"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'"
Wednesday 17th June, 1998
Hermione burst into Draco's bedroom, closing the door behind her and locking it with a quick wave of her wand. She walked over and threw something onto the bed next to him; two bottles full of a murky-looking potion.
"Is that…?" Hermione smiled, nodding.
"Yes. I brewed it myself a month ago and hid it, just in case I'd ever need it."
"Does it have hair in it?"
"Yes. One has the hair of a muggle man, the other of a muggle woman. We'll have one hour to go and look for him." She sat down on the bed and began inspecting the potion, as Draco watched her.
"Are you sure you want to come? I realise I'm asking a lot of you…"
"Not at all. I have to do something – I'm going insane pent up here." Draco laughed.
"I know the feeling." Smiling, she extended one of the potions towards him.
"Do you think tonight will be alright?" Draco nodded slowly.
"I suppose there isn't any point in putting it off."
At 9 0'clock, Draco went off to his room as he usually did and Hermione went with him. Nobody was really that surprised and only Ron reacted, with a disgruntled sneer at them. Hermione swigged the potion with a pinched expression on her face, as Draco gulped it down without so much as a grimace. They began to change, and Hermione became a very demure-looking middle-aged woman. Draco was a very fat, moustached man with a receding hairline, which caused Hermione to giggle.
"Are we ready then?" She asked. "We have an hour to get there and back. I have Harry's invisibility cloak, so we shouldn't have a problem leaving unnoticed."
"How did you get it?" Draco asked, admiring it as she handed it to him.
"I just went into his room and took it. He is surprisingly terrible when it comes to security; you would never guess that he has a mass murdered after him! Come on, any longer and the potion will be wearing off."
Spinner's End was in darkness when they arrived, and Hermione shuddered when she saw the destitution of the place. Draco had his hand resting on his belt, covering his wand just in case he needed it; he wouldn't let Hermione get hurt. They advanced slowly towards the terraced houses, crossing the stream and making their way to the most dilapidated house.
"Is that it?" Hermione whispered. "That's his home?"
"Yes, but it's been destroyed since I was last here." Draco approached it gingerly, and began murmuring spells under his breath at the door.
"Do you really think he could be here? Because I'm not sure. They might be watching it Draco, waiting for us to come…"
When the detective spells produced no responses, Draco lightly placed his hand on the door and pushed it open. They stepped into the hallway of the house, and were instantly hit by the smell of rot. Hermione repressed a gag, covering her mouth and nose with a handkerchief that she produced from her pocket.
"Where shall we go?" She asked, wincing. "I just want to get out of here as soon as possible.
"Perhaps we should go and look at his study? There might be something in there – a clue of some sort."
Treading carefully, Hermione followed Draco as they walked further into a house. They entered a small room that was lined with bookcases and looked out onto an untidy yard. Granger tentatively pulled open the top drawer of the desk, and began to rifle through the papers as Draco inspected the bookshelves. Suddenly, Granger let out a hiss of pain and swiftly withdrew her hand from the drawer.
"What is it?" Draco demanded, rushing to her side. "What's the matter?"
"My hand…it felt like it was on fire. I think there's been some kind of curse put on this room Draco. I want to leave right now – I think we've put ourselves in danger…"
"Astute as always, Miss Granger."
Draco spun around, withdrawing his wand. Lucius Malfoy stood behind him, leaning against the door frame and smiling menacingly. He looked deranged, and Hermione felt a tingle of fear run down her spine. In the moonlight, the similarity between him and Draco was uncanny. It unnerved Granger a little, but she pushed away the thought. "Ah Draco, what a pleasant surprise."
"Father." Draco's voice was steely and clipped; laced with menace, but not quite managing to pull it off. "I would say the same, but it would be a lie." Lucius sighed and gently ran his finger along the length of his wand, looking casually nonchalant.
"You always tended towards the melodramatic Draco. You are more like your mother than I originally thought." Draco's grip on his wand tightened.
"I heard what you did to her!" He growled, suddenly full of rage. "What sort of a bastard kills his own wife?"
"The same that kills his own son."
In the same instant, both Draco and Hermione lurched forwards. They were prevented by an invisible shield, which threw them both backwards onto the floor. "I have a gift for your little mudblood friend." Lucius clicked his fingers, and Crabbe and Goyle appeared holding a struggling woman. Draco tried furiously to see if he recognised her, but Granger's reaction told him who it was.
