A/N: i really didnt expect to hav this chapter out so soon. i was actually thinking i might just wait until i finished the story to post another chapter but...that's take too long and i dont want to be one of those people who doesnt update for months at a time. anyway plot is evolving! yay! i hope everyone's sticking with me! sorry the chapters arent all that long - like i said, they feel long when you're typing them.
anyway, my chapters are getting better. my girl roxas kicks most male roxas's asses. yeah. i said it. i've read plenty of fanfics where roxa is basically a girl. at least mine has balls. owned.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. story is mine. characters and references to Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy and Disney are not mine. duh.
Read on...
...
Roxas awoke with a smile on her face.
The moment she opened her eyes Roxas realized why. She glanced up at Axel who was still sleeping soundly. For awhile, Roxas chose to just lie on Axel's chest and watch him sleep – like she used to do. And in those few minutes, she really couldn't tell the difference between then and now, except that this time, she could feel Axel's heart beating gently against the palm of her hand.
Roxas glanced around the room to see everyone still asleep. She slid almost hesitantly off of Axel, taking one last look at him sleeping before heading towards the kitchen. Desperately needing something to do, she pulled the fridge open and stared blindly into it. She wasn't hungry, or thirsty. Hell she wasn't sure what she felt at the moment.
Slamming the fridge door closed, and praying the sound didn't wake any of the others, she growled quietly in her throat. her confusion and fatigue morphing into anger. What the FUCK was Axel's deal? He says he doesn't love her, and then he gets all cuddly. How is that fair? What's Roxas supposed to think?
Roxas huffed. She had half a mind to spin around, march back in that living room and demand an explanation. Or at least beat the living hell out of him.
Or both. Yeah…probably both.
But before she could put this plan into action, another presence entered the kitchen.
The footsteps in the doorway and Roxas could hear him clear his throat. "Hey." His voice sounded a little cautious.
Roxas looked up and she could almost feel the weight being lifted from her shoulders. "Hey."
Demyx walked over to Roxas and pulled her into a hug. "Yesterday was pretty hard on you, huh?"
Roxas laughed at the understatement. "Yeah, am I that obvious?"
Demyx pulled back and smiled. "Well, you do kinda look like shit."
Roxas tried to look offended, but failed. "Dem! You're not supposed to say that kinda thing to a girl!" Though she knew Demyx had to have a point. It was obviously early, and considering how late she went to bed, coupled with the stress and complete lack of sleep she'd gotten all week, Roxas had to be looking pretty rugged. Not to mention she'd just spent the night sleeping on a couch.
"Sorry. My bad." Demyx chuckled. He walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, indicating she should do the same. "Tell me about it."
Roxas fell heavily into the chair beside Demyx and rubbed her eyes. "I asked him if he still loved me." Roxas tried to ignore how pathetic she sounded; it was too early in the morning to bother salvaging her pride. Especially in front of Demyx. God knows he'd seen her at lower moments. "He said he didn't know."
Demyx tilted his head to the side and looked at Roxas. "He didn't say 'no'." He pointed out.
She scoffed. "Yeah but he didn't say yes either." She swallowed; it was always so easy to open up to Demyx. "I just…it's just like it was back then you know. Everything…feels the same, but I don't know if it's just me or what. He acts the same, but tells me he's not sure he feels the same." She groaned and buried her face in her hands. "It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?"
Demyx laughed. "I'm sure that's not it, Roxas."
"Dammit, Demyx, of course it is. It's that or he never loved me in the first place."
"Rox –"
"Look," Roxas leaned back, dropping her hands from her face and looking at her best friend. "Dem, face it, the only difference this time is one: I'm a girl. And two: we have hearts."
Demyx sighed and placed his hand over Roxas's. "Roxas, I know this is hard for you. But, Axel…he's just jumped into all this and he's having trouble dealing with it. You may not be a man anymore, but he is. Men have a natural fear of commitment. And, let's face it, he's always been a bit of an idiot."
Roxas grunted in agreement.
"And don't forget, Zex and me had a hard time in the beginning too."
