Alright so the last chapter I gave batman a break. I've decided to make things really interesting.

Chapter 19

When the Joker did not return it was getting very worrisome. Artemis found herself looking in the drive way to see if he was back. Damian tend to watch the door turning his good eat at it to make sure he heard it open. Joey fought the urge to text the Joker. He groaned in frustration as he put the phone down for the hundredth time. "This is stupid," snapped Joey, "man, let's do something!"

"Like what," asked Damian.

"I don't know, something," said Joey frustrated.

"Anyone watched the news lately," asked Artemis.

"Nope," said Damian, "we have all been watching out for the Joker."

"So none of us thought to watch the news for the Joker," asked Artemis.

"I thought you were going to watch the news," said Damian.

"I thought Joey was watching the news," argued Artemis.

"News bores me," said Joey.

"That is not the point," snapped Artemis, "remember when I came home and told you guys how I passed the Joker and he told us to watch the news?"

"Well, the Joker has been missing for two days," said Damian, "we will have to look at the Archives."

"I'll do it," mumbled Artemis. What if there was a reason for him telling her to watch the news. She got on the computer and looked up the archives. She found a story on the Joker from just yesterday. She mumbled the words to herself. Apparently when he was in the middle of a one man bank robbery he stole a squad car and was caught by batman. Batman took him to Arkham Asylum laughing like a maniac and his last words were 'Artemis don't come after me'. The paper described it as a threatening tone. Artemis gulped a bit, thank god for that, all she has to do is wait for him to get out of Arkham again…wait a minute!

She stormed over to where the other two were hawk eyeing the driveway. "Stop waisting your time," she snapped, "he went and got himself locked up again and he said not to come after him."

"Isn't that a good thing though," said Joey, "man, if we had gone to save him he would have been pissed off."

"Hello, why do you think he is at Arkham?"

"For Dr. Quinzell," said Damian.

"Really? Why," asked Joey. Artemis just growled in frustration. She didn't know why but she was angry and extremely jealous. The Joker would rather go and get locked up with some blonde psychology wannabe then be at home with her for a fucking day!? The world was upside down now. He went through all that trouble and now his attention is on someone else!

Joey and Damian exchanged glances. "What just happened," asked Joey.

"Artemis is acting like a jealous child," said Damian irritated.

"Why?"

"Because her father found himself a girlfriend. He went back to Arkham on purpose so he can flirt with the good doctor. Artemis is jealous of Dr. Quinzel."

"Oh man, that's gotta suck, especially sense she hates Harleen so much."

"Yea, no shit, let's go fuck up a neighbors house or something. Like kick the door and just throw shit all over the floor."

"Only if there is a shredder machine," said Joey following.

…………………………………..

Harleen sat in the office alone with a bottle of whisky and a shot glass. She loaded the glass and shot it down. She licked her lips. When batman threw the Joker on the floor at her feet he was bleeding and bruised. The message she had received did not help her out emotionally. She quickly had the Joker taken to the emergency room and sat by his side at the small desk. When he finally opened his eyes he give her a smile. She smiled back "I'm glad your okay," she said. She turned to leave the cell when a firm hand grabbed her. She turned around.

"Going, uh, so soon?" Harleen felt a smile creep up on her face. No one around was awake and the guards were excused for switch out. They had half an hour. If there was one thing Harleen could say about the Joker it would be that that man knows how to use what the good lord gave him.

Now here she was sitting in her office taking shots wondering about her life now. After some quick hot sex with the biggest maniac in Gotham city you start to think about yourself. She suddenly got a nutty idea. Why the hell not! She got fired she could still see the Joker when he managed to break out! She got up and left Arkham. It was midnight and there was only one store open.

She went in, took a sexy Harlequin outfit, some cheap face make up, and a jokers hat to go with the outfit. She left the store without paying. The clerk wanted to say something but her eyes were insane and danced with fury. Fury that Hell hath not. Harleen jumped in her car and headed back to the asylum.

