Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A/N: The smirks are set to this time-tested tune: DuhDuhDuh Da DUH (SMIRK smirk SMIRK smirk).

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You walk up to the door with the new sign that proclaims "Harry Potter Anonymous." You weren't quite sure whether to come back when you realized that the fee you paid is non-refundable.

You are about to turn the doorknob when you hear a commotion behind you. You turn around and see a cringing figure in basketball shorts surrounded by a crowd of teenage girls with pitchforks. "All I said was that the characters in your fanfiction didn't have chemistry," he protests weakly before he is enveloped by the crowd.

You shrug and enter the room. The setup is the same as last week's, but there are less people. You ignore the stack of nametags and "accidentially" knock them to the ground. Taking a seat as far away from the man at the desk as is possible, you end up next to Helen. You notice that she is the only one wearing a nametag.

"Now that you've finished revising the fanfictions that we wrote last week..." says the man at the desk; then he notices you. "You're late," he tells you. You shrug. You have "last week's story" i.e. the one you wrote in the car, causing you to be late.

"Okay, I'm going to need a volunteer to read their story," says the white-bearded man. When no one volunteers, he sees Helen scratching her neck. "Thank you for volunteering!" he says to Helen. Helen sighs, then picks up her paper.

"I made some changes to last week's fanfiction," she says. You wonder what they are and realize you said that out loud when she answers.

"I changed the point of view."

--Cue parody--

Hello. My name is Draco Malfoy. And before we get this fic on the road I need to establish one thing. I AM HOT. And damn sexy. Got that?

Draco Malfoy is sitting at the Slytherin table looking very hot. Oh, and discussing how he didn't support the Dark Lord with the almost as hot Blaise Zabini. Did we mention that Draco was hot?

Then suddenly, Blaise Zabini whispers, "Look at the entrance." Draco Malfoy turn around and sees Ginny Weasley walking in. "Wow," he thinks. "She's almost as hot as I am."

Draco smirks. His goal in life is to break the world record of smirks. Now he's off to Potions class. Oh no! He's late. Crash! He bumps into Ginny Weasley. This is usually the point where he starts fantasizing about her. While being very hot.

In Potions class we find out that he's been paired with Ginny. Cue insults! "Weasel" SMIRK smirk SMIRK smirk. "Ferret" SMIRK smirk SMIRK smirk.

This is the point where we learn about how Draco is known as a player. But somehow, he's become obsessed with Ginny Weasley. Of course it's not lust! Of course it's not stalking! Next you'll be saying he has a Dark Mark.

He spends lunch staring at Ginny. Blaise Zabini makes fun of him. Pansy Parkinson starts yelling, "Draco, why don't you love me?" Draco remembers all the girls he's "dated" and decides that they were all boring; that they are not holding his interest like Ginny. Extra brownie points if he decides that he's in love with her already after a record total of 2 hours.

Due to his obsession-ness, Draco decide to walking in the corridors during the night. He sees Ginny and starts following her. Suddenly she hears him and spins around. Note that he is hot at this point. It is integral to the plot. (Reader: Plot? What plot?)

Oh no, she going to scream? What can he do? He silences her....by kissing her. Silencing charm? Baseball bat? What's that supposed to mean?

Ginny runs for the common room and Draco spends he night thinking about Ginny Weasley. The next day they bump into each other outside the locker room and start snogging.

At the next meal Draco sees Ginny talking to Harry Potter; feeling...er...protective....Draco punches Harry, yelling "Get away from my girlfriend!" This causes all the Weasleys to attack Draco.

Eventually, everyone decides to leave them alone because they are oh so happy together. Draco is hot. They kiss. SMIRK smirk SMIRK smirk.

---End parody---

You start to laugh and Helen's face falls. You stifle the giggles, but it is too late. After seeing everyone glare at you, you mutter, "Bathroom..." and flee the room. Behind you, you hear a voice say faintly, "Class dismissed until next week."

A/N: Any ideas on other fanfiction cliches to parody?

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