MUST READ MY AUTHORS NOTE!!!!!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!!
(A/N)Okay first I want to thank everyone that gave me a review, because without you people, this story would not have continued. I was personally thinking about just dropping the story but you guys gave me inspiration with your happiness, begging, and a couple threats if I didn't stop writing! =D Don't thank me for writing this story because now, it is all thanks to you! I try to respond to every review but sometimes I forget, but that doesnt mean i don't read and luv them all! I spent all night working on this so I hope you like it! Sry about this really long authors note, but all you reviewers mean so much to me!
Disclaimer-
Me-*In the forest with Edward* Wow, isn't nature beautiful?
Edward- Yes, yes it is
Edward- *pointing* Oh look, a deer!
Me- Oh look! A possum!
Edward- Wow the deer's amazing...
Me- *talking calmly and dreamily* I know... Doesn't it just make you want to run over there and beat it with a club?
Edward- No, not it doesn't. Why not the Possum instead?
Me- Because Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all I own are possums. *runs away in tears*
Chapter 3- Loosing the Light
Waking up sweaty and screaming every morning, isn't a very healthy sign. In fact, most people would have thought I was crazy. And I was.
I had gone mentally crazy here in Forks. I have had dreams about my past before, before I came to Forks. But never like the ones I was getting now! Like it wasn't a dream at all. Like I was there for the first time. It was so eerie. It. Scared. The. Living. Crap. Out. Of. Me.* And there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't control my dreams. Could I?
Charlie came the second he heard me screaming at inhuman speed. Way to stay normal Charlie.
"What's wrong? Bella!? I heard you scream! Are you hurt?" He rambled on clearly upset. I had never seen Charlie care this much for me. He was literally having a panic attack over me. I mean, I knew he was my dad even though I hadn't seen him much, but I realized how much he loved me. How much he had probably missed me when I was gone. He may not be good at small talk and expressing his feelings, but when it came down to it, he loved me more than anything. And I knew that now without a doubt.
I felt a twinge of guilt and shame about never thinking about Charlie and how he must have felt. The time when I went with my mom, how I had never spoken to him, or how happy he was for me living with me. How could I have ever doubted he cared as much for me as Renee does? I would have called him Dad from then on, but somehow, Charlie seemed to fit him in every way. He would always be my Charlie, my dad.
I smiled at Charlie. "Dad, it's okay. Calm down. I had a really bad dream. I guess I was over reacting. There's no need to worry..."
I had to keep going on for minutes telling Charlie how I was okay, and nothing had hurt me. If I hadn't felt so loved by him, I would have been extremely annoyed. I could easily take care of myself against anyone or anything.
Charlie finally camed down and said a little flushed, "Okay kid. Sorry, I guess I did over react. I just, don't want to loose you again Bells."
Yes, he really did love me.
I smiled. "It's okay. You were just being a dad."
He looked at my clock on my night stand and said, "Well, I was going to have to wake you up anyway. It's 6:45. Why don't you go get ready?"
I rolled my eyes. "If I'm not mistaken, Dad, you're in my room."
Charlie looked down embarrassed. "Erm.. Right then. I'll be going.
He quickly rushed out the door, closing it behind him, not needing to hear anything else.
I laughed. Charlie was so much like me.
It turned out, I had to leave my room anyway to take a shower. I could practically melt in the hot water. I need something to atke my mind off everything.
When I got out, I brushed my hair and went to my room. I didn't care anymore about what I wore. I put on a random sweatshirt, jeans, and boots that looked like it wouldn't make me stand out in the crown of students. I knew that school wasn't so fun. The thrill was over before it could build up. And I didn't forget about them being there.
I realized that I still hadn't told Charlie about the vampires. Well... he would just have to find out on his own. I didn't want to go back to being a nomad just yet, no matter how boring this place could be.
I wondered how Charlie was taking to Forks. He seemed happy enough. I would stay as long as he wanted to for the sake of him. I wouldn't take his happiness away for my selfish being.
Suddenly, I realized how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten at all yesterday.
I rushed downstairs and into the kitchen. I took out a bowl, milk, and a box of cereal. I filled my bowl with cereal all the way to the rim, practically using half of what was once in the box. I poured the milk and everything was almost over flowing. I had to eat a few bites before I could carry it to the table.
Charlie was in the living room, from what I could hear, probably watching sports no doubt. And I had excellent hearing.
I sat down on the tiny little table with two mismatched chairs. I ate quickly, bearly even tasting the food. I was so hungry.
After breakfast I washed my dish and went upstairs.
Dammit. I forgot to do my homework. I looked around though it was obvious no one was watching.
I did my homework at vampire speed. I read three chapters of Wuthering Heights, a book we were studying and one of my favorites. I was done with everything within minutes.
