Woohoo back with another chapter! So this one is full of secret agent man stuff! I promise!

13onnie: I'm glad you liked it. Sorry my take on the joker is bad but you gotta remember this is my first. But I do try.

Well…yea

Chapter 23

Soon as they reached a new hiding spot the Joker, once again, had a hold of Artemis's hair and drug her inside. Harley and Joey had Bruce and Joey opened doors and such…you know, pretending to be useful. The Joker drug her up a stair case as she desperately tried to keep up. He threw her in a room and shit hit the wall. The Joker slammed the door shut and she heard the door lock.

Unbelievable. He put a lock…on the outside of the door…

The Joker smiled to himself. He had prepared for this day just in case. That crazy girl wasn't going anywhere!

…………………….

Damian tied Bruce up and threw him in a bathroom. The Joker could do whatever with him. He looked to be in a foul enough mood to snap at any second. The man was extremely bipolar. The Joker came down with a key in his hand. He walked into the living room where Joey and Damian where watching the news report Tasha was covering that happened just an hour and a half ago. Damn, was she ever on top of everything they did.

He picked up his keys and stuck the new one on. "Where's Brucy at," he asked.

"In the bathroom tied up," said Damian. The Joker stalked off to the bathroom and slowly opened the door.

"Hey, uh, sorry about all of that," he said with fake concern, "haha she's a little rebel without a cause." He licked his lips and grinned at Bruce, "I do hope for no more, uh, interruptions, hmm?" Bruce just stared at him. "Say, most peculiar thing, bat for brains hasn't shown up yet tonight. It's been a whole day and I haven't heard from him in days. It's really breaking my heart." He laughed sadistically and walked out. Bruce almost wanted to panic. The Joker knew who he was! But how? Did Artemis tell him? He felt the angry in him grow. She was just toying with him. Well there goes that plan.

…………………….

Gordon cursed as he finally got into his car to go home for the afternoon and maybe get some sleep in. They almost had them. If only they could somehow outsmart that driver. He drove like a madman! Well, better luck tonight hopefully. Maybe Joey would anonymously call again and tell them where they were now.

………………….

Harley joined the boys on the couch to watch TV. She wasn't sure how to take everything in that had happened in just an hour and a half. "Say," she said, "is this normal?"
"Is what normal," asked Damian.

"Artemis and Mistah J fightin?"

"Naw," said Joey, "they do get along sometimes. I'm not sure what she did to put Joker off the deep end but her mouth looked like hell."

"It looked like hell to begin with," laughed Damian.

"Yes, I know, but it looks worse now," said Joey, "he really fucked her up."

"Well, at the rate she is going, she may not have teeth by the end of the year. It's already December."

"She'll be alright, won't she," asked Harley, "I feel kind of bad tellin Mistah J about all the questions she was askin me."

"Questions," asked Damian and Joey, their attention no longer on the TV but on her.

"Yea, she asked me personal questions. How old I was, why I didn't like shopping much before, asked me questions like what would have happened if batman didn't' show up. Asked me how old I was and how old Mistah J was, what if Bruce Wayne was batman. I thought we were playing a game. Mistah J didn't think so."

"No," said Joey, "sounds like she was getting information out of you."

"For what," she asked. Damian and Joey looked at each other. Harley felt a little out of the loop. She huffed and got up. They were no fun! She had to find Mistah J or where Mistah J put Artemis.

She opened the door and made her way up the stair case to look for them. She saw a door that looked to have a lock on the outside….ooo…. She pulled a wire hanger out of the closet across the hall and proceeded to pick the lock. When she heard the click she opened the door and saw Artemis sitting on the floor letting the blood dribble out of her mouth and seemed to be far off somewhere else.

Harley walked forward and smiled. She returned the smile to Harley. Her teeth where red with new holes and a few of them looked sharper then before. Artemis stood up and walked toward her. Harley got a bad feeling as she slowly backed up. Something about her smile now was more terrifying then before. The Joker was creating a monster.

"Where ya goin', Harley," she asked, swaying her head and body left to right in a play full manner as she kept walking forward. Harley gave her a nervous little giggle and started walking backwards.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," she said, "puddin' looked a little angry when I told him."

"So," she said, "you're the little pest going around telling the Joker about all the, uh, questions I was asking." Her face suddenly turned to one of hurt and she stopped. "Now, Harley, I asked you that out of confidence."

"I didn't know he would get angry," she said in her defense, "he asked how the shopping trip went and I told him."

