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The next couple of days went by as in a dream. I picked up Bella before school, then carried the bag for her to her first class. Between classes I waited for her, for I couldn't bear to stay away from her any longer than I had to. At lunch we always sat together on a small table of our own. We talked about everything and nothing, no topic was too uninteresting or boring. I wanted to know everything about her and it seemed Bella was thinking the same, for a never-ending stream of questions was directed at me as well.
After school I drove her home and we sat together in front of her house for hours, mostly talking, but sometimes just listening to music. She was fascinated by my piano playing and admitted that she was listening to the CD of my recordings I had given her every night before going to sleep. She wanted to know if I could sing and wouldn't let go until I proved to her that this was not the case. She said she liked it still, but I know my singing voice wasn't anything to write home about and she didn't ask me again.
We kissed again.
I can't describe how her kisses made me feel. Just the thought of them was something to let my lie awake at night. They were so much better than anything I had experienced before. I had kissed other girls, but there was no comparison. I realized I wanted to do more, much more than just kissing her – though, there wasn't anything 'just' about our kisses – but I knew with absolute conviction I wouldn't want to force her to do anything she didn't want to. The shadow of her near-rape was still lingering over me and I made very, very sure not to do anything or to touch her in any way that could disturb her. So I took to taking a very cold shower every evening and every morning instead.
My family was insufferable. Alice was walking around with a self-satisfied smirk on her face and every time she saw us at school, she grinned over both ears. If I weren't so grateful for her help I would have smacked her, even knowing I probably would only hurt myself. It was the thought that counted.
Emmett took me aside after the first day and wanted to know if he needed to give me The Talk. I know I turned a deep red, rivaling the worst I had ever seen on Bella's face. Ultimately I managed to convince him that I knew about everything I needed to know and that his help wasn't needed, thank you very much. I still don't know if he had been serious.
When I was home I had a hard time to concentrate on my homework. The teachers in my class had already noticed that I seemed a bit distracted lately, but so far I had managed to keep up in class. It helped that many of the lessons were actually nothing new to me, as I had worked through a lot of the material ahead of time. I always had liked to learn things. When I was done with my homework, I usually went down to the piano. That melody I had started to play with on the weekend wouldn't let me go. I could feel that I was close to what I wanted with it, but the last little bit to make it perfect – to make it worthy of Bella – eluded me for the longest time.
Then, on Friday night, it finally fell into place. Playing it through for the first time I could imagine her lying on a bed, her hair spilled out around her head like a halo of sorts. Her eyes were closed and her chest was slowly rising in deep sleep. The melody took on almost physical form as it wove around her, caressing her with its gentle touch. It moved in the rhythm of her breaths. It was perfect.
It was Bella's lullaby.
I looked up and, like when I had started working on the piece for the first time, I saw Carlisle and Esme standing there listening to me playing. They both smiled and I didn't need Jasper's talent to know they were happy for me.
* * *
Bella had asked me to come to her house by eight AM on the day we were driving to Seattle. She wanted to introduce me to her father before we were setting of.
I had to admit, the thought of meeting Chief Swan made me nervous. Of course I had met him before several times, even before Bella had moved to Forks, though I doubted we had exchanged more than five words at the time. When I had been in the hospital after Bella's accident, he had come to visit me once. He had naturally been very grateful I had saved his daughter's life and had told me so. But now, meeting him again in the capacity of my girlfriend's father, was something so very, very different. I hoped he didn't see it as a reason to shoot me and that I still had some bonus left from the time I saved Bella.
I rang the bell, more nervous than I was willing to admit, but when Bella opened the door for me, her sight eased my anxiety. Just seeing her always made me feel so much better.
"Good morning, Bella," I said, a smile on my face.
"Edward." She smiled as well and it took everything I had not to draw her to me and kiss her. Only the knowledge that her father was only a room away stopped me. I could see by the twinkle in her eyes that she was thinking the same.
Chief Swan came from the kitchen into the entranceway looking for who had arrived.
"Good morning, Chief Swan," I greeted him politely.
He didn't say a word, looking me up and down like a suspect in a rape case, his lips pressed together, his eyes hard as steel. I expected him to tell me to assume the position and pad me down for weapons next. I almost fidgeted, keeping myself from shuffling my feet with a supreme act of will. Bella placed her hand into mine and instantly I felt a hundred percent better.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, he moved his head in an infinitesimal nod.
"You'll be taking care of my girl?"
"Yes, sir," I swore to him. I would never allow anything to happen to Bella. In that regard we were of one accord.
He looked at me a little bit longer, as if to see if he could really trust me, but finally he must have come to the conclusion he could.
