Alrighty then! We got another update! I'm sorry it took so long but here it is. Warning this chapter is not quite as humorous as the others. Things start getting dangerous, but don't worry, the humor shall continue!

SAm-I-am: Meet the Fockers is on TV.

Chapter 5

Artemis sat up in bed. She looked around the room, forgetting where she was for a moment, then the memory of yesterday flooded back to her. In her misery she crawled out of bed and looked at the clock, 12:30 pm. Her first day at work wouldn't start for another 2 and a half hours. She got up and walked to her closet. Today she chose a green top with sleeves that hung loosely and a pair of black pants. She threw on some socks and her green converse shoes.

She slowly walked out the room and saw a note on the refrigerator addressed to her. She saw the letters in her name where written chaotically yet almost artistically. She furrowed her brows and walked over to it. This wasn't Damian or Joey's writing. She opened it and saw it was a letter with a Joker card.

Dearest Artemis,

Just wanted you to know that I will be seeing you very soon. Don't go anywhere sweetheart I don't like waiting.

Artemis threw the note away and threw the card next to the other one. She rolled her eyes and walked to refrigerator. She pulled out some breakfast and juice. Then she got up and grabbed her deep purple pea coat. She had other things to do then wait around for the Joker all day.

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Joker arrived at the apartment at 4pm. He kicked the door in and came in dancing a bit. "Hellooo," he said hauntingly, "anyone home?" A door opened slowly and Joker smiled, aw she waited for him. Nope, it was just the one named Joey. He sighed in irritation, he told her not to go anywhere, well he would have to fix this problem before it got worse.

He watched as the boy acted as if he wasn't even there. He stood in one place for a long moment before Joey finally spoke.

"Hey, man, do you know if we have any food here," he asked. The Joker chuckled a bit. "Wait, what are you doing here?"

"I thought you would never ask," said the Joker laughing, "I'm looking for Artemis, have you seen her, hmm?"

"Well, it's 4pm, she is probably starting her first day at work. I just finished mine an hour ago so, yea. If you want her you will have to go find her." The Joker took a step forward. Joey took one back. He didn't want the Joker to know that he was scared but was failing miserably. The Joker's grinned even wider and pulled the knife out of his purple coat pocket. "Well," he said menacingly, "I guess I will, uh, start with you then."

"Start what," asked Joey nervously. The Joker took another step forward and Joey ran for it. The Joker was quick though, he grabbed Joey's shirt and pulled him back, throwing him to the floor and sticking the knife in his foot. Joey gave out a loud scream. He couldn't move.

Joker came forward and slowly and painfully pulled the knife out. Joey clenched his eyes shut in pain. He didn't make a sound though. When the Joker finally got it out Joey jumped on his good foot and ran for the kitchen knife. Joker took his hand and slammed it into the counter before Joey let go. Joey had an idea and went for it. He knocked the Joker in the nuts, punched him in the nose, and ran for the front door. The Joker held onto his nose for a moment before pursuing him as if he were pray.

Joey soared down the stares to the basement, it seemed to be the laundry room. He went to a corner and jumped behind two washers hiding for dear life. Joker came in singing, "Oh, Joey, Joey boy, where did you go," he said while laughing wickedly. Joey didn't so much as breath. He watched the Joker walk around the room for a bit before he started opening the larger dryers and looking behind corners. He walked up to Joey's corner and looked down. Joey looked up and saw the evil smile brighten at the sight of him. Joey shoved himself up aiming to hit the Joker with his head. The Joker expected this and grabbed a hold of him by the hair and drug him out from the corner. Joey struggled to get away but to no avail.

The Joker grabbed him by the arms and shook him violently telling him to stop. Joey obeyed the cold nasally voice. He was violently shaking now and feeling a bit nauseated. "Good boy," said the Joker, "now go to sleep." With that there was a sharp pain and Joey's world went black.

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Joker threw a bucket of water on Joey's head waking him up. Joey looked around the black room in shock. His hands were tied behind his back. He tried moving them but the rope cut into his wrists. "What do you want," he asked angrily.

The Joker had a look of surprise on his face, Joey could tell he wasn't really surprised, he was just humoring himself. "Why, I just want you to know that you are welcome in my family anytime." With that he ducked Joey's head in another bucket of water and held it there until bubbles came up. He pulled Joey's head back up and Joey choked violently. When he finally caught his breath he felt his head go up again and quickly held his breath, he was ready this time, what he didn't expect was the Joker had held his head under even longer.

