New chapter posted from Key West today. Next updates as soon as I can get to another computer.
Please let me know what you think of the story.
One day, it might have been five or six weeks since the accident, Mr. Banner came into biology with a blood testing kit.
"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type. Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission - I have slips at my desk."
As he was demonstrating with Mike Newton's help how the test was done, I noticed Bella paling next to me. I hadn't thought it to be possible, as she was so pale to begin with, but now her face had a distinctly pasty color. Sweat broke out on her forehead and she lowered her head onto the top of the desk.
I felt my heart stop. What was wrong with her?
"Bella, are you all right?" Banner asked sounding alarmed. It was nothing to the alarm I felt.
"I already know my blood type, Mr. Banner," she said with a weak voice. She didn't move, her breath coming laborious.
I strained to reach out to her, to check her for fever or something, but stopped myself just at the last possible moment.
"Are you feeling faint?" Banner asked, as if this wasn't obvious.
"Yes, sir," she muttered almost imperceptibly.
This was it. Bella was obviously sick and I couldn't just sit next to her as if nothing was going on. All the effort I had put into the last couple of week to stay away from her seemed suddenly meaningless. The walls I had built up around myself crumbled into dust
Bella was in pain and that was something I simply couldn't allow. I had to help her and damn the consequences. I knew I had lost the battle. As if I ever had had any real chance.
"I'll take her to the nurse," I offered, already placing an arm around her waist and wrapping her arm over my shoulder. "I'm already giving blood at the hospital, so I know my blood type, Sir," I told Banner.
"Thank you, Edward." Banner sounded relieved.
"Can you walk?" I asked Bella gently. I wouldn't mind carrying her, but I knew she was proud and she would be very much embarrassed by it.
She cast me a look of total surprise and shock, as if only now she had realized it was me who was supporting her.
"Are you talking to me again?"
"I'm asking you a question, that's not talking. So what is it? Can you walk?" I asked her again.
"Yes," she whispered, her eyes still on my face as if she was trying to find out what was going on in my head. If she only knew.
We got up and I guided her slowly through the room and towards the exit. She could walk, but only barely.
We made it around the edge of the cafeteria when I sensed her weight on me increasing. It felt like she'd pass out any moment.
Without a second thought I scooped her up into my arms and carried her the rest of the way. She wasn't heavy, not at all. The weight of her body in my arms felt wonderful. It felt … right.
"Put me down!" she protested weakly, her small fist pounding against my chest ineffectively. I ignored her weak attempts. I wanted her in the hand of the nurse as quickly as possible.
"I don't think so," I said, feeling the muscles on my face shifting in an unfamiliar pattern. Then I realized I was smiling. I hadn't smiled for a long time.
She looked at me as if I had lost my mind.
Which I had.
And I felt more happy for it than I had in the last weeks.
I knew my family would be disappointed in me. I had promised I'd stay away from Bella in order to protect her life, but in doing so I had destroyed my own. Staying away from her had simply become an impossibility. I was too weak to do it any longer. I swore to myself I would find a way to protect her still. I would do anything to ensure that. Anything but staying away from her any longer.
I would find a way to keep her safe.
I had to.
I opened the door to the office and stepped inside, Bella still secure in my arms.
"Oh my," Ms. Cope the receptionist gaped as she jumped up from behind her desk.
"She fainted in Biology," I explained, making my way past the front counter and towards the nurse's door. The school nurse looked up from a book she was reading, looking startled.
I placed Bella on a paper covered cot, then stepped back to give the nurse room to check her over. The moment I let go of her, I felt an instant loss and I had to force myself not to get close to her again.
"She's just a little faint," I explained to the nurse, hoping I was sounding calm. "We've been blood typing in Biology."
"There's always one," she nodded knowingly. "Just let her lie down for a minute and it will pass. I'll get you some ice for your head. That will help."
She left the room, leaving us alone for the moment.
Bella was glowering at me, but I was too happy right now to be annoyed by it. Now that I had accepted that staying away from her was impossible, just being with her made me happy.
"Why are you grinning like that?" she asked irritated.
"I'm just in a good mood," I said. It was the truth after all.
"So you are talking to me again?"
I nodded. "I'm sorry about that. I really am, but I had my reasons."
"What reasons?"
I sighed. "Maybe one day I can tell you."
"You're not making any sense," she complained.
"I know." What else could I tell her? It was the truth after all.
The nurse came back with an ice pack, telling Bella to place it on her forehead.
I looked at her and found that her color had improved by quite a bit. She was still pale, but nothing like the chalky white her skin had been a few minutes ago.
"You can now go back to class," the nurse informed me.
I had no intention to leave Bella alone again - now or ever. "Mr. Banner told me to stay with Bella until she's better."
It wasn't true, technically, but as there was nothing new that Banner could show me today, I saw nothing in that little white lie.
I could sense that the nurse was about to challenge my claim, but just then there was a knock at the door and Mike Newton stumbled in, propping up another boy from our class.
Bella jumped off her cot, suddenly looking very pale again. I was confused why she should suddenly be faint again when a moment ago she had been fine, but then I noticed the blood on the other boy's finger and realized what the problem had to be. She had a problem with blood. I had to grin at the irony.