Roxas chuckled half-heartedly at the hidden innuendo, but chose not to mention it. "Yeah, but not everyone gets a happy ending."
"You will, Rox." He pulled her in and hugged her. "You will…"
Roxas sighed. Even though she was less than convinced, Demyx still had the uncanny ability to brighten her mood with little to no effort. Honestly, he was probably responsible for helping her get this far in her life without killing someone. Memories of a tragic past 'life' can be quite a burden sometimes.
"So," Demyx pulled back with a huge smile on his face, and Roxas couldn't help but return it, even if just a little. "What'd you guys talk about yesterday?"
…
Axel awoke feeling empty.
It didn't take him long to realize what the problem was. The comfortable weight on his chest that had been Roxas was missing. He couldn't help but sigh in disappointment.
Sitting up, Axel noted that everyone else seemed to pretty much be in the same position as they'd been in the night before. Zack and Cloud were curled up on an armchair, Yuffie and Lexeaus on the loveseat, Zexion on the other armchair, and Demyx…was missing.
Deciding to investigate this sudden lack-of-Demyx (while simultaneously searching for a certain other blond), Axel got up off the couch and stretched. He was surprised to find there was no discomfort in his muscles from sleeping on the couch.
Wandering towards the kitchen, Axel found that both his searches had come to an abrupt conclusion. Demyx and Roxas were sitting at the kitchen table, apparently in the middle of a serious discussion. Their voices were too low to discern from the distance Axel was at, not that it mattered, because they stopped talking the moment he entered.
And insert awkward silence here…
"Uh," Axel scratched the back of his head. "Good Morning?"
Demyx perked up, flashing Axel a warm smile. "Morning, Axel!" He kept his voice low enough not to disturb the others who were still sleeping. "You're up early."
"Uh, yeah." Axel didn't bother mentioning that the only reason he was up this early was because he was missing a certain blond, blue-eyed blanket.
Said blanket stood up at this moment and looked at Axel, flashing a smile that looked a little strained. "Morning, Ax." She then turned to Demyx. "Hey, Dem, mind if I use your shower?"
Demyx shook his head. "Not at all. Towels are under the sink." And with that, Roxas left. Demyx waited until they heard the bathroom door close before rounding on the redhead. "So…Axel," it might've just been Axel's imagination, but Demyx's voice seemed a little more tense than usual. Almost, angry…almost. If nothing else, Axel could tell he probably wouldn't enjoy this conversation.
"Y-yeah?"
Demyx smiled, though this one was defiantly a little stiff. Axel's suspicions were confirmed when Demyx kindly asked: "what's up your ass?"
It took a few moments for Axel to process Demyx's words. "My-my ass?"
Demyx sighed, standing up and walking over to the redhead, leaning his hip against the counter and staring at Axel with a rare look of seriousness. "Saying you 'don't know if you love her'. Axel, Christ!" He threw his arms up and shot Axel a very irritated look. "I was there, you know, in the Organization. I saw you two together. If that isn't the epitome of love, then, shit Ax, I dunno what is."
"Demyx…"
"Look, Axel, I get it, okay? You grew up away from all of us, you don't know what's changed, or how to deal with the changes, I get it, alright? But don't be stupid. Please." Demyx gave him a hard look. "I've known Roxas for a long time. And she's had to deal with a lot of emotional shit over you. I'm not saying that's your fault," he said quickly before Axel could interrupt, "but I am asking you not to make this harder than it is. If you don't love her – which I doubt – but if you don't, then, well, she'll deal with it. But don't fuck with her Axel." Axel's eyes widened at Demyx's words. He could barely quell his jealousy at the fact that Demyx and Roxas were clearly pretty close, if he was so determined to go around defending her like this.
He missed the days when Roxas was his best friend.
"Besides, she feels…really guilty about it all." Demyx's eyes turned to pleading. "Living with what she did…wasn't easy for her."
Axel was taken aback. "Guilty?"
Demyx only hummed a confirmation, choosing not to say anything else.
