iCarly Christmas

Chapter 6

iKissed Freddie

Carly couldn't believe what she was doing. She was kissing Freddie. She was actually kissing him. All these years he had wanted her to and she never had but she was doing it now in the studio where they had filmed every icarly episode. Freddie was kissing her back. He had put his arm around her waist. This seemed to be going on for a while and Carly pulled away.

"Freddie, we can't do this." She said.

"I'm sorry." Freddie said quickly stepping back from her. Carly felt bad for him. She knew this is what he wanted but she couldn't do it for this reason. She couldn't kiss him just because she was mad at Melanie for saying that she would never like Freddie back. She couldn't stand having Freddie believe that. She didn't want to lose that sense of safety she felt knowing he would always love her.

"You know Carly I could probably finish this editing up at my apartment. I don't have to stay here if you don't want me to." Freddie said nervously unhooking cords.

"Freddie you should stay. This is part your studio too." Carly said.

"I'm sorry. I know that. I'm just kind of confused. We just kissed. You just kissed me." Freddie said.

"I know." Carly said.

They stood in silence.

"Should we talk about this?" Freddie asked. "I mean if we are we should do it before Sam gets back."

"Ummm... Sure. We can talk about it. I mean we're best friends there's no reason we shouldn't talk about it." Carly said nervously moving from foot to foot.

"Well, did, did you like it?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah. It was nice." Carly said.

"Better than Griffin?" Freddie asked.

"Well, I mean we weren't trying like Griffin and I were. I kind of snuck up on you." Carly said.

"Do you want to try one that's real? Just to compare?" Freddie asked.

"I don't want to compare you to some other guy Freddie. You're my best friend. You're the greatest guy I know next to Spencer and I don't want to compare your kiss to someone else's." Carly said.

"So we can't try one for real?" Freddie asked with a small laugh.

Carly laughed a little too and the tension seemed to be clearing. She didn't know what to do now. Freddie stood there and she looked at him in a different way. He wasn't just tech guy anymore. He was a really cute guy that she spent most of her time with. How had she not noticed how cute he was? How had she not noticed that he was always there for her and that he was the guy that would be honest with her about anything?

Except that he kissed Sam.

"What's wrong Carly?" Freddie asked noting the look of concern that was on her face.

"Nothing, it's just hitting me that we kissed. We have to tell Sam." Carly said.

"We have to tell her right now?" Freddie asked.

"You want to keep it a secret?" Carly asked getting a little flustered.

"What? No, I just don't know what this means. I don't really have it figured out yet." Freddie said. "I mean shouldn't we have it figured out before we tell Sam?"

"Why does this have to mean something? Couldn't it just be a kiss like you had with Sam?" Carly asked.

"It means something because it's you Carly. I've loved you for three years and then you kiss me. That means something to me. When I kissed Sam it was just to do it to get it out of the way." Freddie said. "Was it just a kiss for you?"

"I don't know. I don't know why I did it. I mean Melanie was saying stuff like I'd never love you and you were looking so hurt." Carly said.

"You kissed me to prove Melanie wrong?" Freddie said.

"I don't know why I kissed you Freddie." Carly said.

"I mean if it was just a kiss that's fine. At least I know there's still hope. That's a starting place right?" Freddie said with that hopeful smile of his.

Carly couldn't look him in the eyes. He was so hopeful and she didn't want to hurt him. She knew it would kill him if she told him it was just a kiss. If she told him she did it just to make her self feel like she still had him in case she needed him he would see that she was using him. She felt like she was stringing him along if she didn't start dating him or at least give him a sense that there was hope. Could she see herself dating Freddie in the future though? She wasn't ready to deal with thinking about Freddie like this.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink, okay?" Carly said. "Promise you'll stay here and work on the show?"

"Sure." Freddie said as he watched her leave the studio.

Downstairs Carly went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of juice. She stood in the kitchen staring at the fridge door.

