Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I do have ownership rights to this... er... special story.

A/N: Possibly one of the weirdest ideas I have ever had for a fanfic, but hey, it makes for an entertaining plot! :-P Reviews greatly appreciated. This is going to be a multiple-part short story.

Summary: What started out a harmless game suddenly became an incredibly awkward situation... The four Inner Senshi are dared by Haruka to spend one night staked out in Mamoru's closet without being caught. Never ones to be labelled 'chicken', the girls follow through... and get the surprise of their lives when Usagi shows up mere minutes later! Unfortunately for them, she's in a particularly lusty mood... And so is their dashing chevalier. Now truly stuck in Mamoru's bedroom of all places, the Inners are forced to play audience to their Prince and Princess doing the deed... with mixed reactions from all. Humorous, romantic, and slightly dirty! :-P Enjoy!

A/N: Great globs of... toothpaste! I'm ecstatic at the sheer volume of reviews I've received in my inbox for this story! I'm glad it's so popular... enjoy this chapter and thank you to snoopykid, ange de l'aube, renkhal, Jerikagoddess, Light'by'day, Sailor Moon Has Balls, GabbyCullen36, SerentiyMoonGodness, Jubilee Torch, KAMI'S CHIBI TENSHI, Crystalinchen, Miss DnG, Chichiforever, PrincessSerenity1976, SailorPrincess1237, Flying Snowflake of Hope, CharmedSerenity3, xo Usako ox, Jenbunny, Bronze Wolf, Piper Chris Melinda Halliwell, mangamania, angel03618, Megumi-chan, Sakura Breeze, Megan Consoer, SexyInuSailor1, UsaMamo4eva, PriestessHelene, Celeste-Love, sasumiofjp, usagigirl11, and Serena530.

Warning: Adult content! Swearing! Younger readers beware! Rated M.

One Dark and Perverted Night

Part 10: "Evil Cackling and Phlegm Problems"


Usagi thought she was going to die.

So many sensations were rushing through her body. She felt flushed; no... on fire. Every gentle stroke or frantic nibble Mamoru teased her with sent electricity coursing through skin to vein. She gasped as his fingers reached down and played with her sensitive spot, but as soon as the unexpected jolt of pleasure came, his hand was back at her dress straps, dragging the fabric down to her belly. A modest but cute pink bra greeted Mamoru, and he sucked in a breath at the sight of Usagi's pert nipples, straining for attention against the lingerie. Midnight eyes pleaded with the lighter cerulean. Begging, silently, to take it to the next level. With a barely perceptible nod and a tiny blush, Usagi felt the rest of her garments being tugged away.

And suddenly, her breasts were bared for the world to see.

Well, okay... for Mamoru. But his reaction was worth more to her than any lingering embarrassment or strange sense of being watched. Was he impressed? Turned on? Or facing a bitter surprise where his expectations outmatched reality?

Mamoru drank in the sight of Usagi, chest heaving as she battled for enough oxygen, awaiting his approval.

They were... perfect. And not just in the symmetrical sense.

While not as well-endowed as most of her Senshi, Usagi's breasts were a beautiful cream color, and just the right size to send any man's fantasies wandering into the gutter. Tentatively, Mamoru stroked one. It was soft to the touch, almost unbearably. Usagi seemed to jump under his ministrations. Her paramour caressed again. She responded the exact same way; as if being shocked. A husky tone escaped parted red lips, and Mamoru smiled as his little test succeeded. She liked him touching her there... a lot.

"God, Usako... you're so beautiful," he crooned in a groan. And, with a thrill of elation, Mamoru realized she was all his. Luxuriously warm body, flawless chest and all. He grinned toothily, bending the famed ebony head to suckle a breast. Usagi sighed loudly, carding her fingers through his hair. This was heaven, she decided. Pure bliss.

oOo

What was bliss for Usagi was torture for the Inner Senshi.

Of course, 'torture' is a very loose term, at least in this instance.

Two of the closeted ones' number felt ready to barf repeatedly. The miko with raven hair mimed gagging and choking sounds as Usagi moaned and Mamoru licked. The pedantic with short aqua locks rocked back and forth, hiding her face and mumbling unhelpful reassurances about how the ordeal was soon to be over. Obviously, she was unaware that making love could last for quite a few hours, if performed correctly. And Usagi and Mamoru fully intended to make this the best night of their lives.