When Demyx didn't say anything Axel decided to bring up a fact that had been bothering him. "You two…" Axel wasn't sure if he should mention it. It was childish anyway. "You two are pretty close..."
Demyx rolled his eyes and grabbed Axel by the shoulders, shaking him a little but this time smiling genuinely. It was a small smile, but it was honest. "Axel, you stupid bastard, I could never take your place, ok?" It was funny how Demyx always seemed to know what was wrong, and what to say to make it better. "Roxas is my best friend, and I love her like family, but…she needs you, not me. I just kept her sane 'til you showed up…more or less."
The redhead smiled in spite of himself. "Aw, Demyx." He laughed. "I missed you guys." He leaned forward and hugged the former Number IX. "Thanks."
Demyx laughed brightly and returned the embrace sincerely.
They didn't realize someone else had entered the kitchen until a voice spoke up a few feet from where they stood.
"Hm, should I be jealous?"
Demyx squealed, a little loudly for Axel's taste, considering the blond's head was right by his ear. "Zexy!" He removed himself from Axel and turned to pull the slate-haired teen into a bone crushing hug. "Don't be ridiculous, Zex! I save my best hugs for you!"
Axel was surprised when he heard Zexion chuckle – he'd never heard Zexion laugh before. Hell, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen the guy actually smile before.
"Morning." Zexion returned the hug. After a moment he pulled back and glanced around the kitchen before looking over at Axel. "Where's Roxas?"
"She's in the shower." Demyx answered. He suddenly perked up, looking to Axel. "hey why don't you go check on her? She really should be out by now."
Axel was sure he'd just lost all the color in his face. Was this Demyx's way of being subtle? "You want me to what?"
Demyx rolled his eyes and started pushing the redhead in the direction of the stairs. "Just knock on the door, you pervert."
Axel scratched the back of his neck and approached the bathroom door cautiously. This was a really awkward position Demyx had put him in. Sure, when they were all in the Organization together, Axel had no reservations about accosting Roxas in the shower – and various other places – but now, it seemed…a little wrong. Maybe it was the heart thing, maybe it was the gender thing, or maybe – and more likely than not – it was the fact that Roxas's brother, his fiancé and Demyx were all downstairs and no doubt fully prepared to tear Axel a new one if he made a wrong move.
For this reason, Axel knocked hesitantly. "Uh, hey, Rox?" He kept his voice – and his knocking – low, not wanting to wake the others. "Roxas? You in there?" He placed his ear to the door but couldn't hear anything. The shower obviously wasn't running, and surely Roxas would've answered if she was inside…right?
Taking a deep breath and throwing caution to the wind, Axel pushed open the door and stepped inside. "Roxas?"
And then he froze.
For a moment, he felt nothing. As if his whole body had completely shut down. But that only lasted an instant before all that emotion came rushing back and he felt fit to burst. Between the shock, excitement, and over all arousal he underwent at that moment, Axel was surprised he didn't combust – or at least collapse into some kind of violent seizure.
For there stood Roxas, in all her naked glory, a towel hanging from her hand and feebly covering about half of her still wet torso. If Axel had needed any proof of Roxas's femininity before, well, he certainly had it. And if Axel had any doubts about him being just as attracted to a female Roxas as the male version…his doubts had just been beaten, burned, and overall severely violated right in front of him. Judging by the way Roxas had her head tilted lightly to the side, holding the towel close to her neckline, Axel surmised she must have been drying her hair – which was possibly why she didn't hear him knocking.
Even if Roxas and everyone else in the fucking house attacked him at this moment…shit. It was worth it.
"Uh," Axel said after an extended moment – in which he realized he had been blatantly staring. Roxas hadn't moved or spoken and it had Axel…a bit terrified. Like the calm before the
storm. "I...knocked…and…" Axel took one more sweeping view of Roxas, intent on the fact that it wouldn't be his last. "You look fantastic, Roxie."
This last comment seemed to pull Roxas from her stupor. She immediately covered up with the towel, and Axel got to see a full bodied blush, before his face became reacquainted with Roxas's fist.
