If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

Monday 4th May 1998

The funerals of Arthur Weasley and Narcissa Malfoy took place on the same day. Draco was not permitted to attend either of them. He watched as the rest of the house left in solemn silence, wishing he could go with them. It didn't seem right that these people, who had neither known nor liked his mother, were to be the only people in attendance at her funeral. Before they left, Lupin stopped to speak to him. He nodded at him sympathetically, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you can't come to your mother's funeral, Draco, but you have to understand why."

"I doubt my father is going to turn up." Draco spat. "He murdered her, so he's hardly going to play the grieving widower, is he?"

"We can't let you come…I'm sorry." He gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, before going out the door.

He waited for them in the kitchen and realised that it was the second time in a week he had waited there. The time passed slowly, as he lazily followed the whorls and dints in the table with his delicate fingers. Draco hadn't even known they were home, until the kitchen door opened and Granger walked in with Lupin close behind. She sat at the table and focused her eyes on him steadily. It was clear she had been crying; her cheeks were flushed and her eyes red and puffy.

"Are you alright?" Malfoy asked quietly.

"As alright as one can be in the circumstances." She replied, sighing. "I've had an idea. I didn't think it was fair…it wasn't right that you weren't allowed to attend your mother's funeral. No Death Eaters arrived, and if they had we could have kept you safe." Her eyes flicked to Lupin, who let out a discomfited sigh.

"I agree with Miss Granger, and together we have devised a…plan to allow you to visit your mother's grave."

Draco sat in stunned silence for a moment. It was something he both wanted, but also was reluctant to do. He wanted to know where his mother would finally be resting; he wanted to see what it looked like to be free from the grasp of his father. Granger reached out and put a hand on his arm, smiling warmly.

"Remus and I will take you there tomorrow, but you can be alone when you get there…we'll go for a walk nearby or something. You can have as long as you like, too." Hermione smiled more widely. "Remus even agreed to take us to a coffee shop afterwards." Draco looked at Remus, who was also smiling at him.

"Thank you very much, sir. My gratitude…" Remus nodded understandingly, before leaving the room. When they were alone, Draco let out a fatigued sigh. She gently squeezed his arm again.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I suppose. Not that any of you lot care how I feel. In fact, you have hardly spoken to me on the matter." He slipped lower into his chair. Hermione made a scoff of disgust, folding her arms testily.

"You don't seem very grateful for this opportunity." She snapped. "You seem even more miserable, if I may say so."

"I would rather you didn't say a thing." He retorted, equally as snappy. "You seem to talk all the time. Can you never simply be …quiet?"

He was disappointed when she did not respond. Draco desperately wanted to take his anger out on someone and she had been making it easy for him. Gracefully, she stood up and smoothed down her coat, as he calmly watched her; it was a moment filled with unease, but Draco was oddly appreciative. She made a movement of response, but simply opened her mouth and then snapped it shut again. After another moment of silence, she spoke.

"I understand why you're doing this Draco, so I'm not going to respond. You're upset and it's understandable – but please don't push me away." He sniffed haughtily, and she smiled slightly. "Come on, I know you've got a tin of biscuits in your bedroom – let's go and share them." Their eyes met and, for a moment, he was going to refuse. All of the energy for fighting left him, however, and he smiled back.

"Good idea. Come on then."


Tuesday 5th May 1998

The official war cemetery had been created just on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. When you stood at the top of the hill, you could see the lake and the magical turrets of the school. Draco let out a wistful sigh as he stood there, feeling a tug of longing in his chest. It was early in the morning and a light fog hovered over the castle and the village, making it look even more ethereal than normal. He jumped a little as Granger's hand slipped into his, and he felt his face turn pink as Lupin noticed and turned away.

"It's just there…" She whispered, pointing towards a tree in the distance. "Remus and I will stay here if…"

Cutting her off, he let go of her hand and set off down the hill. The gravestone was plain and simple; white with his mother's name carved into it. Draco felt a stirring of something which he couldn't identify; he wasn't sure if it was grief, or simply a feeling of discomfort that he was standing near his mother's body. Sighing, his breath hitching in his throat, he knelt down by the stone and placed a hand on it – the stone was cool on his skin, and he shuddered with the feel of it. As he knelt, he spotted something from the corner of his eye. A small ornate box stood at the foot of the grave, and Draco shuddered as he recognised it instantly. Clutching the box in his hand, he stood up and waved to Granger, beckoning her over.

"What is it?" She asked, after running down the hill to him. "You look as though you've seen a ghost…"

He gestured to the trinket sitting on the palm of his hand, glittering faintly in the sun. It was a beautiful little thing, and Granger greeted it with a gasp of admiration.

"I guess, in a way, I have." He said quietly.

"Where did you find that? What's inside?" Malfoy looked sketchily around the field, before slipping the item into his pocket.

"Not now. I'll tell you when we get back to the house, but we'll need to be alone."

Back at Grimmauld Place, the pair of them sat in the library as they used to. Granger had dismissed Potter and Weasley and Draco was enjoying being alone with her, although all of her efforts were concentrated on the tiny box on the table. Draco had opened it and laid the contents at the side; there was a small chain with an amulet attached to it, and a tiny scroll of parchment which he had yet to open. Granger looked at him inquisitively, and he cleared his throat as he picked up the chain.

