Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A/N: Yes, I know. I did not update for ages. Real life started again, and it took over. But I am back, with the final installment. Also, extra special thanks to ChocolatStar, who gave me the inspiration for this chapter!

You sit in the tree by the building and can't stop shivering. It's 12 am and you forgot to bring a sweater. As you sit there and watch, the final light goes off. You take a deep breath and grab your bag.

The door is locked, but the window on the right side is not. As you pull yourself through it, you pause and ask yourself if this is worth it. It is. It is for the sake of humanity.

The cubicles are dark and you try to find the right one, cursing yourself for not bringing a flashlight. Finally, after a lot of stumbling followed by anxious glances at the door, you reach the cubicle labeled Helen. You know she leaves her laptop there overnight. You put the laptop on the desk and reach inside your bag for the tool.

---

The next day, you head off again to a grimy looking office building. You left your car at the garage, and spent the last two hours walking here. You solemnly swear to yourself that you will never trust the repair guy again and idly remark on how it looks so different on foot.

As you reach the surprisingly clean door marked "Harry Potter Anonymous" you take a deep breath and then push open the door. As you walk into the room and sit down, Helen comes running in, panting.

"Am I late?," she gasps, then, seeing you, she takes the seat next to you. You avoid her gaze. "The most horrible thing happened to me yesterday. Someone broke into my office, " and starting to sniffle, continues with "they trashed my whole cubicle. Not only that," she is crying now, "they destroyed my laptop. With all my stories on it!"

You pat her back awkwardly as she continues to blubber. After about five minutes of this, she calms down and the white-haired man starts the class.

"Today, we are going to try something new," he says, smiling. "I want you to pick two characters and write about a pivotal moment in their lives." He starts to gesture excitedly. "Not only that, but I want you to write it in a new format, something you've never done!"

You nod, and get your piece of paper. You are going to show everyone what good writing is.

When the hour is up, you're ready to show everyone that you are a great writer. "Helen," says the old man. "Why don't you read?"

---

Draco: Betterthanyou

Hermione: Bookobsessed

Harry: Boywhowhined

Ron: Gitwhowhined

Betterthanyou has logged on.

Gitwhowhined has logged on.

Gitwhowhined: Draco.

Betterthanyou: Weasely.

Bookobsessed has logged on.

Bookobsessed: Draco-buddy!

Betterthanyou: Hermione-buddy! I need to tell you something!

Gitwhowhined: What the hell can you tell her...Ferret?

Bookobsessed: Oh, Ron don't say that. I know he was horrible when we were kids, but he's changed!

Gitwhowhined: Oh really?

Betterthanyou: Hermione, I need to tell you something.

Gitwhowhined: Oh, really? Well, if you need to say something, I'm going to go get Harry.

Gitwhowhined has logged off.

Bookobsessed: Oh, don't listen to him Draco. Remember the day we first became friends? You picked up that pencil of mine and threw it at Neville, and I knew then and there you were a gentleman at heart.

Betterthanyou: Hermione...

Bookobsessed: And don't forget that time when I bumped into you in the hallway and you said hi and glared and I knew you were the nicest person on Earth!

Betterthanyou: Hermione...

Bookobsessed: Or that time you beat up Ron because he bumped into me accidentally and right then I knew you were so chivalrous!

Gitwhowhined has logged on.

Boywhowhined has logged on.

Betterthanyou: Hermione, I love you!

Gitwhowhined: What?!!

Bookobsessed: Oh, that's so sweet. I love you too!

Gitwhowhined: WHAT?!!!!

Boywhowhined: Ron, is this all you brought me to see? Because if this is all, I'm gonna go snog Ginny some more.

Gitwhowhined: WHAAAAT?!!!

Boywhowhined has logged off.

Gitwhowhined has logged off.

Betterthanyou: Now that we love each other, let's go get married tomorrow.

Bookobsessed: Hmm...Okay!

Betterthanyou: Yay!!!

Betterthanyou has logged off.

Bookobsessed has logged off.

---

You wake up in the hospital. The nurse stops you when you try to get up.

"Hold it there, buddy," she says. "You've been in a coma for the last week."

"A week?!" you yell.

"A whole week, " she says, smiling. "Apparently it had something to do with a fan-something overdose. I think you need to rest it easy for a while. Oh, and there is someone here to see you."

Helen walks into the room. She barely takes a step in before the flowerpot grazes her head and crashes into the wall. She runs away, screaming something about crazy people who throw deadly objects.

"And don't come back!" you yell after her.

And we reach the end. Did you love it? Hate it? Think it's fantastically fantopulishnish? Review!