Angels Cry

I was inspired by the song Angels Cry, which was written by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Every time it played in my head yesterday, I pictured Ron and Hermione. Please review. For me? :)



It was a starry, cloudless night. The moon was shining down on the waters of the loch that surrounded Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Other than the occasional cricket chirping, it was relatively quiet. It would have been a peaceful night, if not for the exchange that was about to occur between the girl under a tree at the shoreline, and the boy walking slowly towards her.

The girl was sitting with her back against the tree, playing with her long, brown, windblown hair as she switched stares between the reflection of the stars and moon on the water, and up into the heavens themselves. It seemed as though she couldn't pick which one to look at. As she stared at the sky for a long while, she would suddenly get a frustrated look on her beautiful face, give an aggravated grunt, and with a hard shake of her head, move the direction of her gaze to the loch.

The boy observed this episode once, although it had happened several times, as he walked towards the tree and the girl under it. He stared at her as if he never wanted to look at anything else for the rest of his life, as if she was the most amazing, beautiful thing in the world, as if she was the only he was seeing, as if he was memorizing her. Then suddenly, before he knew it, he was only mere feet behind her.

"Hermione." He said in a quiet breathless voice. The girl gave a start, then turned and gave him an annoyed look, which he didn't seem to notice. "You're here. I wasn't sure if you would come."

"I almost didn't. But..." She gestured with her arm as if to say "here I am."

They stared at each other for a few moments, not having anything to say, trying to figure out what the other was thinking, feeling.

He searched her eyes, looking for… something. He didn't really know what he was looking for. But whatever it was he couldn't see it. She had her mask on, figuratively speaking. He knew what the blank, unmoving face she was presenting to him was hiding from him; he'd seen it too many times before. There were pain, and tears, threatening to fall at a moment's weakness. There were moments that had been lonely, and tortured. This was what she was hiding.

She stared into his deep blue eyes, seeing stormy, turbulent oceans. She realized that they were dark, darker than she'd ever seen them. She came to grips with the reality that he was hurting and was in as much pain as she was. That softened her. But only a little, she thought as fast as the first attack on her shield had come.

It could happen again, you know. Ah yes, there's the voice, the sensible side of her. She had just started hearing it. It had made itself be known five hours after Hermione had seen……. But never mind that.

It appeared right when Ron had started banging on her door and begging to be let in, right as Hermione had considered opening it to him. This voice was Hermione's savior. It protected her from the pain, from the possibility of more pain.

I know... Hermione answered. But I miss him so much. Can't I just-

NO! The voice roared inside her head. Stay strong. Don't back down. Don't let it hurt. He's weak, just like all men are weak and susceptible to girls like Lavender.

You're right. But it's just so hard to remember the pain when I look in his eyes. His clear, breathtakingly blue eyes…

Then don't look! There are plenty of other things to look at!

Hermione looked away from Ron's eyes; she stared across the loch, not really seeing anything.

Ron saw the mask falter briefly; he drew a quick breath as hope soared, even at such a little thing.

Blimey, if that's all it takes to get my hopes up I'm in for a lot hurt if she doesn't take me back…

He sat down next to her, as far away as he could stand and, putting his hand under her chin, turned her face towards his, making sure her eyes met his.

"Hermione, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I still can't believe I went back on my promise." He said, trying to pull the mask away more.

"Ron…" She says and quickly stifles the pain that comes from saying his name, as it rips through her.

I thought I told you not to say his name! You know it only makes it worse.

"You've said that before." She said forlornly, trying to gather herself together.

"But each time I say it you never forgive me. So I have to keep saying it, you see?" Ron replied with vigor, desperate for her to understand. But when she made no response, he sighed heavily, his shoulders drooped. "Please, Hermione, I want to explain."

"I don't want to hear it! I don't think I can..."

"Please. It's hard to explain, but I'll try if you let me." He sits down next to her, as far away as he can stand. "You wouldn't have come if you didn't want to know, I'm sure of that."

She shook her head, holding up a finger, barely saying "Give me a minute."

Ron stares at the wretched, miserable girl sitting beside him. The girl whose heart he had broken. And because of that, his own was torn to shreds. He couldn't bear it, he hated himself. After that party, every time he looked in the mirror, he looked away in disgust.