The other pair- perhaps better labelled 'dirty whores who have nothing better to do than watch their Prince and Princess have sex and get off on it'- sighed... torturously.

"I want a man to do that to me," Minako leered, giggling at the visions her mind provided. Images Rei really did not want to hear aloud... she was quite happy when no elucidation came forward. Let Minako's hentai thoughts remain just that.

"It's the best feeling in the world," Makoto added dreamily, and she started when three faces whirled to interrogate her. "I... what!? I'm... I'm only guessing! L-look at how much noise Usagi-chan's making! Inference, Watson! Inference!"

Momentarily sated, the accusatory eyes- yes, even Ami's- shifted back to the slit. Because horrified, scarred, disgusted and afraid as she was, Ami had a clinical mind. Therefore, innately inquisitive... and curious as hell about subjects unfamiliar to her. Even sex. But if Mamoru lost his pants, Ami swore she'd faint. That was simply too much. Her heart just wouldn't be able to keep up with her breathing, if that was the case. Already, the obvious bulge at his crotch made her countenance burn crimson.

Maybe as crimson as Usagi's visage currently was.

oOo

Mamoru moved from one breast to the other, for it seemed rather unfair if one got more attention than its sister. Usagi was drowning in the motions of his warm tongue, cooing and moaning him onward. Her hands roved over his back, but suddenly just feeling him against her wasn't enough. She wanted all of him. Ravishing her. Loving her in a way he never had before.

Usagi rested her palm against Mamoru's cheek, then cupped his chin and tilted it up. He sought out her solicitous blue orbs, dizzy and confused. Did she want him to stop...?

"Mamo-chan. Can I...?"

The question lingered in the air, but was continued in the blonde's unsure reach for his shirt buttons. Mamoru understood immediately, and he smirked coyly at her. "Only if I may aid in the disposal of your sundress. I really do want to see the rest of you, unhampered by fabric."

Usagi blushed. "Only for you, my Prince."

Her thin appendages trembled as they endeavored to undo each button. Mamoru, taking pity, laid his callused palm over her fidgety hand and helped the process along. Within minutes, he too was shirtless. Usagi's jaw dropped, but she wasn't the only one who lost control of their mouth.

oOo

Minako let out a low but appreciative whistle. "Hot damn, that guy's got abs! Wonder if he works out along with being Tuxedo Kamen, or...?"

"Eh. Some guys are just born with it. I mean, my old boyfriend, wow... talk about a six pack..." Makoto reminisced.

"Mako-chan, my dear 'virgin'... may I ask why your boyfriend graced you with the sight of his stomach? Especially since such behavior is limited to places that usually involve a bed or a stripper's pole?" Rei challenged, raising a speculative brow. Makoto frowned at the priestess.

"I dunno about you, but I don't exactly consider pools to be sex clubs."

"Oh. Oh yeah," Rei conceded, turning incarnadine. "Swimming. Yeah. I guess he would show his... yeah. I'm just going to shut up now." Crap. Thought I'd cornered her into telling us she's been lying about being a virgin there.

"Nice try."

But I shall persevere! I don't believe you one iota, Kino Makoto! Rei swore darkly. One of these times you're going to slip up... and little miss innocent Rei-chan will be there when you do! Bwhahaha!

Makoto rolled her eyes at the weird way Rei was glaring at her. As if she had a secret! Ha! Hahahahahaha... ha... ha... Er... Makoto cleared her throat awkwardly after the exhausting mental cackling and returned to the porn show- ahhhh, I mean... the witnessing of a terrible mistake! For... for Senshi business! And to protect Usagi! Yeeeah. It was all about saving Usagi. From... um... Mamoru's siren-like ability to woo and entrance... with just his gleaming skin and silky baritone...

Makoto started drooling unconsciously. Consciously, she realized the others were suddenly scooting away from her.

"Eh...? I didn't... fart, did I?"

"Please wipe your mouth, Mako-chan. That's gross."

"Sorry."

Their attention was fast diverted when Usagi let out a sharp exhalation after a suspicious unzipping sound.


A/N: Heh Heh. Oh man, this just gets crazier and crazier; I can assure you that! I love this story; it's so insane! Haha. Please review!

AngelMoon Girl