"Hey Carly. How'd rehearsal go?" Spencer asked behind her as he came into the living room.

"I kissed Freddie." Carly said.

"What?!?!" Spencer yelled.

"Shhhh… I kissed Freddie and I don't know what to do now." Carly said.

"What happened? Are you dating now? Did you finally realize you like him? Was it a dare from Sam?" Spencer asked.

"Melanie wanted Freddie to date her and she told him that I would never love him and he was so hurt and I couldn't take the thought that he might stop having feelings for me." Carly said. "I'm a horrible person." Carly said.

"You're not horrible. We all like knowing that someone likes us. It makes us feel wanted." Spencer said. "There's nothing wrong with wanting him to like you."

"There's something wrong with me not being sure if I like him back though." Carly said.

"If you're not ready to take things farther with Freddie then you should be honest with him." Spencer said.

"How long will he wait?" Carly said.

"He's waited three years. He's a very patient person." Spencer said.

"He won't wait forever Spencer. How long until someone comes along that's like me that will go out with him?" Carly asked.

"That is never gonna happen. There's only one Carly Shay." Spencer said giving her a hug.

"Thanks Spencer. Do you think Freddie and I would be a good couple?" Carly asked.

"I've always liked Freddie. I've never understood why you haven't given it a shot. At least you know he doesn't collect peewee babies." Spencer said.

"I couldn't take it if we broke up. We'd still have to do the show. It'd make it awkward for Sam too." Freddie said.

"You shouldn't worry about breaking up. You aren't even dating yet. I think you should just figure out what the kiss means." Spencer said.

Carly took a sip of her juice and then headed back up to the studio. She stood in the hallway looking into the studio. Freddie was concentrating on the laptop. She walked into the studio and said, "Have I ever told you how much I appreciate what you do for the show?"

"Yeah, all the time." Freddie said. "If we could only get Sam on board it'd be a good day."

"So I was thinking about the kiss." Carly said.

Freddie stopped working on the laptop and looked her in the eyes, "And?" He said.

"I think it was just a kiss. I think I just didn't want you to feel bad." Carly said.

"Sure." Freddie said. "It was nice though. I mean, like if at New Years Eve you need someone to kiss at midnight I wouldn't say no."

"I know." Carly said. Her phone went off and she checked it. There was a text message.

Griffin:

Are we still on for New Years Eve? 6:09 pm

"Hey Carly?" Freddie asked. She turned around. "I know this time it was just a kiss but do you think we'll ever be anything more? Maybe when we're older?"

"I don't know. I think what we have now is good. We'll just have to wait and see." Carly said.

Freddie nodded. "I think I'm about done." He said as he turned for the door. Freddie and Carly walked down stairs and saw Spencer on the couch watching TV.

"I'll see you tomorrow Carly. If Sam calls tell her we'll need to get new audio for that elf segment." Freddie said.

Spencer jumped off the couch. I'll walk you out." He said to Freddie as they both went to the hallway.

"Did you and Carly talk?" Spencer asked.

"She told you about the kiss?" Freddie asked.

"I'm her big brother and it's kind of huge news." Spencer said.

"She was trying to make me feel better." Freddie said.

"Did it work?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah it did. I know it was just a kiss but it gives me new hope." Freddie said.

"For what it's worth I think she should be with you. I think it's stupid that she invited Griffin to the New Year's Eve party." After a pause, "Don't tell her I said that." Spencer said.

"Yeah. Have a good night Spencer." Freddie said.

"You knew that she had invited Griffin to the New Year's Eve party right?" Spencer asked.

After a moment, "Yeah. Of course. We're best friends. She tells me everything." Freddie said.

"Good night Freddie." Spencer said.

Freddie entered his apartment and went to his bedroom. He took his shoes off and crawled into bed. He looked to his desk and saw a picture of Carly, Sam and himself. It seemed like so long ago when they took it for the first episode of iCarly. He wondered how long he could really go on waiting for Carly.