You bastard! You broke her heart! How could you?! Was it worth it?! Well was it?! He screamed inside his brain as he had for the past week at least 100 times. If any Legilimens had been poking around in his head they would immediately leap out and vow to themselves to not ever dare go back in that tortured head again.

He heard her make the choking noise again and swiveled his head towards her, but her face was still a mask. That tore him up even more. He knew she had probably made even worse sounds when she was alone. It killed him to even think of it.

He felt the tears welling, and this it was his turn to choke back a sob.

To try and think of something besides Hermione crying, Ron looked up and to the stars. He imagined that up there, in the heavens, the stars were colliding with each other, he could see them, the magnificent, giant spheres colliding and exploding, leaving nothing but millions of specks dust and numerous chunks of small and mediocre space rock in their wake. He knew that up there, in heaven, all the angels were pealing with shouts of anguish and distress. All because Hermione, beautiful, perfect, pure, innocent Hermione Jean Granger made each and every tortured, agonizing sound betraying her pain.

And it was all his fault. It was his fault Hermione Jean Granger, was heartbroken. It was his fault the stars were colliding, his fault the angels were crying. He hurt her. He hurt the one he loved. Hermione was his everything; she was his only reason to still be alive. And he had crushed her.

He was crying almost uncontrollably now, he somehow managed to hold back the deep racking sobs he felt coming up from his chest. He had had loads of practice while being in the same room as the other boys he roomed with, he had had to hold back some sobs then.

He hated being seen crying. He thought of it as a sign of weakness, though Hermione told him it wasn't, and that he could cry in front of her anytime he needed to. He didn't think that held up here, now. She was obviously still angry with him. Still hurt and betrayed.

It had been one night. One party. One stupid girl. One stupid fight with Hermione. Ron couldn't even remember what they had fought about. It seems so trifle and meaningless now. He had been hurt, angry.

Hermione was ignoring him, off in another corner of the room chatting and laughing with her friends. Ron was brooding, sitting in the big, overstuffed chair, staring into the fire. Suddenly, something made him look up and towards the area where Hermione was. He saw him, Cormac. Ron had to hold himself back from leaping up and charging towards the big brute. Then he saw Hermione flirting with the git, Hermione giggling, and hitting McLaggen on the arm.

That was it. Ron couldn't take any more. He charged out of the room, up the stairs, and into his dark dormitory. He went face-first onto his bed and buried his head in the pillow. He was laying like that for a while, letting the hurt and betrayal and anger flow and charge through his veins.

Then he felt a hand on his back. He felt hope surge through him, but when he turned it was Lavender's face above him. He turned back to his pillow and mumbled a "shove off." But Lavender was not to be put off so easily.

She murmured words about how terrible Hermione was acting, how Ron didn't deserve this, how Lavender herself would never do that to Ron, all while running her hand up and down his back.

Ron enjoyed these words, he enjoyed her touch, he found himself imagining Hermione doing giving him a back rub. Suddenly he turned and pulled Lavender to him, all while keeping his eyes closed, picturing Hermione was the one whose lips were pressed against his, it was Hermione's lovely body he was running his hands over, as he had done so many times before.

Even as he was snogging Lavender, he realized that this did not feel like Hermione's body, it did not feel like her lips, and that was definitely not Hermione's hair. But at the moment he didn't care. So he kept snogging Lavender. Because it made the pain go away, it made him forget Hermione's betrayal. To him, in that moment, it was Hermione he was snogging. So he didn't stop.

Hermione had seen Ron storm upstairs, seen the hurt in his face when she touched Cormac's arm, but she stubbornly stayed down in the common room for a few minutes longer, wanting to make him suffer more even for a little while. She missed Lavender heading up the stairs, missed the search Lavender did, making sure no one was looking. For all Hermione knew, Lavender could have been waiting for Ron, or Ron could have made sure Lavender was waiting for him.

That was how she found him, snogging Lavender. This was what had hurt her so much. This was what made Ron, five hours later, after recovering from his anger and betrayal and jealousy, bang his fists on Hermione's door desperately begging her to let him in, let him explain. That was when "sensible Hermione" had shown her prudent face, telling Hermione not to let Ron in, not to open the door to hurt.