I checked my clock. Shoot. 7:39.
I swung on my backpack and ran out the door saying, "School, gotta go, love you, bye!" But it probably sounded like, "Schoolgottagoloveyabye!" I was in a hurry.
I ran and ran trying to go at human speed, knowing I still wouldn't get there on time. I quickly looked around. The place was deserted. So I took off at my vampire speed. I got there within half a minute.
I stopped at a corner, then walked as I turned it. The school and students came into view. They still stared at me, though not quite as much.
I ignored the Cullens all standing next to a silver Volvo. They were gawking too. Except they had a different reson.
Smirking, I walked into the school down to my locker. I put away the stuff I didn't need. I started to walk off when three guys stopped in front me. Mike, Eric, and Tyler.
"Hey, Bella," Mike said.
I fidgeted. "Hey, Mike."
"We were wondering if you wanted to go to La Push with us this weekend," Tyler continued.
Three boys. Just me. All at La Push?! That's begging for disaster.
"Just us?!" I tried to hide the fear in my voice. They didn't seem to notice it.
"Well, no," Eric said, "There's going to be a lot of other people there, boys and girls. Unless... you want it to be just us." He gave me a cocky grin.
"Oh no! I mean, I'm fine with other people," I rambled.
Their faces fell. There was an awkward silence and I looked at my feet.
"So, are you going?" Mike finally asked.
"I guess," I said. Maybe Jessica would be there. It could be fun.
They all grinned.
"Cool," Tyler said. "We'll pick you up around 10:00 a.m. Saturday morning."
"Bye Bella!" They all said at once, then walked away. God, it was like they rehearsed what they were going to say.
I sighed. I leaned back and banged the back of my head on my locker while closing my eyes. They just couldn't take a hint.
I heard a low chuckle. I opened my eyes to glare at whoever chuckled at me. I saw a retreating figure with bronze hair walking away. Stupid vampire. Probably had nothing better to do then watch me in pain. He probably even enjoyed it.
My classes went on without event. I talked to Jessica in Spanish and Trig, or more like she talked to me and I listend. DAng, that girl could talk all day if she could.
At lunch I went and got a slice of pizze and a lemonade. I saw Jessica and the people I sat with yesterday were sitting with the populars. Oh joy. Well, I guess I wasn't going to sit with them today. I could hear Mike, Tyler, and Eric coming down to lunch. No doubt they would get me to sit with them.
I panicked. I looked around. The only other open table was with the vampires.
Really? Is someone trying top torture me?
I contemplated. Boys, Vamps. Vamps, Boys.
I heard the guys walk into the room, and I rushed towards the vampire table next to the one called Alice. Well, I was going to have to face them anyway, so why not now? Except now it was in front of the whole school. Great.
The Cullens all stared in bewilderment at me. It's not like I was going to murder them. But they might murder me.
The entire room got silent, and every gawked at us. I could already hear the gossip. They really needed to get over themselves. The silent watchers began to mumble between each other still staring at us.
"Hey vampires," I said calmly in a voice so low to them that only they could hear it.
It was weird. Usually I was shy around everyone. But vampires always seemed to make me speak up. But when I did, it was always rude. They brought out a new side to me. I wouldn't let them push me around. I didn't want them to control me. Either way, they wouldn't have a shy Bella.
They stared at me mouths open with anger, fright, and shock. They didn't speak.
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know what you are. Don't worry, it's not like I'm gonna tell anyone. They wouldn't believe me anyway." Yes, a new side indeed.
They still said nothing. I took a bite of my pizza and ate it.
"Can you guys even talk?" I asked with sarcasam.
There was a low growl from Jasper.
"I'll take that as a yes," I said, smiling. I ate more pizza.
"So this is what's going to happen," I told them, "I need to talk to you guys alone. So after lunch meet me by your car, mkay?"
They glared at me, clearly not liking my attitude. I grinned.
All of a sudden the all looked up behind me. I turned around.
It was Mike.
"Hey, Bella," he said nervous.
I smiled. This should be good.
"Hey, Mike," I said cheerfully.
"Um, are you guys.. fighting? Because you could come sit with me if you want." He said not looking at the Cullens. I heard Rosalie scoff. I turned around to see all the vampires glaring at Mike. I could have burst out laughing.
"That's okay Mike, were all peachy-keen," I said cheerfully.
Mike mumbled something and walked away, embarrassed. I couldn't help but grin.
I turned around to see the vampires grin to. I frowned right away. I would not smile with them.
"So, are you coming, or what?" I said, almost glaring.
They looked at each other. They finally nodded in agreement.
"Good," I said.
It was odd. They didn't say one word to me. I was expecing a blown out fight. I would have enjoyed it too.