"Mum?" The writhing woman stopped suddenly and gaped at Hermione.
"Hermione! My darling! Let me go, I say! Let me go!" Hermione was crying and reaching her hand out towards her mother, but the shield was stopping her. Draco wrapped his arms around her waist and tried pulling her back, all to Lucius' amusement.
"Don't you like surprises? How terribly sad."
"Let her go…please. I'll do anything…anything." Lucius sneered at Hermione, and then turned to Draco.
"What shall I have her do, son? Kill herself? Kill you? What would be the best way to see her suffer…?"
"Father, don't!" Lucius chuckled, shaking his head miserably.
"What a spectacle this has turned out to be! When did you become so devoted to your mudblood bitch?"
"Don't talk to my daughter like that!" Lucius motioned with his hand, and the two lackeys threw her to the ground.
"I shall make you a deal, Miss Granger. Give yourself over to me, and your mother will walk free. How does that satisfy you?" Draco looked at her, his eyes wide with fear.
"Don't…"
"I'll do it!" Hermione stepped forwards. "I'll do it. You can take me and free my mother."
"No!" Her mother let out a high-pitched scream. "No Hermione! Leave, find safety, don't give yourself to him."
"Mum…I can't…"
"Just go Hermione." Her mother said weakly. "Whilst you can. Go with this friend of yours, and don't let this man win."
Draco clutched onto Hermione's arm and was beginning to tug her away, as Lucius laughed bitterly.
"How quaint! A mother's sacrifice."
"Granger, come on…" Hermione was sobbing, holding her arm out towards her mother.
"I love you, mum!"
"And I love you!"
Lucius laughed louder, as Draco wrapped his arms around Hermione in preparation for apparation. Just as they were about to leave, they heard a whispered curse. The last thing Hermione saw before she left was a flash of brilliant emerald light.
Thursday 18th June, 1998. Early morning
Hermione sat with Draco on his bed, his arms wrapped tightly around her as she sobbed into his chest. The last image of her mother, knelt in the dirt with her arm outstretched, would stay with Draco forever. Lucius had killed both of their mothers with coldness. It made Draco furious; his hands were shaking with rage, and he could have screamed. Granger gripped onto his bicep, her fingernails digging into the skin as her chest heaved with the crying.
"Shhh…" Draco tried to soothe her, although he didn't really know how to. "They'll hear you."
"What am I going to do?" She sobbed. "My mother…dead. Where's my father? What about a funeral? The rest of the Order…they'll be furious that we didn't tell them we were going. We should have done it properly, they could have helped!" Draco kissed the top of her head and sighed.
"We needn't worry about that now. I'm sure your father is safe; we can write him a letter." He stroked her hair gently. "I'll look after you, like you've looked after me."
Suddenly, Hermione's tears escalated into laughter, and she was clutching onto him and shaking with giggles. He stared at her, a little outraged that she was laughing at his attempts to comfort her.
"Oh Draco, I just can't believe…If someone had told me two years ago that my mother would be dead and you would be caring for me…" She laughed again. "I would have slapped them and sent them to the hospital wing." She buried her face into his chest, as he stroked her back.
"I mean it though. Remember, I lost my mother too…not that long ago, in fact." Hermione looked up at him. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose was running and she looked a little bit like a guinea pig, but Draco was suddenly overcome with how much he really did care about her. She brought her face closer to his and kissed him, tenderly and quickly.
"Thank you." She sighed, and wriggled around a bit. "Do you think we could perhaps go to sleep?"
"Of course. Would you like me to walk you to your room?" He began pulling himself away from her, as Hermione blushed a little and looked nervously at the bed.
"I thought perhaps…well…you might let me stay here. I don't think I'll be able to sleep alone…I…I'm scared." Draco hid his smile as he wrapped his arms back around her, and he continued to smile as she led in his arms and fell asleep.
Wednesday 1st July 1998
"It is insupportable, no, unthinkable that a tragedy such as this was allowed to happen." Everyone in the room looked at Remus Lupin, who was positively seething as he addressed the Order. As soon as Hermione had admitted what had happened, a full Order meeting had been called; they had waited so long for it because the matter was so serious, and Remus had been insistent that everyone had to attend. Granger sat in the corner with Molly comforting her lovingly. Draco found it somewhat sweet that Mrs Weasley had been so kind to Granger; it was as though she had stepped straight into the place that her mother had left. Lupin cleared his throat and continued.
