Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any associated copyrighted property. All I own is my imagination and therefore, this plot.
Rating: Mature for language, drug usage, sexual references, and lesbianism (because apparantly, that's only for mature audiences).
"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to revceive it." -Ivan Panin
CHAPTER 2
Ino's head was swimming. Her body felt clammy and cold. She knew these were her final moments. She heard some sort of noise and struggled to open her eyes. The moment her eyelids parted slightly, she knew she'd never be able to focus for long. Standing in front of her was… was…
Ino struggled to remember who it was who was standing before her.
"Who…" she struggled to ask her sentence until the pill that she had let dissolve in her mouth slipped out with a generous amount of saliva.
"Oh, Ino," the other girl breathed. "I already called 911," she spoke gently. She gathered the pills in her hands and dumped them on the bedside table. The clattering sound they made was sharp and loud; it made Ino flinch. Climbing onto the bed, she gently touched Ino's arm.
"Ino, can you hear me?"
Ino groaned, gazing blindly at her. The blonde's eyes focused momentarily and she had enough time to take in the other girl's appearance.
Scrawny and thin, the girl's shirt seemed to drape off of her shoulders. No doubt, the green shirt was a medium anyways. She was wearing black pajama bottoms and slip on Vans. Looking up into her face she noted very pale skin. It looked very soft, or perhaps her vision was beginning to blur over again. Green eyes looked worriedly down at her, lacquered with tears, and pink hair was pulled back in a short and choppy ponytail.
The blonde knew she knew this girl but she couldn't recall who she was. Ino shut her eyes due to the fact that her unfocused vision wasn't helping her confused and disoriented state.
"Please, just hold on for a little longer," the girl with the pink hair whispered before brushing Ino's hair out of her face. She recoiled slightly at the dampness of the girl's hot skin. Ino started at the feeling of Sakura's cold hand on her arm.
"You're so warm," the pink haired girl mumbled before hesitantly pulling Ino into her arms. Ino's body trembled and Sakura struggled to keep the tears from falling from her eyes.
She and Ino used to be the very best of friends. When they were younger, they hung out all the time and Ino was like an older sister, despite the fact that they were pretty much the same age. Once they got to middle school, they began to hang out with different crowds and then, once in high school, Ino drifted away completely.
"I want to die," Ino whispered and Sakura didn't know what to do. Ino's body trembled more and Sakura heard the approaching sirens. The blonde girl in her arms made a frightening noise in her throat and suddenly threw up.
"It'll be ok," Sakura cooed to Ino, who was probably not even paying attention to her. The pink haired girl couldn't disregard the pained look on the blonde's face. "It'll be ok."
Sakura sat down hesitantly in the silent room in which Ino was staying. The ambulance had rushed the blonde to the hospital, fearing the worst when she vomited more than she could've possibly held within her stomach. They had flushed her intestines and ran numerous tests to examine the damage to her liver. They were thankful, and surprised, to see that Ino would not be requiring a transplant. Her liver was, however, in terrible shape. She would need to be careful now.
The blonde girl was now lying in the hospital bed, sleeping. They wanted to keep her overnight.
Sighing, the girl reclined in the stiff and unsightly mauve recliner that was next to the hospital bed. Her green eyes shifted over to the sleeping form of the girl who tried to throw her life away. Two IVs were attached to her to give her an extra boost; malnutrition had weakened her.
"Ino Yamanaka," Sakura thought to herself, "why did this happen?"
She frowned, suddenly feeling a bit guilty. It was her who hadn't attempted to revive their friendship. She knew she was hard headed, and she knew trying to be friends with someone who insulted you nearly every day was something that would've been difficult, but she couldn't help but think she could've done something to prevent this from happening. Her ex-best friend had just attempted suicide.
The girl who she used to look up to—the girl who she used to want to be—was now lying inert beneath starched white sheets.
The world had a funny way it functioned; sick and disgusting irony.
Was this what was to be of all the great people of the world, all the great people others envied?
Ino stirred and Sakura started, causing the novel she had brought with her to fall from her lap to the cold tile floor. The smack of the paperback against the tile was enough to cause Sakura to jump again. Glancing over at Ino she bit her lip.
