Alright so I just smoked a couple bowls I watched a bit of Dane Cook and it inspired me to write a part of this chapter. Yes, one part is based off of a Dane Cook spin that I just finished watching! I luv uncut!!!
: It was a pretty long review lol. Yes, batman torture is bloody funny! Ahaha excuse the pun it was not originally intended. It's okay, your secrets safe with me until he gets online and reads that…..but yes it is nice to see even he has a heart. Skidoodle!
Chapter 17
Gordon stood on the roof of the GPD thinking about the night he had so far. It wasn't even close to over yet. As usual Batman was sitting in the shadows watching him. "Gordon," he said. Gordon turned around in shock but sighed in relief seeing him.
"Oh, hi, batman," he said not really caring at the moment.
"The Joker's Ringleader," said Batman. Gordon gave him a look of confusion, "the Joker's circus, the girl seems to be the Ringleader."
"What about her," he asked.
"Does she remind you of the Joker?"
"Well, yea, actually, now that you mention-" He stopped midsentence with sudden realization. "Batman," he said, "has your suit always had grey splotches all over it?" The batman looked at his suit and realized something, the damned bleach!
"Um…erm…uh…YES YES IT HAS SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"Sorry," said Gordon raising his hands in defense, "it's just I have never noticed that or the fact that you wore pink socks is all!"
"THEY AREN'T PINK! They are a very manly light red!"
"But pink is light red-"
"You, you know what…nobody needs you Gordon, you suck as a police officer and you suck at life! Don't believe me, look at where you live, man, look at where you live! I hope you go die somewhere sometimes, I swear to God, I wish you would jump off something! Tasha Bane was right, you can't even check for finger prints! Did you ever think that maybe we can check for finger prints, find out who the Joker is, and just end this!? NOBODY has the same finger prints! Fuck you, commissioner ! Fuck! You!" With that batman made a move to jump out of sight but missed and hit the edge of the roof and fell down bleeding out his mouth.
Gordon watched as he fell to the ground. "Artemis does have a twisted mind, she has the same taste in color that her father had, so what that wasn't anything new." Then he remembered, no one told batman that the Joker was the Ringleaders father! "Damn," he said. He put out his cigarette and walked back inside to continue the investigation on where the Joker's whereabouts were.
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The Joker pulled the van in Artemis's old drive way. He sent them in to get the computer, Marcus, and their possessions that were necessary. Cloths, food, cell phones, not any bullshit like a video game system or a six foot hookah! They all nodded and left quickly and quietly to the house. Damian came out with Marcus tied up who was not being so quiet.
"Where the hell are we going now," he shouted. The Joker started to laugh watching Marcus reluctantly get in the van and even managed to head but Damian in his bad ear. This didn't seem to faze him too much. He hissed a bit but then punched Marcus in the face so hard the man went unconscious. Damian hauled him into the van and set out for his stuff.
He saw Joey leave with computer in hand. It was in a box ready to go and he reluctantly put it on top of Marcus's unconscious body. Artemis then came out with a bag full of food and dropped it on Marcus as well next to the computer. The Joker was up front giggling as each one left. Later they all came out with a bag of some kind holding their cloths and everything else. They all three threw them on top of Marcus and sat down across from him. Artemis looked around.
'Hey," she said, "has anyone seen Marcus? He is here right, cause he isn't in the basement."
"I thought I brought him out first," said Damian also looking around. The Joker was up front laughing hysterically. They all gave him a questioning look but he did not respond. He just started up the car. Joey pulled what looked to be a small zip lock bag and the Joker turned the van off.
"What is that," he asked. Joey pulle dup the bag and showed him. "I told you provisions only."
"Hey! You made me leave the hookah and it wasn't two feet it was three! I am not leaving the weed! If we get pulled over chances at least one person in here will kill the cop, it doesn't fucking matter, I'm not leaving without her!"
"Hey, don't you roll that! No, stop it! Don't you, uh, light that, no, oh you had better not, you fucking bastard!" The Joker jumped from his seat and shot at Joey and held on to his neck. "Don't. You. Enjoy. That." Joey blew the smoke in the Joker's face and he threw Joey at all the stuff on the other side of the van. Damian and Artemis had been laughing uncontrollably at the scene. The Joker looked over at Artemis who was now clutching her ribs in pain. She was happily hurting. A smile tugged at his lips. Ah the laugher of your own child, no other laughter like it. He picked up the joint and made his way up to the drivers seat.
"Hey guys," said Joey trying to get up, "I found Marcus, we didn't leave him, he was just hidden behind the rest of the stuff."
