Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I do have ownership rights to this... er... special story.

A/N: Possibly one of the weirdest ideas I have ever had for a fanfic, but hey, it makes for an entertaining plot! :-P Reviews greatly appreciated. This is going to be a multiple-part short story.

Big thank you to the plethora of reviewers who've been supporting this story through their feedback. I was blown away by the sheer number! SexyInuSailor1, Piper Chris Melinda Halliwell, DavisJes, MoonlightSonata87, serenity wayne, renkhal, Miss DnG, snoopykid, Lop-Eared Bunnies, GabbyCullen36, Robyn85, Walks In Faith, Nyah Rhys, Bronze Wolf, Krys7, RoyalLovers1418, PriestessHelene, shinomu, Sasusc, CharmedSerenity3, Lady Catherine, Kitkino86, waking dawn, uranusfan1, Mageblood, Cassie Carter, and Bluegoat.

Summary: What started out a harmless game suddenly became an incredibly awkward situation... The four Inner Senshi are dared by Haruka to spend one night staked out in Mamoru's closet without being caught. Never ones to be labelled 'chicken', the girls follow through... and get the surprise of their lives when Usagi shows up mere minutes later! Unfortunately for them, she's in a particularly lusty mood... And so is their dashing chevalier. Now truly stuck in Mamoru's bedroom of all places, the Inners are forced to play audience to their Prince and Princess doing the deed... with mixed reactions from all. Humorous, romantic, and slightly dirty! :-P Enjoy!

Warning: Adult content! Swearing! Younger readers beware! Rated M.

One Dark and Perverted Night

Part 4: "Is it a Felony if You're Friends?"


"Could someone... please remind me again... why exactly we're doing this?" Ami- or rather, Sailor Mercury- panted, as the girl lunged from rooftop to rooftop. She spared a thought to how hard this was, when the drug of pre-battle adrenaline wasn't rushing through her veins, spurring her on. It also didn't help that most of her was pleading to turn back, and nix this stupid undertaking for something much less adventurous and much more bookish... something more within her comfort zone. Oh, but pride was a terrible thing. Pride and that annoying thing called peer pressure. Hand-in-hand they led to her downfall, every time.

"Because," Sailor Mars grunted as she tagged along behind the pedantic, "this is a chance for revenge. And, our two whores back there are giddy at the chance to see the Prince naked!"

Indeed, Sailors Jupiter and Venus were just a little further back, quarreling about something that sounded suspiciously like "Mamoru-san" and "I thought you were supposed to bring the camera!"

"Hey- Hurry up!" Mars hollered impatiently. "We haven't got all night!"

"Correction," Mercury fairly interrupted. "We do."

Mars just rolled her eyes. The other two lagging behind also scowled, but hastened their pace. Everyone stopped when Azabu Apartments came into view, perching themselves on the edge of a nearby office building. From this vantage point, they could almost see into Mamoru's darkened bedroom. No doubt the man was still hard at work... working. In whatever area he was focusing in now. Venus rallied for modeling, but Mercury disagreed- she believed he was at cram class, studying to become a doctor. And Jupiter had a hankering he was still a waiter, at least until his Masters program was through. Mars just grumbled; she said they'd ask Usagi the All-Knower of All Things Mamoru (except of course his own birthday) later. Right now, she had a much more pressing issue to broach.

"One," Mars scolded, "there will be no cameras involved tonight. Do you know the trouble we'd get into if Usagi ever set eyes on those photos!?"

"But blackmail-" Venus whined, and Jupiter finished eagerly,

"...is fun!"

"No. And two, how the hell are we getting into Mamoru-san's bedroom unseen, might I ask?" This query was directed more at Mercury than anyone else. Mars didn't even want to know the utterly implausible and undoubtedly filthy ideas her other comrades harbored.

"Well, one possibility is going in through the front, donned as civilians. But, that raises many a question with the doorman. I'm sure he'd bring it up with Mamoru-san if he happened upon four women attempting break-in and entry," Mercury reasoned with her infallibly smooth logic, as she tapped a contemplative finger upon her cheek. The Senshi sighed. This was so much harder than it had seemed earlier.

Mercury suddenly gasped. "Oh my God!"

"What!?" everyone shouted in concern, worried when their friend lost all color. She was gazing with a rather listless look- seeing and not seeing- into their Prince's as yet unpenetrated apartment.

"Is it Mamoru-san?"

"Did he see us?"

"Is he naked?"

"Is it big?"

"Is it hair-"

"Okay, okay, we don't need to get specific!" Mars yowled, covering her ears. "My mental images are growing incredibly graphic!"

"It's just..." Mercury breathed, chewing ravenously on her lip, "we're going to be breaking and entering! That's like... a felony!"

"We're Sailor Senshi, Ami-chan!" Jupiter chuckled, patting her friend on the arm. "We can't be arrested! At least... I don't think we can... Hmm. You know, we need a rule book. Like, 'we save the world's arse every fricking day, so therefore we have carte blanche privileges and cannot be put in jail no matter what the circumstances'... yeah, that'd be sweet, open many a door... heh heh heh heh..." The brunette stared off into space, daydreaming about all the crimes she could commit if her book became a reality. Venus unfortunately took up where the brawny one left off.

"Besides... it's not a felony if we're friends with the guy, right? Mamoru-san wouldn't mind... not really, at least..."

"Hmph, then you go ask him if we may watch him from the innards of his closet then, and see what his answer is!" Mars sniffed. She turned and bestowed a kindly look on Mercury, assuring her, "Don't worry, Ami-chan. If we get arrested that means Mamoru-san caught us, and if Mamoru-san catches us word will spread to Haruka-san, and I won't let Haruka-san find out so therefore we won't get caught!"

"Well that made little to no sense. And I thought you were the one with premonitory powers?" Jupiter gibed, returning from her inner fantasies with a snort. "Alright. It's high time we stopped wasting moonlight and get into Mamoru-san's closet before he comes home."

"Agreed," Mars said, dragging the still reluctant Mercury along. "We'll use the balcony- safest way- and pick through whatever lock's there. I'm sure Mako-chan knows how-"

"What? You'd assume that of me!?" Jupiter cried, affronted.

"You know I'm right," Mars pointed out, raising her brow.

Jupiter grinned, lifting her shoulders. "Got me there."

"So what other secrets have you been hiding from us, girl?" Venus prodded, eliciting a suspiciously guilty blush from Jupiter.

"Nothing!" she replied, voice just a little too high-pitched to be believable. "I've never been to jail! I'm still a virgin! I- hey, why are you guys coughing and snickering like that! I am a virgin... I am!"

The pronounced hacking behind gloved hands escalated violently.

"Oh, shut up. Enough about me! Let's go commit a felony!" the green-eyed warrior cheered.


A/N: Ha ha. Hope you enjoyed this and had a few chortles, snorts, and snickers along the way. Reviews brighten my day, y'know. And they help me update faster, so... keep 'um coming!

AngelMoon Girl