This was a week ago. During this worst week of Ron and Hermione's lives, Ron had constantly tried to persuade Hermione during breakfast, between classes, when he caught her in the common room, but it was to no avail. She would just ignore him no matter what he did.

So he decided to try a less direct approach. He sent her a note by way of owl, asking her to meet him under the tree by the shoreline at 11 on Thursday night. And here she was. He could hardly believe it. He grinned, using this as a distraction to stop the tears and wipe excess salt water off his face.

Hermione couldn't believe she was here. He had sent her a note, begging her to meet him there, under the tree. At first her immediate thought was a definite no, or rather, her sensible voice said Never.

But she couldn't deny him, no matter what sensible her said. Even after…. After…. Oh God! She chokes back another sob, just barely stopping it. She had seen him. Seen him snogging some other girl on his bed. Ron and that...that…. girl! Ugh. Even now, in the worst moment of her life, she couldn't bring herself to swear. How pathetic.

She didn't know what to do now that they were there, sitting under the tree. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to hear what happened that night. She didn't want to hear about how Lavender got Ron to snog her.

Lavender… That name made her shudder with anger, with hatred. She hated that girl. Ever since she and Ron had "dated". That girl was the epitome of easy. She was a floozy, a flirt, a…… Say it, Hermione, say it! Whore!

"Ha!" Hermione laughed triumphantly, startling Ron from his own thoughts.

"What?! What are you laughing for?" Ron demanded, feeling afraid that Hermione might be going off the deep end.

"Oh, nothing." She smiled slyly, very proud of herself. But then she looked at Ron, and her smile was wiped from her face as she remembered why she called Lavender a whore.

"Why, Ron? Tell me that. How could you do it? I never thought you would…" Her voice trailed off as she felt her mask slipping and tears starting to fill her eyes.

Ah here we go, here comes the hard part. Ron thought to himself.

"Oh 'Mione. I never thought I would either. I can't tell you how much I hate myself now. I can't tell you how much I can't even stand looking in a mirror and seeing my face. I call myself horrible names whenever I think about how much I miss you.

She looked at him with tears silently welling up in her eyes, hearing her sensible voice screaming; Don't! He'll hurt you! Do you not feel that pain?! That horrible, terrible agony blazing through you?!?! Then whispered, despite the pain that was indeed beating her down: "Tell me what happened."

"Hermione-

"Just tell me!" She said in a louder and more forceful voice, disturbing the quiet that surrounded them.

"Okay! Okay!" Ron said quickly.

"Did you see me go up the stairs?" Hermione nodded hurriedly, urging him to go on and get it over with. "Well, when I got up to my bed, she came just a few minutes later. She touched me and I thought it was your hand, but when I turned around I saw it was her and told her to shove off. But she didn't. She started talking to me and telling me…. Er… things."

"What things?"

"Er… I don't think you really want to hear-"

"Just tell me, Ron!" Hermione almost yelled again.

"Fine… She told me that you shouldn't have been flirting with that git McLaggen while dating me, that I deserved better, and that she would never do that to me." He saw Hermione wince through every single one of those, and hurried on to the end. "All while rubbing my back, you know I like that," Hermione gave one short, quick nod acknowledging that yes, she did know, trying to hide how much she wanted to run inside and perform Sectum sempra on the whore. "and then I started imagining it was you. You rubbing my back and telling me how you loved being my girlfriend and would never flirt with the big git, and me imagining how I got so lucky. I deluded myself, 'Mione, I actually convinced myself it was you, not Lavender doing all that. So I turned and started snogging her. I remember thinking, 'this doesn't feel like Hermione, this doesn't taste like Hermione, this is NOT Hermione's hair. But I didn't stop, I just wanted it to be you badly, and… well… That's it. You walked in."

Oh Gods, that hurts. He wanted it to be me. But instead I was downstairs flirting with Cormac McLaggen. I hate Lavender Brown!

Don't blame Lavender, Hermione. You know it was really your fault. You're the one who was flirting with McLaggen.

Okay!! I get it! It's my fault! All my fault!! I hate myself! I'm horrible! I'm a terrible girlfriend!!

