Chapter2
Bella
My scream was much louder than I anticipated. It must have shocked my attacker because he stopped taking his pants off. That's when the real pain began.
The man above me, Danny, grabbed my hair and repeatedly slammed my face into the floor of the van. Joe punched my sides with both his fists. My vision began to blur but did not go black, not when I wanted it to the most.
"Fuck! Someone must've heard that! God-fucking-dammit. We gotta get rid of her, now!" The man in the drivers seat was infuriated by my scream. He was driving again, I hoped he wasn't taking me too far away from Port Angeles. If I survived this, I would never find my way back there again.
Someone rolled me over and I felt the hits start anew. Are they trying to kill me? I've imagined how I would die several times before but not once did this occur to me. Naked in the back of a dirty, smoky van being beaten by two repulsive men.
I tried to squint open my eyes but could only manage to crack the left one. Joe was at my side, putting his shirt back on. When did he take it off? Danny was still at my head digging in his pocket for something. I hoped they had found enough amusement for the night. Maybe I would get lucky and they'd toss me out of the van. I'm sure some hitchhiker along the way will stop and help me. At the very least they would surely call 911.
There was a raucous laugh from above me, I jerked in Danny's direction. I felt my body start to shake with sobs. "Please, please god just let me go. I won't tell anyone what's happened. Look at me! It's not like I can walk to get help!" I tried to plead with him as he lowered the knife to my neck.
"You shouldn't have screamed you fucking bitch." That's it. Those were the last words I'd ever hear. He cut my throat from side to side, while Joe opened the back door. They both pushed me out onto the cold pavement below.
The blackness finally came but quickly shifted into something else.
I was sitting in the cafeteria. No one was there except for Edward, who was sitting across from me with his delicious crocked grin on his face.
"So, do you have any more theories?" His expression seemed amused but inside his golden eyes I thought I saw pain and urgency swirling around.
"Sort of." I hoped Jacob wouldn't be upset if I told Edward about his story but I knew I had to. I would tell Edward anything, everything.
"More super-hero stuff?" He chuckled lightly, but it seemed off somehow.
"Umm. Actually, no. I talked to Jacob Black." I bit my lower lip, wondering if I was crossing a line.
"Oh." His lips were pressed together in a tight, adorable line.
"You're a cold-one aren't you?" I already knew the answer. And I knew it didn't matter. That nothing mattered but him.
"A cold-one, Bella? What exactly is that?"
The edges of my vision began to fade. I concentrated on Edward's face.
"Ed….ward?" I wanted to ask what was happening but I couldn't find my voice.
"Yes, it's Edward, Bella. Stay with me, okay? I'm going to help you." Of course I'll stay with you, silly. You don't have to help me though, I already know.
"Vam…pire." When the word escaped my lips I realized I was not alone in the cafeteria with Edward as I had imagined. The reality of the night came crashing into my chest with such force it stole my breath.
They had beaten me.
They planned to rape me.
Did they steal my virginity while I was blacked out?
The pain came next. My entire body was engulfed in it. I tried desperately to open my eyes but realized something was stopping me. Had they beat them so much I was blinded? My neck was on fire. I could smell the blood pouring from my body and knew it wouldn't be much longer. If only I could see Edward's face once more.
While I concentrated on breathing and trying to pull into focus everything that had happened, I felt the blackness returning. I welcomed it again, hoping it would take away my pain and bring Edward back to me, if only in a dream.
*
Edward
I'm here, Edward. Turn around; run and we'll be at the end of the alley. Regardless of what Alice may sometimes think, her vision is most certainly a blessing.
Vampire? Does she know what I am? How is that possible? How would she feel knowing I was the one trying to save her? Would she cringe away from my touch?
I had no time to analyze it further, within seconds I was holding Bella inside my silver Volvo. Someone must have dropped Alice off at my car so it wouldn't get left behind.
"She's loosing a lot of blood, Edward. There's only one way she'll make it alive." How Alice was managing to keep her voice so calm I could not fathom. I tried to keep the growl from escaping as I answered.
"But then she wouldn't be alive!"
"It's the only way. Watch." She played back a vision for me.
Bella lying on a hospital bed. The white linen was stained with her blood. I was kneeling beside her, holding her hand in mine, my body trembling with tears that could never escape. Carlisle put his hands on both my shoulders. "I'm sorry son. There's nothing else we can do for her. She's gone."
As I held my broken angel, I realized how much I truly loved her. While it brought out my monster in the beginning, her scent is now a sweet perfume to me. Venom still expectantly gathers in my mouth but I have had no desire to inject my poison into her body. Until now.
I love Bella more than I can comprehend. Do they not say, "If you truly love something, set it free. If they do not return they were never really yours to begin with." But that's the crux of it, isn't it? While Bella may not be mine yet, if I let her go she can never return from death. Will she spend an eternity angry, betrayed and miserable if I subject her to a life as a vampire?
Can I spend an eternity knowing I let her die? Carlisle explained to me that as permanent creatures any change for us is monumental and unwavering. This love would never disappear. I would never heal from her loss. Shortly after she left this Earth I would find a way to follow.
Bella began convulsing in my lap, her limbs flailing as her heart rate increased to a dangerous rhythm. I lightly stroked her hair hoping to provide her with at least a small amount of comfort.
I knew the inward-debate was frivolous. In the end I was far too selfish to let her go. I would live out my forever with unyielding guilt, but I would not allow her to die when I could offer her some semblance of a life.
"We're almost home, Edward. Carlisle and the others will be waiting." Carlisle can do this. You don't have to worry.
I knew Alice meant that Carlisle would bite Bella so I would not have to worry about my control. This was one area where my control was the last thing on my mind. I would save her, while condemning her to this life.
I kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you, Bella. Please forgive me."
