Kahlan watched the rain dripped down from the roof of the inn. It was the only distraction the place offered, and sleep felt as far from her as daylight was.
Well, at least we're dry.
Though the thought didn't cover the chill the night provided. She pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders.
Nor did the inn, for that matter.
The inn, a small sad looking thing on the side of a road, made no effort to hide the fact that its owners did not care very much for it. Normally adverse to such a shady looking place, once the rain started the group had little choice but to seek better shelter. To Kahlan's relief, the owners were kind, if overly cautious, people who lived in a small shack behind the inn. After some prodding, they agreed to provide them with what they needed.; a meal that wasn't all meat for once and a few more blankets.
But that was were the niceties ended. The inn was made up of two large rooms that could fit a dozen travelers each. Not much other than cots and mattresses and a table was contained in their room. Kahlan had taken up a matt by the window while Zedd and Cara took up opposite corners of the room. With no one else in the inn, it didn't much matter where they slept.
Zedd gave a loud snore then grunted as he moved around on his bed.
But what I would give for some privacy.
She thought of the baths and rooms at the Confessor's school, and it made her more than a bit homesick for her old pupil days. White marble and rooms with fireplaces. Books laid out by the bedside table to read in case sleep was not forthcoming.
She closed her eyes,.
Stop that. Stop thinking. Just stop thinking and feeling. Let it all go down inside, control your emotions. You are here for a reason, don't let these small details get in the way of that reason.
Behind her, a door opened and a cold breeze chilled her back. She didn't bother turning around, and instead pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. Boots on the wood floor thumped behind her, before the person wearing them took them off and dropped them, along with his coat and vest. Another breeze of air kept up her neck before a small "criiiick" rang out and the door was shut.
Closing her eyes, she heard Richard move around. Or, more precisely, she heard his clothes shift as his body moved. Normally a silent creature, Richard could be heard when he wanted to. Clearly, this was one of those times. He was coming to her, she knew, and she suppressed a shudder that had nothing to do with the cold.
"Kahlan," his soft whisper was right by her ear. He had joined her on the floor by the window.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his hand reach for her shoulder. She turned toward him. His face was half hidden in darkness, as was hers, but she didn't need light to know his features.
"So, was she here?" She whispered.
He nodded, his head low. "The owners say they saw a woman in white leather ride through here not long ago. She skipped this inn to go to the town a league or so from here. Which means she was either looking for a nicer place to stay, or…"
"She was looking for a disguise, or a fresh horse, or someone she could bend to her will,"
"Probably all three. Which are easy enough to come by for a mord'sith. And, if I know her, she'll also be looking for some way to read that compass,"
She could feel how miserable he was. Though he was manipulated, chained, and then dead, he still took responsibility for losing the compass. Nothing Zedd or Kahlan could say would change that, so they didn't say much to him at all. Cara took the other approach and told him with a stern tone, "You know, had you just listened to me, Lord Rahl, we would not be in this mess,"
He moved his hand off her shoulder and slid it down her arm to her hand to hold. Though the move was innocent, it had a tingling consequence that made Kahlan want to move away from Richard.
But I can't. I want to, but I can't.
Richard brought up his other hand to their joined ones. He then cradled her hand in between his. She could feel the roughness of his fingertips as he rubbed and massaged her hand. Kahlan watched, transfixed, as he bent his head down to their mingled fingers and breathed hot air on them.
"Your hand is like ice, Kahlan," he looked up at her. "Give me the other one,"
It was as though her body had its own agenda, for she gave her other hand so freely, despite wanting it to fight. But the hand didn't even so much as curl into a fist. All she wanted to do was to tell him to stop and to go to sleep. Leave her cold and unmoved, for anything was better then what she was feeling now.
He rubbed her hands and brought them up to his mouth to breath on him. Which was a cruel thing to do, for Kahlan's eyes followed. Yet he didn't notice, concentrating on rubbing the pad of his thumb along her palms. The movements were slow, trying to ease the tension and cold away.
"You know," he whispered, "I think I can feel it,"
She didn't want to know, for as long as he didn't do anything else tonight, there was control.
Spirits, but I have to know.
"Feel what?"
"Your magic," he leaned in closer to her so that their voices wouldn't carry over to the others. "I think I can feel it, its…not like before, when I was under Annabelle's Confession. It feels different, I don't know how, but it seems…"
"Sweeter, almost. If I concentrate, it feels warm…like small sparks from a fire," His brown eyes looked at her. "Does that make any sense?"
"No, not to me,"
"I suppose not. But," he finally released her hands and laid them on her lap, "It's you, like your own signature on your magic. There's so little that I never noticed before," His mind was thinking something, and his body was ahead of his mind, already putting itself in position. Kahlan knew she'd have to stop him before he realized what it was he wanted to do.
He knows better, she thought. I know better.
"It's your soul, though, so I guess it would be you,"
That caught her off guard. "What?"
"A confessor's magic is tied to her spirit, right? That's what Zedd said, so that means that what I'm feeling…" he didn't finish his thought, his voice drifted off as he looked at her like she was a puzzle.
A part of her soul that can be felt through her magic. The thought of that was unsettling to her. It felt too bare, too much like she was naked, wrapped up only in a thin blanket with a loose string. And he found the string and was gently pulling at it, slowly revealing her underneath.
She shivered.
"Or it could be nothing," She watched as his eyes followed a slow trail from her hands to her forearms. Then up from her forearms to her shoulder. They glazed across her chest and she couldn't help but take in a quick breath. It made her chest rise and fall rapidly, which he saw clearly. Up her neck they went, until they reached her own eyes.
I wanted him to see what he does to me, she realized. I want him to watch.
He leaned in to her, his mouth right by her ear, "But I doubt that," His smell filled the space, his physical presence so close. All it would require would be a tiny movement on her part, the smallest of head turns. She could say later that it was an accident, a surprise like all the other times that he had kissed her.
For once, I want to be the one to start.
No.
No. I can't.
Control, Kahlan, control. Please, don't do this, not here, not now.
She turned her head away from his. "Goodnight, Richard,"
The spell was broken, and Richard realized how close he was to her. He straightened himself up, and recoiled back into his own area. It was all stiff movements, as though he was a puppet on strings. Strings that had been pulled tightly to make him obey the only rules he wanted to break. It was not easy, but done anyways.
"Goodnight, Kahlan,"
She laid down on her mattress and watched the rain out of the corner of her eye. She listened as he moved away, the clothes shifting against his body until he too was on his mattress. But he wasn't asleep. He wouldn't sleep, she knew, at least for a while. Instead, he would stare at the ceiling and think about how to cut the strings of control that held them so far apart. He would be hopeful for them both.
But she would not be consumed with those ideas. At last, sleep picked at her eyelids, drawing them closed. Her lungs gave out one last sigh and then darkness consumed her.
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTS characters.
Author's note: Next chapter up tomorrow.
