Merry Christmas.

Chapter Two-Childhood:

Severus hadn't learnt about magic until he was four, on an otherwise nondescript day. He and his mother had gone on a walk, Severus had been eager to go explore the woods a short distance from their home, and Eileen had decided that there was no danger in taking a longer walk, as Tobias was not supposed to be home for a while yet. The sun was shining, and she allowed Severus to run ahead, confident she would be able to see him, even through the dense branches.

Severus would remember how he found a clearing a short way into the forest, and had stopped, entranced by the way the sun glinted off the coats of two wolf puppies. He didn't notice the mother wolf stalking towards him through the tall grass beside him until it was too late. He was lucky; Severus thought later, that the wolf did not attack him with her teeth. With unsheathed claws, it had raked its claws down his back, leaving deep scratch marks from his right shoulder to left hip. Alerted by his scream, Eileen had ran forward, and pulled out the wand she hadn't used in front of anyone else in years, but kept with her just in case. She reached the clearing in time to shield her son against the wolf's next attack with a well placed spell. She scared the wolves off with a loud crack from her wand, and fell to her knees beside her son, who had fallen to the ground.

Severus had been lucid enough to realize his mother was doing something to make the pain stop, and the wounds he could certainly feel but could not see knit back together again. He saw her wand, before she put it away, and knew what it was from an illustration of a wizard he had seen in a ratty, torn copy of a fairy-tale his mother had smuggled to him.

After healing her son's wounds Eileen had taken his hand and they had walked back to their home. Severus did not say that he had seen her wand, and Eileen did not think to warn him against saying anything of what had happened to his father.

It was later than Eileen had hoped it would be, and Tobias was already home, and angry that his wife wasn't there to make him supper.

As Eileen scurried into the kitchen, Severus had started babbling about the wolf, and had shown the scar from its claws, and had asked, wasn't it just so great that mum had a magic wand, like the wizard in the drawings?

A very confused Severus had been slapped hard on both cheeks, been told there was no such thing as magic, that he was never to speak of such a thing again, and to go to bed without supper, hunger be damned.

The next time Severus saw his mother; she had a black eye, a bruise on her cheek bone and had covered the rest of the body from wrist to ankle.

That was the first clue that would, long before any child should lose the illusion that adults are perfect, lead Severus to the realization that his father cared more for normalcy than the lives of his wife and son.


The grey fog swirled around the room. Severus had abandoned looking at the door—he had a feeling his next visitor would have no need to use it. An instinctual urge had made him stand in a corner where he could observe what little of the room he could make out through the fog.

Severus wondered how other men and women fared in his place. For him, it was just another challenge, another obstacle in his path. Did other men give into the urge to scream, to hyper-ventilate? Did they pace around the room, desperately looking for a way out? Severus had learnt to resist those urges long ago.

Severus knew he had a strong disposition to not forgive. But he had often felt regret for his actions. Was that not enough? Remembering wrongs committed against you was a part of human nature. Even more, it was a rather large part of Severus' nature. His whole life (and how odd it was, to realize his 'life' was now past-tense!) often seemed but the work of actions taken because of the grudges he held.

The fog settled into the middle of the room, leaving the edges clear. The mist seemed to grow denser and started to swirl in circles, creating a cyclone in the middle of the room that didn't move from its spot. Severus had the oddest feeling that he should be frightened, but couldn't quite muster up enough energy.

The fog swirled with increasing urgency, until it seemed to explode silently, and the fog blew towards the walls and dissipated completely. Where the middle of the cyclone had been stood two very tall wizards in white robes. Despite their apparent age, both wizards had dark brown hair, and, when they walked toward Severus, he saw they walked with the agility of young men. When they spoke their words reverberated around the confined space.

"Severus Snape," the taller of the two men said "we are the Guardians of the Holding Rooms. We were here from the beginning of time, and before the beginning of magic. We will still be here when they end."

Severus wondered whether it was possible the man had ever had human children. Surely Lockhart was pompous enough to be a descendant?

The other Guardian spoke now. "You have died," I hadn't noticed, thought Severus sarcastically, "and been brought to this Holding Room to see if you can be Redeemed." The capitalization was obvious.

"Soon, you will view memories—most your own—and may have a chance to speak with some of the people of your past. After each person, you will be given time to think. If you are Redeemed, you move forward. If not, you stay here until the Others collect you. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

*** *** ***

When Severus was ten, there were two months in which he did not see his father. Such occurrences weren't infrequent, but never before then had Tobias been gone so long.

After seven weeks young Severus had been helping his mother in their garden when he asked a question that he would remember the answer to forever.

"Why do you stay with him, Mum?"

Eileen had sat back on her knees and stared at the blue sky above them. Severus would remember how her hair was shiny in the sunlight, and how sweat had stuck little tendrils of it to her face.

"I love him, Severus. He is the only family left to me."

Severus remembered her answer when the beatings got particularly bad, or when they didn't have enough to eat. But when Severus was sixteen and Tobias killed Eileen in a fit of drunken rage, Severus had decided that no matter how much love Eileen had once felt for Tobias, she should have left him long ago, and taken Severus with her.

Severus never forgave her for staying.

*** *** ***

When the two men disappeared, someone else took their place.

Severus was mildly surprised to have to look down to meet his mother's eyes.

"Oh Severus." She said, and for the first time in his life Severus saw his mother's eyes fill with tears not caused by physical pain.

AN: My updating time sucks, I know. But I would really appreciate it if you reviewed anyway... please? For Christmas cheer?