"Oh look at that," said Artemis, "he decided to join us afterall."
"Hey, man, are you smoking that," asked Damian. The Joker waved the already almost joint at them.
"Damn," said Joey shaking his head, "good thing I got another one."
He drove them to another town just outside of Gotham. They drove up to a house out in the middle of nowhere. They pile out and followed the Joker to the front door. He took out a key ring with at least 30 keys on it. Artemis looked up at him in confusion. "Always need a, uh, backup hide out," he instructed. Artemis shrugged and watched him unlock the door. Inside was a dead police man with bits of computer scattered about him. "The, ah, last computer sort of, uh, broke," explained the Joker. "Hey," he yelled, "I, uh, told you morons to get rid of the body before I got back." Two men quickly removed the body. "Take this one while you are at it," he said killing the man who was told to get rid of the body. The other two took him to God knows where. Then, to score brownie points, they brought all the stuff from the van in and set it where ever it belonged.
The computer was being set up as the henchman took stuff to the owners place. Then they dumped Marcus's body on the floor and looked up at the Joker. The Joker thought for a moment, where oh where to put dear old dad.
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After cooling off and going to the dentist to make his teeth perfect again, Batman returned to the precinct. He walked into the offices where many police where working tirelessly on the case. A recently caught Circus wannabe walked over to batman with a look of excitement.
"Hey," he said, "wow even batman is with the fad these days! Gordon why can't you be cool like the rest of us?" The Circus wananbe had bleach stains all over his cloths and wore pink socks. A police officer stood up with bleach damage to his uniform and socks and looked batman and the Circus wannabe's outfits.
"Wow, it is so good to know that I'm still in fashion," said the cop, "you know when you get to be my age it's hard to keep up with this generation but when I saw that I was like 'there's no way' but I tried it anyway and I'm so glad I did."
"Yea, after I saw Bruce Wayne get his house burnt down on the news and his cloths were bleach damaged and his socks were pink, I thought it was a European thing and next thing I know everyone is like that. Good thing the Joker's Circus did that or I would never have known that," said the Wannabe.
"The Joker," asked Batman in confusion. Wait a minute, the Joker's Circus didn't do that to his house he did. Batman looked over at Gordon who just shrugged. Batman turned to leave for Gordon's office with Gordon behind. "The Joker's Circus, huh?"
"Sorry," said Gordon, "but this would be the dumbest police report if I didn't tell people that, and I didn't want Mr. Wayne to look as incompetent as he really is, and Tasha Bane needed a story."
"Gordon, do you realize what you have done? This could make the Joker more powerful. If they were to set fire to Bruce Wayne's house, wait a minute, incompetent?"
"Well, it's kind of funny, actually, poor guy can't do his own laundry," he said snickering.
"I'm sure Mr. Wayne appreciates it, but could you stop giving out fake reports?"
"Oh, alright, anyway you were telling me something before you had to protect your man card."
"Why is it that the Ringleader reminds me of the Joker?"
"Well, nobody ever told you but Artemis is the Joker's daughter."
"Of course," he said as if he discovered a great secret, "does the public know yet?"
"Um, yes, they have known for quite some time."
"What!? How long?"
"Sense….back when all this craziness with the Joker tormenting Artemis started. You are the only one who didn't know. Don't you watch the news? Anyway we need to figure out where the Joker and his Circus is hiding out."
"I-I-I need to go watch the streets or something," stuttered batman as he ran out dramatically with his theme music playing and slow motion running. Everyone turned from their work to watch.
"Why doesn't he just walk out," asked Gordon.
"Because slow running is the new thing," said the Wannabe, "everyone's doing it. That's kind of how I got caught was the slow motion with theme music."
"Come on, Gordon, get with the program," said Ann Ramirez.
Batman ran out of the building and began his motion of confusion. He ran to his battered car and drove home. He turned on his camera screen to see Alfred. "Alfred," he said.
"Yes, hold on Master Bruce, my friends are facebooking me."
"Alfred, she is the Joker's daughter," he said. Alfred turned back to batman.
"Yes, I know, everyone knows, I'm trying to facebook my homies now call me back when I'm done." He hung up on batman and he made his way back to his temporary cave. He turned on his computers and began studying the screens as his own facebook popped up. He checked his Apps, left comments on his homie's walls, checked his inbox than switched over to Artemis Napier's file. He then pulled up Marcus Napier's police file. It was promising to be a long night.
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The Joker logged on and saw all who were on facebook. Hmm, batman was logged in. He decided to add him as a facebook friend and left him a message on his wall.
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"Batsy! I found you!"