Once outside the room she leaned against the wall of the office. I watched her closely for any sign she might pass out, but color was quickly returning to her face.
"You want to go outside into the fresh air?" I offered her.
She nodded and I began to guide her to the office door.
Mike came out of the nurse's station, a look of pure loathing directed at me. He quickly stepped up to us, his attention now focused on Bella, ignoring me.
"Are you all right?" he asked, obviously concerned.
I had to suppress a stab of jealousy.
"I'm fine." She sounded annoyed at the question. I remembered the time after the accident and how everybody had asked me that question every five minutes and I could very much sympathize with her.
"Are you still on for the weekend? For the beach?" he then asked.
My head shot up, staring at Newton. I hadn't realized that Bella had been invited to go to somewhere on the weekend. Where? When? With whom?
"I said, I'd come," she replied shortly.
Unperturbed, he grinned. "Okay. We're meeting at my dad's store then, at ten. I'm going to tell the others."
"I'll be there," she promised.
"I'll see you in Gym," he said, then - finally - he turned and went back to class.
"Gym," she said with a groan, placing her head in her hands. Obviously she wasn't too eager about going to Gym today. Not that I really blamed her. One thing I had heard early on was that Bella and sports didn't mix well, though I never had the pleasure to experience it first hand.
I had an idea.
"I can help you with that."
"What?" she looked up confused.
God, she was just so adorable when she looked like that. Pushing that thought quickly aside, as it didn't have a place here right now, I told her to sit down and look pale.
She seemed to have no problem following my instructions and I wondered for a moment if it would be better if I brought her back to the nurse's station after all. But then she cast me a glance from behind her fingers and I knew that she was only playacting. Or at least for the most part.
"Ms. Cope," I addressed the receptionist, who had returned to her desk and was now typing something into her computer.
Ms. Cope looked up and I smiled at her. "Bella has Gym next and I don't think she's up to it. I actually think I should take her home. Do you think you could excuse us from class?"
She looked over to Bella, who now leaned her head against the wall, looking miserable. She was a better actor than I had given her credit for. It least I hope she was only acting.
"Of course, dear," Ms. Cope said. "I'll take care of it. You get better soon, Bella," she finally called across the room.
"Thank you," I said and returned to Bella's side.
I helped her up, acting as if she really needed my help just to walk. Truthfully, I just was looking for an excuse to touch her, to be near her.
Outside, she quickly drew away from me, and with regret I let her go.
"What's the matter with you, Edward?" She glared as me.
"What do you mean?" I asked, but I had a feeling I knew what this was about.
"I don't get you," she complained. "First you save my life, then you ignore me for five weeks, and now, all of the sudden, you're talking to me again as if nothing ever happened. I'm going to get whiplash if this goes on."
I sighed. I had to give her some explanation. Only what?
"I'm tired of staying away from you." There, nothing but the truth. Though 'tired' was only a fraction of what I was feeling. It was impossible for me now to leave her alone. I just couldn't.
It was a simple as that.
"Then why did you stay away from me to begin with?"
"Because it's safer for you," I blurted out before I could stop myself.
"What?" She stared at me with large eyes. "You're not making sense. Are you a serial killer or do you have a deadly, contagious disease?"
"No, of course not, don't be ridiculous. I only have your best interest in mind."
"Then why? Why? Explain it to me," she pleaded, and for a moment I almost caved.
"I can't," I said, defeated. "I wish I could, but I can't. I swear to you."
She took a lungful of air, visibly making an effort to calm down. She bit her lower lip, looking downwards for a couple of seconds. I held my breath.
When she looked up again, she seemed to be calmer. "All right," she said. "I'll let it be for now. But don't you think I'm giving up on this. I want to know what's up with you and I will find it out eventually."
I considered it a fair warning.
I smiled, holding out my hand. "Friends?" I asked softly.
She looked at my hand, then at my face. Finally, she nodded and took the proffered appendage.
"Friends."
Together we walked towards the parking lot, though in my case I felt like I was floating.
"So, you're having plans for the weekend?" I asked as if I only tried to make idle conversation. But in truth I needed to know.
"Yeah," she confirmed. "A couple of kids from our year are going down to La Push on Saturday. You want to come too?" She sounded almost hopeful. As if she really wanted me to come.
La Push. Damn. Technically, I wasn't allowed there. Well, not me specifically. It was my family that was forbidden to enter the reservation, thanks to an ancient treaty that Carlisle had hashed out with the tribal elders some seventy years ago.
I almost said I'd come nevertheless, but then I remembered that I had to work at the hospital on Saturday. I took my duty seriously and they relied on me showing up.
"I'm sorry," I said, meaning it. "I won't have time. I'm volunteering at the hospital this Saturday."
"Wow," she replied. I thought I sensed a little bit disappointment as well. "This must be tough."
"No, it's actually quite interesting," I warmed up to the topic. "I hope to be a doctor one day."
"Bummer about Saturday still."