"You couldn't leave out the part where we were just getting closer, Harley? And here I was starting to think of you as a better mother then my own." That was it. Harley felt tears well up inside her and she lunged forward and gave Artemis a big hug. Artemis was slightly shorter then her and felt herself being suffocated in the love of Harley's bosom. God help this woman.

"I-I-I'm s-so s-s-s-s-sorrrrryyyy," she wailed. Artemis's eyes grew wide. Making noise like that, the Joker was going to hear. She patted her on the back and told her everything was going to be alright. Harley smiled and rubbed her nose with her sleeve. "Really,' she said with a smile. Artemis resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had to make this look legit.

"Listen, Harley, I need you to leave and lock the door again," she said. Harley nodded and bounced out locking the door, after scratching it by accident once or twice with the wire hanger, and putting it back in the closet. She closed the door and started down the hall back to the living room.

"Harley," came the Joker from behind her. Harley turned around and smiled. "What are you doing up here," he asked.

"Just taking a look around," Harley said with a smile. She skipped back down the stairs with the Joker close on her heels. He had a sneaky suspicion she wasn't just looking around and Artemis just might have something to do with it. He took a quick look back at the door and noticed a scratch or two on the lock that were not there before. He would have to keep a look out on Harley for a bit. God knows what Artemis manipulated out of her this time.

…………………………………………..

Artemis looked around the room she was locked in. There was a bed and a window and a desk and a chair. That was it. She was locked up in prison. She walked to the window and saw there was only a screen. She then walked over to the closet and searched it high and low for a small doorway, an air vent, or at least a way for her to escape out the window. She found nothing.

Walking back to the window she saw the sun starting to go down. She looked down and saw the Joker, Harley, Damian, Joey, and a few henchmen gathering outside. She saw a black van drive up.

…………………………………..

The Joker waited patiently as the door opened and Scarecrow climbed out. The Joker laughed. "I guess, uh, you found yourself a way out."

"It's surprisingly easy to get out of Arkham," he said, "I did work there for several years and I know that place like the back of my hand. Who's the woman and where is the girl?"

"This is Harley," he said, "as for Artemis, she's locked up."

"Ah, Batman get her?"

"No, I did." Scarecrow nodded and looked Harley carefully in the face. She looked really familiar. He could swear he knew her.

"Dr. Quinnzel," he asked. Harley just nodded. "Well, I can't say I saw this coming, you do look quite fetching as a Harlequin." Harley smiled proudly. She was a beauty and she knew it. "It's almost nightfall."

"Where we goin," asked Joey.

"We're breaking out the rest of the team," said the Joke with a smile.

"What about Artemis," asked Damian.

"If she wants teeth when I come back she will still be in that room," he growled.

………………………………….

Artemis watched them all leave. Now was as good a time as any to get the hell out of here. She had her own agenda to think about. She opened the window and popped the screen out. She held close to the wall and stealthily snuck around the roof to a different window.

She pulled out the screen and walked into the room. She opened the door and ran downstairs to look for him. She ran into the basement, nothing, she ran into many different rooms, nothing, finally she walked back downstairs and started calling out his name. She heard someone knocking on a door. She turned around and opened it. It was a bathroom with Bruce on the floor in front of the door.

She pulled out a pocket knife and started to cut away at his ropes. "Bruce, if I let you out of here I need to disappear. Tell me where I can find that place in China you told me about. With the league of shadows." Bruce looked at her hesitantly. He really shouldn't tell.

"Why," he asked.

"If I let you go the Joker is going to know it was me."

"What happened to your teeth," he asked, now noticing.

"Joker found out I have been playing my own games against him when I fucked it up." Bruce shouldn't tell her where the league of shadows was but she was safer there then she was in the city. He stood up when she got the rope off of him and she led them down the hall. He gave her detailed instructions on how to get there, who to talk to, what to do, everything he could possibly remember. She listened intently as she started up the car and drove out of the driveway.

Artemis didn't have a license to drive. Damian was the only one who bothered with Drivers Ed so he had a license. Joey didn't want to deal with the drug test and Artemis didn't even have a car to bother with. She bounced excitedly up and down.

"What are you so happy about," he asked.

"Well, this is my first time driving," she said, narrowly missing a car as she pulled into the street and pushed down on the gas pedal. She immediately pushed down on the break and Bruce freaked out.

"NO! We are in the middle of a busy street ! Go, go, go, go! Hurry before we get hit!" Artemis pushed down on the gas again and shot into another car. Bruce felt his heart skip a beat. Artemis didn't stop she kept on going. It was the most terrifying drive of his life. "Stop! It's a stop sign! Watch the light! Use your blinker! DAMMIT STOP THE LIGHT IS RED!" Artemis finally stopped and looked at him in frustration.