The girl was awake; wide awake.
At first, Sakura said nothing and picked up her book. She then turned to look at Ino, wondering what the hell she was going to say to the girl. Was it alright for her to speak to her? Would Ino flip out that she had thwarted her plan to end her life? Would she question her intentions? Would Ino even speak to her? Still biting her lip she watched as Ino regarded her carefully with tired blue eyes.
"Hey," the blonde spoke casually with a raw and scratchy voice.
"Hey," Sakura replied softly and hesitantly.
Ino chanced a slight and wry smile before shutting her eyes again. She took a deep breath, still breathing awkwardly. She swallowed hard, and then all movement ceased.
Gathering her bravado, Sakura spoke again while brushing some hair that had fallen lose out of her eyes.
"Are you angry with me?"
Ino didn't reply and Sakura sighed. She was tired. She had been there all day and it was late. She wouldn't be able to function properly at school the next day, and she'd need to get her make-up work done. She felt that maybe she should leave. Grabbing her keys off of the small table next to the disgusting looking chair, she stood.
"Yes," Ino said out of nowhere.
"What?" Sakura asked, half wondering what Ino had said and half wondering if she had said anything of importance at all.
"Yes. I'm angry with you," Ino spoke without a tremor in her voice. Sakura felt her old jealousy return. Ino was so strong, no matter what.
"I'm sorry," Sakura said. "I'm sorry you have to go through that kind of stuff and I'm sorry that you feel that you need to kill yourself."
"Why are you here?"
"Are you wishing you'd succeeded?" Sakura asked, wondering and slightly upset. Why would anyone throw away their life like that? There was so much the world could offer—you just had to look in the right places for the right things.
"What the fuck do you want with me?"
Sakura pressed her lips together in silent vexation. Ino was just as annoying as ever.
"Still can't get your head out of your ass, huh Sakura?" Ino accused, sitting up weakly. Sakura had never favored swear words; Ino often thought of her as a prude.
"Shut up," Sakura warned, not wanting her temper to get the better of her.
"She's injured. She's injured," she chanted over and over in her head.
"Just get the fuck out of here. I don't know what the fuck you were thinking when you 'saved' me," Ino spat with a tangible disdain. The word "saved" had been said with intense hatred. "You fucking broke into my house anyways."
Sakura finally burst. "Shut up Ino-pig!" the old insult finally resurfaced. "I was doing you a fucking favor. Why would you throw yourself away like that?! I don't give a fuck your parents don't love you, or whatever. I was doing the right thing."
Taking a deep breath, Sakura continued, much calmer, "I just… I didn't want to wake up the next morning to hear that you had died when there was something I could've done to stop you and prevent it. It would've hurt so badly."
"Always a saint," Ino mumbled turning to look at Sakura with wondering blue eyes.
"You look like a zombie," Sakura said with a sarcastic smirk. "Go to sleep."
As Sakura moved towards the door, Ino called out, "Wait."
Sakura stopped, wondering what Ino could possibly want.
"You'll be back, right?" Ino blushed, her pale pasty cheeks gaining a slight tint. Sakura gazed at her with worried and tired green eyes.
"Yeah, tomorrow after swim practice… I'll… call you when I get home though, if that's alright."
Ino, after a long moment, nodded slightly in approval.
"Ok, well don't wait up or anything. It's ok if you don't answer," the pink haired girl said, gesturing to the phone next to the bed.
Ino merely watched her with red rimmed eyes which were quickly filling with tears. Sakura left with a thousand thoughts in her head.
She wondered how Ino had known she had broken into the house. Her father was home; it was a possibility that the man had let her in. Though, Ino must've known that he would just sleep through the doorbell and slamming on the door. He hadn't even woken up when the paramedics had come and when he finally did, he had looked annoyed. His expression was one that said, "You're waking me up for that? Do you think I care?" Sakura frowned. How could someone's parents regard them like that?
She scoffed at her own hypocrisy. Her mother had walked out on her father and her when she was very young. So one half of her parental duo was AWOL, but the chances of both parents not caring were slim to none.