……………………………..

The Joker looked up as he heard his guard talking to someone. "Excuse me doctor but I cannot let you in without an escort. Not while he is conscious. Why are you dressed like that?" Next thing the Joker knew there was a loud gunshot and the guards brains were splattered all over the floor. The Joker smiled as Harleen stood before him dressed like a Harlequin. She looked like a china doll in the moonlight. She opened the cell door with the guards key and the Joker lead the way out.

……………………………….

Everyone got up. They all crawled out of their beds, their prison cells, their spots on the side walk and watched the news on the street corner, on their own TV, the cafeteria TV, radio's and just about any device to turn on a news report. Gotham was constantly on edge as to what happened last night, what happened that morning, and what may happen that night. The news was a city wide obsession for everyone but Bruce, he preferred to sleep.

"Today on GNN we have a story on the Joker once again. It seems that he spent two days in Arkham Asylum before a psychiatrist of his named Doctor Harleen Quinzel was seen shooting a night guard and breaking the Joker out of his cell. Dr. Arkham says that she was his doctor and that they could not have predicted the outcome. We have Tasha Bane with the Joker's Circus."

"Thank you Grey, I'm Tasha Bane here at the Joker's last hideout." Damian was in the back with a big sign that said "HI MOM". Joey was jumping around with a Number 1 phone finger and Artemis was jumping with joy wearing a baseball cap and having a sparkler in hand. They all crowded Tasha excitedly. "So you guys look like you're having a good time, what are your opinions on the Jokers escape."

"We're happy that the Joker is out of the Asylum and all," said Damian, "but we are celebrating because the Red Socks actually won a game! WOOOO!" Artemis took Damian's place.

"Hey, Joker, we're waiting for you man! THE RED SOCKS WON WOOO!"

Joey was in the background chanting 'we're numba 1!'. "Hey, man, hurry home, and bring your pretty little friend with you! THE CURSE OF THE BAMBINO IS LIFTED! YES!"

"And there you have it. Three teenagers realizing their dreams, back to you Gray."

"Isn't that wonderful, to see kids all excited," said Greg.

"George," said the weatherman, "why is it that every time someone says your name it is usually a different one? What is your real name?"

"The world may never know," said Grant smiling.

…………………………………………

Bruce wanted to scream. He walked down the stairs in such a fury not realizing that his shoes were untied. He tore down to his batcave and began rushing around getting ready. He tripped on his shoe string and stumbled forward into a puddle and slipped down the temporary batcave. "Alfred," he shouted.

"Yes, master Bruce," he yelled back.

"I need help!"

"Should I bring the latter, sir!?"

"Good idea!"

Bruce waited patiently. He never told anyone about his meeting with Artemis. It was the weirdest night of his life. He wondered if she would come by for another card game sometime? He looked up as the ladder came down. He climbed up and went back about his business.

……………………………………

The Joker pulled in the driveway and left for the front door. Harleen bounced behind him. He had a wicked smile. She was more animated then before. She seemed to have an undying energy. She also laughed and smiled more, she acted a bit stupider, but the Joker knew for a fact that she was beyond stupid. This was almost perfect. People would mistake her for an insane moron. He chuckled to himself.

"I'm Home," he sang. No one responded. Then he heard the backdoor open. "Hey, he's back," yelled Damian. Damian came running in with Joey, Artemis, Tasha and the camera man closely behind. Tasha fixed her hair and stood next to the Joker.

"The Joker has just arrived home with Dr. Quinzel. Tell me Joker, how does it feel to be out of the asylum?"

"Feels great Tasha," he responded.

"And Dr. Quinzel, why the Joker?"

"Well, Tasha, Mistah J is my hero. It's Harley Quinn now by the way," she said. Her voice had gone from serious to a high pitched Brooklyn accent. Tasha pulled Artemis back on camera. Artemis looked around nervously as she stood between her father and her doctor.