Ron had been staring at the loch while saying all this, only looking back to Hermione when she nodded her head, then reverted his gaze back to the water, but now he turned his head to look at her.

Hermione sat there, staring at him, tears flowing down her face.

"Hermione!" He yelped, putting his arms around her and pulling her in close. She gave in and turned her head so it rested on his chest, she wrapped her arms around him, needing something to hold onto.

"Please don't cry, 'Mione. I'm so, so sorry. This is all my fault. Don't cry, don't cry. Shhhh. I love you, I'm so sorry. Don't cry, 'Mione. Oh Hermione…"

He put his cheek down on top of her head, as he felt more tears starting to flow down his face.

Aw bloody hell! Again?! Ah well, Hermione won't mind.

Hermione felt the cold wetness falling through her hair. She felt better knowing he was crying too, even though she didn't deserve it. How selfish… But she didn't move. She felt safe, happy, nestled in his arms, against his chest.

They sat there together like that for the longest time.

When the tears finally stopped, Hermione became aware of Ron's heart beating against her ear, of how strong his arms and back back felt, of how warm she was, of how she fit perfectly and how she never wanted to move again, and of how her sensible voice was screaming louder than before!

NO!!! You're letting him back in!!! Don't!! He'll do it again!! No, no, no, no, no!!! Lavender will get him again, and if it's not her, it'll be someone else!

Hermione let go of Ron, and, breaking his hold on her easily since she surprised him, jumped up and stood in front of him, panting with wide eyes.

Ron was immediately surprised and he felt hurt fill him, as he looked up at her with wide eyes. He'd thought that they were having a moment. She'd felt so good in his arms, she'd felt perfect, her arms around him made him feel safe and secure, he'd not wanted to move at all. But then she'd broken away. What had he done wrong?

"Hermione? What did I do?" Hurt and confusion filled in eyes and came out in his voice, as he stood up, taking a step toward her.

She winced at his tone, and stepped back as he moved to her, but she was angry still, she needed to let it out, vent. He hurt her and he need to know just how much pain she was in.

"You snogged Lavender! You betrayed me! You broke my heart! Now every time I'm near you and you beg me to talk I have this stupid voice in my head screaming at me not to let you back in because you'll just hurt me again! This is all your fault, Ronald! We were so happy! How could you let one stupid little fight get taken so far!? How?! We fight all the time! What was so different about this one!? I can't even remember what it was about. Tell me, Ron! Make me understand! Hermione screamed all this at him, disturbing the tranquility this time, without a doubt.

It was a good thing I made this meeting place pretty far away from Hogwarts. Ron thought to himself, ruefully.

"Hermione, you're right." Ron said calmly but wretchedly, he couldn't bring himself to yell at her, he knew she had every right and he had none. "I'm an arse, a huge git, even bigger than McLaggen. You're right, we were happy. I was amazingly happy, maybe even giddy. But I've never thought I deserved you. I've never understood why you loved me, and every time we fought, it reminded me that I don't deserve you. When I saw you flirting with McLaggen, I thought, 'Oh bloody hell, she's figured it out. She knows I'm not good enough for her.' So I stormed off. When Lavender came and I imagined it was you, I couldn't stop snogging her because if I did it would have hurt, hurt worse than anything else I've ever felt in my life..." Ron stopped, think about that last sentence. "Bloody hell, Hermione, I'm so pathetic. I'm such a coward. I can't bloody see how you could have possibly seen anything in me at all."

Hermione gaped at him with exasperation written all over her face and her mouth wide open for about ten seconds. Then, quite unexpectedly and suddenly, she started yelling at him furiously:

"Ronald Bilius Weasely!!!" She shrieked. "How could you possibly put yourself down like that!! You're amazing! You're brave! You've fought off Death Eaters, survived hundreds of giant spiders attacking you, sacrificed yourself, did all you could to save your sister, been loyal to Harry no matter what people thought! You are one of the bravest people I know! And how could you question me or my feelings?! I know exactly what I want and exactly what I need!! And let me tell you what I want! I want eyes as blue as the sky, hair that reminds me of fire, and freckles! I need someone who knows how to relax and just have fun and get me to take a chill pill, someone who gets me, someone who knows the real me! I need you, Ronald! Just you! It's only ever been you! You're all I ever wanted!

