Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I do have ownership rights to this... er... special story.
A/N: Possibly one of the weirdest ideas I have ever had for a fanfic, but hey, it makes for an entertaining plot! :-P Reviews greatly appreciated. This is going to be a multiple-part short story.
WOAH YO! I am just astounded... really floundering for words here, guys. What can I say to truly voice my admiration and awe at all you reviewers? Seriously, y'all ROCK. You keep this story alive and thriving! Piper Chris Melinda Halliwell, SerentiyMoonGodness, XM, Celeste-Love, M, Jess, Nyah Rhys, ladyinwaiting2005, waking dawn, Whartongirl11, CharmedSerenity3, Lady Razeli, , sailormoon0630, Manoella, triforcepower-2006, Diagnosis-MusicObsession, devafiend, renkhal, Sailor Moon Has Balls, meeshu420, Serandi82, Foxy Megumi, debora diskey, MoonPrincess568, SexyInuSailor1, Hikari Urania, snoopykid, everlove09, LiveGreen, xo Usako ox, RoyalLovers1418, SailorPrincess1237, edwardlover19, Sixteen Candl3s, The Crystal Princess, Eternal Lady, Bunnykiss, Flying Snowflake of Hope, tokidokilove, LunaV-chan, DavisJes, and SilverSlippers.
Summary: What started out a harmless game suddenly became an incredibly awkward situation... The four Inner Senshi are dared by Haruka to spend one night staked out in Mamoru's closet without being caught. Never ones to be labelled 'chicken', the girls follow through... and get the surprise of their lives when Usagi shows up mere minutes later! Unfortunately for them, she's in a particularly lusty mood... And so is their dashing chevalier. Now truly stuck in Mamoru's bedroom of all places, the Inners are forced to play audience to their Prince and Princess doing the deed... with mixed reactions from all. Humorous, romantic, and slightly dirty! :-P Enjoy!
Warning: Adult content! Swearing! Younger readers beware! Rated M.
One Dark and Perverted Night
Part 6: "Closet Coquettes and Close Calls"
RECAP (because it's been a little while...)
Just then, the distant sound of a lock becoming unlocked- the legal, non-felonious way- permeated into the bedroom.
"Oh shit," Makoto swore, and her expletive just about summed up all the Senshi's thoughts.
The night was about to get a little more exciting.
"Oh my God, oh my God!" Minako freaked, waving her hands so fast that she was either attempting to fly away or perform some strange new mating ritual. "What do we doooo?"
"The closet," Rei hissed, literally shoving the other three in, then joining them all in one spectacular leap. The closet slammed shut behind them in all the commotion, but hopefully Mamoru was far enough away that he didn't suspect anything. Everyone landed unceremoniously into a pile of- who'da thunked it?- more pea green jackets. Apparently, these were the sorry bunch that hadn't survived past Mamoru's chest... buffening. If that was even a word. Being Tuxedo Kamen- or perhaps just a superhero in general- did wonders to one's physique. Their clothes suffered, but Tokyo's female population certainly did not.
The front door announced a new presence in the apartment with an almighty creak. Heavy footsteps shuffled inward, along with the sound of keys being haphazardly dropped onto a counter. Ami squeezed her eyes shut in terror, and Rei took the opportunity to throw a spare jacket over the girl's blue head.
"We can't be seen," she reminded when the teen started protesting. Minako and Makoto followed suit as their raven-headed friend peeked out through a slit in the door. There was another moment of footfalls, accompanied by rummaging. The quartet heard Mamoru cursing a work-borne headache and muttering something about "remedies". Rei sighed, wishing and not wishing that she could observe what was happening. It was better this way, but ignorance was just so frustrating.
Cabinets opened and slammed. Then, a bottle was uncorked.
"Think he's drinking beer?" Minako whispered interestedly.
"Nah, Mamoru-san? He's more refined than that; I'd wager a bet it's wine," Makoto countered, earning herself a baleful eye from the fire priestess.