"All right. You have fun." The last was aimed at Bella, though he cast me a glance indicating clearly that if I should have too much fun, he would shred me to tiny little pieces too small to be identified. I believed him.
Bella let go of my hand and went to the kitchen to get her bag. On the way in she placed a quick kiss on her father's cheek, which made Chief Swan smile, though the moment his eyes came back to me that smile was gone.
"Dad, we'll be back by eleven. I put a casserole into the oven - you only have to heat it for 30 minutes. I left a note on the fridge. Please don't burn it like the last time."
He mumbled something unintelligible, looking a little bit sheepish for a moment.
He watched from the door as we got into the car and then drove down the street until we were out of sight of the house.
Bella heaved a sigh of relief. "That went better than I thought it would," she said, snickering.
"I expected him to pull out a lie detector to question me about my intentions towards you the whole time."
"And what would those intentions be?" Bella asked, looking over to me with a wide grin.
I didn't have to think about this. "To treat you like the queen you are."
"And you are my shining knight in armor, coming to the rescue to save my life and my virtue."
"Maybe the knight in the old leather jacket, but always at your side to rescue you from whatever you need rescuing from."
Bella might be talking in jest, but I was dead serious. I would never leave Bella alone ever again and with the rate she was getting into trouble, I knew there would be more chances for me to rescue her. She was a magnet for trouble and keeping her safe and sound might turn out a full time job. Not that I minded the least.
The drive to Seattle took a little over four hours. We took a break at a gas station after about two hours, stretching our legs, taking care of some necessary business. Bella offered to take over driving duty and I agreed. I didn't mind driving, but why risk getting tired if somebody could spell you?
Even though it had been overcast when we had left Forks, once we left the Olympic Peninsular the weather cleared up and the sun came out. As it was lunch time when we arrived in the city, I asked Bella what she wanted to eat. She opted for sandwiches and so we went to a nice coffee shop that offered take-out and found an empty bench at the Occidental Park.
"Why does your family avoid sunlight?"
Bella was pointing her face towards the sun, her eyes closed to half slits. She had finished her sandwich, but seemed to be quite content to remain where she was right now.
"What made you say that?" I had my suspicions, but wanted hear what Bella was thinking.
"Why else move to Forks?" She turned to look at me. "I looked it up. Forks is the one place in the US with the least amount of sunshine. And, last week, when there actually, really was some sun, they ditched school. It's not that they turn to dust in the sun, or anything like that, isn't it?"
I shook my head, thinking how to explain it to her.
"Remember when I've told you all those old legends are nothing but myth and don't hold any truth?"
Bella nodded.
"Well, there's one thing that makes vampires stand out from normal people like you and me. When they are changed, their whole body is changed. It turns hard like stone, absolutely impenetrable. And their skin, it's like … marble, I think is the best comparison, or maybe diamonds. And when the sun shines on it … they sparkle. It is quite noticeable. And as we always try to blend in, they can't show themselves to others in the sunlight. I have to show you sometime. I'm sure somebody will be willing to demonstrate. It's quite impressive, really."
"Wow!"
I nodded in agreement. It was an impressive sight and one I never got tired of, even though I was used to it.
"Have you ever thought about changing yourself?"
That question got me to sit up.
"What do you mean by that?"
Bella shrugged. "I was just thinking if you have ever wanted to become a vampire yourself. I'm sure the topic must have come up at one point."
"No!" I said firmly, though more as an answer to her first question. The topic had come up, naturally, for one couldn't grow up in a family of vampires and not think about it. But my opinion on that matter was clear. I knew only too well all the problems that came with being a vampire. Of course, I knew there were many advantages, like being super strong and super fast. A vampire was practically invincible. Your mind, your brainpower increased tenfold once you were changed. They were all things most people would see as ample compensations for the down sides. Like the blood drinking, first of all. Even if one would be able to substitute on animal blood, like my family did, it wasn't a pleasurable thought. And the thirst for human blood would always be there, an eternal struggle to fight the monster, fight with oneself, being always afraid to slip up, just once. I saw how my family suffered every single day, even though they were very good at hiding it. And then the immortality. Yes, I knew that many people would see it as the biggest advantage, but I didn't. Just to imagine to stay the same forever and to watch the person I loved grow old and die without being able to do anything about it. My family was living through it, knowing that I would change over time, while they … they always would stay the same. Still, they never had asked me if I wanted to be changed, knowing that I wanted to stay human. And now there was Bella. If for no other reason, that would be enough to want to stay the way I was right now. I loved Bella and if I had a chance, I wanted to live a normal life with her. Which I couldn't do if I was a vampire.