Ah, just like old times…
…
Axel was pretty sure he blacked out a little, because, when he came to, he was back on the couch. Only this time, instead of Roxas lying on top of him, there was an icepack on his face.
He'd've defiantly preferred to have Roxas on his face.
Sitting up he noticed that everyone seemed to have awakened, and they were all crowded around the couch – save for Lexeaus and Yuffie. Zack was looking rather amused, and even Cloud had a glint of humor in his gaze, which was a relief because those were the two he was most concerned would totally own his ass for ogling Roxas. Demyx was sitting on the edge of the couch with a triumphant grin and Zexion was off to the side reading –surprise, surprise – and looking completely uninterested in the proceedings. Roxas herself was sitting at the end of the couch, blushing terribly, and determinedly not looking at him.
Demyx spoke up first. "Jeez, Axel, I told you just to knock." He shook his head, clearly having fun with this. "I suppose I should've known better."
"It was an accident, I swear." Axel winced. Moving his jaw was a painful task. "Damn, Rox. You hit like a dude."
Roxas's head whipped around and her blush intensified to the point where she looked like an over-ripened strawberry. "Accident? Shit, Ax, for an 'accident' you sure took a good long look. Jackass."
Axel laughed and leaned over towards Roxas, who instinctively backed away. "Really? You never seemed to mind that before."
"Careful." This time, it was Cloud that spoke. "That's my favorite little sister you're talking about, Red."
Axel stiffened, holding his hands up in mock surrender and sliding away from Roxas, but not before winking seductively and whispering, "you know you liked it."
Roxas punched his shoulder this time, and later Demyx would assure Axel that it had not been dislocated.
…
Zack and Cloud left shortly after breakfast – claiming they had important 'wedding related business' to take care of. Lexeaus and Yuffie stayed a bit longer, looking oddly uncomfortable. Axel was quickly reminded of their odd behavior at the bar the night before. Though whenever Axel had tried to confront Lexeaus about it, he effectively changed the subject, or – more likely – ignored Axel completely.
It wasn't until they were about to leave – Yuffie apparently had to get back to work – that they pulled Roxas aside by the front door.
Axel just so happened to be more or less stalking Roxas – needless to say, he didn't let her out of his sight. Call it habit. Or obsession. Either way he was there to see the three conversing quietly as he watched them from a distance. Unfortunately for him, years of loud music and poor diet – not to mention evolutionary issues – prevented him from having the ability to hear hushed whispers across distances of over twenty feet.
Roxas's back was to him, and though he couldn't see her face, he noticed how her body tensed as they talked. As the conversation went on, Axel became more and more concerned. He was just about to waltz over there and demand to know what the fuck was going on when a hand landed on his shoulder. He turned and was not surprised to see Demyx standing next to him, watching Roxas as well.
"What do you think they're talking about?" Axel asked. Demyx was naturally more informed about Roxas's life, so perhaps he knew what might be going on?
Demyx shook his head hesitantly, but his brow was furrowed in thought. "I'm…not sure. But if it's Yuffie…"
Axel raised a brow. "What?"
Demyx shook his head again, ignoring Axel's question and saying, almost to himself: "she looks upset."
Before Axel could respond Demyx nodded over to the trio. Axel looked up just in time to see Lexeaus and Yuffie hug Roxas briefly before walking out the door, sending a backward wave to Roxas, who didn't move.
Axel was the first at Roxas's side. The blond was staring at the door, a shell-shocked look on her face. There was a hint of…fear in her gaze. And it was that sight that had Axel gripping Roxas by the shoulders and shaking her gently. "Rox? Roxas what's wrong? What happened?"
Demyx walked forward to stand next to Axel. "Roxas?"
Roxas finally jerked from her daze and looked up at them. She licked her lips a few times before her gaze settled on Demyx. Axel ignored his jealousy and frustration for the time being and instead waited patiently for Roxas to speak.
And when she did, a whole wave of panic seized him at once.
"It's," her voice sounded scratchy and dry, "it's DiZ. He…he escaped."
...
A/N: lack of sleep has made me tired. so i'm just gonna say: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!