"Look," she said, "how can I learn if you keep freaking out on me!?" Bruce tried desperately to stay calm. It was really scary, she had no idea what she was doing, and she was speeding. Finally Artemis made it to Wayne manor after only six crashes, three police chases, and a little old lady having a heart attack from almost getting hit. He climbed out of the car and started kissing the ground.

"Dear sweet god! Land!"

"It wasn't that bad," she said walking off, "how am I going to get to China without anyone finding out where I am?"

"Alfred will fly you," he said hugging his drive way still. Artemis shook her head and went to find Alfred. It was almost 10 pm. The Joker would most likely be arriving back home any minute now. Bruce called up Alfred. "Yes, Alfred, could you give Artemis a lift to China, just take her to Hong Kong, she can find her way from there….Yes….I'm outside worshipping the ground…yes…don't ask…see you when you get back."

After Artemis was loaded up and ready to go, Bruce told her thank you and goodbye. "Master Bruce," said Alfred, "what happens if she comes back?"

"Then let's hope she is on our side," he said, "when she gets back she will be twice the danger she was before. If she is on the Joker's side we are in some trouble."

…………………………….

The Joker licked the scars from the inside of his mouth. She was a clever girl. He observed the screens popped out. He should have put bars on her damned windows! He went down to the kitchen and started putting bombs together as everyone watched him in curiosity.

"Well," asked Scarecrow.

"Artemis has decided that the daycare was going to be blown up tomorrow. So why stop at one?"

He took his bombs and shot out the door ordering Damian and Harley to come with. Joey was busy freaking out and pacing. He kept looking at the clock as if he expected her to come back. Poor Joey did not realize that by this time Artemis was already in Europe waiting for the helicopter to finish refueling. He prayed that the Joker did not find her and that she kept well enough away for a few months or so.

Damian drove them to every daycare in Gotham City. How many bombs did the Joker already have made? Well, he was a very thorough guy. He probably predicted this a while back ago. He only made a few more. By the time the sun was coming up they finally planted the last bomb and Damian drove them back home.

Joey was passed out on the couch with phone in hand. The Joker saw he had a message from Artemis that had just come in. He carefully took the phone and read the message.

Hey just wanted 2 say im not comin back so tell every1 else to not wait up on me

Peace!

The Joker licked his limps and threw the phone on the table. He pulled out his video tape and told Harley to film. He sat on a fun swivel chair and signaled for her to begin. "Hellooo Gotham. It seems that after I sent my last message, one of you helped Brucy boy escape. So, for that I'm going to blow up every daycare in the city in 3..2..1..AHAHAHAHAH! A message for Batman's stand in." Harley cut the tape and bounced over to the Joker and worshipped him for his amazingly cruel ways. "Harley," he said, "make sure that tape is played at exactly 9am." Harley's face lit up and she took the boys and a few henchmen with her. The Joker went down stairs to take all the buttons and make them one. It would be such a pain trying to press all those buttons at once. Can't give the kiddy's a chance to run!

………………………………………

Artemis was dropped off outside of Hong Kong and she pulled out her instructions. First she had to find a flower on the mountain side. Well, this shouldn't be too hard. She bought a horse with the money Bruce lent her and started down her path.

FLASHBACK

"If you are going to the league of shadows you have to behave yourself while you are there. Don't steal, kill, cheat, don't speak unless spoken to, if you think you are about to do something wrong don't do it. Keep walking away or you could find yourself looking down at the ground."

"What happens then," she asked.

"I mean they will chop your head off."

"For cheating or speaking at a wrong time?"

"Well, no, but you get the idea, respect is a big thing in Asia. Just behave and you will be okay until you are ready to come home."

"Okay, thanks."

"No, thank you. I was going to lock you up with the Joker but this seems like a better alternative."

"How so," she asked.

"I'm putting my faith in that you will eventually learn respect and change your ways and how to live in peace. I think that this is a good way to save you but you have to want to be saved."

"Bruce, one thing I don't want is the Joker controlling me. I want to be free and I want help. If I didn't I would not have saved you," she said. Bruce smiled and walked her to the plane.

"I hope you don't take it personal that I don't really believe everything you are telling me," he said. Artemis chuckled a bit.

"I didn't ask you to, but for the record, when I come back I will be a different person."

"I sure hope so," he said.

FLASHBACK END

She smiled at the memory. Oh, she would come back different alright. She would no longer be one of the Joker's toys. But Batman wasn't going to control her either. Artemis learned that the best way to lie is to be honest. You tell them the truth just not the whole truth. The more you are honest the more people trust you.