I had become so violent and bitterafter the last few years. I was struggling to hold on to the sweet, good, happy, side of me. I was trying to hold on to the light. The light fading away. It seemed to get harder and harder everyday.
I shrugged and ate my food. Everyone, including the vampires, was still staring at me. I wanted to tell them all that gawking was rude. Instead, I ignored everyone like the good girl I was trying to be, and ate my food.
What I didn't know, was this good girl wasn't going to be good for long.
After I finished my lunch I said to the Cullens quietly but firmly, "Meet you there."
I threw my lunch away and started walking down the halls, not waiting for there response, knowing I wouldn't get one. I got my backpack in my locker, and then went to their car.
Everyone was staring and whispering at me, pointing. These people had no manners. Oh, wait. They were teenagers. They don't know they meaning of the freaking word.
I leaned on their Volvo and waited for them. I was pretty impatient. I wanted to get this over with.
When they finally walked over they were stiff, shoulder to shoulder. They didn't like this at all. Well it sucked for them. It's not like I wanted to do this either. It's just completely nessasary.
I tried not to stare at Edward as he walked towards me. Just thinking about him made my heart beat faster. What was wrong with me?
When they reached my car, the blonde Rosalie sneered, "What do you want?"
I glared at her. I would have loved nothing but to just hit her, but then they might not cooporate with me.
"Follow me in your car," I told her glaring.
"Follow you in what? Are you gonna run or something?" Emmett said as if I were crazy.
"No, idiot by a space ship, yes I'm going to run!" I sneered.
They glared at me.
"Do you have any consept of how fast a car can go?" Edward said. That was the first time I had heard him speak. I wanted to melt like butter in his musical, velvet voice. I was probably blushing big time like I always do when I'm embarrassed.
No! Stop it! You only like him because he's a vampire. A very gorgeous vampire.
"Do you have any consept about how fast I can run?" I challenged.
They sneered, but got in their car. As they pulled out, I started to run as fast as I could. No one was out at this time of day. Everyone was either working or out of town, so I wouldn't be seen.
Okay, so maybe I was showing off a little. But I was angry at them. They thought they were so cool. When all they were just good looking monsters. I wanted to show them that they aren't he only ones with talent.
They took off after me, barely keeping up. I smiled. I stopped at the edge of the woods.
They got out of the car and looked at me.
"We could have ran to," Emmett said, not liking that he missed out.
"Yes, but then I would have had to wait up for you." I informed in.
He snorted.
"We have to go on foot from here though," I told them.
"With you? Great," Jasper said sarcastically.
I turned around to glare at him.
"Don't test me," I warned him. He snorted but didn't say anything.
After that I took off. I had no idea where I was going. Somewhere away from people. In case it got... physical. I stopped at a small clearing and turned around. They were right behind me and stopped to.
I looked at them and said, "Okay. I have a lot to say, and all of you will shut up and listen." I said listening for any objections. Nothing but maddening glares so I continued. "I know what you are. And I know what you do. And I'm putting an end to it. I've found the vampires can live on animal blood just as well as human blood. So here's your choices. You have human blood from now on, or you leave. I'm also not gonna take any of your crap, so don't just ignore what I said. Got it?"
Instead of answering my question they stared at me in shock. Finally, Alice said, "How do you know what we are?"
"That's classified," I said trying not to laugh at my words. But I couldn't help but grin.
They didn't find my humor funny.
"What are you?" Edward asked. "You have a heart beat. Your alive. But you have our hearing and our speed."
I thought for a second. Most, pretty much all, didn't know about half vampires yet. There were only a couple in the world. And besides, Why should they know what I am? It's none of there buisness.
I finally said, "Well, what do I look like? I am the most amazing freaking thing you've ever seen."
They frowned, clearly not liking this game I was playing. At least I was getting a kick out of it.
Emmett, clearly liking a good fight, said to the others, "Should we force it out of her?" Like I wasn't even there. God he was an idiot.
I scoffed. "Like you could take me."
"Is that a challenge?" He asked, grinning.
"Nah, I got to stay out of trouble. I already have enough problems with the Volturi, and killing you won't help." Dammit! I let that slip out.
"You know the Volturi?" Jasper asked, trying to dig for more information.
"So what? Back to topic. You know your options. Don't kill
people, or leave."
I turned to leave when one of them
caught my wrist.
I turned around glaring. It was Edward. His face was so close to mine and I could smell him. I couldn't breath. Oh sweet God.
Edward was now the one glaring. "Listen," he said, "I don't know what you are, or who you think you are. But no one talks to my family like that. For your information, we don't kill people. We already drink blood from animals. So you can forget about what you said. So you can quit your little tough act and leave."
I was stumped for a second. They drank animal blood? Was that why their eyes were golden? No, they said that so I wold get off their backs. But they Better start. I was going to watch them.
