alice is just full of surprises today.

I sat there quietly, thinking, grateful for the silence Alice gave me. Did I like Bella? Yes. Of course I liked her. We had been friends before all this happened. Thinking back, we shared some great times before junior year. But I know this was not really the question Alice was asking me.

"Why are you asking, Alice?"

I wasn't trying to be evasive, just trying to understand what she was really getting at. It was a loaded question. Women don't just ask pointed questions without a reason.

"I don't want you to hurt her." My mental defensive shield went up immediately at the insinuation that I could ever hurt Bella. Alice took my hand to reassure me I didn't need to get defensive and I began to see the road she was taking me on.

"She's been hurt and she is precious to me. I don't want you to confuse her with some damsel in distress that needs saving. She doesn't need to be saved. She needs to be loved. She deserves it. So I'm asking. Do you like Bella? I hope you do. I think you do. But I just want to make sure you like her for the right reasons."

I knew I liked Bella. She was a great person, but did I like her for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time. I wanted to be there and comfort her. I wanted her to lean on me as she had last night. I wanted to help her. I felt like I needed to help her. I was drawn to her. But why?

As I sat there, thinking over the last few days and my desires to reach out to this beautiful creature, I began reminiscing about older memories of Bella. Ones that weren't tainted by recent horrific events.

The two of us throwing popcorn at Alice and Jasper when we all went to the movies together. Listening to her talk with such passion about classic novels. She once recited lines from Romeo and Juliet from memory. The way she blushed when she fell up the escalator the one time we all went shopping. The more I thought about it, the more memories came flooding back to me. The way she looked after her friends. The time I caught her lying under a maple tree, watching the autumn leaves flutter to the ground around her. She fascinated me then, but I never thought of her as anything more than a friend. But not she totally captivated me. I no longer wanted to rescue her or save her. I just wanted to be around her. What happened to Bella wasn't the reason I was enamored with her. It was only a catalyst; bring her to the forefront of my mind and now my heart.

"Yes, Alice. I do. And I'm not going to hurt her."

"Good. Because I would seriously have to kick your ass."

I couldn't help but laugh at her comment. "Yeah, you and what army, pip squeak."

"You'd be surprised, my dear Edward. You'd be surprised." At that, she placed her garbage on her tray and grabbed her coat. Noting she was getting ready to leave, I looked at my watch. 10 minutes before class. 10 minutes before I saw Bella. 10 minutes too long when you've just realized that the person you want to see, is no longer just a friend in your eyes.

I grabbed my bag, dumped my trash and said good-bye to Alice. All she did was give me a huge smile.

A/N I haven't gotten my Review stamp yet, so I"ll just have to repetatively type it. Review Review Review.

I know you guys can push me past the 150 review mark, because I have awesome readers.