The Joker taught her a lot. She was grateful but she was also a prisoner. That had to stop before it got worse. She would stick around long enough to learn then leave. She didn't want to be a prisoner to some ninjas but she did need to better her work. She loved her job! It was daybreak now and figured she should send Joey or Damian a message while she could. She sent one to Joey figuring that Damian would probably be one of the first to here. She thought about telling him where she was but something told her that was a bad idea.

Thus she began a long journey. Eventually she had to lose the horse and it was a good thing someone told her it was going to snow. After retrieving her flower she walked up to the location she was told and saw a large temple like building. She walked in and saw an elderly man sitting in the middle of what looked to be a room for religious use. She set the flower on the stone table and bowed slightly not making eye contact just like the instructions said.

The man said something in Chinese she could not understand. An American man stood next to him dressed in ninja cloths. He had dark brown hair, green eyes, and seemed to be in his early 30's.

"I'm Malachi," he said, "I am the master's translator. He said "what request does such a pretty young girl ask?"

"I wish to learn," she said. The old man motioned for her to rise. She did so and spoke again.

"Master says, 'what is it you would like to learn?'"

"I wish to learn whatever you are willing to teach me," she responded. The old man chuckled a bit and spoke again."

"'How can I teach you if you do not know the question?'"

"How can I ask the question if I do not yet know of the subject," she responded.

"'You are here to join us? You have given me a blue flower so that must be your request.'"

"You have not told me to leave so this must be a yes," she said. The old man laughed and spoke again.

"'You have a quick tongue and your reasoning is fair enough. If the world followed such wisdom it would be a place of peace. But you have much arogence. This is an enemy you must overcome if you are to succeed.' I will show you your room and you start at sunrise tomorrow." Artemis smiled and thanked him. The old man signaled for her to go and she turned to leave. Beat THAT Bruce Wayne.

……………………………..

Harley busted into the recording room and put her large sledge hammer in the boss's face. "You," she said, "I want this tape played at 9 am exactly," she ordered.

"Why," he asked, putting his hands up.

"It's a message from the Joker," she said, "and no body call the police or the boss is going to have a hammer crashed in his head." People nervously started to work on the segment. They were closely watched by the Henchmen as Damian and Joey started to set up the video tape. They all remained and until the end of the tape. The boss started looking around at everyone.

"Um, excuse me miss, but do you mind if I call Tasha Bane," asked a brave secretary. Harley thought about this for a moment. She didn't want to screw this up. "When I leave, do whatever you want," she said, "lets go boys." She turned around and left. Everyone watched the go and waited till they drove off. The office started going crazy and everyone rushed about. They answered phone calls, they called up reporters, they readied the camera's and the anchor men and women, they downloaded last weeks weather report. Everything that needed to be done was getting done quicker than usual.

……………………………………….

A week had passed. The Joker was harassing the people of Gotham making life a living hell. He had a new target to focus on.

Bruce Wayne may have gotten away but that didn't mean he was going to let go that easily. He froze his bank accounts, he had the new Wayne manor raided, he set fire to one of his buildings, he set fire to his shipment boats, he blew up one of his banks where he had an account, he killed his employees in horrific ways and had them played on the news, he left a dead body of a man with a big smile carved in his face wearing one of his suits hanging by his neck on a rope on a tree right outside his bedroom window.

He left cards all over his house. He pinned cards to his cloths, he put a chair under Alfred's door, actually that was Joey, and he harassed Bruce's girlfriends.

Bruce was seeing a girl he actually liked named Dr. Chase Meridian (remember her?) and tonight he was going to take her to the circus. He knew the Joker was making life miserable for him because the Joker knew he was batman. But at the same time he was sure the Joker didn't want to kill him. He even said so himself a year ago.

FLASHBACK

"Why do you want to kill me," asked Batman. The Joker laugh hysterically.

"I don't want to kill you. Oh no, you complete me."

A LITTLE LATER

"This is what happens when an inevitable force meets an unmovable object. You and I are going to be doing this for a long time. AHAHAHAHAH"

PRESENT

For one night he didn't want to think about it. The Joker haunted him wherever he went. He told the few who knew he was batman why the Joker was doing all of this and those who didn't know where left in the dark as to why, out of nowhere, everyone knew the reason why.

Artemis had worked tirelessly with the old man keeping a close eye on her. He explained that women where not a loud to learn what they were teaching her. It was forbidden but at the same time, the old man who replaced Ra's Al Ghul after the whole batman incident, saw her as a perfect selection. Most places where she would be sent would not think her a spy of any kind.