She actually sounded disappointed and it warmed my heart. For a second I allowed myself to imagine us walking along the beach, holding each others hands. The waves were lapping against our feet and I caught Bella as she was jumping back from the water edge.
I was so immersed in my little fantasy I hadn't noticed we had reached the parking lot.
Bella turned left to head for her truck, but I reached for her arm and held her back.
"We're taking my car," I informed her and began to pull her towards the other end of the lot where the Volvo was parked.
"I'm perfectly capable of driving home by myself," she protested, her voice beginning to sound angry. She tried to pull away from me, but I held fast.
As if I would leave her out of my sight now. I knew I put her in danger just by being with her, but as it was now clear to me that I couldn't leave her alone, I would do my damnest to protect her as well as I could.
"You heard what I told Ms. Cope," I reminded her. "I'm going to drive you home."
"But that was only so I could get out of Gym," she now said.
"Yeah, and if anybody found out you drove yourself, then they will know you just faked it."
"What about my truck? How do I get it home?"
"I'll ask one of my brothers to bring it over," I said simply.
I was in deep enough shit as it was, just adding this to the pile wouldn't make any difference. Though the thought of either Emmett or Jasper in that crawling piece of ancient engineering was somewhat amusing. I wondered if they might end up pushing the truck to Bella's place, just to satisfy their need for speed, for it would most certainly be faster.
"Besides, just half an hour ago you almost passed out. Do you really think I would let you drive on your own?"
We had reached the Volvo and I used the remote to unlock the doors. I hadn't let go of Bella, still, and now I used my free hand to open the passenger door for her.
"Get in."
Surprisingly she didn't protest any further and allowed me to close the door once she was inside. As I walked around the car to get to my side, I couldn't help but grin widely.
I started the car and one of my favorite pieces of music filled the car's interior: The Suite Bergamasque by Debussy. I didn't exactly know what it was about that piece, but it always managed to calm me. It was one of the recordings I had made last year and I was pretty proud on how it had turned out.
"Isn't that Claire the Lune?" she asked when the third movement started.
"You know it?" I asked surprised. I hadn't expected her to like classical music. But then, I knew so little about her still. It was something I wanted very much to change.
"My mom used to play a lot of classical music in our house. I don't recognize many pieces, but I always liked this one."
Another piece to the puzzle that was Bella. I wanted to ask her about her mom, or her family, or basically everything that had anything to do with her, but I held back. There would be time for that later. I hoped.
We reached her place in companionable silence. It was a good silence, one that had nothing of the strained non-communication that had been between us for the last few weeks.
I parked the car but remained seating. Happily I noticed that Bella also didn't make any move to leave the car. We just sat there, listened to the music, lost in our respective thoughts. Bella had closed her eyes and I allowed myself to watch her just breathe.
When the last movement ended, she heaved a deep sigh.
"That was beautiful," she sighed in a slow exhale.
"Thanks," I said.
He eyes shot open and she starred over at me. "Was that you playing?" she asked with awe.
I have no idea how she made the connection. For all she knew I could have commented on my music selection. After all it's not exactly common that somebody is listening to recordings of his own piano play while driving around in his car.
I felt myself blush, as I nodded.
"Wow." She still stared that me.
"It's nothing." I ducked my head. Receiving compliments always made me feel a little bit uncomfortable.
"That wasn't nothing," she protested. "I think that was … amazing."
I felt my ears start to burn.
Just so I had something to do, I pushed the button to eject the disk. I pulled the CD out and placed it in its case.
"Would you like to have a copy?" I asked, not daring to look at her. It was such a stupid move and I knew that she had to think I'm an idiot.
"I'd love to," she said, and only then I risked looking up. She smiled widely at me and it was one of the most beautiful sights I ever had the pleasure to see.
I was really proud of myself that my hands didn't shake when I handed the disk to her.
As much as I would have liked to sit together with her in my car until the end of time, I knew that it had to come to an end soon. I climbed out and quickly stepped around it to open her door before she could. Me walking her to the house entrance felt just right, so I did it. Patiently I waited for her to pull out her keys and unlock the door.
Before she stepped inside, she turned around one more time.
"I'll see you tomorrow then, at school," she said, making it sound like half a question.
"Tomorrow." I nodded.
I waited for her to move inside and only when she pulled the door shut, I turned and reluctantly started to walk back to the Volvo. I was only a few steps away from the house, when I heard the door opening again and I spun around.
"Bella?" I asked, suddenly feeling apprehensive. Was something wrong with her?
"I think you forgot something," she said with a smile, holding a key out to me.
"Huh?"
"How will your brother get into my truck without the key?" she pointed out to me.
Of course! She couldn't know that Emmett and Jasper, and for that matter Rosalie and Alice, wouldn't have had any problems with getting into her car and hot wiring it. Feeling like an idiot – not for the first time today – I returned to her and took the key from her hand.
"Thanks," I said.
"I have to thank you," she replied, smiling at me, "for driving me home, and also for the disk." She held the item in question up.
"No problem," I managed to say, before I forced myself to turn away once again and move back to my car.
It was time to get back to school, to my family and the fight that I knew awaited me there.