When Hermione finished yelling all this she stared, panting, at Ron, anger and defiance written all over her face, but also love. He breathed in sharply, amazed at how much he saw in her eyes as she stared at him. He'd always known how beautiful she was when she was angry, but he'd never seen her like this, with love and anger in one look, and to Ron Weasely, it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. No one had ever looked at him like that, and he knew she was the only one he wanted looking at him like that.

He took two long steps towards her, closing the distance between them fast. He took her face in his hands, bent his head down and kissed her. He kissed her in a way he'd never done before, he put everything he felt into that kiss, all his love, his anger, his pain, his apology, everything. He moved his hands and wound his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She responded and put her arms his neck, pulling him closer, kissing him back with just as much fervor as he was.

Hermione couldn't hear the voice. It was gone. Kissing Ron was the icing on the cake, sensible Hermione couldn't take that much emotion. Hermione just focused on Ron, on his hands under her shirt, on the skin on her back, his lips on hers. She moved her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Putting everything she felt at that moment into the movement and force of her lips.

He gripped her sides tightly, feeling the warm skin there. He pulled away from her mouth and put his lips to her jaw, kissing all along it and nipped at earlobe and the tender skin under her ear. She gasped and pulled him closer, tilting her head back. He took this as an invitation to kiss all the way down her neck, taking tiny bites on her collarbone, and back up her throat, all while running his hands up and down her sides, and all over her back.

He felt her skin getting hotter each moment, it felt like fire now. She groaned against him as he pressed his lips to her cheeks, her nose, her eyes, and her forehead. Then he went back to her mouth and ran his tongue along her bottom lip, asking to be let in. She opened her mouth and pressed her tongue to hiss, he groaned from deep in his chest as she simultaneously pushed her hands into his red hair, raking her fingers through it.

Ron fingered her bra snaps, but decided against it. He knew she would regret it later, and this wasn't the time, anyway. They would have plenty of time later.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from her delicious lips, and rested his forehead on hers.

"I love you." He said. "And I am so incredibly sorry, I've never been sorrier about anything else in my life."

"Haha, that I believe." Hermione replied, chuckling.

"Does that mean….?"

"Yes, it does. I forgive you." She smiled into his eyes. It felt so good saying that. "How could I not? You're my only reason for living."

At that, Ron couldn't help but snog her some more, putting all the joy that had welled up in his into it, knowing that if he didn't find an outlet he wouldn't surely burst.

She pulled away this time and said, "I love you too." And the joy that came after she said those words filled her heart and overflowed to fill her entire being. She couldn't stop smiling.

"Oh 'Mione!" He ran his lips up and down her neck, and across her shoulder that had somehow become bare. She whimpered and put her hands up his shirt, feeling his stomach, chest, and back.

When he came up for air he said "I felt so horrible without you. I couldn't eat; I could hardly breathe when I thought about how I might not have you in my life anymore. Time seemed to last forever, I swear, sometimes it felt as though my heart was burning through my chest and I looked to the floor loads, just to make sure. I've never cried so much in my life… I missed you. I felt as though my life had ended and there was no more meaning in it."

Hermione was amazed by this, because that was exactly how it was for her. And she told him so. He grinned and snogged her for a long while, though at first it was a bit difficult with them smiling so much, then said, "Well lucky for you, because I'll never let you get away from me again."

"Oh, Ron." She said, laughing, "I do love you!"

"Love you too, 'Mione." He ducked his head, running his lips across her collarbone.

She took in a deep breath. Oh the things he did to her. She looked up, combed the bright red hair that always fell in front of his eyes away and just stared into them for a while. She felt as though she could see everything he was feeling and thinking. For a while she just saw his love and joy, then she heard a loud rumble and saw his eyes change.

She laughed when he said, "Er… Hermione? I'm starving!"

"Haha, let's go get you something to eat, love." She placed kisses on his neck and nipped at his ear.

When he heard her laugh, he knew the angels weren't crying anymore. In fact, they might just be laughing along with her. He grinned as he looked up into the starry heavens and winked.


What do you think? You like? I've stayed up way too long writing it, so you better. :) Please review!