After a week of observing her he found that their style was not quite bringing out her potential. "So what do we do about it," asked Malachi (pretend they are speaking Chinese)

"I think she needs more of a lady's touch," said the old man, "we will bring in a dancer of some sort. We will create a whole new style for her."

"Well, what would you recommend, certainly not a belly dancer. That would do us no good."

"No," he said, "a geisha, we will have one brought from Japan."

"Are there any traditional geisha's left," he asked.

"Of course," he said, "we will look for one in a small village."

"I will bring one back for you," he said. The old man chuckled.

"You are certainly willing. Go and bring me a traditional geisha." He smiled after Malachi left. She was going to be an exceptional spy when he was done with her.

………………………………………

Bruce Wayne walked Chase to his box seat. Everyone who was anyone was at the circus that night so of course the media was flocking there like a pack of vultures.

Everyone oood and awed and laughed and where very much enjoying the show when a clown walked up that made everyone feel a bit on edge. As a matter of fact a few clowns came on all wearing masks and carrying guns. The more intimidating of the clowns walked to the center of the ring with microphone in hand.

"Welcome to the show you have all been waiting for," he taunted, "our first act of the evening is Harley Quinn and the Explosive Acrobats!" He and his clowns started clapping as Harley came on with a big black bomb in hand. The cartoon ones that are round with the wick curled out. She lifted a lighter and set it to the wick and pretended to accidentally trip and throw it into the Acrobat stand. It blew the side to pieces causing three of them to fall to their deaths. "Now, uh, if Bruce Wayne wouldn't mind telling me where oh where my daughter has run off to, I'm going to blow the next mast." He laughed wickedly as people began to stand up and panic.

Bruce fought passed the crowed and changed quickly into batman without anyone even noticing. He climbed up to the top as the Joker began making tick tock noises while everyone desperately tried to get out.

He climbed up to the top mast and grabbed the young man about 17 and pull him off before anything else blew up. He looked to be in shock. Then, right on time, Gotham Police showed up. There was a lot of shooting, and people getting into fights and such but the Joker was slipping away. He quickly let go of the boy and ran after the Joker.

After a wild chase downtown began but before Batman could get to close a semi attempted to run him over. Thank god for the eject button or he probably would have been run over. He quickly followed the van but it turned off into a large maze of warehouses and he lost them.

The next morning Bruce offered the young man a place to stay. His name was Dick Grayson and he had proved over the week to be a handful. He even managed to break into the temporary batcave after following him and Alfred on motorcycle. Needless to say that weather Bruce wanted one or not, he had a partner now.

Bruce was not ready to drag Dick into this though, he was going to try and talk him out of it one more time.

"Look, Dick," he said at the kitchen table, "I know last night you were upset but if you are going to be my partner you can't run around like a damned monkey. It's dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt or killed."

"Say what you want Bruce but you got a partner now. Wherever batman goes I'm going to be right there!"

"I won't let you," he said sternly now standing up. Dick got up from his chair and picked up his cereal bowl.

"Try," he said. He put his bowl up. Bruce was losing his patience. The first week he was there and he already found out Bruce was Batman.

"This is not a game," he argued.

"No, it's not! In fact, you and him are both the reason my parents are dead! If you would have just told the Joker where this kid of his-"

"Then he would have still killed you and all of those people," interrupted Bruce, "there was nothing I could do about that. Besides, this girl isn't just some kid, I don't expect you to understand but he cannot find out where she is."

"Why? What does he want with her? No offence but I don't think the Joker is really the family man type."

"It's got nothing to do with family, she is a weapon to him, she almost has the same IQ level as he does and has the same twisted sense of humor. If we can keep her on our side we are okay."

"Sounds kind of risky doesn't it?"

"It's very risky but I don't think she wants to side with the Joker. If they are apart I will stand a better chance than if they are together. But if she is on my side then GPD and I have a better chance."

"Look, Bruce, let me help you catch this guy! He killed my parents. I don't expect you to understand but-"

"My parents were killed to,' he interrupted. Dick was at a loss for words. Bruce just walked away leaving him dumbfounded in the kitchen. It gave him all the more reason to be his partner. Bruce understood how he was feeling yet he still wouldn't let him help. It didn't matter, he would break him eventually.

…………………………………

Okay next time:

Bruce goes after the Joker and Dick follows!

Artemis will scower the temple and the village to find ketchup with her fries!

Ivy will go AWAL on Catwoman with Harley as the referee!

Some of this and maybe more next time!