Finally after five or six times Joey was ready to crack with any and all information he had. "The remote is under the couch, I'm sorry I just love Comedy Central so much!" Under again. "I was the one that put the frog in the teachers desk, I didn't know she was allergic to scales!" Under again. "I set my grandma's house on fire, she is just so hateful to me!" Finally the Joker stopped. Joey was close to tears, he couldn't take anymore. He continued to spill out all of his deepest secrets of things he had done but lied about. Dad's broken car window, mom's missing engagement ring he stole and gave to another girl, Artemis's missing belt he had accidentally broke in half and it was her favorite belt, anything and everything until finally the Joker had had enough. This was turning into torture for himself.

"My dad doesn't understand me," cried Joey, "he doesn't understand my teen angst and that I hate that he works all the time."

"Alright, uh, that's enough," he growled. He knocked Joey out again and watched him for a moment. The Joker liked him better unconscious, but he couldn't continue doing that he would eventually make him brain damaged. He needed him to crack, not go retarded.

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Damian came home around 6pm. He walked in singing along to his ipod and dancing.

Say a colt 45 and
two zig zags
baby thats all we need
we can go to the bar
count the dawgs
smoke that tumble weed
as the marijuana burn
we can take our turn
singin' them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong
like Cheech and Chong
say it takes from here to Hong Kong
so Roll roll roll my joint
pick out the seeds and stilfs
feelin' high as hell
flyin' through Pondale
skatin' on beggin' riffs
so roll roll the 83'
cadillac coup de ville
if my tapes and my cd's just don't sell
i bet my caddy will

His amazing singing was put on halt when he caught sight of Joey. He was sitting in a corner rocking back and forth with a pipe in his hand. Damian slowly walked over to him. "Joey," he said slowly, "are you okay man?" Joey just shook his head. "What happened buddy?"

"Water was so cold," he said. He was soaking wet. Damian went to go get a towel and helped his friend dry off.

"Okay, slow down, take a deep breath," he said. Suddenly Joey burst out in tears. Damian was shocked, in all the years the two had known each other this was the very first time he had ever seen Joey cry. He took a lot, a lot more then he should, but he did.

"We shouldn't have gone to get her," he mumbled, "it sounds like I'm a bad friend and I feel terrible for it but we should have left it to the police. He got me man, he got me! He is coming for Artemis and probably you next." Damian took the card clipped to Joey's shirt. It was another Joker card. He threw it on the table next to the other two. Three cards in less then 24 hours. Damian got up to go get Joey a drink of water but when he turned on the sink Joey started freaking out.

"No, stop it, stop the fucking water! NO MORE WATER PLEASE!" Damian was so shocked he dropped it on the floor. Joey watched as the glass shattered and the water spilled on the floor everywhere. He suddenly off in another world. Damian crept back toward Joey and watched him stare off into space.

Joey was brought back to when the Joker woke him and they were back in the apartment.

"Just remember," said the Joker, "whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you stranger." He laughed and turned to leave. Before doing so he turned to the sink and turned it on so the water would just drip out of the head of it. Joey watched it closely as the words danced in his head. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stranger.

Damian waved his hand in Joeys face. Joey suddenly got his reflexes back as he grabbed a hold of Damian's hand and held it still as tight as he could. Damian felt the flow to his hand stop and tried to pry the hand off. Joey had lost his ever loving mind. Whatever The Joker did to him, it was bad. Damian finally freed himself and walked out side for a moment. He walked down the street and saw the Joker standing at the corner. Damian stopped, he was still here, where ever Joey was he had just gotten back from there. The Joker turned around and saw Damian standing there. Damian's heart was pumping as the Joker walked over to him.

"What did you do to Joey," he asked, his voice shakey.

"Taught him a good lesson, uh, one I will teach you in time, but not today, I have other things to do, by the way, where is Artemis at, hmm?"

"Don't you come near any of us," said Damian barely above a whisper. The Joker walked closer to Damian, he had to look up to the boy as he was freakishly tall. He laughed a bit in Damian's face.

"What are you going to do about it," he said pulling a knife out and sticking it in Damian's side.

"Patients is a virtue you know," he hissed in Damian's ear. With that the Joker turned around and left. Damian fell to the sidewalk and watched him go. This was defiantly a bad idea. He had to get the other two out of here before the Joker got Artemis and aimed for him.

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I promised you a longer chapter and I failed. I'm a failure! So deal with it!