When Sakura arrived at home, she was beyond tired, but she knew she had to call Ino. It was bad to make promises and not keep them and she had no excuse to go back on a promise so simple. When she called the phone rang for a long time, and she wondered if Ino had fallen asleep again. She was just about to hang up when the piercing ring ended and the distinguished sound of the connection met her ears. She waited for a moment, wondering if Ino would speak first until logic caught up with her and she realized that that was probably not going to happen.
"Hello?" Sakura asked into the receiver, softly.
"Hey," Ino said, sounding tired.
"I didn't wake you, did I?" the green eyed girl wondered, biting her lip in worry. If Ino had been asleep, then she should probably go back to sleep, she reasoned. Ino would need her rest.
"Ah, no," the blonde said, sounding like she had more to say, but keeping it to herself.
"Ok, well if you feel tired or anything, you just tell me, and I can talk to you tomorrow."
"I'm tired," Ino said, almost instantaneously. A frown tugged at the corners of Sakura's mouth. No doubt, Ino wouldn't really want to talk to her anyways.
"But… I don't want to be left alone right now," she finished.
"I'm sorry I had to leave," Sakura said, kicking her shoes off as she flopped down onto her twin sized bed.
"I understand," Ino replied.
Silence permeated their conversation and Sakura felt really strange. It was awkward to say the least.
"So… Are you ok talking about this?"
"What?"
"About what happened… about… you."
Sakura bit her lip, tired. Would Ino take offense to that? Did she care even?
"I'm fine. I don't care."
Ino seemed indifferent, but Sakura knew better.
"Are you sure?"
"I said I'm fine," Ino barked, immediately. Sakura cringed. Why had she even suggested this? There was absolutely nothing for them to talk about. Did Ino read? Probably not. Did Ino like professional swimming? Probably not. Hell, they had absolutely nothing in common… Nothing but this awkward moment together.
"Wow, this is awkward," Sakura laughed uncomfortably.
"Sakura, what do you want with me?"
"I don't want anything," the scrawny girl replied, somewhat confused. She figured people just didn't do "good" for good's sake anymore, and she realized it was true. Everyone was looking for some sort of bonus, some sort of added incentive. Even charity was rarely given for charity anymore. This idea hurt Sakura, just a little, and as she thought of it, she yawned.
Ino was silent and Sakura decided to just tell Ino about her day.
"So, I woke up this morning pretty early. I had swim practice at seven. It was fun, like usual." Sakura paused, worried that Ino would perhaps get annoyed with all of her talking. When the hospitalized blonde said nothing, she continued.
"I went home and Naruto tagged along, because he needed a ride. I personally think he still has a crush on me. Actually, I know he still has a crush on me. Hinata likes him a lot though. I've been trying to get them together for the longest time, I should know better though, because I'm obviously not the one to go to for romance help."
"Are you not dating anyone right now?"
"No," Sakura said with a bit of an embarrassed blush.
As Sakura continued to talk about nothing of importance, Ino merely listened, until Sakura got tired and wished her goodnight and hung up. The scrawny pink haired girl felt kind of dumb, thinking she was merely talking to herself when in truth Ino had been listening the whole time.
The next morning, at school, Sakura was what one would call a zombie. After getting off the phone with the blonde, the magnitude of all that had happened really hit her. Ino had tried to take her life. She had tried to kill herself. She really felt as if there was nothing to live for. Sakura, with tears in her eyes and with a heavy heart, couldn't fall asleep. That night, as she tossed and turned in her bed, she vowed to show Ino exactly how beautiful life can be.
Though, as she sat in Physics with a raging headache, a short patience, and no will to keep awake, she was beginning to doubt her own abilities. Would someone as (secretly) cynical as her be able to make the little things in life stand out as beautiful to someone who tried to kill themselves?
Ino listened quietly, for the fourth night in a row, as Sakura spoke to her tiredly. Part of her wanted to tell the girl to go to sleep, and part of her selfishly wanted to listen to the scrawny girl's voice all night. Sakura had a soothing voice; it had evened out over the years, losing that bratty sound. It was enjoyable, to say the least, and the way she whispered at night made Ino hang on to every word.
The blonde was feeling somewhat selfless and was about to suggest the other girl go to sleep until Sakura stopped talking suddenly. She was in the middle of talking about what happened at lunch with Naruto when she asked, "When are you coming back to school?"