"We need to be better informed. If we had had someone working for us, spying on the Death Eater camp so to speak, we would've known about Lucius sooner. There is too much happening that we do not know – and it is imperative that we find it out."
A few murmurings went around the room, as people discussed Remus' point. Although Draco knew that it was a good idea, that it would benefit the Order in countless ways, he had a bad feeling about it. It seemed to him that there was only one way they could possibly do this, only one person they could possibly use…Potter and Weasley sat next to Lupin, and both of them kept shooting strange looks his way.
"We have an idea." Potter said suddenly, causing everyone to stop and turn to look at him. "Ron and I think we should make use of the Death Eater that's been living amongst us. Malfoy should do it. He's basically got one foot in the door anyway, and I'm sure it wouldn't be that much of a stretch for him to act evil."
Every pair of eyes fixed upon Draco, and he felt himself shrinking away from the attention. Already his mind was screaming that he did not want to do this. They could not make him return to his father. He was certain that, if he was even to attempt this, no one would believe him and he would be killed before he could discover anything. He looked around the room helplessly, desperately trying to find someone to be on his side.
"Draco…"
"No!" Draco stood up and cleared his throat. "I can't do it! Don't you understand how hard it was for me? Can't you even for one second begin to consider what will happen to me? If you send me to them, they will kill me."
He could not stand there for a moment longer as his eyes welled with tears. Without looking back, he stormed from the room and ran straight up to the attic. His heart was racing, as thought it would burst from his chest, and cold salty tears trickled down his cheeks. As the attic door opened he hastily wiped the tears, but saw with relief that it was only Granger. She walked towards him tentatively, as though worried that he would be angry with her.
"Are you alright?" She whispered.
"I'm fine. It's just…can't they understand that this is too dangerous for me? They'll kill me."
Hermione placed her hand on his arm and looked him in the eyes. For some reason, Draco felt uncomfortable with this – it felt as though she was invading his privacy, almost as if she was looking into his soul. He closed his eyes and swallowed, before letting out a shaky sigh.
"Draco…I think you should consider – " His eyes snapped open as his body seemed almost to swell with rage. Surely he was not hearing her correctly? Surely she was not suggesting that he do as they say? Shooting her a look of disgust, he pulled his arm away and staggered backwards.
"I would have thought you of all people would understand. But you're just like them aren't you? Nothing is more important than Potter – nothing" 'Not even me' was unspoken, but both of them understood what he meant.
"I have put so much on the line for you." She said quietly, her voice wobbling with emotion. "I befriended you when everyone else here would have thrown you out. I have defended you so many times, although you haven't been there to witness it, and I have begged and pleaded with the Order to make them do things to help you." She took a deep breath, before letting it out shakily. "Your father killed my mother and yet I am still willing to support you." She flicked away a tear angrily, staring at him resolutely. "Now tell me that you're not important to me." He could not deny it, and that fact unnerved him. When he thought about all she had done for him, he realised that he had done nothing for her except tease, mock and insult. He shifted gingerly on the spot, determined not to meet her eye.
"I'm sorry." She let out a small sigh of relief. He did not look up as she moved across the room, but simply listened as she opened the door to leave.
"I need to lie down for a little while. Come with me?"
As they led squashed together on her little bed, Draco absent-mindedly stroked her hair and sighed happily. It was time like this, when they were silent together, that he felt closest to her. This sentimental dross that had once been so repulsive to him now seemed like second nature; in fact, it felt more like a compulsion. He turned to look at her and saw that she was biting her lip.
"What is it?" She let out a gentle sigh.
"I want you to do it." It was not a request but simply a demand, and Draco found that it did not bother him. It seemed reasonable of her to request this.
"But they'll kill me." She propped herself up to look down at him
"I've thought of a way to prevent them from killing you. I don't think you'll like it, but it's reasonable – and they wouldn't touch a hair on your head if they believed you."
"Tell me." Granger closed her eyes and breathed in as though to compose herself.
"Tell them you'll hand me over. Tell them that if they let you back in, Harry's mudblood friend will be theirs."
Author's Note: Another update! Thanks for the amazing response to the last chapter - I was thrilled! Hopefully this chapter will be liked just as much, even if it is quite a sad one! I can confirm that there are only five chapters left in this fic - which is quite sad, as i've enjoyed writing it! Anyway, it isn't over yet so you have no excuse not to review! ;)