"Shh!"
Makoto just rolled her eyes. "We won't have much to worry about if he gets hammered, Rei-chan."
"I never would've imagined Mamoru-san as an alcoholic," Ami added as her two cents, in a teeny voice from beneath the jacket cloaking her. The other three sweatdropped.
"Oh, Ami-chan," Minako sighed.
"Honey, just because people have a drink or two once in a while when they're stressed does not make them an alcoholic," Makoto explained patiently, the merest hint of humor coloring her tone. "Personal experience- some good heavy vodka just calms you right down."
"But- but... that's illegal!" Ami spluttered in squeaky protest. "We're underage!"
"So is breaking and entering, but we've gone over this already," Rei juxtaposed. Ami didn't say anything else after that.
Suddenly, their conversation was snipped short when Mamoru ambled into his bedroom. Rei soundlessly shot away from the slit, cursing fate when Mamoru decided to head, not for his first closet, but the one they were in. Minako and Makoto paled as they shoved themselves deeper into the corner with Ami, the viridian bane of life already secreting them. Unfortunately, no room was left for Rei to squeeze in, so the priestess was stuck jacket-less in the opposite corner. With some prodigious quick-thinking, the guardian of Mars stood up, pressed herself against the wall, and slipped behind a cluster of green. Then prayed feverishly that it would be dark enough Mamoru wouldn't notice her flip-flops betraying her, poking out from underneath all the clothes...
The closet door moaned as Mamoru wrenched it open. No one breathed as he carelessly tossed his current pea colored overcoat in. They all gaped at the half-full wine bottle clutched in his right hand, and the manner in which their friend's paramour divested himself of his jacket. Either he was teetering on the brink of inebriation, or the world was coming to a terrible end... because Mamoru was perhaps one of the neatest individuals ever to walk the earth...
Minako stiffened. Makoto glanced over at her, eyes popping.
Fuck it all, the blonde was about to sneeze!
"Hold it," the brunette mouthed, watching the little battle Minako was engaged in with her nose. It was twitching oddly. Makoto began getting weird visions of bunnies... hopping around... in a field...
Dammit, now she wanted some wine! Or vodka... Mm...
Mamoru yawned, turning around and stumbling back into the kitchen. Without even latching the closet back into place.
Ho. Lee. Shit.
Most definitely, 100%, tipsy. Maybe there was some truth to Ami's alcoholic theory...? Nah, Rei brushed it away. He probably just couldn't hold his liquor...
"Is it just me..." Minako hissed, before relieving herself gently with a muffled "Achoo!"
"Yes?" Ami prompted, peeking a cerulean eye out.
"Ah, much better. Is it just me, or is Mamoru-san really hot when he's drunk?" the flaxen-haired virago finished, that lurid look back in her eye.
Everyone groaned.
"God, not again!" Rei lamented, gaze pleading heavenward for an end to this nightmare. "Minako-chan, you flirt with anything that walks and has a penis! Don't you care that he's taken- lock and key?"
"Hey," Minako whined, observing as the flame maiden crawled over and mutely slid the closet shut again... it wasn't like Mamoru was going to remember in his state. "That's not nice! I don't flirt with everything that walks and has a penis! 'Cause that would include like... animals and stuff! And... that's just nasty..."
"Minako-chan, I'd really like to keep dinner where it belongs," Rei lamented, trying to keep her mental images PG as she rubbed her stomach and let out a much aggrieved sigh. If this was seriously what they had to look forward to tonight...
It was as if fate were listening in on her thoughts, because things suddenly did get a lot more interesting.
The doorbell began ringing, in a most annoying fashion... over and over and over again...
And only one person they knew did that.
Okay, well two, but one of them was safely at home in the future. So that just left one certain odango who could be calling upon Mamoru at this late hour...
A/N: The more who review, the faster I'll attempt to update! Thanks!
AngelMoon Girl