"Tell me, Artemis, what is it like now that your dad is seeing his therapist?"

"Um…I dunno."

"You are no longer alone in a house full of testosterone. Do you think things will seem different?"

"I guess so."

"What is it like having another woman in the house? More comfortable?"

"She just got here," argued Artemis.

"Back to you Greg."

"Wow," said Gray, "one big happy family.

………………………………..

Alfred turned off the news and continued cooking, nothing else interesting is going to be on the news now. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

…………………………

Batman got on his facebook and wrote the Joker a message.

Why did Harleen break you out of jail!?

Five minutes passed.

Because she is in love with me.

Batman replyed That's stupid. Why would she love you?

Another five minutes

You're just jealous that I have a girlfriend and your probably still a virgin

Batman gave a sigh, she didn't tell anyone either apparently. You're the stupid one! I am not a virgin and you probably forced her to love you.

Five minutes.

Batman you are a lonely loser with no life. You parade around in a bat costume night after night. Give it a fucking break and get over yourself. You aren't that great! Besides, you so ugly cats burry you in the sand!

Joker, I have a life outside of my work unlike you who is probably sleeping with his work! You need to get over yourself before you tell anyone else to. You run around dressed in purple! Don't give me shit when you do the same fucking thing! You so nasty I get an ear infection when I talk to you on the phone!

Batman you couldn't please a woman if your life depended on it. Don't compare yourself to me. I at least don't have to live two separate lives. Must really suck to have to hide from everyone and lie all the time. You so fat the cow said 'damn'.

Funny, I didn't hear your mom complaining.

My mom says to stay off her window sill or she is going to call the cops perv! Your mom complained but I slapped that bitch and told her to shut the fuck up.

My mom could kick your ass Joker.

Yea, because your mom is a fucking butch!

Your dads a fucking bitch!

My dads dead you insensitive prick! The Joker laughed wickedly, that's gonna get to him.

He was probably sick of hearing that laugh on a regular basis Batman thought for a moment then sent another message. Hey I got to go need to get back to work.

Whatever

The truth was Batman had no more comebacks. He needed to get back to patrolling anyway.

"Anything interesting going on," asked Joey as the Joker started mumbling to himself.

"Batman just bitched out," he said. He went back to looking for whatever it was he was searching for. Harley watched him curiously. Artemis, who was sitting next to her, was more focused on filing her nails while Damian didn't even hear what was going on. He was busy trying to beat level 16 on Halo 3 to really care at the moment anyway.

"I'm board," said Artemis. The Joker wasn't even listening to her. He took a bunch of magazines and stalked off to his dark room. Artemis eyed him as he left. The Joker could feel her eyes on him but ignored it. He had better things to do then worry about teen drama.

"Wanna go shopping," Harley asked. Artemis gave her a very irritated look. She sighed in defeat of Harley's puppy dog blue eyes.

"Sure, why not," she grumbled getting up.

"Ooo, lets have a girls day!"

"You girls have fun," said Joey, "I'm gonna rudely interrupted Damian here and kick his ass at this game."

……………………………………

The Joker giggled as he put the letter together from words out of different magazines. His next plan was going to be big. Bruce Wayne had a birthday party coming up and he was making it the biggest party in Gotham. The Joker looked at his handy work and read the letter.

I have kidnapped the Prince of Gotham. If you want to see him alive again you will have to push the button. It is a detonator to a bomb set up to a bomb in one of the daycares nearby. What's it gonna be Gotham? Your Prince or your children?

Love,

The Joker

It was not normally his style to kidnap someone and leave a ransom note, but this could be fun! Not to mention it would be a blast taking Harley.

…………………………………

Next time:

Artemis goes shopping and is not happy about it

The Joker takes Harley and his Circus to Bruce Wayne's birthday bash

Bruce Wayne is hostage

Batman disappears?

Sorry this was such a quick chapter but I do need sleep.