Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I do have ownership rights to this... er... special story.

A/N: Possibly one of the weirdest ideas I have ever had for a fanfic, but hey, it makes for an entertaining plot! :-P Reviews greatly appreciated. This is going to be a multiple-part short story.

Summary: What started out a harmless game suddenly became an incredibly awkward situation... The four Inner Senshi are dared by Haruka to spend one night staked out in Mamoru's closet without being caught. Never ones to be labelled 'chicken', the girls follow through... and get the surprise of their lives when Usagi shows up mere minutes later! Unfortunately for them, she's in a particularly lusty mood... And so is their dashing chevalier. Now truly stuck in Mamoru's bedroom of all places, the Inners are forced to play audience to their Prince and Princess doing the deed... with mixed reactions from all. Humorous, romantic, and slightly dirty! :-P Enjoy!

A/N: Sorry it's short. College has been difficult. I want to thank: xo Usako ox, Piper Chris Melinda Halliwell, ange de l'aube, Flying Snowflake of Hope, triforcepower-2006, CharmedSerenity3, renkhal, Chichiforever, snoopykid, Hikari Urania, SNeptune21, Miss DnG, MoonlightSonata87, GabbyCullen36, hotflower06, Kitsune Diva, PriestessHelene, SexyInuSailor1, SailorPrincess1237, mangamania, angel03618, Celeste-Love, Crystalinchen, Eternal Lady, Jenbunny, and It speaks to me.

Warning: Adult content! Swearing! Younger readers beware! Rated M.

One Dark and Perverted Night

Part 9: "Break Out the Popcorn"


The door ricocheted open, announcing the heated arrival of one Chiba Mamoru and his girlfriend Tsukino Usagi. The pair, utterly entangled in each other's embrace, stumbled inward and collapsed against the bed's siding. Every jaw dropped open in the closet.

"What. The. Fuck," Makoto quipped softly, and every Senshi concurred.

"This had better not turn into what I think it is," Rei growled almost inaudibly, and Ami just "Eep!"ed pitifully. She'd gone from pale to sickly green in about the space of three seconds. Minako just gawked, shoving her way to the slit. It was a rather sorry display, in Rei's opinion- as much as she wanted to close her eyes and groan about mental scarring, she was spying just as eagerly as her companions. In fact, the crack had become incredibly crowded... even Ami was, reluctantly, trying to see what was going on.

As they say, curiosity killed the cat... but Makoto thought wryly that if Luna were here, it would probably be the opposite. Luna would've killed the curious ebony-headed Prince currently ravishing her charge. Yep, something like that. Usagi let out a low moan and all attention snapped back to the royals.

Mamoru was fumbling at the buttons on their Princess' summer dress, his lips currently vying for control of hers. Usagi was pressed into the mattress by his body, arching in the strong grasp needily. Her fingers were splayed against his chest on one hand, while the other clung desperately to soft raven locks. She issued another thready sound against his mouth and he suddenly responded in kind, beginning to move his hips wildly against hers.

"Oh my God..." Rei choked. "Oh my God, is he seriously- little Usagi- I never-"

"No wonder she bailed on us," Ami breathed strainedly. Makoto glanced up at the blunette in concern.

"Ami-chan... are you hyperventilating?"

Ami ignored the brunette, instead covering her mouth in horror when Mamoru's head moved down to nuzzle Usagi's chest. Minako mimed a wolf-whistle.

"This is getting hot! I feel like I'm watching porn," she grinned teethily, giggling... strangely. Rei had to wonder once again about the blonde's sanity. Everyone stared at her.

"What?" Minako asked innocently. "You can't blame a girl for being interested."

"You're worse than I am," Makoto cringed, and Minako graced the brawny teen with her tongue.

"Nah-uhh. I don't go around breaking into people's homes with my criminal lock-picking experience!"

"I. Don't. Lock-pick! I'm not a criminal!" Makoto seethed, but she clamped down her fury when Mamoru looked up, eyes glazed.

"Usako? Did you hear-?"

"No. Now kiss me," Usagi panted, dragging his face back to hers. Jeez, girl, when did you get so bold? Mamoru shrugged, subject dropped, and his hands went dancing up to the straps of his paramour's dress. There was a pause.

"Usako... are you sure...?"

"Never more sure in my entire life," Usagi gasped, pulling them onto the bed now. "I've waited so long... I'm eighteen now, Mamo-chan... I'm ready."

Four pairs of eyes reeled back from the slit to gaze in terror at each other. Ami made a little sobbing noise.

"They're really going to... and we're stuck here... oh God..."

"Now... now don't panic, Ami-chan," Rei attempted to sooth. "You can just... just... cover your eyes and-"

There was a loud cry from Usagi and a feral, yet husky tone of pleasure from Mamoru. Ami turned beet red. "It won't block the sounds," she uttered miserably.

"Well I for one am going to enjoy the show. Man, wish we had popcorn," Minako sighed. "...What!?"

"You, my friend, are sick," Rei told her plainly, and Makoto shook with laughter at how shamelessly blunt Rei was.

"Yeah, even I'm not that bad!"

Minako glared at the deity of Jupiter. "You keep saying that like you're guilty of something and trying to pin the blame on me!"

Makoto conjured up a rather false display of affrontedness. "I'm telling you, Minako-chan... I'm innocent! I'm a virgin!"

Rei rolled her eyes. "Here we go again with the virginity plea. Mako-chan, you are getting a little suspicious."

Makoto just grumbled unintelligibly and inched back over to the closet's thin shaft of light. Minako followed suit and Rei teetered on the precipice of indecision. Should she...? But it was so wrong... And Usagi would kill her- limb by limb, achingly and agonizingly slow- if she ever found out! But... it would be a safe argument to admit that she wanted to protect Usagi, and was therefore watching to... er... ensure her Princess' well-being... right? Right? Nothing at all to do with a certain horny, hentai desire to glimpse Mamoru's birthday suit and... goods? Rei sighed. She was going to pay for this in the afterlife. No doubt about it. Minako smirked.

"Come to see the show?"

"I'm... just ensuring Usagi's... safety."

"Yeaaah, me too," Makoto added, winking devilishly at Rei. The raven headed priestess blushed. "I mean, I don't want to, but... what the hell are we going to do otherwise? Besides... I wanna know if Mamoru-san really is well-endowed or not. For... Senshi business."

"Psh. You're a bunch of liars. I'll put it nice and simple: Mamoru-san's hot. I want to see a real penis (there were a bunch of snickers at this and coughs begging to differ) and learn a couple tips," Minako threw in as her two cents. "And Mako-chan is right. What else are we gonna do?"

"Yeah!" Makoto nodded. "So... uhh... anyone against it can fuck me!"

Rei gave the girl a very long, very awkward stare. "Please don't ever use that terminology when we are in a situation such as this."

"Yeah! No, I will not fuck you, Mako-chan!" Minako giggled. She received a swap from the crimson Thunder Senshi. "...WHAT!? What do I keep doing wrong?"

"I was not implying anything of the sort, you pervert!"

Rei wanted to groan. They all sounded like whores! What was the world coming to? Watching Usagi and Mamoru have sex? Fielding uncomfortable lesbian comments? Dear God, it was time to get out of this closet! Now, before Ami went comatose in the corner (she seemed bordering), Rei went insane from the hentai images seared into her brain, Makoto started... fucking people... (or was it Minako they should be concerned about?), and Minako drooled all the saliva out of her mouth.

Dammit Haruka-san...


A/N: Bwhahaha! So evil! And... dirty :-D Please, please review!

Until next chapter,

AngelMoon Girl