Finally, I said, "So your coven is now a family? And you all love each other? Aw! Super. And if you want me to leave, maybe you should let go of my wrist first genius."
Edward threw my wrist down and said, "Well, at least we're actually loved."
I flinched. That hit my nerve. I felt pain all over. One person came to my mind. Leon. I thought his name over and over again. I felt daggers go straight in my cold, dark, heart.
That was it. Hes was dead. He would pay. I pounced on him. He put up quite a struggle, and he was no inexperienced fighter, but I finally pinned him down by his shoulders, and my legs were on either side of him. His face was inches from mine, his eyes staring at me in shock. I would have loved to keep him here forever. Just to lean closer and closer into him. To smell his scent and kiss him.
But the same time that I wanted him, I hated him. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel the pain. The same I had. The pain of the darkness.
Then his whole family surrounded us, in complete attack mode. Only Alice stood there normal.
"Get off him!" Rosalie screeched, bringing me back to the real world. Fat chance. I thought about taking them all out. I might not win, but at least I would take as many of them as I could.
"Bella," Alice said in a strained voice, "I know your angry, but he didn't mean what he said! Please don't hurt him!"
I turned around and looked at Alices helpless face. It was like she was reading my mind. How did she know? She couldn't get in my mind. It was my power for God's sake. But when I heard those words I didn't want to hurt them anymore. But I still wanted Edward to feel the pain.
I turned back to Edward and said in my most threatining voice, "I could kill you right now for saying what you did. You don't know me, and have no idea what your talking about. Your just a lonely, bitter, obnoxious vampire!" I hissed the words and got off him.
I was about to walk off when Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett tried to attack me.
"No!" Alice screamed. It was to late.
Rosalie reached me first and I threw her with as much force as I could muster and she hit a tree. She groaned and sat there. Emmett tried to kill me for that except I pinned him down. Jasper came behind me, arms around my neck, and said, "If you don't get off him right now, I will kill you!"
"You were the ones who attacked me! If you touch me, I kill him!" I threatend.
"Guys, stop! She's serious!" Alice called. I looked over.
Alice was standing there helpless holding Edward back. He was angry and confused.
How could that tiny little thing hold back something big as Edward?
They all looked furious but believed her for some reason. They all backed away. Good choice.
"Now, if you leave me alone, I will get off Emmett," I reasoned.
They all nodded. I backed away from Emmett. He glared at me. He had a girl pin him down.
I laughed. They glared. Strangely, I had gotten used to it.
I grinned like a fool.
"So, I'll leave you guys alone, and you leave me alone. You guys can be really annoying to me. Deal?" I said.
Alice nodded happily while the others looked strained. God, that Alice was crazy.
"Fine," Edward said for all of them.
"Fine!" I retorted. Yes, he was. He was very, very fine.
He glared. Everyone glared. Except for Alice. She was smiling. Yes, Alice was crazy.
I walked off leaving them glaring at me. I knew it would get into a fight. But not one like that.
I walked in a daze. Not knowing that I was now fallen on the ground. I had walked the opposite direction in which I came.
I felt different. And I knew what had happened. I had lost the light. No reason to fight it now. It was over. I was a new person. The light had kept me, me. And now the light was lost, along with myself.
Now, I felt darkness take over every inch of my body. I felt cold for the first time in my life. My whole body felt frozen, starting at my heart. The cold didn't make me numb, it just let me feel its cruel pain. No more love. No more life. I was a changed person. A dark one. I didn't even care. There was no reason to. Caring lead to loving, which lead to heart break. I realized the truth of that now.
Why had I changed so suddenly?
It was because of Edward. He had reminded me of Leon. Reminded me of the the endless nights of sobbing. The dreams were bad. But when I heard the words of me not being loved actually aloud, I knew it was true. They could fall in love, and be loved. I couldn't. Leon was my proof of that. I hated Edward with every bone in my body. A hatred I had never known. I wanted him to pay. Yes, I would make him pay.
I lost the light.
I lost myself.
* I know, very evil chapter. Bella thinks she has lost herself. But don't worry, this isn't the end. The Cullens maybe are there to help her recover!
This chapter was a bit choppy and definately wasn't one of my best, but I wanted you to really feel Bella and her charater. Oh and also, the * was because you'll see one in the very beginning, and this is explaining that part. I know, real people cuss a lot. But the Bella in Twilight doesn't. And I really want to make Bella the same and really define her character.
I cant believe I got 10 reviews on my last chapter! I love you all so much! I would love another ten from you guys if you feel I deserve it! But if I don't, I completely understand!
I have better chapters to come so read if you would like!
LOVE YOU ALL!
oxoxox- Lauren