The question had startled Ino, and she considering not answering; just keeping silent like she did all of their conversations. Sakura stopped speaking and the only sound the blonde could hear was her own deep breathing. No doubt the strange girl was very close to sleep, if not already there.
"I don't know," Ino finally decided to reply, wrapping her arm around her side.
"Why not?" Sakura breathed lightly. The blonde girl looked out across her dark room, her eyes taking in all that she could see in the absence of light. Her phone was getting very hot from being in a call for so long. How long had the pink haired girl been talking? Two hours? Three? That didn't make much sense—it didn't seem reasonable.
"I don't know," Ino replied again, softly.
"What? That's stupid Ino Pig," Sakura half laughed. "You can't be that indecisive."
Ino listened to Sakura's laughing and cringed, suppressing a snarky remark. That was the reason why she wouldn't go back to school. She was hyper aware of what people thought of her. She knew how gossip was. No doubt, people were laughing about her and making jokes about her every day. She wasn't the nicest girl at school. No one would really care that she had tried to kill herself… Well, no one except Sakura.
"They'll laugh," she spoke with chapped lips. Sakura's laughter ended immediately. The silence that met her ears was uncomfortable. Ino was contemplating hanging up the phone. Sakura obviously had nothing else to say to her. Perhaps she had caught the scrawny girl in a lie; perhaps Sakura was amongst those at school who laughed at her and made up hurtful jokes she had yet to hear.
"Why should you care about that?" Sakura said, louder than she had been speaking all night. "What others think about you is not important! You have to… You have to take your own advice. Be confident and be yourself."
Ino's ice blue eyes filled with tears. The Sakura of her youth hung on to every word she said, looked up to her as a role model, and still existed within the Sakura who rescued her from death those nights ago.
The Sakura who was aware of her downfall. The Sakura who knew that she had fallen from her pedestal.
Tears fell from Ino's eyes and she hung up the phone without saying a word. She realized now that Sakura was on top of the world—her own world at least. She was doing very well in school, managing to survive happily with only her father and step-family, had excellent friends, and had saved a life. Sakura would always feel good about herself, no matter what.
The blonde was jealous; insanely jealous. Sakura had everything she wanted. She even had a beautiful thin figure, something she had been trying to achieve for the longest time. Her hands fell to her stomach again and she suddenly felt nauseas.
She rolled over and pressed her face into her pillow, fighting the urge to vomit. She decided that she'd go back to school on Monday—there was no use wallowing in her own pain. She'd have to rebuild her life on her own. She'd be the best again, the one everyone envied… or so she hoped.
The next morning, Ino drove to school thinking about how her father really didn't care about enforcing her "groundedness". She hoped to piss him off a little more by taking his nice new Lexus instead of her car, which was as equally nice and expensive, but not as new.
Much to her surprise, the day started without any major incidents. Of course there were a few whispers here and there, and rooms got quiet when she walked in, but she was used to that kind of stuff. Yes, of course it bothered her, but she wasn't going to let that be the only thing in her mind. Right before lunch, she ran into Sakura in the hallway.
"Ino! Good to see you up and about," Sakura smiled at her with pearly white teeth and familiar narrowing eyes. Ino merely stared and marveled at her chipper. Was she not going to ask about being hung up on a couple of nights ago?
"Hi," Ino spoke with a scrutinizing look.
Sakura regarded her with a soft, lopsided smile, and her green eyes seemed to flit over the girl very quickly.
"Where are your books?" Sakura asked, probably because she was going to offer to help carry them. The blonde girl frowned, wondering if she seemed weak on her feet. She sure felt it, and she was sure that she looked paler than ever.
"Ino! Oh my god!" a voice squealed from behind her and the blonde turned around to see two girls that used to follow her around claiming to be her best friends. "We were so worried!"
Ino frowned, looking at them incredulously. No way were they just now talking to her, attempting to act as if they had been good friends.
"When we heard you were in the hospital, we were very worried," the other girl spoke slowly, as if Ino was… not in her right of mind.
Was that a rumor going around? That she was crazy? And of course these stupid bimbos would be the ones to take that to heart.