"About three years ago my mother gave this as a gift to someone." He said quietly. "She wanted to protect him, believed that at some point in his life he would be in dire need of this amulet and the defence it would bring him."

"Your father?"

"No. My father very much disapproves of things like this, and he was in a terrible jealous rage when he found out. This was a gift to Severus Snape." Hermione sat back in the chair, letting out a surprised gasp.

"How do you suspect it got to your mother's grave? Why did you think it was put there?" Draco picked up the scroll of parchment and squinted at it.

"I presume we'll find out from this."

Trying to keep his hands steady, he fumbled with the delicate parchment and unravelled the scroll. The scrawling handwriting was instantly recognisable, and he felt his stomach clench with a whole mélange of emotions. Slowly, he handed the note to Granger and watched her face as she read it. The words were simply; it said 'Use it wisely. Severus'.

"Are you in contact with him?" She demanded angrily, slamming the parchment on the table. It was not the reaction he had been expecting; she looked absolutely furious." I can't believe you would put us in jeopardy by – "

"I'm not in contact with him." Draco interrupted shortly. "I haven't spoken to him since the day he brought me here. The only time I've tried to contact him was when you sent the letter…that's it." Granger bit on her bottom lip, thinking over what he had just told her. It seemed the ideal chance to ask her a favour; something that had been preying on his mind, but that he had been trying to push away. She seemed to realise that something was bothering him, as she looked directly into his eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"I need to know where he is, Granger." He let out a shaky sigh. "I know you don't understand; you only see him as a traitor and a murderer. But he's important to me – he's my godfather and my friend."

He watched silently as Granger chewed the inside of her cheek. Suddenly he was regretting telling her the way he felt. How would she be able to help him? She wasn't even willing to talk about Snape, let alone put Draco in contact with him. He let out a sigh, shaking his head.

"I'll see what I can do." She blurted. "They won't be very forthcoming…but I can try."

"Thank you. For everything."

And he really meant it.


Tuesday 19th May 1998

Draco waited impatiently, although he was not certain what he was waiting for. It was unlikely that Snape would appear from nowhere; that he would knock on the door one day and everything would be alright. Draco would not have been surprised if he did not see Snape ever again. Granger suddenly came into the attic, interrupting his thoughts with an unnecessary bang of the door. She sat down on the dusty rug, cross-legged, and looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Are you alright?" It was barely a whisper. The tenderness of the question infuriated him; he was suddenly filled with the burning idea that he did not want her there.

"I was better alone."

She sighed wearily, letting her thick curls cover her face.

"I wish you would just let me in…We were becoming so close…it's like two steps forward, one step back with you."

"I do not wish to discuss it."

Granger rubbed the bridge of her nose and let out a sigh. He knew that he was upsetting her; he had been since they had found the amulet. Sub-consciously, his pale hand hovered up to the chain that he wore around his neck. It was a piece of black onyx, smooth and round, attached to a silver chain. Draco kept it tucked underneath his shirt, hoping that it would keep him safe, but also bring him closer to Snape.

"Draco…" She said quietly. "I spoke to Lupin about Snape." His head whipped up, and his eyes found hers almost immediately. He lurched forwards onto his knees, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"What did they say? Will they bring him here?"

"No. I…he's missing Draco. The Death Eaters are talking about it, The Order are talking about it…he's just disappeared…"

Draco fell backwards with a thump. All the blood had drained from his face, and he suddenly felt tired. Granger reached out a hand to touch him, but he swatted it away. He did not need her comforting now. She hated Snape; she didn't even care if he was dead or alive.

"He can't be dead, Granger…he just can't."

"I know it's going to be hard for you, Draco, especially as you've just lost your mother. But you need – "

"No! You don't understand! He is our only hope for the wizarding world! If he is dead…then we all are."

She sat in silence for a moment, as though trying to understand this shock revelation. He watched as she ran her fingers through her bushy hair, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed. He seemed to enjoy her confusion; the look of bafflement on her face made his heart flip. It was an odd phenomenon, which he had no wish to explore. Eventually, she looked at him. He saw reluctance in her eyes, but he knew she would listen. Her insatiable curiosity always overwhelmed everything else.

"Explain…please…"

"Dumbledore was dying before Snape killed him, before I was even planning to kill him. The Gaunt ring…it was cursed; he put it on, but Snape managed to prevent the curse from spreading. Dumbledore knew I was planning to kill him…he asked Snape to do it instead. Snape never had a choice. He did not have a choice. He was working for The Order the whole time. Still is, if he's still alive."

"But…but why does that make him our only hope?"

"There were other things…things he wouldn't tell me. He and Dumbledore had a plan all along; they knew what was going to happen. That's why we need him, Granger…he knows how to save us all."


Author's Note: No! Your eyes are not deceiving you! This is in fact the latest chapter of If! I'm hoping it isn't too much of a disappointment after so long a wait, and i hope you'll all do me the honour of leaving some reviews! The next installment will be available shortly; it's the summer holidays, so i have bags of time just to devote to my writing! :D Thanks!