Bella looked at me, surprised at my firm denial. I smiled wryly and tried to explain. "I know you think being a vampire is cool, and in a way it is, but there are many drawbacks, too many for me to want to be one. My family has to fight every day with what they are. Not that they are unhappy, they all have arranged themselves with what they have become. But believe me, if they'd have a chance to turn back to being human, they would do so without a second thought."
Bella looked still doubtful. Maybe it took somebody as closely involved with vampires as I was to see all sides. Bella only noticed the advantages, not that I could blame her.
"If I'd be a vampire, I couldn't be with you," I explained, taking her hands to my lips and kissed them gently. "I wouldn't be able to resist you, much like I'm unable to resist you now. But as a vampire, I would kill you. I would not be able to stop myself."
Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes grew wide when she realized what me being a vampire would mean for her … for us. She freed one hand and cupped my face with it. I leaned into her touch, my eyes closed, savoring the feeling of her skin on mine. Without another word, she pulled me closed and we kissed. Hungrily, almost desperately, I opened my mouth, pulling her in.
Only the need to breathe made me break the contact. Bella was heaving deep breaths herself, her cheeks flushed pink, her hair slight mussed where my hands had forked through it. She lowered her eyes, though I saw a smile playing around her lips.
She swallowed. "I think I see your point," she admitted, then leaned forward once again for another kiss.
We spent the afternoon browsing through bookstores. My family did have an extensive library and we constantly added to it, though most times we bought online. Watching Bella buying books was a totally different experience. Entering a new bookstore, she usually started out in the classics section, running a finger over the spines of all books, sometimes picking out a book, looking at the cover and the back, before returning it to the shelf. In some cases she placed the book in the basket at her feet. Whenever she had five or six books in there, she picked up the basket and took it to one of the armchairs to look through them more thoroughly. She read the beginning then a section in the middle of the books, then, eventually, she got back up and, replaced most of the books again. Out of one hour of doing this, she picked maybe one or two books to buy. Once she was done with the classical section, she began to wander through the store, looking for whatever caught her fancy.
Even though I spent most of my time watching Bella – still my favorite pastime by far – I managed to find a couple of books for myself, especially after Bella had chased me away, claiming I was distracting her. One book was on the Civil War and I was fairly certain Jasper hadn't seen that one before, another one was for Alice on fashion at the turn of the last century. I now was looking through a book on classic cars, wondering if Rosalie would like it. Her taste normally went more for modern and fast, but there were some seriously sleek looking cars in there, and so I decided to buy it for her anyway.
I was looking if I could find something for Emmett, who was rather difficult to shop for, when Bella stepped up to me and wrapped her arms around me. I had been so engrossed in the selections before me that I hadn't noticed Bella stepping up to me. Grinning, I turned in her arms until I could place my arm around her shoulder.
"Are you done here?" We had entered the Elliot Bay Book Company maybe two hours ago, but it was huge place, taking up an entire block of old brickwork buildings, and I believed I had seen less than one third of it so far.
Bella held up a shopping bag obviously containing her purchases. "I'm done. But what about you? You had said you wanted to come to Seattle for some reason."
I looked at her blankly, trying to remember when I had ever said something like that to her.
"That day after you started talking to me again, you remember?" she plowed on. "You said you needed to go to Seattle anyway and then asked me if I you could give me a ride."
Oops. I grimaced, ducking my head a little. I wasn't very happy to be caught in a lie, though, to be honest, it had only partially been a lie. I had wanted Bella to believe that I wasn't doing her a favor when I offered her a ride, knowing that she would refuse me if she thought so. And, really, it wasn't just an act of kindness, not for the reasons Bella would probably have thought back then. Ever since I had heard about her plans to come to Seattle I had hoped I could be included in that trip, that I could spend time with her. That was all I had wanted.
"Maybe," I began, "maybe what I need to do here is to spend time with you."
"But you said," she started once again, but then hesitated suddenly. "Oh, are you saying the only reason you wanted to come here was because of me?"
I bobbed my head in an affirmative. "Bella, all I want is to spend as much time with you as possible. You should know that by now."
Her eyes grew wide, but then a wide grin spread over her face. "You know, Edward, you are really terribly cute."
"What?"
She went on her tiptoes to place a kiss on my nose. Still grinning, she took my hand to pull me outside into the sunshine. I stopped her just long enough to pay for the books I've found for Alice and Jasper, then followed her more than willingly. Once outside, she proceeded to pull me down towards the piers and the busses that ran there along the city center.
"Where are we going?" I asked. I was willing enough to follow Bella everywhere she wanted to go, but it would be nice to have a destination.
"It's a nice day," she said, smiling at me over her shoulder, "We still have over an hour before we need to leave and I've never been on the top of the Space Needle."
What else did I need to know?