"Get out of my face," Ino bit out, seemingly calm, but boiling with rage. Sakura nodded at them, advising them, with her eyes, to leave when they had the chance.
"Ino, girl, don't be like that. We're sorry your life sucks so bad," the girl said, trying to seem genuine. Sakura cringed at the poor grammar and Ino's "friends" looked at her with a bit of disgust before looking back at Ino. Little did she know that Ino was just one comment away from blowing her gasket.
"Seriously, I think you guys should leave her alone," Sakura advised gently.
The two girls looked back at Sakura with disdain and turned up their noses.
"Who the fuck is this?" one girl asked, scoffing at Sakura and her somewhat scruffy (in comparison) attire.
"Ew, who do you think you are? Ino's our friend, so back off gold digger," the other huffed.
"Friend?!" the blonde exploded, instantly annoyed. The two girls jumped, startled, and Ino's face flushed with rage.
"Don't you ever let that word come out of your stupid, disgusting, cock sucking mouth in any relation to me," the blonde girl growled stepping forward. "You two are not my friends. Never were, never will be. I'm so sick of fake friends! Sakura is the only one who talked to me at the hospital, or even came to fucking see me. Fuck you and your stupid false friendship! You can take that idea and shove it up your ass! I'm tired of you both."
The girls looked appalled before glancing around at the crowd they had attracted.
"Fine then," one of the two finally said with annoyance. "Be like that. As if we want to be friends with some sort of psychotic, suicidal bitch."
They walked away and Ino huffed, breathing heavily in anger. Sakura looked concerned and took a step towards the blonde.
"Are you ok?" she asked and Ino suddenly felt ridiculously tired and her eyes lost focus for a few moments. Soon, her legs felt very weak and she passed out.
The blonde girl awakened to the sight of a white, tiled ceiling. She remembered learning somewhere that the ceiling tiles were made of plaster and gypsum. Something absolutely unimportant to know, but it caused her some sort of strange comfort.
She sighed, tiredly and rolled her head to the side. She saw, once again, that she was connected to an IV. The needle was lost to her sight, beneath her skin, at the junction of her arm. With a frown she rolled her head to look at the other side of the room only to see familiar green eyes gazing at her with worry, concern and caring.
There was only one person who ever looked at her that way anymore and Ino suddenly felt overwhelmed.
"Have you been eating?" the pink haired girl inquired, gently resting her hand on Ino's bed.
The blonde didn't reply, feeling ashamed in a way. It was obvious she was disappointing Sakura, yet why should she care that she was? Why? Because Sakura was the only one who looked at her in that way; as a person who was deserving of human care.
"The nurse says you're malnourished," Sakura tried again, seeming a bit defeated. "Have you been eating?" she asked again.
Ino couldn't bring herself to answer. Tears filled her eyes and she looked away from Sakura. The pink haired girl sighed, seemingly losing patience with the girl she saved from death.
"Why would you do this to yourself? I don't understand…"
"I'm sorry," Ino finally said, not even attempting to hide the tears in her sky blue eyes.
"No you're not," Sakura said in a very disappointed way. "If you were, you'd try to help yourself."
The pink haired girl left, and Ino cried silently to herself. Sakura didn't come see her the next day, or even the next. Ino laid in bed, refusing to eat much (how would she, the food tasted like paper) and obnoxiously requesting a cigarette every time a nurse came to talk to her.
She soon found that her father requested to have her receive counseling. Ino laughed at that, finding it hard to believe her father would do anything for her wellbeing. It was merely a ploy to have her well again so that his business partners could stop worrying about his personal life. Like hell she'd go to counseling. She knew she had a problem. Smoking and anorexia were just the results of that problem. What to do about her image problem and lack of self confidence? She would always be dissatisfied with her body; that was just her personal vision of aesthetics. What was wrong with her wanting to better herself?
Was nothing she did ever good enough? The persistent whispers of escape flitted about her head; they had only been getting stronger and stronger these past few days. She could only ignore the temptation for so long.
A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews and feedback. I suppose I'll continue this story :) Your opinions are very highly regarded! I'm busy busy busy with senior year (college apps., scholarships, etc.) but I'm trying to make time to write.
Thank you for reading; please review
-E.E