"Damn," cursed Bruce, "should have just stuck to my Bruce account." He typed in a reply.
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"What do you wan't Joker!" The Joker laughed mischievously and looked over at the others who were tying Marcus's shoe strings together. He turned his attention back to the computer and replied with an attachment.
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Batman opened the attachment and a hundred yellow smiley faces popped up on his screen with macabre smiles. Then a purple crown with words on a ribbon saying 'you got punkd'!" His computer started to malfunction and he could not turn it back on. Batman hit it a couple times. Dammit a virus!
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The Joker laughed out catching everyone elses attention accept for Marcus as he was unconscious at this time still. They came walking over to find out what was so funny.
"Just, uh, playing with Batsy's computer." He showed them the virus and they chuckled a bit. The joke isn't quite as funny when you have to explain it. He got up from the computer and let Artemis have it.
Artemis logged into her facebook and saw a message on her wall from Kayla, Damian's foster sister! "Hey you guys, check it out, Kayla wrote on my wall." Everyone walked over to her computer to read the message.
"Kayla as in Damian's sister Kayla," asked Joey.
"That's the one," said Artemis, "let's see, 'Artemis you stupid bitch, my life is Hell now because of you. I'm glad your mother died so she won't have to deal with her psychopathic daughter. Everyone hates in you including the joker', well okay Kayla." She started to type a reply.
I don't know why you are blaming me if your life is shitty. Your dad has a brain tumor because of his alcoholic, jobless, slutty daughter. HAHAHA
Btw, I still know where you live :)
Comment
The others laughed at the message and went back to doing whatever. She then saw a message from Harleen Quinzelle. Artemis thought back for a moment and remembered that Harleen had given her her facebook just in case. Damian and Joey got it to. She opened up the message from the inbox and read it to herself.
Artemis
I know you don't like me much but I just wanted to say that we can try. I am sure you know about how I feel about your father, I saw it on your face today, and I don't blame you. I just wanted to make sure that the Joker, the others, and you got to safety. Please let me know and if is alright with the Joker maybe he can add me
Artemis blinked a couple of times. Did that just really happen? A smile crept on her face. She messaged Harleen back.
Harleen
I am very well aware of your feelings for my father and his feelings for you.
She looked over at the Joker giggling at Damian and Joey as they started drawing on Marcus's face. Oh yea, he didn't really care, he was just fucking with the girls head. Artemis had no idea how right she was. The Joker really didn't care, he just had someone new to play with, it was just different when he messed with her head is all.
I have no right to tell you or the Joker what to do. We got away okay, just a few injuries, nothing some stitches, boards for bone support, and bandages made from Marcus's prison uniform couldn't fix. Damian won't stop bleeding but the Joker assures me that he will be okay.
Looking over she saw Damian putting a funny clown face on Marcus.
Joey's arm is at a weird angle but the Joker pulled it back in location. After he was done screaming the Joker mumbled something about a muscle tare he put the arm in a sling made of Joey's own shirt and told him don't move it to much.
Artemis watched Joey write JOKER on Marcus's forehead.
The Joker was shot a couple of times and he can't get one of the bullets out but he is drinking to kill the pain. He had me try and pull it out. I got it after twisted and turning a few times in the whole.
The Joker grabbed his hair spray decided to join in the fun and spray painted Marcus's hair green.
Me, I'm trying not to stand on my sprang ankle. My other one is broken but if I don't move it to much and I continue to pop these loratabs once ever hour I'm not in as much pain. I lost one of my fingers and I was afraid to type on the keyboard but as long as I don't use that finger I'm fine.
We are all in good health here and hoping you are okay. Let me know how you are feeling. I will tell the Joker your add offer when he is conscious again.
Artemis pressed the confirm button and got off so Joey could have a go. "Anything other, uh, interesting messages, hmm?"
"Oh, yea, Harleen asked that you add her," said Artemis. The Joker then backed up to see his handy work.
"It's a, uh, wonder he hasn't woken up yet," said the Joker.
"Yea, that is curious," she replied.
"So what now," asked Damian.
"Put him in the garage," said the Joker. Damian heaved the man on his shoulder and drug him out to the garage.
The Joker walked off to the kitchen to find something to eat and Artemis walked off to go find her pit bull. "Hey, Joey, where is Savage," she asked.
"He's running around here somewhere," said Joey. Artemis walked off to go find him. Joey turned back to the computer. Alright, time!
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Harleen saw that she had a message in her inbox. She clicked on it and saw it was from Artemis. She stood up in shock at what she read. She wanted to scream in horror, what the fuck happened!
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Alright! End of another chapter! Hope you enjoyed.
